Charlie Kirk: Why We Didn't Talk About The Tragedy Until Now

Steve Alessi:
If you've got hate towards this man that was murdered, why do you have hate?

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
Well, hate's not going to give you what you're looking for.

Mary Alessi:
No.

Steve Alessi:
Hate leads you in the opposite direction of a good God quality life.

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
It's moved you in a direction of hurt. It's of, of, of anger and bitterness and bitterness and, and that root does not produce good fruit in your life. Hello and welcome to another episode of the Family Business with the Alessis. I'm Steve Alessi and I'm sitting today in the podcast booth with my wife Mary Alessi. Happy to be here. Business partner as we work together. So Mary, again, man, got some great shout outs. So much good is happening.

Steve Alessi:
The Family Business newsletter. If you want to find out more and more about what you can do or be a part of our family business, then we ask you to go ahead and sign up at Slash newsletter.

Mary Alessi:
Not everybody.

Steve Alessi:
You got good eyes.

Mary Alessi:
That's right.

Steve Alessi:
Zoom in. It should be somewhere down in the show notes. We'll be able to get that to you.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
But it's Alessi. A L E-S S I Family Business.com Newsletter. Right now we're closing in on 1 million views and a lot of subscribers, too. A lot of subscribers. Good things are happening. We're in season eight and we have some good stuff to talk about today.

Mary Alessi:
We do some interesting things.

Steve Alessi:
Yeah, there's been a lot going on since we have been in a little hiatus of taping and we've been having to navigate especially this most recent one, which would have been the murder of Charlie Kirk, how it affected what we were doing and then how our response needed to come across to our church family. And again, we're very, very strategic when it comes to how we deal with these events that happen.

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
So we, we want to go ahead and talk about that a little bit today from, from our perspective.

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
As religious leaders in our community and how we led our personal family through it, how you and I. Yeah. Went through it. And then how we led our business, our church family through it.

Mary Alessi:
And still leading.

Steve Alessi:
Yeah. And, and you have some very strong opinions on this, as do I. But you really took, took this and, and I, I respect you for the way you read up on it and were very balanced in hearing both sides of all the voices that were being shared out there, especially on social media. So what do you want to say to start this off?

Mary Alessi:
Well, you know, interestingly, you and I haven't really even had much of a conversation about it. I mean, we've Talked around it, but we haven't necessarily just sat down and talked through that first day. We were finishing four nights of incredible event that we have a yearly conference that we look forward to every year at our church. We've been doing it for 28 years and had all of our guests in town, and we were excited about it. And that last night was our big culminating night. And that's the day that Charlie Kirk was assassinated. And let's just start right there. You say murder.

Mary Alessi:
I use the word assassinated. And we don't even know what we can say about how he actually was killed.

Steve Alessi:
Because we can say however we want. These.

Mary Alessi:
No, we can. Yes, yes, yes. No, I know that. I'm saying with the critics out there.

Steve Alessi:
It'S almost a compliment to get canceled these days.

Mary Alessi:
Well, my Lord, come on, go for it. You want to cancel me?

Steve Alessi:
Somebody got upset with that. I want to call it murder. Somebody get sad with it. Hey.

Mary Alessi:
But the reality is, it's created such an. A sense of. Of nervousness in the world. I think. I think people are still processing. This is only. What are we, two weeks from the night he was killed? Three, maybe just. It's not been that long that people are still processing how they feel.

Mary Alessi:
And when it. When it comes to this particular situation, this. This event that took place, regardless of what side of the aisle you're on politically or who Charlie Kirk represented to you, the responses are so widespread. Some are emotional. From the standpoint of this is it. This is truly the turning point in our nation. We will never be the same. Some are responding from the perspective of the revival that has caught wildfire because of it, the Charlie effect.

Mary Alessi:
And you're hearing all these things. I don't know if you know this, but this week, they're really coming after his wife, Erica. There are so many conspiracy theories, and I haven't seen this. Somebody told me about it. That's the only reason I know it. They told me that the way the world is working with Google and YouTube and social media and all the barrage of conspiracy theories out there now, it's the red meat effect where they're just creating more conspiracies just to make money. And we have to be so careful what we listen to and what we believe and what we're hearing, because the confusion it's causing, it just doesn't stop. There's no, this is who killed him.

Mary Alessi:
This is how it happened. These are the facts. This is what the FBI says. Absolute proof. This is how it went down. There are five different conspiracies over who killed Charlie Kirk. I mean, talk about destabilizing. We're still taking in the fact that we watched a young man in real time get shot in the neck and killed.

Mary Alessi:
This was not a video game. He didn't get more lives.

Steve Alessi:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi:
This is real. And we're living in such a pretend world where everything is AI and you don't really know if it's real or not. So we're always living on that line. Is that real? Is that not real? This was real. Our brains took it in. Our eyes took it in.

Steve Alessi:
Did you see the shot?

Mary Alessi:
I accidentally saw it. I had no intention of seeing it. But there are people saying Israel did it and it was his lapel and it exploded. People are saying Trump did it with Turning Point, that his wife. I mean, it's the truth. You know what I think, why there are so many crazy conspiracy theories right now? I think it is in direct reaction to watching a young man get murdered. I think that's our psyches right now. I think that we are.

Mary Alessi:
We are actually reacting to the shock and the grief of it. And this is what our brains do. Crazy stuff, because we're still processing that somebody was radicalized, whether on their own, took matters into their own hands, climbed up on a roof, was premeditated enough to carve into bullets. Whatever his message was, you know how long that would take to carve into the bullets. Just think about that. Just carving into whatever the theme is, the premeditation, the hate on this young man's heart, the demonic nature of what he did and what he was involved in then. Not to find a coward's way out and say, forget it. I've thought about it.

Mary Alessi:
I don't want to do this.

Steve Alessi:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi:
But to go all the way through with the commitment to climb up on a roof, kneel down, get a gun. I mean, you and I hunt, right? And I can't tell you how many times I'm sitting in that stand and you'll say, okay, here he is. Here he is. Mary, you're so happy that this. This deer's gonna come out, this old buck's gonna come out, and I get gun shy. The. The. The thought that someone could be so demon possessed, you'd have to be.

Steve Alessi:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi:
To shoot through a crowd of people to shoot and kill somebody you don't even know.

Steve Alessi:
Don't even know.

Mary Alessi:
So let's just take that in for a minute. But we're not even allowed to take in the realities that someone is so disturbed, we can't even stop there and just process that because now we're forced to accept these stupid conspiracy theories that aren't helping. They're only hurting and disrupting more. Of course, that's just my first three minute rant. I got more.

Steve Alessi:
Oh, she got more. One of the reasons I, I personally didn't get so attached to the whole scenario. I know it's so horrible because someone was murdered. Someone took a man's life and a man that had such promise, a man that represented our values so much. The more I talk about this, the more I, I buy into it and I take ownership of it. So I personally don't want to do that. I, I just. Where I'm at in my life, I don't want to use that emotional battery supply that I have.

Mary Alessi:
Sure.

Steve Alessi:
Towards that. So I'm not, I'm not on those feeds. I'm not reading the, the different conspiracies. Even when it comes to the news, anytime I see the name Charlie Kirk right now I kind of just mute. I don't want to hear anything more because just of where I'm at. And one of the reasons that is the case, not because I don't want to know, but because I have no trust in the source.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
That is feeding this information out there. I don't trust the liberal media, I don't trust the conservative media. I don't trust social media special. I don't, I don't have a go to news source that I, all right. I believe these people and everything they say. I don't have a person that I can look to that's going to give me what I think is the truth. I just don't have that because there's so much misinformation out there and we're only being given what people want us to hear.

Mary Alessi:
That's right.

Steve Alessi:
So everybody's got a bias in this. So that's where I just don't go. Deep down I step back a little bit. I know I have some energy and space to take in so much information because when I get up to represent a message on a platform that should be pure preaching an unadulterated truth that comes from the Bible. I don't want to be biased by any information, any source of information that could lead me to separate the very people that I'm called to serve and love on right from the platform. And what goes in my mind will come out my mouth. And I personally got to be sensitive to that. So I'm informed.

Steve Alessi:
But I don't have to go hit every subject matter that's occurring in the world. Okay. Which is why I needed to lean in sometimes to some of your information, because I'm sensitive to it.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah. But okay, so there are several things we need to talk about in this conversation, because first of all, what happened? How does it affect our nation? How does it affect us personally right down to where we live? That's something we could talk about. We also need to talk about the after effects of now. Every social media justice warrior, even pastors, preachers, evangelists, paraministry organizers that are taking to social media now, and a lot of them are taking to social media because, let's be honest with you, it's a great way to get lots of followers, lots of likes, lots of responses and whatever. You know, it's the 24 hour news cycle. But then the next thing we want to talk about, right. Is what should pastors be saying? I mean, we have people right now that we know that are friends of ours that do this ministry thing for a living, and they are spending their podcast time on YouTube saying, Pastors, let me talk to you. If you've not gotten up in your platform and talked about Charlie Kirk, you are missing it.

Mary Alessi:
Let me help you see why you need to talk about Charlie Kirk. Well, this is the thing that we need to be very understanding and discerning and responsible for. As leaders with microphones and cameras in front of us, we should be slow to speak. We shouldn't rush to say something until we processed it and we've thought it through. Because this is. There's a lot that hangs in the balance here and it's not even political. One of the things that we've kind of strung this towards, like connected this the dots to, is how we felt about COVID when Covid happened. After a few weeks, one of the things that we were the most concerned about was not the effect and the impact of COVID on people.

Mary Alessi:
It was the fear of COVID and the fear of the long range effects in our nation and wearing masks and people and civil war. Just the crazy thing. It's like the same thing all over again. And so you and I got very aggressive going after fear rather than just Covid in and of itself, because we understand how fear can grip a person and it can latch on to them for a long time and manifest in other ways. So it's like, pick your poison, pick your fear. We're in a situation right now where we're like, what should we be afraid of?

Steve Alessi:
Right.

Mary Alessi:
So if we first talk about the actual effect of the loss of life of Charlie Kirk and the platform that he represented. We saw the. We saw the funeral, and it was unbelievable.

Steve Alessi:
Unbelievable. Especially if you're a believer, a Christian. What was unreal on that platform in that environment is unheard of. It wasn't a funeral. No, that. That. That's where you got to give some props here. It was his funeral, but it was a service and powerful to have some of the strongest religious leaders there.

Mary Alessi:
Two hours of worship.

Steve Alessi:
Yeah. Pretty crazy.

Mary Alessi:
And for people that are criticizing it now, looking back on it, Chris, saying that it was the Republican National Convention, for those people, let us just say this. You can look at it through those jaded lenses if you want to, but never in the history of television have we ever seen two hours of worship from our favorite anointed worship leaders. And it brought healing to the people in that room because the majority of them were not Christians, but they were grieving. They were in shock. And to me, I felt like in the story of where David was the psalmist and he brought a spirit of peace to a very troubled Saul, and the Bible says he quieted the demons in Saul. I really felt like the response to Charlie Kirk's murder and assassination, that two hours of worship brought peace and quiet to a very uneasy spirit of people that were just absolutely in shock that what they saw. So that was a plus.

Steve Alessi:
I do think that's.

Mary Alessi:
Leave it at that.

Steve Alessi:
More of his life, of his death, that funeral that was focused on his death really gave us more value of his life because look how they celebrated.

Mary Alessi:
And it brought peace.

Steve Alessi:
It did.

Mary Alessi:
So to destabilization.

Steve Alessi:
That's a plus. And we haven't seen that before.

Mary Alessi:
No.

Steve Alessi:
Nobody was writing a president draw that kind of attention at their death.

Mary Alessi:
No one. No one. God brought that for Charlie, in spite of Charlie. However you want to see it, God is God. He brought that sense of peace. The world needed it, because that was. Where are we here? What does this mean? And I think for those of us who call ourselves Christians, I'm not trying to be dramatic here, but I can tell you in the spirit, I felt like we could start hearing demons screaming because the enemy wanted to get more from this than he got. But that reaction, that response just calmed and brought peace to chaos and confusion.

Mary Alessi:
And that's my take on it. Leave the other speeches from people you may or may not like. Leave that. It doesn't matter. What it did was very settling to an unsettling environment. Yeah, that's what I felt from it.

Steve Alessi:
I appreciate that. And we were up at camp Getting ready to.

Mary Alessi:
We didn't even get to watch it.

Steve Alessi:
Getting ready to help some campers come to our farm. And we didn't have time to get in the weeds of that. But what we did see, it was a beautiful memory of his life. And I would hope that people that may be left leaning may hear what we're saying today would, would be willing to say, you know what, like any funeral, there's respect. When you go to a funeral, right. There's respect for a person after they pass. You don't have to pick up any rocks and continue to throw them at a person who has passed. Let.

Steve Alessi:
Let their works, their life work speak for itself.

Mary Alessi:
Yes.

Steve Alessi:
And if people were helped by this person, they then leave it at that.

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
Don't try to tear him down now. Don't, as they say, you know, go spit on his grave. Don't do that. No, that's not what good people, normal human beings do. No, you don't, let alone Christians. Christians don't operate that way.

Mary Alessi:
No.

Steve Alessi:
And Mary, it's okay that we say Christians operate differently. Our playbook is different than the other playbook.

Mary Alessi:
That's right.

Steve Alessi:
And our playbook tells us how to respond on something like this. And his bride, his wife showed us exactly how to respond to a person that hurt you. That's right. And she forgave. She spoke publicly forgiving the shooter, the one who murdered her husband.

Mary Alessi:
That's right.

Steve Alessi:
So there's so much good. Now, here's what I think we could look at. Country's moved on. That's crazy. Right now we're talking about the government getting ready to shut down. And, and the, the same politicians who were there crying out to try to get the country to say, wait, we just lost a good man, has now been forced to get back to their regular life, which usually happens when somebody dies.

Mary Alessi:
Oh, yeah.

Steve Alessi:
And when I go to a funeral, I always say this, especially as I lead them. You know, when you're here at a funeral, when you're dealing with the death of somebody, what it would cause you to do is stop and put a pause on everything else that's going on in your life and take a look at your life.

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
Because you're next.

Mary Alessi:
That's right.

Steve Alessi:
Somewhere in line. You're, you're, you won't burns out.

Mary Alessi:
That's right.

Steve Alessi:
And you'll move on. Hopefully it's by natural means and everybody's able to celebrate you. If this should do anything, losing such a good man, it should cause you to go back and check yourself before you wreck yourself. Right. What needs to be fixed and altered in you? If you've got hate towards this man that was murdered, why do you have a right? Well, hate's not going to give you what you're looking for.

Mary Alessi:
No.

Steve Alessi:
Hate leads you in the opposite direction of a good God quality life.

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
It's moved you in a direction of hurt. It's of anger and bitterness. And bitterness. And that root does not produce good fruit in your life. If you've been a skeptic, get back and sit back and say, why? Why, why am I so skeptical about him or about that? You know, go back and sit. Let this all look. Cause you to look at your life. And it should tell you that you want at your funeral, people being able to say some good things about you.

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
And what your life has inspired in others. Because this has this young man in his 30s. Are you kidding me? To have such an impact on already, Right. Upon a generation that was being forced to buy into a woke agenda.

Mary Alessi:
Yes, yes.

Steve Alessi:
This guy brought light to the dark world. Well, and his. His testimony of his relationship with God did that. And you brought up something he was not. He was more political before he got married.

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
Than he was spiritual.

Mary Alessi:
Oh, absolutely.

Steve Alessi:
What allowed him to become so spiritual towards the end?

Mary Alessi:
Well, he met a beautiful woman that was super godly. And he. She said, you have to share your faith, Charlie. You have to share your faith. And he would. Let's remember something. He was going into universities, he was going into colleges, and he wasn't go. He did speak at some churches, but he wasn't at all churches.

Mary Alessi:
He wasn't trying to spread just conservative talking points. He was really always connecting anybody that took that microphone back to a relationship with Jesus Christ. And let's also know that he was starting to really battle the transgender movement. There was a lot of transgenders in those colleges. That's when things went sideways. But that's when he ramped up his talk and his. More and more, he was sharing his faith, helping that one person that would come to that microphone. He wasn't preaching to churches about their faith.

Mary Alessi:
He wasn't like bringing. Having these big services for people to come and getting people saved. He was in those environments, whoever would take that microphone, they would share their side of the debate. He would share his side of the debate, but then he would always tie it back to somehow witnessing to them about the Lord. And he got very bold in his faith towards the end there, which, you know, it's interesting, but he did say something that struck me he said, I have often wondered why these universities are so threatened by me. He said, I get three hours of their students life if they take that microphone. And for who comes into that courtyard at school, because I get three hours, that's all I have. My turning point event is three hours from start to finish.

Mary Alessi:
They get four years. Why are they so threatened by me? And that to me was a really good insight to how the universities today are really trying to control the minds of the next generation. And if we can't stay, yes, a nation, but a civilization, human beings that could hear both sides of the argument. If we lose that, we're losing a lot. So you can hate us politics. Listen, there are people that are on the opposite side of what I believe. But I appreciate the fact that they can either articulate what they believe or they're bold enough to articulate it. Because I can listen to their argument and I can say, well, there's some good to take away.

Mary Alessi:
But, but that argument has to bow because that isn't factual or that won't hold up or that's not sustainable. But it helps me stay a critical thinker. So when we lose that, when we try to put that out, when we try to destroy it, we lose the very fabric of what makes us humans. Free will to believe what we want to believe, to think what we want to think, to choose two paths. And that's the essence of Christianity too. We can, we can check it out, we can read the Word, we can try it for ourselves, we can walk out this life and see if it works for us or not. And God doesn't strike us dead.

Steve Alessi:
Yeah, yeah.

Mary Alessi:
Anytime that we try to move away from critical thinking as a church, as an organization, we're a cult. That fast. No. I always love it when people want to test the word of God and come up and ask us questions. But you said this, Pastor, and. But the word says that good for you. Yes. You need to test this out for yourself.

Mary Alessi:
And see, we've taught our kids to find their faith through studying the word of God and knowing it for themselves. So the whole foundation of our nation that Charlie Kirk was going after, if you are only hearing the racist sound bites, what it's going to force you to do is go listen to the whole thing.

Steve Alessi:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi:
And if you go listen to the whole. And that's going to hurt the other side because if you go back and listen to the whole thing, you're going to go. If you're a critical thinker, you're going to go, oh, that's not what he said. Now, let me just say I did not always like his approach. I'm going to go out on a limb and tell you this. I stopped following Charlie Kirk a while ago. I did follow him. Just because I followed him.

Mary Alessi:
He was there now. I followed him. But I. I started to really trying to streamline the voices when I'm scrolling that I'm hearing, and it was argumentative. And I just didn't want to be in a place of hearing arguments all the time. But he had his calling. He had his place. He needed to go into that area where he was going and bring an argument.

Mary Alessi:
But I don't need that every day in my life. I know what I believe. I know I'm not changing my mind.

Steve Alessi:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi:
So I didn't need that. That does not mean that I am in any way was against what he said. I agreed with a lot of what he said. Didn't always agree with his tone.

Steve Alessi:
Right.

Mary Alessi:
But he had his calling.

Steve Alessi:
Well, he would speak from a truth perspective.

Mary Alessi:
Yes.

Steve Alessi:
And when he would bring truth to a confused individual that was hearing the false, it had to become argumentative. Yeah.

Mary Alessi:
And more aggressive.

Steve Alessi:
And truth always prevails.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah. Now it's true.

Steve Alessi:
We're talking about truth, not someone's perception of truth. Right. Now everybody has. Well, this is what I believe.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
Well, just because you believe it doesn't make it true. There's truth, like there's laws and there's people's interpretation of truth and interpretation of the laws.

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
The reason you have defense attorneys is because they're looking for a way to get you free from breaking the law.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
So they're looking for technicalities or they're looking for someone who has been misjudged by the law. But the law is the law, just like truth is the truth. That's why when you put your hand in a Bible in a courtroom, they say, you know, you're going to speak the truth, nothing but the truth, so help you God?

Mary Alessi:
That's right.

Steve Alessi:
Because what happens is, is the moment you break the law of truth, then there is a consequence to it. So this young man went out there speaking truth, and what he was ultimately killed for, murdered for, was because he spoke truth Right to people. And if you have been in sports over the years, especially a young athlete that had to get into a sport that's pretty aggressive. Mine was football. If I was doing something wrong that would hurt the team, the coach would come to me and try to correct me, but he never did. So in a way that I Liked. Right. He didn't talk to me like my mom talked to me.

Steve Alessi:
He talked to me like a coach. He'd get up in my face. He'd use curse words, strong language, even get aggressive. He'd grab me by the face mask. Face, face mask. Show me what I was doing wrong, point me in the right direction. Okay. He was on me, and he wasn't on me just once.

Steve Alessi:
He had on me. Get on me four or five, six, ten times until I finally got it right.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
What he was showing me was if you're going to be in this world of sports and football.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
That will have. Your success is going to depend on everyone on the team's ability to do it the right way, the way of truth in sports, then you need to do it this particular way. If you don't want to do it, then get out of the game. Yeah. Don't waste my time.

Mary Alessi:
That's right.

Steve Alessi:
Because in sports, this is how you have to operate in order to win. It's the same in life. It's not your values, it's not your understanding of truth. It's not your understanding of throwing the ball, your understanding of catching and running. It's the way the sport is played. This is how you do it. Do it this way or don't do it at all. It's the same with life.

Steve Alessi:
There is a way that seemeth right unto man, but he's wrong.

Mary Alessi:
That's right.

Steve Alessi:
Truth comes from a higher power, which is God. He established these laws and principles before the very foundation of the world. And when Jesus would have spoken, God in the moment at creation would have spoke, there is light, let there be light. Light turned on. Light was created because the author of truth spoke light into existence. Light was dark. It didn't know there was such a thing. Light was birthed at the very words that were spoken by the Creator.

Steve Alessi:
So those words are spoken which become truth life principles that you have to abide by. Now, the moment you start tinkering with it and changing it, then now you're listening to something that is anti truth.

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
So you needed a voice like a Charlie Kirk to go into campuses and sometimes be very aggressive because it shows you how wrong people are. Were.

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
And when truth comes on the scene.

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
Truth can be violent. Sometimes truth can be not violent in the sense that it hurts people.

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
It can be aggressive to somebody's belief system which rocks their world a little bit because they've just learned, oh, my God, I've been believing a lie.

Mary Alessi:
Right. Yeah. Well. And let's think about some of the people that would take those microphones to ask him questions if they were chaotic in their own right most of the time. They've never ever dealt with discipline from family members. They've never dealt with truth from a mom or dad because they're in the mess they're in because there were no one set boundaries for them. So now they step up to the mic and they're confused about their gender or they're confused about their position in life. And to hear truth that aggressively is so off putting, it's offensive to them.

Mary Alessi:
Why? Because they're not used to it. So it's like taking a young man that's been overly mothered and saying, get out on the football field or let's get you in the army. And mom never disciplined and mom never corrected, and he was just her precious. And now he's going to get into a world where every little thing's going to be offensive to him because that's all he's used to. So what we were seeing was, to me, what's playing out is this next generation. If we're not careful, we're just handing them over to a very undisciplined mind. It is called chaos. There's no absolute truth.

Mary Alessi:
It's whatever you feel like in the moment. It's like whatever you want to feel. Whether it's a lie or whether it's true, whether it's temporary or whether it's permanent. Just believe the lie. But here's the dangerous part. Don't test that lie. Don't question that lie. Don't push back against that lie.

Mary Alessi:
Just accept it, absorb it. I watched a documentary years ago, years ago, called the Merchant of Doubt. And it was something. You've heard me quote it many times. It stuck with me so deeply because you see it play out how doubt can destabilize a person, a family, an organization and a society. Just stay in doubt. Is it? I don't know. Maybe it is.

Mary Alessi:
Oh, but I don't know. You talk about creating anxiety in people. Just stay in doubt. No. What brings you a sense of confidence and security, what stabilizes you, what gives you foundation to stand on, is that you know that you know that you know that is true and that is a lie. And the enemy, the enemy of enemies, the devil, he is the merchant of doubt. That's what he sells, that's what he peddles. And you don't have to be a Christian for the enemy to come in and sell doubt.

Mary Alessi:
What he's getting glory from right now is constantly dripping thoughts of doubt to people, even to Christians. And we can't even identify where the enemy is. We don't even know where he is anymore. Yeah, because we're pointing fingers at each other. We're pointing fingers at political people, political opponents, whereas believers. We don't have opponents. What. What's an opponent? So that's where for you and me, if we're going to talk about moving into.

Mary Alessi:
What should pastors be saying from the platform? You know, it rubs me raw because my first reaction when this happened was in my mind, we got to say something. But what are we going to say? What. What are. Honestly, what are we supposed to say? Well, you have people going, well, you need to tell them that freedom of speech is. Is on the line here. Okay? Freedom of speech is on the line. We knew that before Charlie Kirk was assassinated. We.

Mary Alessi:
We know. We know that. So what? We need to share our faith because it's going to be taken from us. You're right. But shouldn't we have known that before Charlie Kirk got his message? Why. Why are we all in this reaction mode? We've got a long way to go in this. We've got a lot of people to help heal, and it's got to start with us. We've got to get what we believe in a place where we're not in doubt anymore, where we are confident about what we believe, where we're not grieving the loss of something, that we're in a place or in our grief because we're shocked, but it wasn't our guy.

Mary Alessi:
We're in hate. You know, to me, that's just. That is a reaction of grief because we saw it. When George Floyd died, there were people. When we didn't even give people time enough to process what we had seen happen, to even know what we believed. And it's the same thing again. We don't. We're not human enough to care for people, to let them just have a moment of humanity processing that we just saw someone die right before our very eyes.

Mary Alessi:
It's been two weeks and we're yelling at pastors. Say something. It happened before.

Steve Alessi:
Right?

Mary Alessi:
Like, can we have a minute here? Can just. Just a minute.

Steve Alessi:
Well, just take the example of Jesus in the Bible, if we can. Mary and Martha are so upset that their brother Lazarus had died.

Mary Alessi:
Yes.

Steve Alessi:
And Jesus was late to the party.

Mary Alessi:
That's right. Wow.

Steve Alessi:
You. You. I want to be sensitive how I say this, but the crowd doesn't dictate what the leader is supposed to say. The body doesn't tell the head how to turn, what to turn and look at the head leads the body.

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
Anybody who got up so quick without processing everything first to me, I just question what they would say. I mean, I was just texting a brother of mine who sent me something about the murdered and the martyred.

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
That as he originally put it out, and I said, hey, I wanted to share it on a podcast. And he said, do so. But I'm also, I'm also editing it because after I heard this, after I've seen that now my, my feelings, my thoughts are different. So. That's right, you. To see a man murdered before our very eyes. I couldn't say anything yet. I personally was like, let me reserve until I see the full picture of knowing how we got to lead our people through this.

Steve Alessi:
Because they were not hearing me anyway. They were listening to so many other voices. People are just so caught up in what's the next voice next to what's the next voice. And usually the last one voice you hear is what has the biggest impact. So let the air clear for a minute.

Mary Alessi:
Yes.

Steve Alessi:
Even this podcast where people may listen to and think, man, you guys are late. You should have been on right away saying something, something.

Mary Alessi:
We.

Steve Alessi:
No, no. Now that, now that the air is kind of passed a little bit, we get a little clearing here. The dust is settled a little bit. Now we can help process what to think and feel. I do know this. God is still on the throne.

Mary Alessi:
He is.

Steve Alessi:
Even after losing such a precious man. The organization that he led seems to be more empowered today than it was when he was alive. Yes, people are stepping into destiny, their purpose for being alive. And sometimes it takes the strong man being. Stepping aside so that people then can, can move in and move up and in his death, there just may be more good at the end of this that we're going to see play out. I believe all things work together for the good. Even in death, there's life. We know that.

Steve Alessi:
Not to compare and say he was the Christ. No, but we know after the death of Christ, our greatest days as the church has been experienced, even Jesus says more, you'll do more greater things than I've even done after I leave. That's right, because of my life here on the earth. So there's greater days ahead. So my immediately process, my immediate process was first off, we were at the last night of a big event where we were going to bless some people, lay hands on them and, and call them up to be ministers in our church. I Didn't want to steal that moment from them. Our church is 28 years. We have to celebrate the goodness of God in our 28 years.

Steve Alessi:
Didn't want to steal from that. And then I personally needed some headspace and heart space to process. What's America doing? Where are we at? Why would hate be so dark that a kid that was on nobody's radar can somehow take a hunting rifle.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
And shoot at 200 yards, which is not a difficult thing to do.

Mary Alessi:
No.

Steve Alessi:
And take out a man in a second. He was dead before more or less his body hit the ground.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
How could hate go that far?

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
And. And I want to. I want to know in my heart of hearts who, as a pastor, babe, you and I are called to look at the good of man.

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
And when I look at our congregation, I see the good in man. Right. I prepare messages for the good of man. It's hard for me to look at what would be the worst case scenario of man. And this. You don't get any worse than this.

Mary Alessi:
No.

Steve Alessi:
That you would take out a. A good man, a father, a husband, the leader of movement. That's really helping campuses find their equilibrium, their balance, after being so persuaded to believe lies. This guy was out there. How could you. How could hate. How could evil. And one human being who supposedly was raised in a pretty good home.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
How could that guy go through all.

Mary Alessi:
Of that and be so disturbed?

Steve Alessi:
I. That's such hate. So, yeah, I was kind of waiting. What do I say about all of that? And, you know, I go back to the way we've had to navigate leading our business through the many years. Four years into our church, nine, eleven occurred. Young pastor. People were saying then what they're saying now. This is the church's greatest day.

Steve Alessi:
People are going to church more today than ever.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah. They're going to get saved and it's going to be revival.

Steve Alessi:
And people did.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
People ran to church. But after the shock and awe of it wore off, some people went back to their old ways.

Mary Alessi:
Well, there's been a lot of people that have been born since 911 that weren't impacted by it. New generations.

Steve Alessi:
Well, you can go back and you'll see it time and time again. I mean, what did America do when JFK was assassinated? What did they do when, on the heels of that, MLK was assassinated?

Mary Alessi:
Yes. Right away.

Steve Alessi:
The hate that caused all of that, whatever the deal, somebody still had to pull the trigger.

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
And whatever allowed that to happen, that shows you the darkest parts of humanity. Right. It was Set up by this organization, that organization, this people, whatever the hate that stirred that up is the same hate now in 2025 that allowed a kid to pull the trigger or whoever, take out a man's life, which is.

Mary Alessi:
The poison we can't touch. We can't let that get in our heart because it's so destructive that again, it just creates pure chaos in people. And again, it's like in the beginning when we said, pick your fear. What's your fear? There's so many fears we could pick of. What does this all mean now? Well, the truth is we do have to seek peace and pursue it at all costs because we think in our emotion and our anger and in our self righteousness that this is wrong and hate can't win and we've got to stand up against it. Well, the truth is that doesn't necessarily bring the end result. We think it will. That's why wisdom is important.

Mary Alessi:
Taking a deep breath, processing before you respond. Especially people with microphones. And I think that's who I mean when I say that, being very careful how quickly you respond and who you're calling out. Because it's a tumultuous time. We're all still very emotional on everybody in the nation and in the world. They're all emotional. Everyone seems to be on the edge of their seat. Who's gonna make the first move? And that's dangerous.

Mary Alessi:
It certainly doesn't bring peace in your life. And we're just trying to pay our bills over here.

Steve Alessi:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi:
And get through life and get our kids married. And what the enemy wants is for us to not enjoy any of the good things of this life and create such a disruption that that's all we think about. That's all we're focused on. That's all we're worried about. It goes back to fear. With COVID we were more concerned about fear than we were because we knew Covid would pass.

Steve Alessi:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi:
This too shall pass.

Steve Alessi:
Well, you ask, you brought up the point about, you know, pastors being forced to say something from the pulpit. Here's the thing. If you're sitting in the crowd, you're waiting for your pastor to say something, what are you going to do after he says it? Are you going to go home and agree with it in front of your kids, or you're going to turn around and cut it all up and have, you know, chopped pasta for lunch?

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
All right. Do you really agree with him or are you going to disagree with him? That's right, because he may not understand it here's. What I do know. Every person, especially if you're the head of a household as a parent, grandparent, husband, wife, every one of you have to go out and you have to have a conversation with your family members about this. So go out and have a conversation and, and find what is truth, not your truth. All right.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
Lean in to your Christian heritage.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
If you don't have one, get.

Mary Alessi:
That's right.

Steve Alessi:
Because here's what I think. I know I could be wrong. I don't know everybody who's committed these kind of crazy. These murders. Killings.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
I haven't heard one of them get up and say, hey, I'm a born again Christian.

Mary Alessi:
No.

Steve Alessi:
And I killed so and so.

Mary Alessi:
Or came out of a Christian organization.

Steve Alessi:
My religious beliefs tells me it's okay for me to pull a trigger and kill somebody. Right. I haven't heard anybody do that. I, I don't. And I could be wrong. Maybe they're out there, but I don't think that's the case.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
So if Christian values keep you from doing that, then it should keep you from spewing hate.

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
So you better go and have a conversation with your family. If you're not in church on a regular basis because you don't have a relationship with God.

Mary Alessi:
Yep.

Steve Alessi:
Then figure that one out.

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
Get to know God. Okay. The best place to try to help you do that is a church. We know that because we see things going bad in the world. But our church is doing pretty good.

Mary Alessi:
That's right.

Steve Alessi:
We're very blessed. Got a very healthy church.

Mary Alessi:
That's right.

Steve Alessi:
Healthy people. People. It's the, the, the umbrella of safety is found in the local church. And so you got to get there to help you in your relationship with God to connect with good, valued, shared morals, people that share your same value. And have this conversation. Let your kids know what is truth, Real truth. You're required as a parent to raise and train up a child in the way they should go so when they get old, they won't depart from it. Right.

Steve Alessi:
You're required to do that. So it's not so much what's being said in the pulpit.

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
What are you saying in your home?

Mary Alessi:
That's it.

Steve Alessi:
What are you helping your kids who's maybe pretty fearful about stuff right now.

Mary Alessi:
That's right.

Steve Alessi:
How will you help them navigate through the minefield of fear? What if they are buying into a confused woke agenda that quite now, quite right now is being broken? It's woke is broke.

Mary Alessi:
It's proven.

Steve Alessi:
If your kids buying into that still. What are you helping them navigate out of that to help them see that may have been a phase, but that's not reality. That's not real truth. What are you helping them do and think? Because that's on you.

Mary Alessi:
That's right.

Steve Alessi:
The pulpit can only do so much. What's happening in the home.

Mary Alessi:
You, you, you hear. They hear from you or me or, or PC here for 45 minutes once a week unless they listen to our podcast. That's it. That's all we get is like what Charlie Kirk says. I get three hours. You get four years. We get 45 minutes a week. You get a lifetime.

Mary Alessi:
What are you doing with your voice? What are you teaching your children?

Steve Alessi:
Yeah. Since.

Mary Alessi:
What are you sharing it on the job?

Steve Alessi:
When do the. Does the kid lead the household?

Mary Alessi:
That's right.

Steve Alessi:
Since when did this teenager get to lead the household?

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
Remember mom and dad? Most likely you're paying for their phone and the stuff they're looking at on their phone.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah. You could end it.

Steve Alessi:
That's leading them in the wrong direction. Yeah. You can adjust and change that. That's on you. You're putting the money out. They, they need to be. You need to protect them there and wait, don't let me get started on the gaming.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
That so desensitizes young men and women today.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah, it does.

Steve Alessi:
That they can look at a murder of Charlie Kirk and it not phase them one bit. It doesn't phase them because they've seen it millions of times. And their little games that they play. Yeah, all these shoot them up games, you know. No, no, no. From what I've heard from the guys who have seen it, most of their teenagers have shown them.

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
The murder. Like, are you kidding? I don't want that in my brain. I see it on TV as it is, you know, but that's tv and I don't want to see that. I don't. That's human being. So help your kids with that. Don't wait for the church, the pastor to say something. You figure out truth.

Steve Alessi:
The truth, and you say something.

Mary Alessi:
And I, I, we. We've said this since we were little kids. Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me. And we're living in a time where we're being told that words will keep. Your words will get you killed. And that it went from having debates and arguments amongst the next generation like Charlie Kirk and all the others to was a fun argument. And they were getting into it. They were getting all riled up.

Mary Alessi:
And once this took place. It brought shockwaves of this is real. This is not a game. This is real. And more than ever, the next generation needs to wake up to what is real. This isn't a video game. This is real. Parents need to wake up.

Mary Alessi:
And where they have allowed emotions or feelings or the woke thought doctrine to just be dormant. Oh, it's a phase. Oh, it's a phase. No, no, this is real. Parents need to know what they believe. They need to stand up for what they believe and stop deferring their authority in their home to whatever mouthpiece is speaking, whether it's the pastor or whether it's a loud voice in their lives. They need to start taking ownership of their own homes and bringing order from chaos at home. Start there.

Mary Alessi:
Because if that had happened with this young man, we would not be sitting here having this conversation.

Steve Alessi:
Yeah, yeah. And if you didn't like what he said, you know, there's a principle in the Bible that helps you with that. Scripture says if somebody slaps you on one side of the cheek, don't hit him back, turn the other cheek. Hey, it's okay that you can get your feelings and feathers ruffled, ruffled, your feelings all turned upside down over what somebody is saying. But that does not give you right to lash back out at them. It just doesn't. So, you know, go to your Bible. You need to know principles.

Steve Alessi:
They're good value principles. But right now, I mean, people in the crazy world, they don't like what a police officer says, they're going to go after him.

Mary Alessi:
Right?

Steve Alessi:
Man, he's a representative of the law. You don't have that right. Right. Respect it. If you're a Christian operating in biblical principles, then, you know, go back and look at even the good Ten Commandments. If you don't know much about your Bible, go to the Ten Commandments. Thou shalt not murder.

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
It doesn't matter what they're saying to you. You don't have that right to take a person's life. You don't have that right to slander a person. You don't have that right to always argue. You don't have to just because you think it doesn't make it right.

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
So, yeah, some of our emotions have settled down a little bit. It allows us to clear the air and just go back to basic life principles. And it's sad that a man had to lose his life over it. But I think, Mary, our. Our greatest days are still ahead of us.

Mary Alessi:
I agree. I think so, too. We can put our trust in the Lord. And even though things are changing, nothing's changed. God is still in control. He is today. He was yesterday and he will be tomorrow. That's where we put our confidence.

Mary Alessi:
That's where we find our peace. That's where we pull away from the chaos. And that's what we build our life on. No matter how crazy the world gets and it changes and things change and they seems like bananas is happening all over the world, God is still a firm foundation. You can build your life on.

Steve Alessi:
Yeah. And you and I can, you know, have a little different approach to processing and dealing with all of this. But here's something in our family that I'm grateful that we are able to embrace, and that is that when it's all said and done, we always come to the place of agreement.

Mary Alessi:
Absolutely. Always.

Steve Alessi:
Spirit of agreement.

Mary Alessi:
Always.

Steve Alessi:
There's no strife in our home, no strife in our marriage.

Mary Alessi:
No, no, no, no.

Steve Alessi:
And that's because we have the same spirit.

Mary Alessi:
That's right.

Steve Alessi:
And it's not just us. It's our adult kids as well.

Mary Alessi:
Yes.

Steve Alessi:
We don't have this argument going on that we have different differing opinions. Opinions on this stuff. I'm amazed at how on the same page, we always are. I even told you I didn't talk to Christopher about this. I didn't talk to Stephanie about it. But man, when they came into my office, I was just so amazed at how their viewpoint and opinions lined itself up with mine.

Mary Alessi:
That's right.

Steve Alessi:
And we didn't even have to talk about it.

Mary Alessi:
No.

Steve Alessi:
A week later, all this comes up because I was rushed out of the house for two weeks almost to go to camp, come back home and see that, my gosh, we're all on the same page. That's what you said. And when I sent a text to the family to say, hey, guys, let's be careful what we say. Let's not say too much tonight. Let's focus on this last night of our revive. Everybody in the family was in agreement with it.

Mary Alessi:
You got it.

Steve Alessi:
So that's important.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
May your family be in agreement on matters like this.

Mary Alessi:
That's the most important.

Steve Alessi:
The same spirit.

Mary Alessi:
That's right.

Steve Alessi:
It's going to help us through it all together. All right, well, listen, we hope today you were encouraged, maybe even inspired by something that was said. So thank you for joining us for another episode of the Family Business with Steve and Mary Alessi. Thanks for watching.

Mary Alessi:
Thanks so much for joining the Family Business today. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to follow or subscribe. Share with a friend and leave us a review. We appreciate your support and can't wait to have you join us next time, because family is everybody's business.