From Crisis to Champion! Hockey, Heart Attacks, and Turning Trauma into Triumph

Mary Alessi [00:00:00]:
It always makes me question my own ability to go through something like that. And I just look at them with this sense of awe, of wow. You talk about mental toughness when you're young and you're going through a battle for your life.

Steve Alessi [00:00:24]:
Hello and welcome to another episode of the Family Business with the Alessies, where family is everybody's business. We are in the middle of our summer long play for all of you who are on the road. You're traveling, you need some time just to kind of enjoy something. And some advertising. Not advertising, come on, some programming that is filling up some of your travel space. This is what our summer long play is all about. Now, if you're enjoying what you're hearing, we want to keep you updated. So make sure you are getting text updates and you can do that by texting family 230-252-4-0800.

Steve Alessi [00:01:09]:
We've got over 5,500 YouTube subscribers. So if you're enjoying what you're hearing, like it and pass it on. Share it and definitely subscribe. We're having a great time in the podcast booth because here's we. We talk about things we don't always get to talk about on Sunday. And I'm here today with PC, my son, Bubba. Bubs. Christopher.

Steve Alessi [00:01:36]:
Chris. How you doing, son?

Chris Alessi [00:01:39]:
I'm very good.

Steve Alessi [00:01:40]:
All right, we're champs today.

Chris Alessi [00:01:41]:
Feeling good, feeling good, feeling good.

Steve Alessi [00:01:43]:
All right. Since you, you are definitely in the garb.

Chris Alessi [00:01:49]:
Yes.

Steve Alessi [00:01:49]:
You're. Why don't you tell us why, why you're wearing that kind of garb.

Chris Alessi [00:01:52]:
Well, just so everybody knows right now, it is June 18th on the day of filming, which means after our Florida Panthers won back to back championships.

Steve Alessi [00:02:01]:
Yep.

Chris Alessi [00:02:02]:
You'll appreciate this. This team has officially, outside of the undefeated part, done exactly what the 1970 dolphins did. Lost in 71 in 71, 1 in 72.

Steve Alessi [00:02:12]:
Very cool.

Chris Alessi [00:02:13]:
Or I think lost 71, 172, 173. And we did the same. We lost three years ago, won last year, won this year. It's pretty cool. So we're champs and you got me this for Father's Day.

Steve Alessi [00:02:23]:
Yep.

Chris Alessi [00:02:24]:
Today's also an important day, though.

Steve Alessi [00:02:26]:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi [00:02:27]:
As you were walking into the studio, John, who's in the back, turned and said, happy birthday, Pastor Steve.

Steve Alessi [00:02:33]:
Yep. And this is the only time we like to actually date our programming because we don't usually do so. But it's June 18th and it was 18 years ago that I had the heart attack.

Chris Alessi [00:02:47]:
Yep. And so it's a new birthday for you.

Steve Alessi [00:02:49]:
It's A new birthday every. I've got three in my life. I've got my natural birth. I got my spiritual birth, and then I got my rebirth with that after the heart attack. But, you know, we're gonna kind of go through some of those things that just, you know, people get hit in life with good things and not so good things. You're celebrating a very good thing. When you wear that jersey for the Florida Panthers, it says champion.

Chris Alessi [00:03:15]:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi [00:03:16]:
And so that. That's a good, good deal. You know, I mean, not too many teams. I don't know how many hockey teams. I think they're in the 30s or 40s, something like that, but two end up playing out of that big number for this championship. And we did have a Canadian team that came down and played against the Florida team.

Chris Alessi [00:03:38]:
Florida team won.

Steve Alessi [00:03:39]:
We have zero snow in South Florida, but a lot of sun. And there in Toronto, they have no.

Chris Alessi [00:03:52]:
Sun and tons of ice.

Steve Alessi [00:03:53]:
They have no sun and tons of ice. So, you know, the Canadians and those in the north, they don't like Floridians.

Chris Alessi [00:04:00]:
No, they don't.

Steve Alessi [00:04:01]:
What do we got? We got a team in Tampa.

Chris Alessi [00:04:04]:
Yeah. And they went to the three before we did.

Steve Alessi [00:04:07]:
Yeah. And then we have the Florida Panthers. So they don't like these Florida teams because there is no.

Chris Alessi [00:04:18]:
But if you're Canadian, you know, and you're watching, it's important to know we're not very good at football down here, so it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter.

Steve Alessi [00:04:24]:
But, you know, I think either are they.

Chris Alessi [00:04:27]:
Neither are they. Yeah. But it's okay.

Steve Alessi [00:04:28]:
They're not expected to be the Edmonton Oilers.

Chris Alessi [00:04:31]:
Yeah. You know, dad, it was actually in this chair over the last kind of six weeks that I have been being the voice behind your book 42, as we've been getting ready for the audiobook to get out there. And so, you know, the reason that we want to talk about it on your birthday, your new birthday, which we don't actually celebrate, but the reason to kind of bring it up and even talk about it a little bit today was because, you know, it used to be maybe the first 10 years where the whole family would get really, really weary of this day because it brought back so much of the trauma of it. Even when I was reading it, there were moments I just had to stop because, you know, when you're going through the trauma when you're young, you don't really know what's going on. Now that I'm older, I've got my own son reading some of those things again. Was weird. So we. The first kind of 10 years coming to this day was hard, but then all of a sudden, it, like, starts to shift, and all of a sudden, this day makes you so thankful.

Steve Alessi [00:05:31]:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi [00:05:32]:
Because you see it like a birthday. We didn't see it like that the first. You know, so it's important to recognize, like, even this championship. Nobody expected the Florida Panthers would be this good. And I just think when someone looks at their future, whether they're in the middle of something terrible right now or they're still feeling the pain of the recent terrible thing, I think the Panthers are a sign that there's unexpected good in your future.

Steve Alessi [00:06:04]:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi [00:06:05]:
There's a whole realm that you're totally underestimating that will one day bring you great joy. I was never a hockey fan. I think I pulled more of my beard out over the last eight weeks watching the Stanley cup playoffs because I love the sport now. It's a total area of unexpected joy. And so that's what this day has actually turned into, a day where there's unexpected joy, at least for us as the family. Because, man, every time I drive by that hospital over in Hutchinson island, it's like, that used to be a dark place. Now I'm like, man, thank. Thank God for the events that took place in that hospital.

Chris Alessi [00:06:48]:
So, you know, you're driving along, you know, you're getting ready for vacation. Even your vacation right now is probably an unexpected joy that during a dark season of your life, you didn't see coming. So it's just good to be thinking my future is full of unexpected joy.

Steve Alessi [00:07:05]:
Yeah. Even after something that is challenging and heartbreaking and a step back and definitely heartbreaking. We did write the book, and we did it. We call it 42, titled. It says, a guide to Finishing. Well, when you were almost finished back in our season three, I believe it is, right, Alan. Season three, we hit it a little bit more in depth, and it was more, you know, kind of moving, because anytime we do get into the deep story of. Can definitely touch us and our emotions.

Steve Alessi [00:07:41]:
And anybody who reads it, especially on the front end of it, they all tell me, takes them back to their own challenge, you know, so it is moving. But 42. The reason it's called 42 is because it was 42 minutes that when I started having the heart attack and I knew that I was in trouble, I took off my shirt, my glasses, and told mary immediately called 911. We heard the sirens going on. When those men came walking in, those paramedics, five of them to Help me. At that point, I was still on my feet. They said, hey, you know what's going on? I told them, I got this pain. They said, hey, have you taken any of this? Said, no.

Steve Alessi [00:08:16]:
And they said, chew on this baby aspirin. They give me that baby aspirin. And that from that point on, for the next 42 minutes, the men worked on me to stabilize my heart. Now, my heart never stopped, but it was at that what they call a quivering stage, which means the heart's on the verge of stopping. They hit me seven times with the paddle because they could not get the heart back in rhythm. So these men worked hard. 42 minutes, chest compressions, everything that you see taking place. I don't know if anybody has watched Bad Boys 3.

Steve Alessi [00:08:51]:
I think it is here in Miami. Bad Boys 3. It starts with, gosh, Will Smith and who?

Chris Alessi [00:08:59]:
Martin Lawrence.

Steve Alessi [00:09:00]:
Martin Lawrence. Martin Lawrence is having a heart attack. Yes.

Chris Alessi [00:09:05]:
I haven't seen the movie yet.

Steve Alessi [00:09:06]:
And at the beginning, and I'm like. Mary says, let's watch it. So we're watching it last week, and I'm like, there it is again. I hate those images. They're popping them with those paddles and all that kind of stuff, but that's what they did. It's a lot of work. 42 minutes. It's like a major workout.

Steve Alessi [00:09:25]:
Okay. These guys were sweating profusely. I was sweating profusely. I'm coming in and out. I wanted to sleep. All of that for 42 minutes. So the book is 42 to chronicle. Really, what was symbolic and the symbol of all of those 42 minutes is this.

Steve Alessi [00:09:44]:
That if I was done, if God was done with me, if I had run my course, if I finished my assignment here on Earth, then, all right, take me home, it'd be over. People die all the time. Some before their time.

Chris Alessi [00:10:03]:
Some guy, the same day that you passed early in the morning, he passed.

Steve Alessi [00:10:07]:
They passed. The same men were working on them, and they lost them. So people die all the time. Children die. And you're like, how could this happen? We see death right now occurring because of war. What's happening in Russia and Ukraine, what's happening to Israel right now in Iran, People die. It's terrible. It's tragic.

Steve Alessi [00:10:24]:
It's. But it's part of life. So the fact that, yeah, I had this deal, 42 minutes. These men worked. I didn't die. So what does that mean? Evidently, if it couldn't kill me, it meant that there's still work for me to do. The assignment's not over. And this then becomes a memorial, a jersey to remind me and others of what this event could have been and what happened.

Steve Alessi [00:10:54]:
And yes, thank God my book is symbolic of my championship. I was able to overcome, fight through that. And when it looked like I should have been down and out and lost, no, thankfully, we came back. And with the goodness of God and some great family members, my wife, you, kids, the church, my friends, my family, we were able to come back. And all these years later, 18 years later, we're standing. Life is better than ever.

Chris Alessi [00:11:25]:
Better than ever.

Steve Alessi [00:11:26]:
So who knows? I know life can get hard for people, but, hey, if you're alive, if the cancer didn't get you, you know what I'm saying, if the divorce didn't knock you out, if that bankruptcy didn't bury you, then there's. There's room and time for you to be able to come back and, and make a comeback. And all those years later, Give it time. You're going to be raising your hands again in victory.

Chris Alessi [00:11:52]:
Well, the Panthers actually were the eighth seed this year. They started every single series on the road. That means of all the playoff teams, they were the worst, and they were champions. Last year, they were the worst going into the playoffs. But, you know, they always say it. It's like, it's really not about what happened yesterday. It's about the team that's in front of you. Can you go beat them? And so if.

Chris Alessi [00:12:13]:
If there are people that have experienced a challenge or are going through a challenge right now, you know, it really doesn't matter what has happened up to this point. The important thing is beating the opponent in front of you, going and overcoming. One of my favorite parts of your book is the punch you didn't see coming. And, you know, that actually is kind of perfectly encapsulates anxiety. People trying to prepare for the punch that they don't see coming. They're trying to see that punch coming. But, you know, one of the best ways to combat anxiety is to recognize logically, if there's a way bad things can happen to me that I didn't expect, that logically tells me there are good things that will come into my life that I'm not expecting. It literally means, if I don't know tomorrow, and that scares me, I can also say, I don't know tomorrow.

Chris Alessi [00:13:14]:
And that excites me because anything can happen. Hialeah can be celebrating at midnight a hockey championship. Nobody would have ever thought five years ago that with a soccer stadium being built, our soccer team's not doing great, but our Hockey team is killing.

Steve Alessi [00:13:35]:
Baseball team hasn't been doing the great.

Chris Alessi [00:13:38]:
It just shows that there's. There. You can't possibly think all the good is in my past, because if there's a potential for bad in your future, there's a potential for good, too.

Steve Alessi [00:13:50]:
Yeah. You know, you look like a hockey player right now.

Chris Alessi [00:13:53]:
So it's the hair.

Steve Alessi [00:13:54]:
It's the hair and the facial beard. Only thing that's different between you and them are tiny teeth. Ears are actually real. Boy, those hockey players, they take a beating.

Chris Alessi [00:14:05]:
Well, Kachuk had had a muscle torn off, a ligament torn off the bone the whole time.

Steve Alessi [00:14:10]:
Holy moly.

Chris Alessi [00:14:11]:
And yet it's phenomenal.

Steve Alessi [00:14:12]:
And yet they come out and they win. Chris. That is a part of life. Look, we're in the middle of this, this war. People get nervous. It can't get any worse. You know, it's the end of the world as we know it. And people that are in, you know, Christianity get ready.

Chris Alessi [00:14:30]:
It's, you know, end times.

Steve Alessi [00:14:31]:
The end times. The rapture is coming and all those things, man, whatever it looks like, politically speaking, people are like, oh, my gosh, our party didn't win. It's terrible. You know, we got this, this anti Trump, the anti king march that's going on across. We've got riots that are happening in LA and other major cities and the immigration crisis. It's horrible. Come on, you're going to get shipped back to your country. What's going on in our country? Look at financially, you know, the tariffs were putting such a stress strain on everybody's finances.

Steve Alessi [00:15:07]:
It's not going to get any better. And yet we still wake up every day and we go to work. What happens so far away in life doesn't always touch us where we live. Guess what? Gas prices are down in Miami. Tariffs were going to blow us all out of the water. Gas prices are down. We're going to go on vacations this summer. People are already gone.

Steve Alessi [00:15:33]:
The economy is so bad, but people are already gone on vacation, taking time away. Yes, some things happening around the world are bad, but, but, you know, we're still able to move on in life.

Chris Alessi [00:15:47]:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi [00:15:47]:
And, and I think that's, that's the kind of mindset we need to adopt. We had friends just went on a birthday trip celebrating. One of our dear friends that we know. Yeah, they have had a great run at life. 70 years of age, you wouldn't know it. She looks great. She's. She, she has retired.

Steve Alessi [00:16:18]:
So her family, 30, like 35 of them got together to celebrate and they went out to Seattle to spend a couple days before they then jumped on an Alaskan cruise.

Chris Alessi [00:16:31]:
She's a beautiful girl.

Steve Alessi [00:16:31]:
It's beautiful. They went to Mount Rainier, and they first were just enjoying the mountain. On the way down, one of the members of their family died instantly. It's actually. It's pretty amazing that there wasn't more carnage. Carnage in this, because he was driving the car when he just dropped dead. And they're not sure what happened and so on, but an aneurysm possibly pulls to the side of the road. His daughter is a paramedic.

Steve Alessi [00:17:07]:
She's in the backseat, jumps out, tries to revive him. Can't. Well, we hear about it the next morning, and the family is dealing with, what do we do next? Because all the family members are coming in to Seattle. They're going to go on this cruise together to celebrate. Do they cancel it all, or do they go forward? And, you know, the family made a decision to go on with the cruise, and I thought it was a smart decision. I know some people are like, are you kidding? How can you do that? Where's the fun in it? You're going to be consumed with the death of this individual. And you're right, there's that aspect of it that had to be processed and overcome. But the family said, in the midst of this, what would he want? And he happened to be the kind of person that loved going to the mountains.

Steve Alessi [00:18:01]:
He always told his family, when I die, I want to be cremated, and I want you to throw my ashes in a mountain. I just want you to release them while you're in the mountains, because that's my peaceful place. That's my happy place. Well, the guy just had his happy place. He just enjoyed the time. He actually told family he, as he was driving, this is, like, one of the happiest days of my life. And he had had some health complications early on, and it was sad that he had to go through all of that, but he's like, this is one of the happiest days of my life. So if you gotta die, why not die on the mountain of being happy? It was the happiest day of my life.

Steve Alessi [00:18:42]:
Meaning, life's not gonna get any better. Now I got to come down from this mountain and go back to dealing with some of the stuff that my health issues are causing me and so on and so forth. So they go up and they choose, let's go on the cruise. Anyway, one of the family members went on the cruise early. Before they all got there, they found a Room that they were able to put aside so that all the family, when they wanted to, at the end of the day, they wanted to talk about them. They can come together in that family, in that room, and they can do so. Of course the trip is going to be different. There's no way you can get on that cruise to go celebrate a 70th anniversary and a retirement, and they'll then think, oh, my gosh, but we.

Steve Alessi [00:19:24]:
Come on, we lost somebody. There's no way you're going to be that celebratory. But. And this is what I think is so beautiful. You made the best of a bad situation. Yeah. That is a great analogy about our life, because if you do that enough, you make the best. Try your best.

Steve Alessi [00:19:46]:
Even in the middle of something that's so bad, you just had a bad argument with a family member, and the two of you aren't talking to each other. Well, what's the best situation you could do? Can you at least text each other? Can you. Can you try to maybe just let the situation exhale and then think about, how do we get back on the same page? How does things work? How can you make the best of a bad situation for us as a family? We just. What was the option? To quit? We couldn't quit. We had a church to run. We had a family that we were growing 18 years ago. How old were you?

Chris Alessi [00:20:23]:
I was 15.

Steve Alessi [00:20:24]:
Fifteen. That meant Stephanie would have been, what, 11? She and Lauren.

Chris Alessi [00:20:29]:
Lauren is nine. Gabby's seven.

Steve Alessi [00:20:31]:
Yeah. We had no time to quit. We had to make the best of a bad situation. And gratefully, thankfully, we did. And 18 years later, look what has been birthed. Crazy. So, yeah, life's bad, but, man, we got to make the best of it.

Chris Alessi [00:20:50]:
And you and mom actually did that because none of us kids realized what was going on until we were substantially older. Yeah. So even looking at it, like, oh, you know how it's gonna affect my kids. Like, we've used this story here before, but like. And you even put it in the book. But like, there's a night that our cars are broken into, and you just made us laugh after that. That should have been a scary night. It's not.

Chris Alessi [00:21:14]:
It's a funny one now. We laugh at that now.

Steve Alessi [00:21:17]:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi [00:21:17]:
And it's because of that. So. You know, dad, I've been watching the show with Rochelle.

Steve Alessi [00:21:21]:
It's so funny.

Chris Alessi [00:21:22]:
I've been watching the show with Rochelle. It's called man on the Inside with Ted Danson. Oh, no, it's great.

Steve Alessi [00:21:27]:
Hey, he's great.

Chris Alessi [00:21:28]:
He's great. He's also 77 years old, by the way.

Steve Alessi [00:21:31]:
Y. He's great in that.

Chris Alessi [00:21:33]:
But there's a. There's an episode where, like, the president.

Steve Alessi [00:21:36]:
I can't believe you're watching that show.

Chris Alessi [00:21:38]:
Okay, to be fair, I love the. The writer of the show, and I love Ted Danson because they did the Good Place together, and I loved that show. So if they work together, he wrote the office. He wrote Parks and Rec.

Steve Alessi [00:21:50]:
Say nothing else.

Chris Alessi [00:21:51]:
There you go. But, okay, so to that point, there's like a president of this. The association of the Old People's Home. You know, like, she's hilarious, and the whole time she's crying about security, security, security. We need security to be better. And it's so funny because she. She comes to this, you know, the private investigator that, you know, and she's like, something very valuable has been stolen from my room. So they go into the room and they start talking, and she's like, what was stolen? My coins.

Chris Alessi [00:22:21]:
My gold minted coins. And she's like, so wait, hold on. There's cash on the table right here. You have a bunch of jewelry. But somebody broke in to take these worthless coins. And the lady starts realizing, okay, I'm caught. So she goes, susan, where are the coins? They're in the drawer. It's so funny.

Chris Alessi [00:22:42]:
But the private investigator steps up and goes, susan, you have to stop watching the people on TV that are trying to scare you. Because she's so afraid that someone's gonna break in and steal her stuff. She makes this funny comment. In these untrying times, bullion's the only way to protect my retirement.

Steve Alessi [00:23:00]:
So funny because of all the commercial sheet to see all the commercials.

Chris Alessi [00:23:05]:
And so, you know, it's funny because the joke is that sometimes the elderly might fall for that, but it's not the elderly. It's everybody. We fall for the videos we see on social media. We fall for the lies that we can even feel and hear in our own head when we're going through the hardest of times.

Steve Alessi [00:23:23]:
And.

Chris Alessi [00:23:23]:
And that is that doom and gloom are my only options.

Steve Alessi [00:23:28]:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi [00:23:28]:
And it's kind of like this lady where there's cash on the table.

Steve Alessi [00:23:32]:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi [00:23:33]:
And yet, you know, there's jewelry all over there. And all she's got her mind on are these little crappy coins. And I was reading in Daniel this morning, like, the back half of Daniel's weird. I don't even like it. It's a bunch of, like. It feels like revelation language. And in the middle of all of this Weird. This king and that king and this king and that king, and they're fighting and it's all over, and it's the end of days.

Chris Alessi [00:23:55]:
It just says, but those that know the Lord, their God will stand firm and take action. And it's like, you know what? Like, that's. Well, if you're going through the worst of the worst, you know, God. So stand up, stand firm, take action.

Steve Alessi [00:24:13]:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi [00:24:13]:
And that's what you and mom did. Like, I love when I'm reading the story, you didn't sulk. Like, you really didn't.

Steve Alessi [00:24:22]:
You. You.

Chris Alessi [00:24:23]:
I know you. You say that. For in the book, you say that you didn't dream for a while.

Steve Alessi [00:24:27]:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi [00:24:28]:
But the truth is. And mom, you're in the back there, so you should hear this.

Steve Alessi [00:24:32]:
Well, she's ready. Bring her in.

Chris Alessi [00:24:35]:
But you talk about how you didn't dream for a few years, and then finally you wanted to take the wall down. Your mom will know this, dad, that's always been your personality. He's always been that way, which is nothing. Nothing, nothing. I'm processing it, praying about it, processing it, praying about it. Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing. Take the wall down now.

Mary Alessi [00:24:53]:
No, no, no.

Steve Alessi [00:24:53]:
It happened.

Mary Alessi [00:24:54]:
No, no, no. You're crazy. No, we're never doing that. Don't even say it. It's not happening. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Weren't you.

Mary Alessi [00:25:01]:
Yeah, I know.

Chris Alessi [00:25:02]:
We were like, we shouldn't be doing it. There's 60 people have come in their flip flops, like, why are we doing this? Why are we doing this? Why are we doing this? And I felt like for years, and we were processing it, and then all of a sudden, one weekend, you go, yeah, we're done in two weeks.

Mary Alessi [00:25:14]:
I know.

Chris Alessi [00:25:15]:
And it's just. So I bring that up because even. Even looking back on the most traumatic time where you felt like you weren't dreaming, the reality is that you stood so firm, you took action.

Mary Alessi [00:25:27]:
True.

Chris Alessi [00:25:28]:
You went. You wanted to play golf. You could have sulked around, but you were like, nah, let's go play golf.

Mary Alessi [00:25:32]:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi [00:25:33]:
You looked at a cigar and thought, man, I wish I could have one.

Steve Alessi [00:25:35]:
I mean, you were really.

Chris Alessi [00:25:37]:
You were really living your life, even in the midst of all that. So I just think, you know, with all the stuff you mentioned, like, we just gotta stop believing the lies.

Steve Alessi [00:25:47]:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi [00:25:47]:
Stop being so afraid of the stuff we're watching on tv. You know, yesterday we have friends that work on a sports show. Yesterday, a guy came in saying, this is. This is bad for the Panthers. This is bad. The way They've set themselves up. I know they're winning three to two, but I'm telling you, this team's not gonna win the championship.

Steve Alessi [00:26:08]:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi [00:26:08]:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi [00:26:09]:
You can't believe everything you hear, especially.

Steve Alessi [00:26:13]:
The stories you're telling yourself, Chris.

Chris Alessi [00:26:15]:
Exactly.

Steve Alessi [00:26:15]:
Oh, my gosh. We're. Mary has just come into the booth today.

Mary Alessi [00:26:22]:
I have a lot to say.

Steve Alessi [00:26:23]:
She's got a lot to say.

Mary Alessi [00:26:25]:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi [00:26:25]:
We're talking about how. How as bad as things can be, you know, Chris is wearing his jersey. It's a memorial to the champion. The book is really a jersey in itself to not just the story, but to how we come out on the other side. That as bad as life is, there's still room to keep fighting. Keep your head up, because one day you'll be on the top of that mountain with your hands held high. You know it's true. So what is it that you want to be able to.

Mary Alessi [00:26:52]:
Well, you know, I think that we try to.

Steve Alessi [00:26:55]:
I like your glasses, by the way.

Mary Alessi [00:26:56]:
Thank you. I can see a little bit when I look down. This is part of getting older. Your eyes are the first to go.

Steve Alessi [00:27:03]:
You're not older?

Mary Alessi [00:27:04]:
No. Your neck is the first to go.

Steve Alessi [00:27:05]:
What?

Mary Alessi [00:27:06]:
Yeah. And then it all starts to fall down for you.

Steve Alessi [00:27:08]:
It's your memory.

Mary Alessi [00:27:09]:
But, you know, I couldn't remember that. Well, that's that, too. There's a lot that starts happening.

Chris Alessi [00:27:15]:
Can I tell a funny, funny story real quick?

Mary Alessi [00:27:17]:
Yes.

Chris Alessi [00:27:18]:
So, unfortunately, her mom might forget what she was.

Mary Alessi [00:27:21]:
I will forget it. No, no, no, go ahead. It doesn't even matter. I'll tell. By the way, I'll tell something else.

Steve Alessi [00:27:25]:
While you're in this. I'm going for a night owl. I just want cookie.

Chris Alessi [00:27:28]:
I just wanted our. Our audience to know how funny dad was. A couple weeks ago, I'm having to deal with an issue with. With a medical report. They came in and. And a lab tech wrote something down that I don't have. It's called encephalopathy. Encephalopathy.

Mary Alessi [00:27:44]:
Encephalopagus. Isn't that like a Sesame street character?

Chris Alessi [00:27:47]:
It was encephalopagus. The tech wrote down I was having mucus. I wanted to get tested.

Mary Alessi [00:27:53]:
Okay.

Chris Alessi [00:27:54]:
And so earlier, it was for Rochelle, and so I end up finding out, like, our insurance isn't happy about it, but it was a lab text mistake. So I'm calling Dad, and I'm just, like, complaining about it. And so that's, like, what they say you have. Is that encephal. Encephalopathy. You know, apparently there's like mood swings and like severe memory loss and dad's like, that's crazy. Did you tell him your dad has it?

Mary Alessi [00:28:21]:
Didn't know there was a term by the way.

Steve Alessi [00:28:23]:
Do you follow up on that?

Chris Alessi [00:28:24]:
Yeah, because I heard from the insurance guy. Yeah. So proud of my dad. I'm like, that's such a great joke.

Mary Alessi [00:28:32]:
It is a great joke because instead of being afraid and. And automatically assuming, oh my God, Chris has something which. Can I just say. And I love all of your age bracket in your age, your generation. They're wonderful. They have some amazing things.

Chris Alessi [00:28:46]:
You're laying it on thick for what contributing to them.

Mary Alessi [00:28:49]:
But. But there's some. Hypochondriac. No.

Steve Alessi [00:28:52]:
What is it?

Mary Alessi [00:28:54]:
Hypochondriac.

Steve Alessi [00:28:54]:
Hypochondriac.

Mary Alessi [00:28:56]:
When you like. I feel like this next. The season that we're in like this world that we're in. If you get diagnosed with something, you feel better.

Chris Alessi [00:29:03]:
No, but that's not just this generation. That's every. That's every generation.

Mary Alessi [00:29:06]:
No.

Chris Alessi [00:29:06]:
Yes it is.

Mary Alessi [00:29:07]:
No, no.

Steve Alessi [00:29:07]:
Hypochondriac is my grandma Alessi who was thought everything every day. She was sick of something.

Mary Alessi [00:29:13]:
But there was one in a 10, 000 people that you knew. They were like hypochondriac stood out because we didn't take a lot of pills. We didn't.

Steve Alessi [00:29:21]:
We.

Mary Alessi [00:29:21]:
Nobody was on prescription anything as they are today.

Chris Alessi [00:29:24]:
Logical thing. That's not. Okay. So it was.

Mary Alessi [00:29:26]:
Now he's going to go to his master's degree.

Chris Alessi [00:29:30]:
My masters was in theology. Not this. But psychologically, if you're taking a pen you a pill, you feel like you're doing something. And the only like if not, then you don't know what to do about yourself.

Mary Alessi [00:29:40]:
Okay, well, whatever I'm saying, that's a. This generation.

Steve Alessi [00:29:44]:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi [00:29:44]:
I was going to say.

Steve Alessi [00:29:45]:
Wait, let's get back to it.

Mary Alessi [00:29:46]:
No, when you interrupt me, it's over. I'm moving on to something else.

Chris Alessi [00:29:50]:
No.

Mary Alessi [00:29:51]:
So no. We were talking about when you get a diagnosis.

Chris Alessi [00:29:55]:
Okay.

Mary Alessi [00:29:56]:
No, that was the story you interrupted with. I can't go back that far. That was like four minutes ago.

Steve Alessi [00:30:01]:
Put on her phone so she could.

Chris Alessi [00:30:03]:
This is actually a sign of it. So one of the. No.

Steve Alessi [00:30:06]:
1 of the encephalopathy.

Mary Alessi [00:30:08]:
This is encephalopathy right now.

Chris Alessi [00:30:11]:
No, but one of the things that they say is one of the easiest, simplest cures to somebody who feels depressed is to start thinking about something in the future that would bring them joy. Something simple. And so think about the moment we just had where we just started dying, laughing. Or a couple weeks ago, when we were in the. In the booth with Gabby, we were trying to film a video for our church, and you and I just kept yawning and we started breaking out laughing. We had to stop the video because.

Mary Alessi [00:30:42]:
Y' all couldn't stop yawning.

Chris Alessi [00:30:43]:
Couldn't stop.

Mary Alessi [00:30:44]:
You were boring yourselves.

Steve Alessi [00:30:46]:
Yes, boring ourselves to sleep.

Chris Alessi [00:30:49]:
This is what. It's weird, like, because I brought this. I brought this up at the beginning. If there's anxiety is trying to prepare yourself for something bad that can happen tomorrow.

Mary Alessi [00:31:02]:
Right?

Chris Alessi [00:31:02]:
You can't. You don't know what it's going to be. Even that. That inside out, too. Trying to, like, anxiety was trying to prepare the kid for something bad that might happen in the next moment or the next day. But the truth is that that is proof that there's unexpected joy in the future, too.

Mary Alessi [00:31:18]:
So that's what I think I was trying to go to about mental toughness and mental strength. You know, my mother, who has had zero degree, she's got a real estate license, but she.

Steve Alessi [00:31:30]:
You mean Dr. Faith.

Mary Alessi [00:31:31]:
Frederick. Dr. Faith, who has a theological degree now, but back in the day, the one.

Chris Alessi [00:31:38]:
Who ran a school.

Mary Alessi [00:31:39]:
And this is why. This is why I never can't get my thoughts.

Steve Alessi [00:31:44]:
Go ahead.

Mary Alessi [00:31:44]:
She has them now, but when we were growing up, she didn't have any.

Steve Alessi [00:31:48]:
Go ahead.

Mary Alessi [00:31:48]:
She graduated from high school, then went full time into ministry with my dad.

Steve Alessi [00:31:52]:
Okay.

Mary Alessi [00:31:52]:
And see, just this trail can make me forget what I'm trying. Where I'm trying to go.

Steve Alessi [00:31:56]:
Hey, blondie. Go ahead.

Mary Alessi [00:31:57]:
Dear Lord. You guys, I don't want to do this with y' all anymore. No. She would say. She would say when I would have, like, being younger, that 10, 11, 12, where the mind monsters start naturally coming in because your brains rewired and changing. I remember she'd say, okay, girls, if you can't sleep because you're having bad thoughts, think happy thoughts. She would just throw that out. Think the happiest thought.

Mary Alessi [00:32:20]:
Well, you know what my happy thought was? Oh, no, I'm not kidding. I'm not. This shows my age. My happy thought was Donny Osmond.

Chris Alessi [00:32:29]:
Who is that?

Mary Alessi [00:32:35]:
Don't tell Michelle. It might be her. It might be Michelle's happy thought.

Chris Alessi [00:32:38]:
Sorry, it's my encephalopathy.

Mary Alessi [00:32:39]:
No, I think in his 70s now. And he dances on Vegas. In Vegas. But back in the day, he was Donnie and Marie Osmond. You don't know who they are? I'm a little bit Country Marie's hot.

Steve Alessi [00:32:50]:
I'll tell you.

Mary Alessi [00:32:50]:
She's 80 years.

Steve Alessi [00:32:52]:
She looks great. She's selling Weight Watchers. Weight. No. Something like that.

Mary Alessi [00:32:58]:
No. Weight Watchers. But in the day, in the 70s.

Chris Alessi [00:33:01]:
What if weight Watchers was a bunch of people who just sat around you and watched you.

Mary Alessi [00:33:06]:
That's basically what happens. That's.

Steve Alessi [00:33:08]:
But that's been my wife.

Chris Alessi [00:33:10]:
The entire People that'll just keep an eye.

Steve Alessi [00:33:14]:
That's my wife. Baby. That's your mom.

Mary Alessi [00:33:16]:
Six ounces, two pounds.

Chris Alessi [00:33:18]:
Do you know what was for me, there was a time where I, I.

Mary Alessi [00:33:21]:
Just, I wanted to finish my Donny Osmond condom finish content. Can I please finish?

Steve Alessi [00:33:31]:
See, go away.

Mary Alessi [00:33:32]:
You've interrupted me three times. Have you noticed? Your father has not, but you have. You are young in this game.

Chris Alessi [00:33:38]:
I'm a champion.

Mary Alessi [00:33:39]:
You are young in this game, sir.

Steve Alessi [00:33:41]:
Go.

Mary Alessi [00:33:42]:
No. So the happy thoughts I would insert into my mind the things that made me happy. And within minutes the bad thoughts would go away. And the truth is we've replaced medication and prescription drugs. I was trying to go serious and y' all are still trying to stay, you know, funny. But the truth is there's mental toughness and going back to your scenario, it's survival. It's survival to think happy thoughts because you know you've got to rewire your brain away from fear and yes, faith, but really back into I can't control what happens to me tomorrow anyway. And there's something about you that the mental toughness and the person that you become when you really do have to let go of what happens to you tomorrow that you do give your life over to.

Mary Alessi [00:34:29]:
I don't know what's going to happen. I have to enjoy this every day. And it's not something that you do because culture tells you or it's a thought. You've had an experience in life that now is. Oh, my sister's calling me. Sorry.

Steve Alessi [00:34:41]:
Yep. It's okay.

Mary Alessi [00:34:43]:
Sorry, Martha. She knows all about this, but I think that that's what it boils down to. There's two kinds of people. There's two kinds of ways you can think and be a type of person.

Steve Alessi [00:34:53]:
Right.

Mary Alessi [00:34:53]:
You can be somebody that is always thinking about the worst possible situation or you can be more positive Pollyanna, which you become anyway if you're going to have peace of mind. You know what I mean?

Steve Alessi [00:35:05]:
Yep. I think, I don't mean this self serving right now. And I don't, I don't because I don't like to talk about myself. Right. I really don't I know it's hard to believe.

Mary Alessi [00:35:14]:
It's very hard.

Steve Alessi [00:35:15]:
But I was reading this book. All right. So we were with the staff recently in Georgia. We were in the middle of camps, so it was just some of the senior leadership that was there. So we were around the table, and it was like a serious moment. I started to talk about this book that I was reading. And so I said, because we're dealing with some issue around the table. And so in this serious moment, I said, you know, and in this book, I'm reading on mental toughness.

Steve Alessi [00:35:54]:
As I said that, like, three of them just broke out in laughter.

Mary Alessi [00:35:58]:
It was like automatic response of laughing at you for saying that they were laughing at me.

Steve Alessi [00:36:04]:
And I'm like, why are they. What are you all doing? You know? And they're like, of all the books you should be reading, you don't need to be reading one about mental toughness.

Mary Alessi [00:36:14]:
Exactly.

Steve Alessi [00:36:15]:
You're one of the mentally toughest mental person people we know.

Mary Alessi [00:36:19]:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi [00:36:19]:
I was like, okay, but that was.

Mary Alessi [00:36:22]:
Nice to have automatic reaction.

Steve Alessi [00:36:24]:
First off. It is. And I had, to be honest, I said, well, I'm not reading it for me. I'm reading it for the staff. I want to teach them some things.

Mary Alessi [00:36:33]:
Listen, it's hard to be around you and not.

Steve Alessi [00:36:35]:
And be mentally weak, for one thing. All right. Where does mental toughness come from? All right. Well, it does come from going through our time.

Mary Alessi [00:36:43]:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi [00:36:43]:
And. And if. If you're going to go through something and you pull yourself up and you get the support of other people around you, it does temper you a little. It makes you a stronger person, which is why you shouldn't run from hard times. You shouldn't run from hard decisions. You shouldn't run from having to make a hard call. I mean, right now, we're making a hard call in our business, in our church, because we're going to a full stream environment, live stream environment in both locations. That's true.

Steve Alessi [00:37:12]:
And the location that no longer has a live speaker in it because it's live stream. They're. They're having a hard time with. Wait, we're not going to see our pastor anymore. He's not going to be in flesh. We're going to be hearing it like a recording. I can stay home, all that stuff. So hearing it makes me sit back and think, well, maybe it's a mistake.

Steve Alessi [00:37:31]:
Maybe we shouldn't. But deep down, I know it's the right thing to do if we're going to expand our influence and touch as many people as we can. And so therefore, that's where mental toughness has to come in. I'm knowing what I'm doing. We got to keep moving forward. We're. We're got the good support, the wisdom, the counsel, the training. We know what we're doing in order to change.

Steve Alessi [00:37:51]:
So there has to be mental toughness. But here's what I ultimately took out of that reading, and it came down to the conversation you're having with yourself. All right? You have to change the narrative. What makes you afraid, what makes you weak, what makes you feel hopeless and helpless is the narrative. What's the story you're telling yourself? Broken heart. I'll never love again.

Mary Alessi [00:38:22]:
Right, right.

Steve Alessi [00:38:24]:
Financial, you know, I'm breaking. I lose all my money. I'll never have enough money again. There's always health. Mental, physical health. Getting attacked. Oh, my God, I'm going to die. This is going to be in my.

Steve Alessi [00:38:38]:
My future. I. I'm not going to have long life. It's. It's the narrative that you're telling yourself. You're dealing with somebody that's very hard and controlling, and you keep looking at them and you're thinking, they're just controlling. You know, they're. They're ridiculous.

Steve Alessi [00:38:51]:
I can't get along with them. What you have to ultimately do is flip the switch. Yeah. Okay. Why is this person talking to me? Why do they feel like they've got to control the narrative? Why do they always have to control the situation? You know what? Maybe it's because they've been hurt or they've been disappointed, or maybe they're afraid. The moment I change my narrative in my mind about what's going on about the person, about the events and so on and so forth, I can then get stronger and not run from the person, run from the situation, but instead be able to embrace it and say, wait a minute. This sickness is not unto death. I can.

Steve Alessi [00:39:32]:
I can get back up on my feet. I got to go to the doctor. I've got to make sure I'm on the right meds. I got to make sure I'm working out. I'm eating right. I can change this story. Yeah, but it starts with the story you're telling yourself.

Chris Alessi [00:39:45]:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi [00:39:45]:
When you have a spouse that you think, man, they just don't treat me right. Well, change the narrative in your mind. Maybe if I start treating them differently, they'll start treating me differently. Maybe if I say, I love you more. Maybe if I say, I'm sorry. Maybe if I. I'm the one that initiates dialogue and conversation. Maybe if I flip it, this, the script here, things can change.

Steve Alessi [00:40:10]:
It's changing the narrative in your mind. That's the thing that I took out of that. Mentally tough.

Chris Alessi [00:40:15]:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi [00:40:15]:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi [00:40:16]:
Because ultimately, whatever you tell yourself is truth.

Chris Alessi [00:40:20]:
Yeah. Well, our coach actually said it.

Steve Alessi [00:40:23]:
Chris said, steve, for real, whatever you tell yourself is true. Yeah, if I can do it, I will do it. Yeah, if I can't do it, I won't do it.

Mary Alessi [00:40:32]:
And you're stronger than you think you are.

Steve Alessi [00:40:34]:
God put that within each other. You were saying.

Chris Alessi [00:40:36]:
No, our coach said that your thoughts lead to your. The thoughts you have lead to the words you speak, which lead to the. The actions which create your habits, which create your results. So if at any point I don't like the results of my life, I have to go back to the thoughts that I'm thinking. And I can remember a time walking in Disney World as a family, and mom looked at me and because of the words I was saying, she looked at me and said, I don't think you should preach to anyone else until you've started preaching to yourself again. And I remember thinking, oh, my gosh, I'm showing up on these Monday nights with all these young adults preaching to them. Yeah, I wake up every day and I. I just live my life.

Chris Alessi [00:41:18]:
I don't even go through what I have to tell myself. And there was.

Steve Alessi [00:41:22]:
How did you take off, by the way, when that happened? What do you mean, you stopped preaching for a little bit.

Chris Alessi [00:41:28]:
It was about a month.

Steve Alessi [00:41:29]:
About a month?

Chris Alessi [00:41:29]:
I was going to preach to myself.

Mary Alessi [00:41:31]:
I think. I think it was a little longer than that. I think it was about six months all summer. I was. We were very proud that you gave into that. I don't know if you remember me telling you this, because one of the. I don't want to say it was like an overshadowing fear, but it's definitely a learned behavior. Is one thing about my father was that he could preach it, he could sing it, he could write it in a song, and he couldn't do it.

Chris Alessi [00:41:52]:
Could never do it.

Mary Alessi [00:41:52]:
And that's one of the most dangerous things, not just for pastors and preachers and communicators. That's dangerous for people, period. Don't be a know it all boss and everybody around and you're not living it. Live it first. That's why people laughed out loud at you, that I need this book like you don't need this book. You live mental strength, mental toughness. You look what you've overcome. That's what you want people to say about you, not that you're just preaching some information.

Mary Alessi [00:42:15]:
There's so much knowledge. Oh, my gosh. There's so much knowledge. But what really impacts and influences and transforms is. Is knowledge that is implemented, that's lived.

Steve Alessi [00:42:25]:
Yeah. And you were. Hello. You must have been what, 20?

Chris Alessi [00:42:29]:
No. So we're thinking about two different times. I was. This was. I was older. This was 18 seven years ago. I was like 26.

Steve Alessi [00:42:36]:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi [00:42:37]:
And I just, it was just I had let my. I had let a bitterness take hold because I just, I, you know what my thoughts were? I deserve more than I'm getting.

Mary Alessi [00:42:45]:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi [00:42:46]:
And that was it. I just, I had thought that had infected so many things. So she goes, I don't think you should preach until you start preaching to yourself. We're walking around Disney, remember? We're just having a good time. And that started a practice in me where I started something called a sermon to myself. And I'd wake up every day. It took me 20 full minutes outside of reading the Bible, where I'd have to tell myself, this is what I'll think this day.

Mary Alessi [00:43:10]:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi [00:43:11]:
And you know what was crazy? During that time, I was a little depressed because there were just things that I wanted to see in my life that I weren't seeing. And do you know what suddenly started to become a cure for depression for me? The Miami Miracle.

Steve Alessi [00:43:25]:
Do you remember the Miami Miracle?

Chris Alessi [00:43:26]:
I don't Remember filming in 2018. In 2018, the dolphins. The Dolphins were going up against the Patriots in the final game of the season.

Steve Alessi [00:43:35]:
Oh, Lord.

Chris Alessi [00:43:36]:
And it ended up being, I believe, like Tom Brady's last game for the Patriots. And it was in Miami and we were losing like crazy. And our team stormed all the way back. I think it was to keep them out of the playoffs. And in, on the, in the last play, they kicked the ball to us. And we do the only multiple lateral play in NFL history to get all the way to the end zone score and win the game in a walk off touchdown. Nobody thought we'd win. The Hurricanes had done it years before.

Chris Alessi [00:44:12]:
We're on a kickoff return to end the game with two seconds. We take it all the way to the house against Duke and we win. There were moments where I remember this overwhelming joy because my sports team won. And it's like, wow, when you start to get upset, depressed, thinking the wrong thoughts, you really forecast nothing but doom and gloom into your future.

Mary Alessi [00:44:33]:
Yeah, that's true.

Chris Alessi [00:44:34]:
But then when you can remind yourself that something as stupid as a sport can bring me overwhelming Joy.

Steve Alessi [00:44:42]:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi [00:44:43]:
It's like, wow. It's almost like the sun starts to just break through all the gray sky. And you're like, there will be good in my future, too. And that was one of the. You know, so you change the thoughts you're thinking, which means now the words I'm saying are. Are shifting. Which means my actions are different, which habits and results. The results of my life are different.

Steve Alessi [00:45:03]:
Yeah. And you wrote some cards down you used to have.

Chris Alessi [00:45:05]:
Oh, yeah.

Steve Alessi [00:45:06]:
Up on your mirror.

Chris Alessi [00:45:07]:
Oh, yeah.

Steve Alessi [00:45:07]:
You would read those things.

Chris Alessi [00:45:08]:
I had thoughts. So the sermon in myself started with four or five. Just like three by five cards.

Steve Alessi [00:45:14]:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi [00:45:15]:
Where I'd write down something and I'd put in my back pocket and I'd pull it out. And it's crazy because ever since then, I have never needed them again in their fullness. But I have always had. I know the practice I have to bring out if I. If my mind ever starts to go somewhere it shouldn't. I know the practice I have to bring out that helped me a lot. When Rochelle was pregnant and we spent three days in Israel while Marino stopped moving because Rochelle had got. Remember this story?

Mary Alessi [00:45:41]:
Oh, yeah.

Chris Alessi [00:45:42]:
Rochelle got baptized in the.

Mary Alessi [00:45:43]:
In the cold, crazy cold Jordan.

Chris Alessi [00:45:45]:
And Marino stopped moving. He was six, seven months in the womb at that point.

Mary Alessi [00:45:48]:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi [00:45:50]:
I even come and tell Mom. I'm nervous. It was. It was the practices back then that helped me know.

Steve Alessi [00:45:57]:
Okay.

Chris Alessi [00:45:57]:
No, I know how to be mentally tough here. And then it was great.

Steve Alessi [00:46:01]:
You know, right.

Chris Alessi [00:46:02]:
At 32 weeks, someone comes and tells me a terrible story about what happened to their co worker when she was 32 weeks pregnant.

Steve Alessi [00:46:07]:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi [00:46:08]:
Always.

Steve Alessi [00:46:08]:
Always.

Mary Alessi [00:46:09]:
It's the worst always.

Chris Alessi [00:46:10]:
But you're going to bed and you're like, wait, no, I know how to control my mind here. And so it keeps you. Because you just. You develop the practice and you can pull on it whenever you need it.

Steve Alessi [00:46:20]:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi [00:46:21]:
I think if we could see our brain under, I don't know, not necessarily a microscope, but maybe through the images. The images to see what happens to our brain when we feast on fearful thoughts and the anxiety. Well, I know anxiety shows up.

Steve Alessi [00:46:37]:
Oh, they've demonstrated that.

Chris Alessi [00:46:38]:
Oh, yeah.

Mary Alessi [00:46:38]:
Yeah. And depression.

Steve Alessi [00:46:39]:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi [00:46:40]:
And especially if it comes out in your words or you're a person that internalizes either way. I think if we really could see the reaction that our brain has to us constantly staying in a state of either fear, fight or flight or just doom or the worst possible scenario, are always considering those things instead of protecting ourselves and staying in a place of wait A minute, I release that. I'm not going to stay in that place. I think if we could see what would happen on the inside and to our brains, it would automatically cause us to be more afraid of letting that happen.

Steve Alessi [00:47:18]:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi [00:47:18]:
So we would practice more positive talking, thinking and even Christians. I mean, we know we're surrounded by a lot of Christians. And just because you call yourself a Christian or you have faith doesn't mean you have the ability to practice or put into practice positive thinking and meditating and thinking on these things. And I love Philippians 4, 8. Whatever is true, whatever is pure, whatever is good, all the good stuff, just think on that. You know, it never leaves a contingency plan for. But be careful, don't think too many good thoughts, because what if the worst happened? You know, leave room to be practical here. You don't see that anywhere in the Bible you say you hear.

Mary Alessi [00:47:59]:
This is where you think. You think on what's true. Okay. What's honest, what's noble, what's a good report, what's lovely.

Chris Alessi [00:48:07]:
If there's anything worthy of praise, think on.

Mary Alessi [00:48:09]:
Put your brain on that and stay there.

Steve Alessi [00:48:12]:
Is that what you talked about on the Morning Devo recently with Gabby?

Mary Alessi [00:48:16]:
No, we talked about the acronym for submit, what it means to submit, because in a time of S, U, B, M, I, T. But we had to do six instead of five.

Steve Alessi [00:48:28]:
You put a bonus in there for tea.

Mary Alessi [00:48:29]:
We put a bonus for T. Yeah.

Chris Alessi [00:48:32]:
I love when people submit. It's really great.

Steve Alessi [00:48:35]:
By the way, when is that Morning Devo?

Mary Alessi [00:48:38]:
Every day.

Steve Alessi [00:48:39]:
How do they get to it?

Mary Alessi [00:48:41]:
When does it come out? When does it launch?

Chris Alessi [00:48:42]:
It's like 5am yeah.

Mary Alessi [00:48:44]:
Every single day.

Chris Alessi [00:48:44]:
It's out before you wake up, I can assure you.

Steve Alessi [00:48:46]:
How do you get to it?

Mary Alessi [00:48:47]:
Spotify, Spotify, Apple. It's easy to just grab it and yeah, there's a link every episode and they do put it on the Instagram, on their Instagram page.

Chris Alessi [00:48:58]:
We'll link it to this episode, too. Every one of our Family business podcast.

Mary Alessi [00:49:01]:
Because what's great about that is again, positive affirmation. And it's five minutes every morning. It's the time frame of it. It's five minutes.

Steve Alessi [00:49:10]:
Lessy girls have made it longer.

Mary Alessi [00:49:12]:
No, I'm not. No more than six or seven.

Steve Alessi [00:49:14]:
Stop talking.

Mary Alessi [00:49:15]:
Right, Alan? No more than six or seven. A little bit. Maybe ten.

Chris Alessi [00:49:18]:
Especially Gabby.

Mary Alessi [00:49:19]:
Well, anyway, you can give God ten minutes.

Steve Alessi [00:49:22]:
Oh, goodness.

Mary Alessi [00:49:23]:
Actually, it does help you start your day right.

Steve Alessi [00:49:26]:
No, you're totally right.

Mary Alessi [00:49:27]:
Get your brain going in the right direction.

Chris Alessi [00:49:30]:
Thinking on the right stuff. You know, this is funny. Over the last seven or eight days, there have been moments where this question has just crept into the back of my head. What would God want my mind on right now?

Mary Alessi [00:49:40]:
Yeah, that's a good question.

Chris Alessi [00:49:41]:
What would God want my mind on? Because we were talking earlier about all this stuff going on in the world. Your kids still want to spend time with them, your kids still want you to be around. So there are, you know. Yes. Is there a lot at stake in the world right now? Is there a battle for our country's morality? Probably. Is there a battle for the life of your six or seven year old who's like, I want to be with my dad.

Steve Alessi [00:50:06]:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi [00:50:06]:
And I wanted to be fully present. Absolutely.

Steve Alessi [00:50:09]:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi [00:50:10]:
And so it's like, you know, what does God want my mind on? These big political things. Obviously a part of my life has to be dedicated to that, but not at the expense of my family, not at the expense of my own community. So what does God want my mind on right now?

Mary Alessi [00:50:29]:
And I want to add to that really quick something that I've, even in recent years, I've really processed. I don't want to do anything or be motivated by fear. I don't want anything. Any decision that I make, that fear is what's behind it, which is what's driving me to do it. And I really stopped and asked myself, is that a trauma response or is that a fear response? And I hate the trauma response term because I think those things, when you say them too much, gets watered down. And people that really haven't gone through trauma throw that out. And people that have really gone through trauma don't ever use that term. But I.

Mary Alessi [00:51:07]:
I know from my own childhood and listening to our podcast, you can hear my story, your story, all that we've been through. But I. I want to take captive every thought. And as you get older, it doesn't get any easier. You. You have to be mindful because you have more at stake. You've wait till Marino gets older, you know, and then you have a little girl and you have more kids. You really need to get into a practice of thinking on good things and staying in a place of.

Mary Alessi [00:51:34]:
Of believing the best rather than believing the worst, because you can't control the worst anyway. But in this day and age, it's like we heard this week, you. You had a friend who didn't wake up in your age this week alone.

Steve Alessi [00:51:48]:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi [00:51:49]:
And in the same day on social media, I think her name's Anne Burrell. She's a Chef on Food Network. Famous chef just didn't wake up. She's my age, 55. Well, it's like you're hearing that constantly. It would be easy at our age to close our eyes at night and go, what if I don't wake up? Well, are you kidding? I'm young, I'm healthy. Why would I even think that? Because everywhere around you, you're hearing this barrage of the worst scenario. Part of that is because of access to information.

Mary Alessi [00:52:19]:
That's really all it is. We're just saturated with. We're hearing about people. We don't even know who they are. But we're seeing it on social media, we're seeing it on the news, wherever we get our information. So we've got to put barriers up. We've really got to put some guardrails up to protect our minds in the morning. And I think at night from those thoughts that come and not.

Mary Alessi [00:52:40]:
Not feed on too much information. But for me, something that I really even have in grandkids, some of those old fears when the kids were little will start come knocking at my door again, and in the middle of the night wake up thinking about our pool and the kids and the babies being in the pool and having these nightmares and thoughts. And I had to overcome that once. So I know what I've got to do to overcome that again. I'm going to put guardrails in place, I'm going to put defense mechanisms in place. But I will not let fear be a motivating factor because it leads to anxiety.

Steve Alessi [00:53:13]:
So good. No, all this is so good. You know, I would say two things to that. The, the, the biggest of which, and we're very fortunate. Okay. And I think, for one thing, I say if we're fortunate because we're in a community of faith.

Mary Alessi [00:53:28]:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi [00:53:28]:
So when we're in a community of faith, there's two things that are constantly happen. Number one is faith, which faith is actually a vision for somebody's life.

Mary Alessi [00:53:35]:
Right.

Steve Alessi [00:53:35]:
I think people, when they have a vision, they're forced to look forward, not look where they're at or look where they've been.

Mary Alessi [00:53:42]:
Yeah, it's good.

Steve Alessi [00:53:43]:
That's where I think coming out of 42, the heart attack and so on, having this church and what I knew my role was and realizing that I wasn't taken out because I still have a purpose for being and living was my family and this ministry. I was looking forward. So when you're looking forward, you're pursuing a vision, you don't have time to get caught up in the present. Too much.

Mary Alessi [00:54:04]:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi [00:54:04]:
You don't have time to let your mind dwell on these things here. We know that life is not easy in the moment, but vision is always saying, it's going to get better because I've got someplace, I have somewhere to go. And over the years, as a young man, vision was so important.

Mary Alessi [00:54:22]:
Right.

Steve Alessi [00:54:22]:
Especially as a pioneer, I needed vision to go forward. And in your generation, as Chris trying to control his yawns, he's going to make me laugh. So don't look at what's so important in your generation is picking up a vision to now say, all right, I'm given an opportunity at this season, but I know when the baton is passed, and then me and my peer group is running and leading. What's the vision for us? What's the vision that we have for our day and our season that's so important? Because it keeps you from getting caught up in, oh, I'm not the guy yet. I'm not the leader yet. I'm still the son and my dad could be in my way, you know, and the. All those things, you. You have to fight those thoughts.

Steve Alessi [00:55:08]:
But a vision helps you.

Mary Alessi [00:55:09]:
It's really.

Steve Alessi [00:55:10]:
Stay out of this. The second thing that's so cool about this community of faith that we are in is the community. Yeah, the people.

Mary Alessi [00:55:19]:
Right. There's stories.

Steve Alessi [00:55:21]:
Wanting to stay by yourself, wanting to stay secluded, wanting to be alone keeps you trapped in your own thoughts. And you can't, you know, veg yourself on Netflix and Hulu and Amazon and think you're going to get out of your negative thoughts.

Mary Alessi [00:55:41]:
You can't.

Steve Alessi [00:55:42]:
It just keeps you there. Right. But the moment you start connecting with other people, you get around there. I hate to use this term, their vibe, their energy, you know, but it's true. But we know in our realm, it's faith. When you get around their faith, when you get around what they're doing, their vision, how they're living their life, you get out of your living room, go sit in their living room, get out of your dining room and go sit in a restaurant somewhere, that whole dynamic of that begins to change the way you think. So you put the staff on an assignment this summer. Chris and I think this is so cool.

Steve Alessi [00:56:20]:
We have a practice here within our staff to go to coffee as often as you can go to have coffee with them, at least three if you can. So you and Armando, Gabby, that I get your weekly agenda from, you'll put on there. Same with John. He'll put on there. My goal is to take Three people connect with three people, and the church supports that financially. We reimburse because we. It's. It's worth it for us to get out and really connect with people that we work with or only see on Sunday.

Steve Alessi [00:56:53]:
So we want to have that. So you wanted to take it up a notch this week, this summer, and you said, all right, go. Go take people out. So they're doing it during the day. So your wife Rochelle and Melanie, when we were starting, I wanted my coffee. They're not here to give me my coffee because they're having coffee with somebody, which is cool. That's what it's about.

Mary Alessi [00:57:13]:
Right?

Steve Alessi [00:57:14]:
So we got a picture from Armando and Anna, who went to one of the family at Dadeland, their home, today. Now, this gentleman and his wife have just recently, since the beginning of the year, started coming to our church. He's sharp. I know him from somewhere. I just can't figure out where. But he's sharp, and his wife is beautiful. Works out she's fighting cancer, so she's completely shaved her head, and she's going through treatment and fighting cancer. I'm undoing Anna, go to their house today to have coffee and just chill with them.

Steve Alessi [00:57:58]:
And he sent the picture and the beautiful testimony about how they are metro lifers. Just their whole spirit about them is metro lifers, which means they. They share our values of Christianity, but yet they share the value of fighting and. And enjoying life. Their life filled, even though they're going through hell right now.

Mary Alessi [00:58:17]:
That's right.

Steve Alessi [00:58:17]:
Their life filled. Their faith filled. That moment with Armando in their room, in their home, sharing conversation and connecting is elevating both.

Mary Alessi [00:58:33]:
So much joy. Yes.

Steve Alessi [00:58:34]:
Mind so true set. That's their thoughts. Because you've got this couple who's surrounded by our campus pastor and his wife down there that are sensing faith.

Chris Alessi [00:58:46]:
Yeah, that's right.

Steve Alessi [00:58:46]:
In their home. And it's a great place to go. Go to the home where the battle is at the most. When they're at home in the home, they're. They're feeling that that battle take place. So the faith is elevated. Then our pastors, Armando and Anna, are sitting there saying, wow, look how we're bringing this. We've got to stay focused on what God's called us to do and what this ministry is doing.

Steve Alessi [00:59:09]:
It's keeping their thoughts elevated. And in keeping their thoughts elevated, they're able to fight the good fight even more and think on those things that are more positive and conducive to a winning mindset, because you're going to have to fight the good fight. You're going to have to lose a game or two. You're going to have to get knocked off your feet every so often. You're going to go through a hard time because that's life. Life was never meant to be easy. You don't coast through life and really get anywhere. Okay.

Steve Alessi [00:59:41]:
You can't live in neutral. You can't live in park. You got to be going forward, not backwards. And if you're going to do that, you're going to have some challenges that come your way, but you're going to fight it. And you'll put the jersey on, you'll read the book, write the book. Your story is going to sell it, be celebrated by others, because you're going to encourage them, because that's how life is, and that's how you should make it.

Mary Alessi [01:00:05]:
Anytime I'm around people that are going through a fight for their life, a health battle like that, it always makes me want to be stronger. It always makes me question my own ability to go through something like that. And I just look at them with this sense of awe, of wow. You talk about mental toughness when you're young and you're going through a battle for your life. And the husband's right there with her, and she's lost her hair, and they're both as healthy as could be physically fit from the outside. And yet this attack has come. And the mental. We know the mental struggle that that is, to have to accept those words, accept the news and just somebody ever saying the C word over you, and to see them fight and come to church.

Mary Alessi [01:00:48]:
And then I could imagine Ann and Armando sitting in the home with them today. They're getting as much out of it, that's what you're saying. It's feeding them and their soul as much as Ann and Armando are feeding this couple's soul. Who needs it? But I just. I admire people that have really been in the trenches with their health, and they've overcome hard things because it's a reminder that we all can do harder things than we're doing right now, and we will respond and we'll live. And every day we lose gets redeemed. You know, that's a thought that I've had recently. It was so funny because I was thinking about the youth and how many years you did youth on Friday nights, right? Friday nights were youth.

Mary Alessi [01:01:28]:
Every Friday night, we couldn't go anywhere because Christopher led youth on Friday night, right? So we had Friday night youth, Saturday night youth. And this is just a Petty thought, but it really is, it's profound if you put it in the right places at the time. We started out with, this is better. It's a sacrifice. Then after several years of Friday nights became, really became a sacrifice and we stopped and went back to Wednesdays. It's funny how now we can't even remember the sacrifice of Friday nights because you have thousands of more Friday nights that you're not doing what was a sacrifice. And it's so easy to think that the struggle that you're in right now, it's all there is. And you forget you've got days, weeks, months, years ahead of you to live without this sacrifice or without this battle or without the struggle.

Mary Alessi [01:02:18]:
And it is okay to project into the future.

Chris Alessi [01:02:21]:
Yep.

Mary Alessi [01:02:21]:
It is okay for somebody to walk into your hospital room and say, I know it feels this way right now, but you're going to get better. It's not going to feel this way 30 days from now. It's going to be. And surrounding yourself with people that speak positively, that is so valuable. If you're going through a dark time, if you're going through a difficult space or a health crisis or even an emotional crisis or a loss where you're grieving, being around people that have been through it and are now on the other side of it, get around those people and ask them, feed off of them. What is this going to feel like a year from now? Well, it's not going to be easy, but I promise you the sun is going to shine again. When people tell you that grief has a three year pattern, it has a three year process. That is a fact, Jack.

Mary Alessi [01:03:05]:
Three years. Something happens in that third year where the sun starts to shine again. The wife that lost the husband decides she wants to start dating again. The husband that lost the wife decides he wants to get remarried. Men get married a little quicker than women, whatever. That's holding a podcast. But things do turn around. Things do get better on their own.

Mary Alessi [01:03:25]:
So you might as well start speaking that over your life, even when you're going through a dark situation or a fearful time, to not get bogged down in the constant sacrifice of the season or the difficulty of the season, because it is going to get better.

Steve Alessi [01:03:41]:
I like it. I got to go to the potty. So we got to start to bring this thing down because, you know, we're on the road, we're traveling and we're enjoying these summer long plays. Anything you want to say on the way out, Bubs?

Chris Alessi [01:03:51]:
I love the idea that community is part of the boundaries you were talking about because you can always go, you know. Yes. Story of one 55 year old not waking up is horrifying. But I know tons of 55 year olds who woke up this morning.

Mary Alessi [01:04:04]:
That's right.

Steve Alessi [01:04:05]:
Yeah. And so no health problems?

Chris Alessi [01:04:07]:
No, they're fine. I know tons of 75 year olds who woke up.

Mary Alessi [01:04:10]:
We know a guy right now at the gym. Everybody just signed a birthday card for him because he's turning 100 today. He turned 100 and he is a military veteran. He fought, I think in World War II. Something. I don't know. Anyway, he's 100, so do the math on that. And he's on the bike every day.

Mary Alessi [01:04:29]:
He drives himself to the ymca and he's an inspiration to everybody in that space.

Steve Alessi [01:04:33]:
And you know what? He was at the gym today and I wasn't.

Mary Alessi [01:04:37]:
There you go.

Chris Alessi [01:04:38]:
Okay, quick.

Mary Alessi [01:04:39]:
I better make friends with him.

Chris Alessi [01:04:40]:
Connor Tripp did that to me. Connor Tripp, after going through the battle for his son's life for years.

Mary Alessi [01:04:45]:
There you go.

Chris Alessi [01:04:46]:
Gave his son his kidney and six months later ran an ultra marathon. 50 miles. Tell me how easy it is to make an excuse to get up and not take a run.

Steve Alessi [01:04:54]:
Oh, boy.

Chris Alessi [01:04:55]:
When your buddy.

Steve Alessi [01:04:56]:
Especially when all you got to do is walk across the street to your gym. All right, so here. Here's what I would say. You know, we have buddies that are in our profession, and I've heard this from some of them. Oh, my God. It's just so hard to be a pastor because all we do is hear negative stories and we're carrying the load of our people who are dealing with challenges in their lives. And Mary and I are sitting over here. All of us are like, are you kidding?

Mary Alessi [01:05:23]:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi [01:05:24]:
It's the greatest joy.

Mary Alessi [01:05:26]:
Sure.

Steve Alessi [01:05:27]:
Is to be surrounded by winners that go through hard times.

Mary Alessi [01:05:31]:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi [01:05:32]:
But come out on the other hand, other side. With their hands raised. Well, that finished well.

Mary Alessi [01:05:37]:
Yep.

Steve Alessi [01:05:37]:
We are so fortunate we are doing what we do. We love our job. Mary, 40 years I've been doing this.

Chris Alessi [01:05:44]:
Wow.

Mary Alessi [01:05:45]:
I did not know.

Steve Alessi [01:05:46]:
Come on, man. 84. I came out of college immediately, started working in the ministry.

Mary Alessi [01:05:54]:
Wow.

Steve Alessi [01:05:54]:
Steve, this past May, it would have been 41 years that I've been doing this.

Mary Alessi [01:06:01]:
Does it feel like it it?

Steve Alessi [01:06:03]:
No.

Mary Alessi [01:06:03]:
Isn't that crazy?

Steve Alessi [01:06:04]:
This is great doing what we do.

Mary Alessi [01:06:08]:
And when you had the heart attack, you didn't blame the ministry?

Steve Alessi [01:06:10]:
Oh, my gosh, no.

Mary Alessi [01:06:11]:
You blame McDonald's.

Chris Alessi [01:06:13]:
Total.

Steve Alessi [01:06:14]:
You did too many cheeseburgers all the way up. No, not good. But really awesome. The people of this of course, in this room, my family, my wife, who was right there the whole time, you know, praying through and calling everybody else to pray, and the people of this Metro Life church that were here at the time jumped in and worked hard by faith, took over the ministry. You all right, son?

Chris Alessi [01:06:38]:
Stay with me, okay?

Steve Alessi [01:06:40]:
I'm boring. You took over the ministry while Mary and I, you and I were out for about 90 days. They stepped in, took care of business for us, and here we are all these years later, able to celebrate beautiful birthday, incredible and wouldn't have it any other different.

Mary Alessi [01:06:57]:
You are the strongest mentally tough person we know.

Steve Alessi [01:07:01]:
Oh, well, I gotta push those night owl cookies away because they've been getting baked since 2012. Great tagline. All right, man, I'm done. I gotta go to potty. I'm out of here. Pump the brakes. Let's get off at this rest stop and we'll see you next time on the Family Business with the Alessas.

Chris Alessi [01:07:20]:
You've just enjoyed another episode of the Family Business podcast with the Alessi's and we can't thank you enough for being a part of our pawdience today. Now that you've learned more about us, here's how you can join in in the Family business. First, make sure you're following our podcast right now and download this episode so you can hear it at any time. Second, think of someone you know that might need or enjoy this episode and share it with them. You'll be helping them and helping us to spread the word about the family business. Third, go to alessifamilybusiness.com and tap the Ask the Alessi's button. This is really cool. You could use it to record a voicemail comment or question and we can add your voice to our conversations.

Chris Alessi [01:08:01]:
Finally, while you're on our page, tap the reviews tab and you'll see a link to leave a review on Apple Podcasts. We love reading your reviews and we might even share them on the show. Thanks again for joining us and we'll see you next time at the Family Business with the Alessis. Because family is everybody's business.