How to Raise Confident Kids In Uncertain Times | Martha Munizzi & Mary Alessi (Top 10 Epsiode)

Steve Alessi:
Hello and welcome to another episode of the Family Business with the Alessi's. With Steve and Mary Alessi here just giving you a little introduction. Look, we are getting ready for season eight. Very excited about over 200 episodes that we have been able to record. Some of them, if you were to go way back and listen to, you would be inspired. But we're going to go ahead and help you do that because there's so many. We're going to pull together a few that we're going to play at this time, kind of a throwback and say, all right, and here's a great episode that we know is going to be a great help to you. So why don't you sit back and enjoy another episode of the Family Business with the Alessies.

Mary Alessi:
Hi, and welcome to another edition of the. Let me see, let me read it. Make sure I'm saying it right. The Family Business with the Alessias. No, for real. The Family Business with the Alessi's. I am back in the studio with my twin sister Martha. That's why we're a little punchy, a little bit goofy and silly.

Mary Alessi:
But we had an amazing conversation in our first podcast that we did here in the booth and I, I want everybody else to know. You have a podcast? Yes, that I was on about a year ago, I think. I think so, yes. And we talked about raising kids. Raising kids in the ministry to work with you, working with your adult kids. We talked all about that. And it's funny and it's fun and it's longer, I think. Did we talk like for an hour? I think so.

Mary Alessi:
We just kept going. We just kept going. Maybe 45 minutes or something. Yeah, it's long. But go get that and listen to it because we do cover a lot of this, a lot of stuff about that. Because I know today we're gonna, we're gonna try to talk some of that in this podcast, but we're gonna get off the rails because we have a lot of things. Here's some of the things we're gonna talk about in this podcast. You ready? Go.

Mary Alessi:
We're gonna talk about working with family. Yes. We're gonna also talk about how our young daughters and sons, the shows that they're consuming, the culture that they're a part of, and our concern about what will happen to our grandkids. Yes. If it's bad now, what will our grandkids be up against? What will our kids have to safeguard our kids from the confidence that we need to instill in our adult children to pass On. And does that work? Does the same things that work for us, that work for our parents, does that also work for our kids and our grandkids? Yes. So we're gonna jump into that. I got one more thing here.

Mary Alessi:
Let me see. Oh, I think I said it. And then what is the next generation saying about their future? About what the future is beyond them. Because we've had so many awesome conversations with our adult kids more and more and more. Because we're looking at the world today, and it's like every morning you wake up, there's so much to talk about. Because you checked your phone, right? Oh, Lord. There's just so much that you could start a conversation with your kids, whether it's the latest on Justin Bieber or the latest on Kim Kardashian or Kim Kardashian. Anybody? Yeah.

Mary Alessi:
And then what's happening in the news with whatever. I mean, it's just crazy, crazy, crazy. And our kids, we have found this next generation. Our kids are way more into the conversations. We could have cared less. News was so boring. But now. Walter Cronkite.

Mary Alessi:
I know. Now, if my dad had the news on, I'd be like, ugh, we go sit outside or something. I know. But now news is not news anymore. Everything's salacious. It is. Everything has just been turned into a gigantic reality show of the worst kind. None of it's real.

Mary Alessi:
It's like the Truman Show. You know that movie that was on with Jim Carrey? I watched it the other day. It's a light version of what our world looks like right now. We don't know what truth we're getting. We don't know when we wake up and scroll through if it's AI if it's real, if it's manufactured, somebody created it. We don't know. And if we're not careful. And this one, I.

Mary Alessi:
This is one of the things I've told my children. And they told me I'll be real. They told me, research the research. Like, you better know. Don't just repost something. Don't just get it. Yeah. Oh, my God.

Mary Alessi:
Because it kind of creates and stimulates something in you that you're like, it's true. It's gotta be. You better dig a little. Be a researcher. Google it. Like, find out who wrote that article. And our generation's like, well, forget it. I thought it was funny, right? I thought it was.

Mary Alessi:
That dog didn't really die when it fell from that Eagle. That was 2000, right? Read the story. That's not how that Ended. I just. That happened to me recently. Right. The guy, the dog that's laying beside the casket. And that's, you know, blubbering.

Mary Alessi:
That's. That's not real. That's Photoshop. Like, what? So if it's real hard for kids, hard work is have to look over our shoulders. I know. And go, please do not post that. Don't take that down. Because that didn't make any sense.

Mary Alessi:
And, you know, we both work with our kids. You've got three. Yeah, I've got four. The oldest among our seven is 31. My son, Chris. Then Danielle just turned 30. And then Nicole is 28. Stephanie's going to be 26.

Mary Alessi:
Nathan's gonna be 26 next week. Yeah. So we had a baby every year for seven years. We didn't. I messed up my mic. I'm sorry. No, it's fine. We didn't see each other for like a long time.

Mary Alessi:
It was pointless to get together. Cause it was like, what? We're just taking care of babies, children. Between us, we made seven people. I know. Two girls made seven people. It's crazy. And now they're all working with us. You have a church, you and your husband have a church.

Mary Alessi:
And your kids are on staff. And people ask us all the time. I know. They ask you, how did you do it and how do you make it successful? Well, honestly, today we aren't just dealing with values on the job, work ethic. We're not just dealing with, are you gifted to do your job? Is this nepotism or not? Honestly, we don't even, you know, we've figured those things out. The importance of the family unit and explaining that and that being as a role model, we understand the power of that. That it is what it is. It's not where we look like we're happy family behind the scenes.

Mary Alessi:
We're not a happy family. No. Right. We understand the power of presenting honesty, integrity, and we are what you think we are. I gotta say, I think I've learned that, learned a lot from you. But because you guys have patched for so many years and we're just kind of up and coming pastors. But you and Pastor Steve, I should say Pastor Steve. Steve.

Mary Alessi:
The honesty and the transparency that you guys display all the time, like you guys are an open book. You share things most people will never in a million years have the guts to share. But it's your truth. It's the truth that makes people go, okay, if he'll tell that on himself. If she'll say that, okay, like Even arguments in front of people over carpet. Right. You know, I would. I grew up thinking that everybody has to think that we never argue and that we have to just.

Mary Alessi:
Right. We don't fight because we're pastors. We've conquered that. And to find the freedom to say, oh, no, guys, if you think we didn't fight on the way to church today, you crazy. But we did. You know what I'm saying? And people love it. But it sets people free because the truth sets free. But if you only create this Persona of perfection.

Mary Alessi:
Oh, they don't have the problems like I have, then that truth that you have can't get to them. No. And it starts with our kids. That's what I mean. It started at home. We've been that way with our four kids, probably to the point where they wish we wouldn't sometimes. But honesty is honesty, because two things. It sets you free, but it also builds confidence.

Mary Alessi:
You know where you stand. They know where they stand. I can't tell you how many times one of the girls, when they all lived at home, was. Would run downstairs on a Sunday morning, and Steve and I would be in the room. It still happens, but they're pretty much brainwashed now. But they'd run downstairs and Steve would go, let me see your outfit. Because they'd be on the platform. And he would go, mary, talk to her.

Mary Alessi:
That's how it was. Because he didn't want to have to say it. Or he would tell Chris, you gotta iron that shirt, man. You're on the platform. That does not look good. And he would fight through truths. If the kids would go, and they'd get mad. I don't know.

Mary Alessi:
Well, I don't have the money. Well, let's go shopping. But you're not wearing those pants. They're too tight. Or. Or that skirt doesn't look. You look hoseless. My God, you're not a crystal meth.

Mary Alessi:
Go brush your hair. So when they were younger, because we wanted our kids to be a part of ministry, and we knew part of that was presentation. And when you're afraid to tell your kids the truth and you think you're crushing them, you really don't have any faith in your kids that they can handle the truth. So I think that that goes beyond just working with your kids, because now our kids are all grown, getting married, having children, and we are watching them more and more say something that we love hearing. Yeah. How much we were right. Yes. It's given them such a sense of confidence.

Mary Alessi:
And I say it this way. It's a bedrock that they stand on. It's a foundation of principles of truth that you're not going to argue with them. We've actually made like monsters to some degree because they're dealing with, and I say that lightly, but they're dealing with the social media ills. Their generation has been born with the phone in their hand and social media as a way of communicating. Yeah. And we've talked a lot about that with our kids and our kids are teaching us because they don't want us on it that much. No, I.

Mary Alessi:
I know this statistic. And it's absolutely accurate that social media is scientifically designed to make you unhappy. Yep. It's not an afterthought. Oh, we didn't know. Unintended consequence. No, no, no. It's designed to make you have the worst fomo because it's always about what you don't have.

Mary Alessi:
And what else could I have? Because that's why it's monetized. Because now, that's why it's the greatest sales place that you shopping venture that you could go on is on Instagram. That's right. People would have never even just a few years ago bought something off Instagram. Never. Now it's becoming the second Amazon. Absolutely. You know, I mean, we've got to know when we go into these things that if we just feel bad all the time.

Mary Alessi:
Well, my friend's kids have it. And I feel bad and I didn't wanna say anything. Cause I feel bad and I know that it's not good for my kid and they're spending too much time in their room, but I felt bad. Okay. You're gonna feel crushed if you don't get over feeling bad. And I remember what you were just telling that story about Steve making the kids come down. And I. And if we're being really honest here, I have not always backed up Danny.

Mary Alessi:
We're gonna edit this out, right? This is gonna be edited. This is for us. No, there's no editing. There's no editing, so watch it. Stay. Okay. No, but there has been times where he wanted to take a bigger stand. And I thought for the sake of meltdown, conflict.

Mary Alessi:
It's not that bad. It's fine. Let it go. Yeah. And I found myself doing that more and more until a few years ago. We were all sitting at a restaurant, the four of us, you and Steven and Dan and I. And there was a really big situation happening in our family. And I had taken more.

Mary Alessi:
I knew it wasn't the direction that I wanted our Family to go in, but because I thought, I can't control this. No one's listening to me. I might as well just absorb it and expect it and make the best of a bad situation. That's what my thoughts were. And I remember saying that, and Dan was, like, adamant, we're not doing this. And I was like, yeah, but maybe we should just. We can't really control it. And I remember Steve going, mary, talk to your sister.

Mary Alessi:
Talk to your. Like, he was getting so agitated in me, like, talk. I can't. I don't. I don't even. I don't have time for you right now. And I'm so. Most people would have gotten up and walked out of the room.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah, Yeah, I am. And I. I knew truth when I heard it. And I thought, what I'm doing is not working. My empathy and apathy towards something that is something that I have settled for and not what I have said I wanted. Right. Is ridiculous. No, I say.

Mary Alessi:
I'm gonna interject here. I just said this on a recent podcast. When you parent from the position of, I don't ever want to deal with my kids when they're mad, sad or unhappy, whatever, mad or sad, then what you've done is you've let emotions take the lead. You take emotions in a moment that to a kid, the minute they run upstairs, they're not still processing their moment. They're just mad because they're kids over a pair of jeans or over a shirt or over a party they can or cannot go to. And when you don't hold down and let dad be, if he feels it's wrong, he's their parent, too. He has a right to say no. Sometimes as moms, we are missing how our kids are formed and designed.

Mary Alessi:
That's why dads, sometimes they can see that the bad part of our kids that we're blind to. And moms, we struggle. I know I did. But I remember when Steve got in my face and said, I don't want you. Chris was, like, 18. I. I don't want to see you in his room again helping him with a situation. Wow.

Mary Alessi:
You stay out of his room. And we'd been arguing and fighting. And I tell the truth, I thought Steve, in that moment, just wasn't talking right to Chris. Do you know what my son told me about two years later when his frontal lobe started to fuse? And he wasn't such an idiot, right? He goes, mom, I knew I had you wrapped around my finger. Wow. See that? And then I knocked him out and we got Up. Bryce says, why did you tell me that? No, but that's true. Yeah.

Mary Alessi:
That I was being sucked into this vortex because he was mad or sad or he was feeling emotions that he needed to feel. And we're actually so bad. We soften, Raised to deal with it. Yeah. And it made us stronger. I know. And we're softening the blow that needs to come. We're softening something that is the one thing that will shape them and help them for the future.

Mary Alessi:
And, you know, I'm not gonna say, you know, let's bash moms. That's not what I'm saying. I'm grateful. And I think we definitely soften our husbands. And we do have to have empathy, and we do have to say, have a conversation and relate and all of those things. But I think there is more of that. It's, dare I say, the feminization. Oh, that's it.

Mary Alessi:
If we're not careful, we're overly feminized. When we need that strong authority, that male structure that can walk in, call it like it is, doesn't care, you know, let the chips fall where they may. So. So let's look at it. That's not so tied, the emotions. So the plan of God, I was a working mom. You're a working mom. I'm all for working moms.

Mary Alessi:
I get it. But I'm seeing more and more young women want to be home with their children. Yes. Their moms were working. They were latchkey kids. They want to come home. Okay. But I find it interesting that the original plan was mom stayed home all day with the kids, saying, wait till your dad gets home.

Mary Alessi:
And then when dad gets home, he's only there for a couple hours before the kids go to bed. So you don't have an overdose of dad. You have an overdose of Mom. You spend the majority of your time with your. With your mom. You get these split seconds with your dad. So he's got to come in and be hard. Yeah.

Mary Alessi:
And you. Well, no. What do we say? Wait till your dad gets home. You wait till your dad gets home. You wait. So he's the bully that's going to come home and set everything right, and he's okay with that. And he loves that, actually. He comes in and he loves his kids.

Mary Alessi:
But when we think now we've taken that, Mom's out of the home all the time, Dad's out of the home all the time, and we come home and the balance is off. Yeah. And I say that because it's in the language, and I feel like it's bleeding into our overall filtering system. Like we filter everything through the lens of men are too hard, women are too soft, or women need to be harder. All these crazy lenses. And the truth of the matter is we are not being confident at home in our roles. Yes. And we wonder why we're having all this issue with gender fluid binary, nobody knows who they are, confusion.

Mary Alessi:
There are more single parents than there are married men. Fact check me. Yeah. There are more people being raised by single parents. Right. We have more and more gay couples raising children. That's right. Okay, what are the problems with that? Well, we gonna find out.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah. Because we know the problems that we're having with just mom in the house. Yeah. Or just dad in the house. Yeah. So you can. You can figure it out and do it however you want to do it. But here's what has been tested since the beginning of time.

Mary Alessi:
The best solution for healthy kids, the next generation, is a present mom and a present father. You cannot argue with that. That's right. You can try and you can. That's what you want to be. So say that's what you want, but don't mess with a nuclear family. A system that's worked. That's like saying, we've decided that two plus two isn't going to be four anymore.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah. Because we don't want it to be right. Right. Well, you can make it five, but for the processes of this classroom. Yeah, that's right. And teaching the next generation, we're gonna keep it what it really is. And that's what principle living. Mom used to say this all the time.

Mary Alessi:
You build your life on principles, not on wishes and hopes. You build on principles, the foundations of the things that we know work. That's what you build your life on. So that when storms come and problems come and culture shift and you're not shifting, shaped by the culture, you're firm. You know what's right, you know what's wrong. And so whatever is thrown at you, you're not. You might be confused for a day or two, but you go back to. You write yourself with, I know, but I know what truth is.

Mary Alessi:
I know what's right. I know what makes sense. And honestly, when you think about social media, like I said earlier, it's designed to make you unhappy. It's always because you're reaching for something you don't have. You're reaching. And then they portray these lifestyles that. How do I get that? The average person makes a million dollars a month selling, you know, some, you know, a Candle. You know, and then they make these beautiful videos, and we're all constantly trying to keep up, keep up, keep up, quit our jobs and be an influencer.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah. And it's. Well, the truth is, you're already an influencer. Right. You know, as a parent, as. As a single woman, as a single man, the best thing you can give society is to be the best you. You can be is to know truth. To know what? To be confident.

Mary Alessi:
Right. Especially as single. Because, I mean, you've got two kids married and two kids single. I've got three kids that are single. Right. And the. The kind of. The stage of life that they're walking in now, they're not dating as.

Mary Alessi:
As much. They're not. No. At all. No. It's. It scared us. A few years ago, we were like, what in the world? We've got to get.

Mary Alessi:
We need four more young men. Yeah. And we need another beautiful girl for your son Nathan. Right. Oh, my God. And we started feeling like it's not gonna happen. I mean, we're both surrounded by a lot of single young adults. And the fear.

Mary Alessi:
You were talking about being a confident single. Being a confident, single young mother. Being confident. Confidence is the most sexy thing you can have. It is. You've got to walk in confidence. And where do you get confidence in absolute truths? Walk in that. But what we have found in my older two getting married, we're learning in this culture that the same principles apply in our culture.

Mary Alessi:
Yes. We just had this conversation that. It's so funny. They're watching Love is Blind. They're watching these reality TV shows about dating, and they just look at them and laugh because we're over their shoulder going, this is stupid. This is dangerous. Right. You know, we have no problem.

Mary Alessi:
We speak our mind. Our kids have gone through the process of going, you can't say that. They learn their lesson, don't tell us what we can and cannot say. This is my house. If it's true, I'm saying it. That's right. You are my kids, and you're going to hear the truth. That's right.

Mary Alessi:
And that's the confidence that our mother instilled in us. She still does it to you and me. Oh, yeah. She'll go, what in the world are y' all saying? She just. And we listen to her. She's right. Why? Because she's 81 now. She's lived double our lifetime.

Mary Alessi:
She's experienced things. She's been through three more presidents and the world on fire than we have. And she understands. She has A higher perch to be able to see. She does. So when we look at our kids from this perspective of being afraid of them getting married, interestingly, mom was never freaked out about it. Never. And here she got married at 18, we got married at 19, and we're starting to wring our hands a little bit when our kids were.

Mary Alessi:
Nobody got married at 19. And our kids now it's 25. Turn of the century now. Just. I know from our generation getting married and who they're not dating. Well, you know why guys aren't asking girls out? No. And this is the unhappy part, because we've bought into this social media, and I'm grateful for it. I believe there's good parts, there's great parts, and we understand that.

Mary Alessi:
But I believe, again, designed to make you unhappy, and not just unhappy with yourself, but unhappy with your decisions. It makes you just feel like you picked a sure straw. Yeah. Make sure you don't. So don't pick it all. Cause you might get the short straw, you might get the one. And that's what you experience when you're like elementary school and junior high. Not as an adult.

Mary Alessi:
No, as an adult, you. You have more of an understanding that, you know, love is a decision. It is a decision. And there's good and bad and everything. And you just go, this one makes my heart flutter. We're 80% there. Let's go. You know what I'm saying? But now it's gotta be perfection because I'm unhappy all the time.

Mary Alessi:
I've gotta find somebody that meets all this criteria every single day and never has a bad day. Exactly. And so. And then they're saying that I think 68% of single men are not even dating. I know, because, well, a lot of it is pornography. So they're getting their needs met there. And then they're just scrolling. And then they're on all of these dating apps and all of those websites.

Mary Alessi:
And so if I take a girl out that I kind of like and she agrees to go out and she has one thing I don't like, I just keep swiping. They don't even make it past the first date because they're looking for flaws. Because we know so much about somebody now. So when Steve asked me out, and we talked about this, when Steve asked me out for the first time, he was so clear. Hey, I like you. I want to take you out. I was like, okay. And I was not, like, in love.

Mary Alessi:
I was not hoping he'd ask me out. I wasn't even there. I was so young. You were dating Danny. You'd been dating Danny for a while. And we went out to this Italian restaurant in Coconut Grove and we sat down and he made it so clear. He was all into me. And I remember feeling like he is just too much.

Mary Alessi:
Back up. And so we go to get in the car and I was very innocent. And he goes, can I kiss you? And I wanted to say no. I was like, no. But I went, okay. It was so just juvenile. And he kissed me and I was like, okay. And we got.

Mary Alessi:
I look back and I go, oh, my God, what a goofball. He should not have given me a second date. No, no, no. He should have said, okay, she's a weirdo, she's a moron. This girl does not know. Because he was seven years older than me and he should have done that. But he looked at the potential. Yes.

Mary Alessi:
And he said. And he says this, which sounds so misogynist, but it's true. It's the truth. He goes, I knew that because she. All the things that were mattered to me. You loved God, you came from a good family. Yeah. Mom was hot.

Mary Alessi:
You mom looked good. He goes, you're mom. That's. Don't be stupid, people. Come on, don't be stupid. You better, you better look. You better, you better look a couple times. There's nothing wrong with that.

Mary Alessi:
So then the next thing, thing I know, he's like, let's go out. We're gonna go play golf. And we went. And he rented a golf cart and picked me up. We didn't. He didn't even touch me on that day. I remember that. And we went on the golf cart and we giggled and laughed and I could not hit anything but grass, right? And he was irritated, but it was funny.

Mary Alessi:
And we started learning each other and I found a friend and my attraction grew, right? And I. And I remember sitting with mom going, I'm feeling this and are you sure? And. And she would say, okay, well, here's the things about him that are good. And the next thing I knew, I had a ring on my finger. We were getting married 35 years later. I know, best decision I ever made. But his mom was not manipulating it, but she was pushing it to some degree. I could say.

Mary Alessi:
We were prearranged, of course. Thank God. I know. Thank God. My mother in law went to our mother and said, faith, don't tell the kids, but I had a dream. I saw Mary in a wedding dress coming down the aisle marrying Steve. They didn't tell us, but they were working behind the scenes, honestly, Christopher and Stephanie, my daughter and her husband, same thing. Same with his mom and me.

Mary Alessi:
We didn't manipulate. We just helped two people that in this generation are having a little bit of a hard time. So confidence in knowing the same principles work. Yes. Nothing's really changed. And I'll tell you, your kids, as much as they fight, that they need that, they need it. And I always say, be loyal to the future in the decisions you're making now. Be loyal to the future.

Mary Alessi:
So good. Don't diminish your decisions now because it's just easy and you don't wanna, you don't want the conflict. You know what? Just like that two year old, you wouldn't have said, well, I don't wanna fight that child, so I'm gonna let it run out into the street. That's right. Well, no, you're not gonna do that. That four year old, that eight year old, you're gonna say, I'm your parent, you do what I say. Now as they get older, you're not gonna say you do as I say, but you still stay in that place of authority in their life until they're married. That, that's one of the things I have learned even with my 30 year old.

Mary Alessi:
I'll even tell her, put your feet down. It's like she's 30, get up. Stop talking like that. You know what I'm saying? She still does. You're gonna wear those. I know. Is that really what you wear? Right? What is that? Where did you get those pants? Oh my lord, that's. These are look so crazy, you know, I mean that, I mean that's the privilege of being a mother.

Mary Alessi:
That's it. And, and you can say things other people can't say. That's right. So don't give that away. Don't relinquish that. So let me just say I've got a grandchild, little granddaughter, she's a year and one on the way, two on the way. Okay. You are right behind me and you're gonna see this.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah. It starts as soon as they see these devices now. Oh, okay. And our kids watched VeggieTales. We were very protective of what they watched. Right. So when we're talking about being a confident parent, being strong, not giving into the culture, not feeling like you have to helping your kids, don't stop helping them because they reach a certain age, steer them around things that are good for them and not good for them, and don't be afraid to speak up and say, that's Just ridiculous. If you don't like the word stupid, fine, Right? Just say, I think you should rethink that if that helps you.

Mary Alessi:
Gentle parenter. Right. But you set the culture in your home and your kids know you love them, right? Because you come back with a lot of love or that's dangerous. Don't even look at that. Don't go out with that young man. He is not for you. You have a right as a parent to speak up. Yes, that is your right.

Mary Alessi:
Now, once they get married, you shut your mouth. That's right. But I can tell you, starting over again with a one year old now more and more we see it is the intent of the world right now. And the evil world is to infiltrate them as early as babes. Because there's shows on YouTube. YouTube? We didn't even have YouTube. Now YouTube. I don't leave my TV on.

Mary Alessi:
I turn it off because I never know what video's coming on next. I told Steve when my grandkids are at my house. And the reason I'm going here is because we truly believe the same values that work for our parents that worked for us. It's not about how bad the world is. It's about the parenting styles and the values of. Values of mom and dad that you hold fast and you don't give into the culture because your friend's kids like it. So now there's a show on tv. I'm not gonna name all the shows, but there's a YouTube channel of a young lady that is like 700 million.

Mary Alessi:
It's crazy how many people watch. And it's for babies and toddlers. Yeah, I'm watching this with my 1 year old and when I tell you the minute she sees it, it's like she's hypnotized. If I wanted her to be at my house and sit on the couch and watch it for an hour as a one year old, while I did something else, she would sit there literally hypnotized. It's cute, it's funny, it's teaching her how to speak. There's a lot of good content. Phenomenal contribution to a baby's development. It is still fake.

Mary Alessi:
It is not real. It's not a real face. But I am noticing as we're watching these videos, there's a whole lot of LGTBQ imagery. Not necessarily dads and dads and moms and moms. I know what you mean. I know what you mean. But there's pictures. There are people that are just quickly.

Mary Alessi:
You don't know what Gender. They are. Right. And I called my daughter and I said, you've got to make a choice. She's one year old. Yeah, she's a year old. Martha. Wow.

Mary Alessi:
So here's the thing. The principles don't change. You just got to start earlier. Now you've got to shelter your children. You've got to say, if you see something that you know is intentional. Yes. To help shape their minds, turn it off. That's right.

Mary Alessi:
Be present. Yes. So the truth is, it's just more dangerous now. It is. It's a lot more urgent. Same principles apply. But you've gotta be a lot more intentional. You do.

Mary Alessi:
And I think about, you know, what our kids were watching 20 years ago, 22, 23 years ago. And there was a show called Gullah, Gullah island that was our kids favorite and it was School Bus. Oh my gosh. There was just so many great things. You would have never even thought that that would have infiltrated. It was so you'd leave the kids alone. You could, they couldn't. Just don't come after the kids.

Mary Alessi:
Right, Exactly. And I think some people feel as if, well, it's gonna get bad, but I'll be able to monitor. I'll be able to. People will be outraged. Everybody will be outraged if it goes to this degree. When I think about what 20 years, how our world has radically ramped up, shifted in a way I would have thought it would take 50 years to do. Where we are, or if ever where we are with the language, what's being pushed on our children, the agenda is being pushed in our, the, the, you know, just. I want to be able to live in a world where nobody knows who is what and transhuman.

Mary Alessi:
You know, everybody's just. Can be whatever they want to be. It's so anti creation and God, but that's what it's going away from. People can see if we think that that same, the same people that are kind of asleep at the wheel now won't be asleep at the wheel in 20 years. When, oh, when Gia is 20, looking back on what she like, what our children are going to be left with. And this is why we can say, well, it's just going to happen. What can we do? No, we, we keep talking, keep speaking, keep pouring that into your children. Don't.

Mary Alessi:
This is why we say don't be shaped by the culture. Right? Do not be shaped by the culture. The culture is always changing. It's changing and it's going to lead you down the wrong path. Like even with Instagram Use Instagram as the tool that it's designed to be and then turn it off and get books and read books to your kids. Listen, Madonna, I'll just say this really quick. Madonna, when she was raising her little kids, you know what she said? I don't let my kids watch tv. Unbelievable how many celebrities I don't let my kids.

Mary Alessi:
Well, you let my kid. You poisoned a lot of kids. You poisoned all these kids. But yet you know the power of this. And you're okay. That's all I needed to hear. I'm unplugging. Absolutely, I'm unplugging.

Mary Alessi:
And there's so many great alternatives for your kids that they can watch. But the truth is it's not only designed to make you sadder and more emotional. This is designed to really hypnotize you. It is because we all, all of us fight it. And I see Deanna and there's some things, and I gotta say this, I know we're getting over time just a little bit, but something hit me the other day and I know it's cute and funny, but these phones have filters. You could be a cat, you could be a dog. I know what you're gonna say. I could have a sad face, you could have a happy face.

Mary Alessi:
And there was a video of a little two year old going, no, mommy, no. I don't like it, I don't like it. And it was fun and it went viral because she put the sad face on the little girl. And I thought we have so much dysphoria right now where it's women are getting their faces done and redone and eyebrows put on, eyebrows taken off, bodies changed. And now the gender dysphoria is all time crazyville. Don't put a filter on your child. And if your kid, your daughter, I'm gonna say this, say it. Cause right now, this is important.

Mary Alessi:
Is 12 and younger. Don't let her wear makeup. Don't. I agree with that. Do not let her wear makeup. Don't let her put those filters on her face because it sends a message to her brain that she is not emotionally capable to handle. We wore thick glasses, Most of us did. And braces.

Mary Alessi:
And we're letting little girls put these four years old. I know. Don't let them see themselves in a full face of makeup. Or even back a few years ago. One of the filters that came out on it was before TikTok. One of the filters that came out, I want to say, on Instagram was changing your gender. What I. What would I look like, as a man.

Mary Alessi:
And I remember Nicole, one day, we were sitting around the couch and she was like, five, four or five years ago, and she changed the filter to make herself a man. And everybody in the room was like, delete that right now. Yeah. There was something about it that was like, that's sinister. It's sinister. She's like, what are you talking about? It's cute. I said, it is not cute. Delete it.

Mary Alessi:
That's right. And then to think four or five years later, where we are. We've been set up. We have. We've been set up. And I would say to moms and dads that when you feel that feeling. Yes. Don't start questioning.

Mary Alessi:
Oh, oh, But I don't want to be that person. I don't want to be judgmental. I don't want people to think I'm. Yeah, who cares what people think you are? Who cares what people I know? I want a list of the people you're thinking about in your mind right now. Who? People you don't know. People at work. Who cares. You got to raise your kids.

Mary Alessi:
So don't stop in your tracks from doing something that is protecting your children. And you feel that in your gut feeling because of what people will think about you. Because there's somebody going, I wish somebody would stand up. I know. And if they did, I would. I know. And then when you do, they do. Oh, my gosh.

Mary Alessi:
Yes. And that's where we're at right now. The more voices that are speaking truth than that, whatever that sinister plot is, can't infiltrate, it will, because it's just the way the world is. But we can't use it as well. That's how the world is. Well, the thing is, this is how the world. That's how culture goes. Okay, but this is how we go.

Mary Alessi:
But when you give it over under those pretenses, I don't want to. Because I don't want to think we will eventually. And I don't want to get into politics. But we just watched the documentary on Norway, okay. And what is happening in that country? And if you haven't go look at it, they are separating families. Spanking is illegal. Yeah. And if anybody went and said, I saw you in a restaurant and you took your child, who was biting your other child and moved them away, the government can come in and take your child, and not only can they do and they will remove your child.

Mary Alessi:
How did they get there? How do they get there? They change the minds slowly but surely of parents to where the government knows Better than you. Right. And if we don't stop that in its tracks, it might not be the government in America, but it's the media or it's social media or it's people around me or it's people at school. Don't give up your authority. Don't. The Bible says it. Don't cast away your confidence. Stand in the confidence and the authority that you have over your children and know what's good for them and what's not good for them and be okay to be the mom that makes your kids mad because you make them turn things off or you don't let them watch the things, the principles don't change.

Mary Alessi:
That's the point. From our generation to Gianna, my one year old. And I am at the stage where. And I'm gonna say it, I'm just gonna say it, we're in a place now that we have to stand up against and believe what we believe, no matter who in the White House is saying whatever they're saying. I mean, our president said right before he was elected, he stood on a town hall and said, as a woman raised her hand and said, what do I do about my 9 year old who wants to transgender, who wants to transition? And he said, I would remove every limitation, any restriction. Any child should be able to get whatever they feel like they need. And so that same thought process, that same language of abortion, people should be able to do what is right for them and that the doctor and that person knows. Now we've moved it into this, so it's so slick.

Mary Alessi:
And now it's like this person with this child, they should be able to do what their parent, what they feel their doctor thinks is right for them. So it's removing all of these absolutes, it's removing all of these. But we know statistically that's not gonna work. Doesn't matter. Whatever you feel, whatever you want. Well, we have voices screaming, don't let them do this. I did it. I transitioned.

Mary Alessi:
And I hate my life. And it's hell. And the people around me should have stopped me, that my doctor should have stopped me. And I can't change. Transition back. And life is so hell. Well, we can't listen to them, right? Whatever. My nine year old, if he wants to be a cat, he can be a cat.

Mary Alessi:
And that's where parents have to be strong enough to say, okay, the world can get as crazy as it. That's right. But in our house, we're not going to get crazy. I want to say this too, because I think it's important for listeners, it's important for moms and dads to understand this. But the drag shows that are being propagated and we see all these Hollywood celebrities, all you have to know is this what's being fought for. Drag shows have been around for decades. Yeah, decades. Yeah.

Mary Alessi:
Back in our dad's day, they would have comedic shows that were funny and that were. Men would dress as women. It was funny. They weren't women. They were dressed up. They were. Right? They were dressed up as women. They were men dressed up.

Mary Alessi:
And it was a comedy. Okay. How many black actors to be famous had to be a woman in a movie to be funny? Okay. That's a whole nother thing. Right. And they hated it. Right. But we're not talking about accepting drag queens.

Mary Alessi:
We've accepted drag queens. Right. We've got drag queens doing drag shows here in Miami for years and years and years. It's been a thing. Stop a second, right? And think. Drag shows for kids, Right? I took Gabby at 4 on a Disney cruise. Captain Hook came around. The Little Mermaid came around.

Mary Alessi:
She screamed bloody murder. Right. What makes parents think that kids will not be terrified and traumatized to see a 6 foot 4 man in drag? He looks scary. Yeah. Terrifyingly scary. How in the world are we staying quiet on that part? If kids are in the mix at all. Yeah. There's an issue.

Mary Alessi:
So let's just look at the argument. Drag shows for kids, babies, children, toddlers. What in the world? Not even just drag shows. But why not just overly sexualized for no reason. So can we have. And we've said this. Why aren't we taking our kids to strip clubs? Can we have striptease for kids? Why aren't we accepting women who are being. What's the word? Sexualized.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah. Why isn't that. Okay. And this is why. Mary the swarm. Somebody answer that question. You can't. Because it's called confusion and chaos.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah, totally. And it's all. We just want it all. We want to be able to do whatever we want to do without you saying anything. This is why what you said and what we started at this, the top of this show podcast with. Don't throw away your confidence. Yes. Because the world's going to get worse when we have leaders of the free world that are not even taking into consideration what they're saying and they're just whoever you vote for, whatever, they all do it to some extent now at this stage of our life.

Mary Alessi:
Okay, whatever. It's not a political issue. This is about what's being propagated onto our children. What's being said at the highest level. Yes. And laws and legislation is being passed. And laws, you know, laws don't even have to pass. It's in the language of the culture.

Mary Alessi:
That's right. It can be. It's not against the law, but it's in now. I feel pressed to go that way because I went to my doctor and I filled out the form and there's all these different now genders I've got. So it's in the language. You're not gonna get it out. It's everywhere. You're not gonna get it out.

Mary Alessi:
So you have to know that where you're going, what you believe, you better stand steadfast and know you're doing right. This is what I told our mothers on Mother's Day. I said, if you are working and loving your kids and raising your kids and feeding your kids and teaching and bringing them to church, you are a hero. You're doing it right. Yeah. You're better than the majority of people out there. You're doing a great job. They just cried.

Mary Alessi:
No, you're doing a great, great job. Your kids love you and, and just stay in that. Stay confident. Stay confident. Stay true to what you know. And that's a great place to end this podcast. Cuz we went over again. But who thought we wouldn't? I don't know, whoever the person behind the booth thought we would stick to 30 minutes.

Mary Alessi:
I mean, Ashley's like, I didn't. That's their bad. Danielle's in there. She clapped. She didn't hear what you said about her. Oh no, she did. She said she heard it. It was all good.

Mary Alessi:
And thank you, Martha for coming in here. This was, was fun. This was on the regular. What we should just do is just put like, we don't even need cameras. We just put microphones on. Oh, that would be wherever we are. We're just like hidden. No, that would be bad.

Mary Alessi:
We would be canceled. We would be canceled. So thank you for listening, watching wherever you are today to another episode of the Family Business with the Alessi. Thanks so much. Thanks to Martha for being here in the studio with me. So much more to come. Make sure you share this podcast with everybody. Have a great day.

Martha Munizzi:
You've just enjoyed another episode of the Family Business podcast with the Alessi's and we can't thank you enough for being a part of our podience today. Now that you've learned more about us, here's how you can join in in the Family Business. First, make sure you're following our podcast right now and download this episode so you can hear it at any time. Second, think of someone you know that might need or enjoy this episode and share it with them. You'll be helping them and helping us to spread the word about the family business. Third, go to alessifamilybusiness.com and tap the Ask the Alessis button. This is really cool. You could use it to record a voicemail comment or question and we can add your voice to our conversations.

Martha Munizzi:
Finally, while you're on our page, tap the Reviews tab and you'll see a link to leave a review on Apple Podcasts. We love reading your reviews and we might even share them on the show. Thanks again for joining us and we'll see you next time at the Family Business with the Alessi's because family is everybody's business.