Newlywed Shock! Our Journey from Engagement to Our First Months of Marriage

WEBVTT

00:00:00.112 --> 00:00:11.484
But we do have to give our husband some grace because we do feel like I can have my habits. And then the minute that his habits impede on mine or get in the way of us, well, you can't have your habits.

00:00:15.853 --> 00:01:16.435
Welcome back to the Family Business Podcast with the Alessis. I am Gabby and I am on, joined by my husband Christian. Yeah. Welcome back to the podcast, everybody. This is really cool. This is cool because usually I'm, I'm not used to the Family Business podcast alone and introing. I'm used to the My Morning podcast, but now you're with me and we're alone in the studio and it's our first podcast that we get to do on the family business. Married. Married together. Together. We've done a couple separately. I know I did one with the guys about hunting and then we did the He Said, She Said, which was a ton of fun. That one was really good. If you haven't watched those two episodes, please go back and watch them because they got a lot of good comments, a lot of great feedback. And one of the ladies, she's married for like 15 years already, and she's like, I never thought that men thought that way. It's like, oh, well, there you go. There you go. So go back and listen to it. But yeah, it's our first time doing it together. How do you feel? I feel good. This is fun. You know, I love the— you guys call it the Pawdience. We call it the Pawdience.

00:01:17.120 --> 00:01:24.189
So I love the Pawdience here. I know we've— they've been doing it for a while. They're reaching close to a million views, right, on the YouTube.

00:01:24.447 --> 00:02:11.151
I think that'll be— we'll reach a million by the time this is released. So that's really exciting. But, but yeah, no, I'm excited to dive into what we're going to talk about today. And I know we've got this little, little keychain here. And if you don't know what this is, Alan and Blair, who help run the Family Business Pod behind the scenes, they gave us an email questionnaire of what we want to talk about, and it's color-coded to the person. So we basically, like, pick something out of this and we talk about it each and every single episode. So I think that's already been done before, right? So I think we're just following in the footsteps. But I love this little thing. I love this little thing. Makes it easy. We all have colors. We all have colors. We all have colors. Which one's your color? I think I'm red. You're red. Okay. I'm black. I've got some good— I've got some good topics that we'll cover in just a bit.

00:02:11.730 --> 00:02:15.292
There's some interesting ones. There's some interesting ones in there. We're not going to touch.

00:02:15.518 --> 00:02:25.734
No, I think they're your parents. I think they've already talked about them. No, we also— we want to let you guys know We did do a whole week of the My Morning Devotional podcast, which is a daily devotional.

00:02:25.943 --> 00:03:11.906
Every single day we get to share, open the word of God. So if you want to go and listen to that as well, it was really encouraging for some people. You came on to the podcast and people loved you. Yeah, you got so much good feedback. So good for you. Hopefully we get as much feedback. So with that being said, I do want to say something to that. What I do want to say something to that, and it goes into your comment thing. I know My Morning Devotional has been historically been something that women have done that, you know, was obviously started by Allison and then you four girls have kind of branched it on. I've been talking to Chris. We've been talking about some different things. If you're a guy that listens to the Family Business Podcast and you're saying, all right, I might want something that's a My Morning Devotional type, but for guys, especially if you go to Metro, please comment in the comment section. Let us know.

00:03:12.225 --> 00:04:47.831
Let us know if there's a hunger for that, if there's a need for that, because I mean, we, love that the girls do it, but we'd love to see if there's anything that the guys want out there. I know some guys listen to the My Morning Devotional as well, but it was really cool to be on, both of us, for the entire week. That was really unique. And to see what you guys do each and every week is— how we film all of them in one day, and it's crazy. It's crazy. It's exhausting. It is exhausting. You're done. You need like a cup of tea. You need a good nap after you film those podcasts because it's really fast and you have to get in there, but it's really exciting. So go check out that. That, uh, podcast. And also when it comes to the family business, comment. Yeah. Like, subscribe. Let us know what you like. Let us know the topics that you think spoke to you or were relevant to you. Uh, we love feedback. We love to read through them. Our team here loves to go through, they'll send us some of the comments of like, hey, you got good comments today, or hey, people did not like what you talked about today. We wanna hear about that. We like all the feedback, good and bad. So let us know. And we are gonna jump into, um, just our topic today, or our conversation really, which is jumping into marriage. And we, we've only been married for a couple months. So we are very new at this. And we are not doing anything. We're not having a podcast to talk about, here's what we've learned, and we want to share with you. It's more to bring people in on our experience. And I really feel like it's, it's for the maybe people that are dating, that want to get married. Yeah, I feel like this is good for people that are engaged. And then also the people that are newly married to show them that they're not crazy. They're not alone. They're not alone.

00:04:48.411 --> 00:05:20.898
We're doing it with them. So let's— can you share a little bit of our story and an abbreviated version of our story so people have context of like how long we've known each other and all that? Yeah, well, I don't abbreviate anything, so that might be tough to shorten it. But, you know, Gabby and I have known each other our entire lives. Obviously, Gabby's parents are the pastors here at our church, Metro Life Church. They've started this church back in 1997. I was born in 2000, and my mother and my father and my family at the time— I have two older siblings. Do you see how he doesn't abbreviate anything? I don't know.

00:05:20.978 --> 00:05:31.687
I don't know why you asked me to abbreviate. I'm not gonna abbreviate. He's talking about his siblings when it's our siblings. You know that. But no, so when we went to— they initially came to Metro, I was just a baby.

00:05:31.735 --> 00:05:48.870
I don't remember the first time I was at Metro. I just remember I was always at Metro. And we actually have a great picture. Maybe they'll put it in the editing of us at my fourth birthday party in the nursery in what we the old building, which was our old building at Metro that was off— what was it? 79th.

00:05:49.062 --> 00:06:24.608
79th. So in Doral. So really, really cool. We've known each other our whole lives, but from then we really didn't talk. No, we didn't connect. I didn't like you. I think from the moment of my 4th birthday party, we didn't talk again. That was the last time we spoke. We spoke, but we would see each other all the time. We saw each other. We would do all of, like, the Christmas shows together and dances together and Easter egg hunts together. And we were always against one another. Like, we were always against one another. We're both competitive, which is very interesting getting into marriage, but we're both competitive. We're both very driven. We're both very intense. So even as kids, it was like you had your crew and I had my crew.

00:06:24.899 --> 00:06:35.541
Yeah. And I always got picked for the top spot for the Christmas plays. It was something that was just— we actually have great clips of both of us doing it when we were younger. It's true.

00:06:35.720 --> 00:09:41.389
So those are a lot of fun. It's like I'm behind you and he's like the star of the show, as always. A star is born. But no, it was a great time. And we separated, kind of went our own ways. Obviously, you continued doing what you were doing in the church. I kind of went on my own path for a little bit, which wasn't— I don't say my own path in a good way, it's a bad way, right? But finally came back to church. We started serving together. Yeah. And as we started serving together, I love the analogy your brother gave me and us at the time. You know, you're kind of just running your race and you're not focused on anything around you. You're just focused on getting there to the race, getting to the finish line. And all of a sudden you just turn to your left, you turn to your right, and you see, all right, who's running this race with me? You know, who can I join together? And we can now run this race together. And it felt like when I did look to my left, I saw you running the same race. Yeah. And you looked to your right at the same time. And, you know, we kind of saw each other running that same race together. Yeah. We said, all right, let's, let's try dating. Let's try, you know, doing it. And we were both pretty adamant that the next relationship we were going to be in was the last relationship. You know, it was going to be something that we're not dating to kind of figure each other out. We're dating to— obviously there is an aspect of that, but we're dating to really to marry. Yeah. And, you know, you made that abundantly clear on our first date. It was, it was a little bit of like, you want to share with them what you said? Our first date is a little crazy. This is a little crazy. We're on our first date. And we're sitting there, we're having a great time, and we're talking, and then we start talking about, like, the future. And, and not so much the future with each other. I would say if you are in the dating season and you like somebody and you're on that first date and you kind of want to talk about expectations or what you want for the future, it's not great to immediately involve that person in it. I think you have to figure out what you want and share what you want, because at the end of the day, you don't want to force somebody into your vision. Yeah, you want to find out that you have the same vision. You want it to be natural. You want God to give you both a vision, a shared vision that you can come together. And so we're having that conversation, and I was basically like, all I want you to know is if we're not married by 2 years, then tell me right now and we won't continue this relationship. And mind you, we're having a great— we're having a great first date. We're just like having pasta over pasta. I took her to this beautiful French place. I'm like, tell me right now. Tell me right now. And I'm like, okay. I mean, I thought we were having a good time, but yes, I— that's the plan and that's the hope. And I was like, okay, we're cool. Let's— then what do you like to eat? Yeah, yeah. But, but no, it was a great time. We had a great time at that dinner. And then, you know, it sparked a great relationship that we had for close to a year and a quarter until we got engaged. We got engaged in February, February 14th, 2025. Great day. Great day. I did it Valentine's Day. I surprised you. You weren't expecting it. You surprised me. You were struggling with that for a little bit. So maybe you can speak to that a little bit later. No, seriously, you were struggling with kind of like being engaged, like when is it going to happen, all of that. So maybe you can speak to some of the girls that are struggling with that.

00:09:42.594 --> 00:10:50.595
But no, after that, we got married October 3rd, 2025. We had a beautiful wedding here in, or down at our Dayland campus, and it was just awesome being surrounded by family, friends, people that had known us for forever. And, you know, one of the most beautiful things is you obviously have such a such a status here being, you know, Pastor Steve and Mary's daughter. You know, everybody knew you as that. And, you know, one of the beautiful things of our relationship was I felt, and you felt, and you would always tell me that it's beautiful how we know both— we both know the same people, but not as a couple. Yeah, we both know them separately. We both know families that have been raised in our church, and we both have our separate experiences with them. Obviously both great experiences. Um, but now we're joined together, and I can't imagine, you know, the Martinez's, the different, different families in our church, the Gomez's, what they were thinking when the two of us finally, you know, started dating. And then this ragtag rebellious guy joined this pastor. What's happening here? No, that's— that must have been what they thought.

00:10:50.918 --> 00:10:56.345
They were like, are you sure you want to get into this? And I said, yeah, no, I'm sure, I'm sure. That's what David Martinez told me, actually.

00:10:56.956 --> 00:11:53.231
But he did. But no, I mean, it's beautiful to see that we were able to join together and then all those people that have seen us separately and have loved us separately now can love us together and love us jointly. And I think we experienced that at our wedding, which is really a blessing. And it's a testament to we did things right. We did every single thing right. And I don't mean to kind of go on, but it's just the conversation of it all. You know, we were hell-bent on— we were going to be engaged last October, October 2025. Yeah. And be married around this time. Yeah. Like, that was literally our plan was March, like, right now, right now to be married and to be getting married. And well, one, thank God we didn't do that. Thank you, Lord. But at the same time, we submitted that because we felt like it was appropriate, not only to your parents, but to my parents, to your father's requests and to my parents' requests. And we submitted that and didn't say a word about it.

00:11:53.841 --> 00:12:19.197
Yeah, never said a word about one thing of we want to get married fast, we want to get married quicker. We know you have certain expectations, but we're going to bypass those expectations and try to force something on. We never did that. And we submitted to what was requested of us, right, from both families. And the beautiful thing is that God orchestrated it to— and it's funny talking about this because, you know, we don't think about this on a daily basis.

00:12:19.261 --> 00:12:22.182
You and I, you and I do not think about this on a daily basis.

00:12:22.309 --> 00:12:33.620
But that was really hard when it was happening. It was. You remember that? Like, you're talking about when we were still— when we were still submitted and like knowing, man, it's going to be like 3 years till we're married.

00:12:33.716 --> 00:13:28.828
Yeah, that was really hard. I think that it gives you so much perspective, like, because even now, I think going into this podcast, I'm like, I was telling you, let's talk about how the realities of marriage now, and you can see it as like so hard, but this was something we prayed for. Yeah, like we, we wanted this. So yeah, it's difficult, but it is— we're walking in, in an answered prayer. Exactly. And it's so funny how sometimes our, our deepest desires can almost turn into our, our now biggest stressors. Yeah. And if we're not careful and we don't balance out our our mindset and our emotions and we're not self-controlled in this season, you will take it for granted. Because you're right, we, we back— if you go back to that, that time, we were so desperate to be married. We were like, man, we just want to marry each other already. We just want to just forget all of it. And you have those conversations when you're dating, like, who cares, let's just go right now and get married. And don't do that.

00:13:29.086 --> 00:13:36.308
Do not do that, because you don't even give your, your relationship the opportunity to be celebrated and to be honored.

00:13:36.533 --> 00:17:01.293
Yeah. And when you do things right, it needs to be celebrated and it needs to be honored. That's right. And something that I took away from that season of dating, because there's one thing to find the right person and to date the right person, right? But then now when you found the right person, you've got to see, okay, what's the right timing for marriage? It's not that you have the wrong person. You might have found the person, but is the timing right? Is— are the family members— are they celebrating this? Are they ready for this? Because that was a season where my parents loved the both of us together, but there were external factors that they wanted to fall into place. And it was moments that I thought, you know, is it because I'm with the wrong person? But it wasn't. It was just the timing. And we wanted to be prepared for that. And I remember there was a moment when it was all said and done and we were engaged and we sat back and we both were like, this wasn't even our plan, but we never brought it up. And I said to you, I said, you know, submission is the, is like the quickest way to acceleration, something like that. I was like, submission, the way to get to where you want to go, the way that you can experience the things and the answered prayers, the thing you got to do is submit. We think, oh, if I'm going to achieve it, then I got to drive, I got to push, I got to make it happen. And there are certain situations and scenarios where that's true. When God's put a desire in your heart, you got to go and work, you got to go and hustle and make it happen. But there are other things that cannot be moved unless we submit. There are other things that won't happen until we fully submit. Who are we submitting to? Number one, we're submitting to the Lord and we're saying, I am, I'm waiting on you to make this happen. God, I don't want it if it's not from you. That's real submission. But then you also submit to the families, and you submit to the parents, and you submit to her parents, you submit to your parents, and you just rest in that and you wait on them. Because when we did that and we submitted it and we said, you know what, we have our dreams, but this is our plan. Our plan is October 2025, married March 2026. Then before we knew it, October 2024, My grandmother came to town and she was talking. The person you would least expect, the Holy Spirit used. And she spoke to my dad and spoke to my brother and spoke to my mom and spoke to everybody. And then our parents spoke without us knowing. And then it was one— it was Halloween on 2024. My dad's like, which was a year, it marked a year from our first date. And my dad's like, yeah, you guys can get married. Let's look at it. Let's talk about it. And then my dad even accelerated even faster. It was to us, it was next October. But he's like, no, y'all need to get married in October. And it was like such a fast thing that it was one thing to the next that I got in the car with you that night and I'm like, hey, are we ready for this? Like, they're ready now. Now it was what used to be they're not ready is now are we ready? And I think that really does speak to like, if you're in a relationship right now and you really want to go to that next step, but it's just not fitting, like it's not— the puzzle pieces aren't fitting. It might not be the person, it might be the time. And for you in this season, truly submit that, give that to the Lord. Enjoy the season that you're with this person, but you, you will be married one day. Yeah. And but you'll blink, like we literally blinked, and now we are here. Yeah.

00:17:01.758 --> 00:17:43.568
And it comes with its own sets, like it comes with its own issues, it comes with its own stressors, it comes with incredible blessings and incredible joys. But it does have different things and different things that you have to tackle in marriage that you really do need to submit the timing because the timing does matter. And you don't want to rush something. You also don't want to delay something because there's two sides of this. You could be someone that's rushing it. You could also be somebody that's delaying it. No, I don't want to get married yet. It's not the right timing. And people are telling you it's the timing. Submit to it and step into the season. So I think it's something that we learned about the timing of God. Like, the quickest way to get to where you want to go is by true genuine submission.

00:17:44.001 --> 00:18:23.211
And I— it's an important caveat, true genuine submission, because I think a lot of times what happens is, especially people our age, is there is a facade of submission in order to propel, right? And if submission is the great accelerator, well, all I have to do is submit and at least show like I'm submitting, and it will accelerate me in life. Yeah. And you almost try to frankly, like, bamboozle the Lord into, Lord, I'm submitted. Why isn't this happening yet? And the reality is you're not truly submitted. You're not truly submitted under what he's asked you to do. You're not truly submitted to what he's requested of you, to what your family members have requested of you.

00:18:23.517 --> 00:18:26.946
You might be doing it, but you're not submitted. And those are two different things.

00:18:27.059 --> 00:19:33.243
Yeah. Acting in in submission is not having a submissive heart. It's true, right? Not having a heart that says, Lord, anything and everything that you ask of me, I am going to do this for you. The other thing that you mentioned, which is an important aspect of submission, is submission is not passive. Submission is not something that I'm just submitting and wherever the waves take me, they take me. Wherever God takes me, he takes me. Yeah. No, you— because we submitted, but we had a plan. Yeah, we submitted, but we had a plan to— a plan of action that was, all right, we need to save a certain amount, we need to get a certain amount done and work and school and all of these different things so that when October comes, we can get engaged so we can get married in March 2026, right? And we were submitted to that plan through everybody that had asked us, and at the time, what we believe the Lord had asked us as well. But we didn't say, okay, we're submitted, but we're not going to work for this, we're not going to create a plan, we're not going to do all of these things. So I think it really is a unique formula of true genuine submission, but also a plan in action where the Lord says, you know, I can trust you with this because you have created a plan to do what you have to do. Yeah.

00:19:33.806 --> 00:19:50.607
And I think that really is a beautiful thing when you see it in that light, because it's not just anything about a relationship or about marriage. It's about every single thing you do in your life. Everything. Right? A door in your business, a door in your job, a door in an opera, like any type of opportunity that you're waiting to be opened. Right?

00:19:51.234 --> 00:19:58.680
And it's like, man, I haven't gotten that yet. Well, are you truly submitted? Yeah. And do you have a plan for it?

00:19:59.176 --> 00:20:10.705
Yeah. Because those are the two things that are just so, so important. So, well, I'd say to that point, a lot of people, I feel like you could— people have a tell when they're submitted.

00:20:11.683 --> 00:20:22.429
And one of the tells is the words that they speak and how they talk about it. So, you know, when someone's submitted to something and how they speak about that topic in their life.

00:20:23.167 --> 00:22:24.634
And I remember that when we first started dating, I, I knew after our first date, I think we both pretty much knew like, okay, this makes sense. It, the shoe fits. Mm-hmm. Like we're, we want to be married and, and we just gotta now wait it out and make sure everything falls into place. But because I was so strong about it, I kept bringing up marriage to you and I would talk about it. And I was with my coach one time and I always talk to her and I would say, oh my gosh, everything. And I would just talk about marriage. And she said, you know, because you can't get married right now, you have to control what you say and what you talk about with Christian. And she said, make a decision right now that you are not going to spend— you're going to take 6 months, the first 6 months of your relationship, and you're not going to talk about marriage. Don't talk about engagement. Don't talk about when you want— even because us girls, we find the caveats, right? We're like, I'm not talking about marriage, but I like this engagement ring and this is the dress that I would want. And she was like, don't even let your mind go there. Don't speak about it. And I did it. And I remember we got to 6 months, and then even at 6 months, because I wasn't in the habit of talking about it, it just kind of came upon us. Like, you brought it up. I didn't bring it up because I would always be the person talking about it. After 6 months, you started to pursue it, and then other people would ask us, so that it naturally came out. But I didn't. And then I remember when we got engaged, right before, when I was waiting, and that waiting is hard, and I gotta say, if you are not in a relationship and you see other girls that are about to get engaged and you think, oh my God, they're so, uh, what's the word, they're ungrateful because man, they're about to get engaged. We all know when you're gonna get engaged, you just gotta chill, you gotta relax. You might think that and you might be a little bit right, but also when you're in the shoes of a girl that's on the verge of getting married or getting engaged, it is the hardest thing in those 2 months, 3 months, whatever it is. You have to use a lot of self-control. Your mind is wigging out. Your family's gaslighting you, manipulating you, lying to you to keep this thing hidden.

00:22:25.134 --> 00:22:56.241
Your fiancé or your boyfriend at the time is lying to you. You feel like you can't trust anybody. And then you're also like, I'm so ungrateful because I'm, I'm getting engaged too. It's very, very difficult. But in that time, I had to go again and say, all right, I'm not gonna talk about engagement. Yeah. Until we're engaged. Yeah. I had to submit even in that season. God, I am not engaged yet. I'm not going to start planning a wedding until I'm engaged. And even then, my dad came to me and said, you need to start finding a venue because if you want to be married in October, you got to get on it.

00:22:56.289 --> 00:23:34.795
So it was always brought to us. We never pursued those things. I didn't want to pursue it. I wanted other people to bring it up to me. So even in the seasons of submission, true submission will reveal itself in the words that you speak. And how you talk about it and even how you talk to your partner about it, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, or your friends, your parents. Be mindful of that because there's been plenty of people and friends of ours that, you know, need to be submitted, but they talk about it all the time. Yeah. And it's like talking about it isn't going to help. It's not going to speed it up. It's not going to get you here faster. Yeah. And, you know, I think it puts you in a difficult position as well when it comes physically. Yeah. Right.

00:23:35.212 --> 00:23:38.874
And that's something that you and I made such an emphasis on.

00:23:39.131 --> 00:24:14.910
You know, we were not going to have sex before our marriage. Like, that was something that we drew a red line on, um, to do that. And we just finished up a great series with our young adults, you know, talking about bought and that you are bought with a price. And the idea that we live in, right, in this world is that our soul is separate from our body, right? So, and excuse me, that's a very worldly mindset. Right? That's a very Western mindset. That is, you know, these two things are separate, right? And the reality is, when Paul talks about it in 1 Corinthians, he's saying that your soul and your body are one. Yeah. And what you do with your body affects your soul.

00:24:15.038 --> 00:24:46.574
And if your soul is tied to Christ, what you do with your body affects Christ. It does. And it's now tied to Christ. And that was something that we made such an emphasis on, you know, and it got difficult, and it got more difficult the more we talked about marriage. Because you started to, and especially when you're in the engagement season, you just have to be so careful because it's like, well, it's just going to happen, right? I'm just going to be married. So why not just let it go? Why not just do it? Why not just have sex? Why not just have those moments? And that's a really difficult thing to manage and to go through.

00:24:47.954 --> 00:25:13.257
The one thing that I'll say to that is it's very similar to even how the Lord talks about his joy that was set before him, right? He endured certain things to get to that joy because the joy was worth it. And I think the joy of our wedding night, the joy of what we're living in now, was worth the wait of being like, okay, we're not going to give in to, frankly, before we're married, temptations, right?

00:25:13.320 --> 00:26:41.982
Temptations of the enemy to be drawn together before we have given our vows over to the Lord. And I think it's something that in our society has been just so normalized. It is. It's so normalized to— and please, this is not condemnation to anybody that listens to this that might be living this type of situation, but living with a boyfriend or living with a fiancé and you haven't gotten married yet, or living with a girlfriend or just living with somebody else, right, that you're having occasional physical relations with, you're tying yourself to somebody that you haven't given your heart over to yet, and that's really the issue that the Bible presents. It's saying you're tying yourself in body, but your souls haven't been committed to each other yet. And one of the most beautiful things about our physical relationship is that our souls are committed to each other and each other alone, and it really is a beautiful thing because it mirrors what what the Lord has done for us, that he's committed himself to us. So now we commit ourselves to him. Yeah, right. And we mirror that in a marriage, right, between a man and a woman. Between a man and a woman. I don't know why I said the other way, but a woman and a man. Yeah. Well, I would say, if I can jump in here, for guys and girls too, it's a big thing about the body and yoking yourself with the body. But also, girls have to be so sensitive with committing their heart to a guy too quickly.

00:26:42.720 --> 00:27:01.146
And one, I think when I look back at my life so far, my only 26 years of living, I would probably say if you're going to date seriously, not just go to dinner or go to coffee, if you're going to date, committed date where you are talking about the future with somebody, wait till you're 21 as a girl.

00:27:01.548 --> 00:27:17.913
That is the one piece of advice that I would tell all girls. If you are going to commit your life to a guy or get into something that, you know, you are boyfriend and girlfriend and you're not dating other people and you guys are exclusive and you're making plans together. If you are under 21, be prepared that you don't know what you want yet. Yeah.

00:27:18.556 --> 00:27:25.845
And what girls can do is we will tie ourselves to a young man that he also doesn't know what he wants. I don't know what I want yet.

00:27:26.198 --> 00:28:15.635
So you make something together that's truly not the desires of your heart. Yeah, it's the desires of his. And then, or in the meantime of that relationship, as a girl, you figured out, but the guy doesn't figure it out. And then you feel like there's a little bit of a deficit there, because I know what I want, and he doesn't. So maybe I got to help him. Yeah. And you feel like you need to shrink back and let him get further along. And you don't want to do that. You want to find somebody that you are at in a season of your life, you're at a place that you go, I know what I want. And I'm looking for this. Not that you have too high of standards. I'm not saying that you raise your standards so high that you're super picky, but you at least want to get with somebody that you know each other. I want this, I want to pursue this as a girl, you want this, this is what you want to pursue. Yeah, because you don't want it— girls are so quickly, we just give our desires over to the guy.

00:28:16.566 --> 00:32:00.066
Well, it's like, well, if you want it, go and do it. I'll just, I'll be here for you. I'll be your support, right? I'll just be a stay-at-home mom and I'll do it. And that's beautiful. But not all girls want that. You know, there are some girls that want to stay at home and they want to take care of their children and they want to make their life is to provide for their husband. But there's other girls that want to do that and something else. And like, I know for me, whenever we have children, yes, I'm going to want to stay home with them and be with them. But I also have desires in my heart and things that I want to do. I have a drive that I want to go and achieve. And there's dreams that I have that God put on my heart. Like, it wasn't that God put it on your heart and I learned from you. That's a separate. Thing of dreams, right? I have achievements that God has put on my heart. I have things that God has cultivated in me alone in those years. And so the reason why I say that is when you're in a relationship, it's not just your body, but you got to be sensitive with how much of your heart that you give. How much of your future do you give that person mentally as a girl? Don't just shift it over to the guy immediately just because, man, we just, we finish each other's sentences. Like, Yeah, you might have great chemistry, and that's amazing, but chemistry isn't gonna survive or get you through the hardest days of marriage. Chemistry isn't going to help you when you want to achieve something and you both are working hard at your job and it's hard at home, but you got to still— like, chemistry is not going to get you through those days, you know? So that's where you just want to make sure that your values and what you both want individually, that God placed individually on your heart, they light up and you're not with somebody that you're like, well, you're 10 years in and you're like, well, I've just been living your life and I haven't lived mine. Yeah. And you said it, and I don't think along with chemistry, I don't think that there's anything that will truly drive throughout the entirety of a marriage, whether it's physical attraction, whether it's a lovey-dovey feeling, chemistry, all of those things. At the end of the day, they all fade, right? They all fade into either being a little bit older and you lose that. and we're not in that season, obviously, but, you know, we see people that are in that season that they might not have that physical connection, that physical attraction. Maybe they do, who knows? But the one thing that supersedes all of that and that doesn't fade is the marriage vows, the marriage vows before the Lord. And that's why it's so important to get married, because it's not just, well, we have great chemistry and I love him and I love the way he treats me and I love the way she treats me and we have a great physical connection as well, like all of that. That's great. That's incredible. But at the end of the day, when you're 50, when you're 60, when you're 70, even when you're in your 20s and 30s, and you have to make daily decisions that are, I am not going to look at a girl a certain way, or I'm not going to look at a guy a certain way because I have somebody at home that I'm taking care of because I love them, but because I made a vow to them and I made a vow before them. So that's the first thing. And the second thing, you know, you spoke a little bit to the women. I'll speak to the guys and to the women as well. You have a great dad and you have an incredible father and you have a father that loves and cares for you. And I had to honor and respect your father throughout the entire process, and I still do as well. Yeah, but there was also somebody that I had to honor that has a greater authority over you, that has a greater ownership over you than your own father, and that was God. And it's so corny, it's so cliché, but like, you— yes, you are a child of Pastor Steve and Pastor Mary, but you are a child of the living God. So I had to look at you, especially in our dating and our engagement, and even now, as I'm not only stewarding somebody that was my girlfriend, my fiancée, and now my wife, and fostering our relationship and making sure I take care of you, but also making sure that in that time, right, and being dating and engaged, I don't rob something of you that might not be mine.

00:32:01.125 --> 00:32:28.667
And that doesn't go to say, you know, if you're a virgin or not, it's just the purity of that season. And it's something that I have to know in my heart that you are a daughter of the living God, and I have to treat you as such. And I'm a son of the living God as well. But there's somebody that I have to answer to that's not only here as an earthly father, but is also as a heavenly Father as well. How did I steward that relationship in our dating, in our engagement, and then now in our marriage?

00:32:29.230 --> 00:32:43.788
And it's interesting because you always see, okay, the grass is greener on the other side. I'm dating. When I'm engaged, there's certain issues that aren't going to be issues anymore. When I'm now engaged, when we get married, certain things are going to fix, they're going to fix these issues that we're having.

00:32:44.397 --> 00:33:05.644
And I think the one thing that we've learned throughout this 2 and a half years that we spent together and 4 months married yesterday is the reality of it is you're always going to have a new set of problems. You're always going to have a new set of problems. And the way you tackled your previous set of problems is how you will build to tackle your next set of problems.

00:33:06.076 --> 00:33:41.309
And that's something that when we look at, we tried to really make it right. And my mom's always told me this is how you— and she— I don't know if she's the one that said it or she heard it somewhere, you know, but how you leave an old season is how you enter a new season. Yeah. And she always said, whenever you leave a job, you leave on right terms. Whenever you leave a relationship, you leave on right terms. Because how you leave that is how you're going to enter the new one. And I think it's the same thing when it comes to problems in a marital relationship and even in a dating and an engagement relationship where how we leave the last set of problems is how we're going to enter the new ones. Have we resolved the last things that we have had an issue with? Yeah.

00:33:41.839 --> 00:34:52.706
And you and I are both very competitive people, fiery people, driven people. So our arguments can be very, you know, I wouldn't say explosive, but they get to a certain head that if we don't solve them, we're just going to be at odds for the rest of the day and then for the next day and for the next day. And there's so many little marriage clichés that we kind of throw in the trash and we just, oh yeah, I heard everybody say that and this and that. But there's an older gentleman at our Dayland campus, Gerald, and he always tells me, he's like, never let the sun set on your anger. Never go to sleep when you two are having a fight. You always solve it before you go to bed. And that's something that we've tried to do. You know, maybe we get upset at each other in the morning, then we go work, and then we come back and we're still upset at each other. And it's like, if I go to sleep angry, I'm going to wake up angry, and I'm going to carry this anger over to the new day. And if the Lord says, I have mercies that are new every single morning, how do I not have mercies for my wife that's new every morning? And I have to put certain things to bed, literally, at night so that in the morning I can wake up with new mercies for you. And I'm not taking and carrying things over from the last day.

00:34:53.284 --> 00:35:03.192
So that's a really important thing. And maybe we talk about it here in the last 10 minutes of making sure that we solve— you solve certain problems as they arise.

00:35:03.465 --> 00:35:42.351
Because if you don't solve it, the next set of problems that you're going to have when we have kids, we're going to have problems. It just builds on. It builds on. Yeah. Well, I would say that I think it's good as one of the things that we've been working through, and it was funny, we were talking to a friend the other day and he had asked us, he's like, oh man, guys, he's like our age. How is married life? Is it the best? Don't you guys love it? And he's not married and he's hoping to get married. And we both were like, number one, marriage is the best. Yeah. Let's say that marriage is the sweetest because you are now partnered with your best friend, somebody who gets you, somebody who protects you, who advocates for you.

00:35:42.833 --> 00:37:07.253
If things are right and healthy. And you, you, like you said, if you, if you settle those arguments, somebody that advocates for you, supports you, cheers you on, you know, all those things. But there are hiccups, there are challenges with marriage that the Lord gives you grace for. Yes, but it's hard. Like, I now I'm seeing what my siblings have said, or I've seen what every married person— it's like your respect grows when you get married. All the married people, you're like, I have so much respect for you because you're seeing it. And one of the things we were telling him was about just the simple or like the small little us, like acclimating to one another. Yeah. Our habits. Our habits. And that's something small right now. We don't have kids, so our problems aren't that big yet. But figuring out what I enjoy, what helps me kind of wind down and turn off my brain versus what you enjoy. And the hardest thing, and you said it about habits, is that you think when you get married, you know, you come into this marriage with different habits and what, what makes me relax, what makes him relax, what I find joy in, what he finds joy in. And then you think that when you come to marriage, it's going to merge and you could do all of it together now. Like, yeah, we'll, we'll have a couple months where we're doing our thing, but then we'll go back to our, our normal habits and you can go and, and do what you want to do and I can go upstairs and watch my show and we could do that. Yeah. But then now we're in marriage, and really, we're 5 months. Yesterday was 5 months, by the way. Oh, it was 5 months?

00:37:07.318 --> 00:37:18.525
Yeah, it was 5 months. But now that we're 5 months in, now things are subsiding. And then we're finding that the habits are not merging. And you're creating new ones. You're creating new ones.

00:37:18.797 --> 00:38:22.231
And I think that's the biggest thing that we've realized is, and it's probably been the, you know, in large part, the biggest reason we've had a lot of arguments, a lot of challenges in our early parts of our marriage. And don't get us wrong, I mean, it's been more good than it's been bad. But when it has been bad, it's been because of that. Because as you said, we have this idea that, all right, our habits are going to merge and we're going to be able to live in this Hakuna Matata, Kumbaya kind of situation where we get to do— you get to do what you want, I get to do what I want, and then we can do it together and it's just going to be a great time. And there's certain aspects that are true. Football, like you love football, I love football. I got a good one. That's like what I prayed to the Lord for, right? So he gave me that. But then there's other aspects where, you know, maybe I want to play video games or I want to go, you know, with the guys and hang out and just do things that I had done previously. Yeah, well, I've done for the last 24 years of my life. Exactly right. And even time spent on the phone. Time spent on the phone as well. So you go from two different habits that you think are going to merge. And the reality is both different habits have to die.

00:38:22.552 --> 00:39:22.083
And you have to create brand new habits together. And I also, I would say this, I think it, it goes back to giving each other grace because one thing I do notice is that like, I, there's a, there's a video on Instagram that's like every wife with her husband and it shows you like this video of the two of them on the couch and they're both scrolling on Instagram and the minute she gets off Instagram, she turns to him and she's like, why are you on your phone? Yeah, that's, that's my life. It's so right. It's so real. So I think part of it is us wives, and I'm learning this, yeah, so don't hold, don't hold this against me, but we do have to give our husband some grace because we do feel like I can have my habits and then the minute that his habits impede on mine or get in the way of us, well, you can't have your habits. Like, it's funny, we're, we're sensing it now that like when I wanna binge watch a show, that's when I'm like, hey, go play video games. Yeah. But when I don't wanna do it, I'm like, you can't play video games because I don't want— so that's where we have to give each other grace. And learn, like, all right, the timing for everything.

00:39:22.838 --> 00:39:25.440
And also, there are some nights it's fine if he wants to play video games.

00:39:25.585 --> 00:39:37.889
And also, you play, like, I play once every other week, so it's not even a big deal. But when you want to do that and you're talking to all your guys and you're enjoying your time, you know what, like, I can sit there and just go on my phone, or I could sit there and just hang out.

00:39:37.936 --> 00:39:53.164
Like, I don't have to be doing something for me in order for you to enjoy your time. Yeah. But then the other side of that is The majority of time you do wanna make sure that you are not pursuing your own habits and what fulfills you more than what fulfills your spouse.

00:39:53.275 --> 00:40:29.405
That's right. Because one thing that we are learning is, yes, this is how I would wind down when I was single, but now that we're married, we have to wind down together. Like, what is the way that we kind of disconnect from the world or kind of just breathe from everything that's happening? And it's funny because we'll probably like watch this back in 2 years from now when we have kids. And we'll probably disagree with what we're saying. Yeah. Because I'll probably be at the point we have kids, be like, you enjoy yourself. You go hide from the kids, go play video games, do what you wanna do. It'll change. But at the beginning stages of your marriage, you are building that bond. Yeah.

00:40:29.887 --> 00:42:54.351
And you don't wanna bring too many external factors into the relationship. You don't wanna be on your phone all the time. You don't wanna be binge watching a show that's only for you. Have the time for that and communicate the times that work best for you. But also, you do want to put each other first at the beginning of marriage. Yeah, I agree. And it's about communicating as well, you know. Yeah, talk about it, talk about it, and talk about why it's important to you. Yes, you know, and I think that that's something that, you know, you, you, we, we throw around video games and it's like, oh, uh, you know, just playing video games just to play video games. But I'm a really competitive guy. Yeah, I don't have time throughout the week to, to, you know, play basketball or to do different things that get my competitiveness out. Yeah, so then I'm like, hey, like, I want I want to do it in that format and in that arena. And at the same time, it's also like you're bonding with your different guys and different things like that. But you also play— you'll play basketball on Friday mornings. Yes. So there are things that— so there's outlets, but those outlets are also things that take time away from you. But from an external view, you might be looking at those things. Well, he'd rather do that than spend time with me. Or what's the big deal? It's just basketball or it's just video games. So there is a communication aspect where I have to let you know, hey, these are things that I need to do because if not, I'm going to come home and be competitive competitive with you. Yeah. If not, and you've seen that, you know, you've seen the difference between when I go out and I play basketball or I get a night where I can just, you know, hang out with the guys and play some games. And between that and then just us 24/7, it's like we start to almost like get like a little, like, a little divisive with each other. There's a start, like a rub that starts to get between each other. So I think it's another aspect of like, communicate what's important to you. Yeah. Because it's not that those when you're creating these new habits, it's not like, well, those habits have to die and I can't ever do those things again. It's about creating those habits in a healthy way together where you can do what you need to do and I can do what I need to do. And like, you have movie nights with your girls and you love those movie nights. Like, and you go watch movies that I would never watch with you. So it's the best. And you get to hang out with your girls and watch your movies. And I understand it. Sometimes you have to communicate it to me. Hey, like, I want to do these things with with the girls, like, I want to watch these movies that you don't want to watch them with me. So I tell you, go, go do it, like, enjoy it, have fun. And but the communication aspect of that is key because without that communication aspect, then it's like, well, they just want to do their own thing, or, well, he just wants to do his own thing. It's true. When in reality, like, there is some added layers to that. And sometimes it's just a little bit of self-reflection and thinking.

00:42:54.559 --> 00:42:58.398
Yeah, I never thought that basketball— like, I love basketball, I love playing basketball.

00:42:58.911 --> 00:43:07.170
But I never thought, man, like, I need that to be— I never thought when I was playing it when I was younger, this is going to be a competitive outlet for me so that I don't go home to my wife and I'm argumentative.

00:43:07.251 --> 00:43:21.538
Like, I never thought that. No, no. But after some self-reflection, after some self-thought, and it's not about doing that in excess, but it is about, okay, I need to communicate to her why this is important to me, why this is something that I need to do and at least set some time apart for.

00:43:22.965 --> 00:46:12.927
And like I said, you don't abuse that and you don't manipulate that. But you're honest with each other about it. And I think that from that honesty, you're able to now create and develop new habits that together are more cohesive. And, you know, we have— we talked about the phone and being on the phone. That's something that we really struggled with, like, in the first 2 months. Yeah. Because, you know, typically when we were dating or engaged, we'd both go home, we'd both spend time with our parents, and then we'd both be, you know, just being by ourselves, by ourselves on our phone. And it's just what you're used to. And you've done that for 10 years, 15 years. You doom scroll at the end of every night. Everybody does it. Exactly. Or you go down a rabbit hole of a different war or this and that, and you're just like, down this rabbit hole. That's what I do. But you go down this rabbit hole and you don't realize I've been on my phone for an hour. Right. And that's what doom scrolling is. It takes you to your doom. But when we get into that aspect together, I never thought that was that big of a deal separately. But now together, it is a big deal. It is something that I have to watch and I have to to, to try to maintain. And I think we've gotten into a good rhythm now of when we go to sleep, we either put something on, on the TV like The Chosen or something along those lines that, you know, I don't want to say are spiritual, but like, it's— there's an aspect of it's just nice to go to sleep to, or we'll just play the Bible and we'll go to sleep, right? So we get into like this nice rhythm of doing this together where we don't forsake the things, but now we merge them together in a unique blend, in a unique way. And we build those habits and create those habits together. And like I said earlier, as you create those habits, right, and those building blocks of habits, you're going to get into an issue at every single building block. Well, because every, every season is different. Yeah. So like, and every habit's different. Every habit's different. And I think the overall thing that I'm learning is like, I can't— I have to be open-minded. Number one, I can't think the same way that I once thought. Right? Like the mindset that I had when we were dating or engaged, I can't bring now over into marriage because it's different circumstances. And then number 2, I have to think the best of you. When you are wanting to go and play basketball on Friday morning, I have to think he needs this. This helps him. Yeah. I can't pit it against me and be like, well, he just doesn't want to hang out with me or he's leaving me at home or whatever that is. And that I say that because it is a very difficult challenge for me because I immediately go to What, you don't wanna hang out with me on a Friday morning? Yeah. Where it's like, no, he's actually gonna be happier when he comes home later. I need to let him go. Yeah. So, but that's for this season and you have to be open-minded for the season and you have to have open communication because what might make sense and what habits might make sense in this season, when we have children, it's gonna change. Yeah. It's all changes. And, and I know that like what works now is not gonna work when we have a newborn and it's not gonna work when we have a lot of kids and then it's not gonna work when we have teenagers, like But that's where we go back to be open-minded. Yep.

00:46:13.891 --> 00:46:48.166
Think the best and be open to change. Yeah. Open communication and talk about these things. It's not bad, girls, if you don't— if you kind of do that whole thing of when he's like, are you mad? Are you bothered? And you're like, no. And you are, but you don't want to say it. Talk about it. Yeah. And if you do need to pause to get your thoughts together, tell him, hey, I don't want to blow up. I don't want to say something I'm going to regret saying. Can you give me 30 minutes? Even that is better communication than holding your tongue and not saying it. Mm-hmm. And then blowing up later. But don't stonewall, don't push him away, don't shut down.

00:46:48.903 --> 00:46:59.672
Think through your thoughts because that communication is so healthy for one another. You both need it. He needs it just as much as you need it. Like I think us girls think like, oh, they don't really care.

00:47:00.041 --> 00:47:36.554
You do care. The guys do care. The guys wanna know where their wife is at. They don't want a wife that they always come home to and she's mad at them. And it's not because, oh, the wife's always mad. No, they want to make sure if there's something wrong, I want to fix it. Like, men are fixers. So they don't want a wife that they can't help and they can't understand. So open up, be open-minded, open to change and transition, because every season— again, we're going to look back on this podcast 2 years from now and be like, we didn't know what we were talking about because now we've got children and it's different. But what we're experiencing now and what we're even talking about, it makes sense to the newlywed season.

00:47:37.208 --> 00:47:40.326
This is what we need. This is what we're using to build a bond.

00:47:41.262 --> 00:48:37.594
Because you just don't want already when you're 5 months married, because you can if you don't have self-control, you don't want to have already so many issues at the foundational phase. Yeah, I agree. And, you know, we can end it with this, but there's a great Seinfeld episode that's Serenity Now, Insanity Later. And it's like every time Frank Costanza does something or something happens to him that just makes him upset, he screams out, Serenity Now. And he heard it on this self-help tape. Serenity Now. He's like, Serenity Now, Serenity Now. And then eventually it gets to a boiling point where he goes, Serenity Now, and he just flips out, destroys this whole computer sales thing that he's doing out of his garage, and he destroys a bunch of merchandise. That's something that, obviously it's funny in its context, but something that happens on a daily basis, on a weekly basis in marriages where everybody just wants to say, serenity now, I'm not upset about it, I'm not mad about it. And it might not be from a bad heart. It might be from a genuine heart that's like, I don't want to be mad about it. I don't want to be mad about it.

00:48:37.885 --> 00:49:07.969
So I'm just going to say I'm not mad about it and maybe I'll get to that place. And eventually you explode over a small thing. You do. And what it ends up doing is creating more of a fracture that you have to mend with your husband or your wife, as opposed to, hey, I didn't like that you didn't take out the trash. Yeah. Oh, okay, I'll take out the trash. Don't worry about it. Instead of now, you're like, now there's an explosion and there's this— what could have been a hairline fracture is a complete break. And now you have to go into intense surgery to mend that, right, with your partner, metaphorically speaking.

00:49:08.626 --> 00:49:51.219
So I think that that's super, super important. And another thing that I'd say just to put a button on it is whatever you cope with now could be a vice or an addiction later. And what happens in a lot of marriages, not ours, thank God, but what happens in a lot of marriages or dating relationships or engagement things, you have a fight with your spouse and then how do you cope with that fight? Is it alcohol? Is it watching something you shouldn't be watching? Is it just leaving, like walking out? Is it leaving? Is it walking out? And those things can become vices or addictions or habits later on that you cope with now. And you're like, well, I just need to blow off some steam. All right, like, yeah, I just need to go walk around, or I need to, you know, get out of the house and drive off.

00:49:51.766 --> 00:50:56.213
And it's like, eventually that will lead to you drive off and you never come back. Yeah. Or if you drink, eventually it'll lead to a vice or an addiction that you can't handle. Or if you watch porn, it'll lead to a vice and addiction that you cannot handle. Yeah, right. And these different coping mechanisms that are heinous, really, that just start with a seed, grow into a full plant, and eventually it gets to a certain point where like I said, it can be a hairline fracture that you could have mended, and it would be, hey, you need to be in a boot for a week and you're off. And now it's a complete break, and there is surgery, there's rehab, there is all of these different things that you now have to work on to get that fully mended together with your spouse. It can be really difficult to do that. So serenity now, insanity later is a true thing, because then you see that insanity, and I can see it on you and be like, why is she flipping out over, you know, I didn't do this. But it's really a bulk of things that I haven't done that I don't know. You haven't told me. And it's not to put the onus on you. It's just to say— No, no, it's true. And vice versa, right? Well, it happened the other day. We'll finish with this story. It happened the other day that we were at the house.

00:50:56.262 --> 00:51:03.197
I was cleaning up, and it was like I felt like there was a mess in every room. And I was pinning it against you.

00:51:03.505 --> 00:51:08.994
I was making, like, you the enemy. And we were going against one another. And you were calm. You were chill, having a good day. I think it was Friday.

00:51:09.512 --> 00:51:16.099
And I was like so frustrated with you. And I saw this on one of the chairs. You put some stuff from the back of your car.

00:51:16.244 --> 00:51:56.318
You had cleaned out your car, so you put some of your things on that chair. So I go over to the chair because I'm doing laundry, and I go over to the chair and I see your wedding dress shirt. Your dress shirt from our— was it from our wedding? It was from our wedding, but it's my dress shirt. Yeah, it was a dress shirt, a white dress shirt that was like rolled up with dress pants, like crinkled up, like terrible, like literally rolled up. And I'm going to give context for why I was like that. After. But on top of it, because we had to leave quickly for a trip, so we had to empty out the back of his car. So he has it there, and I'm sitting there, and it was like, that was my— what was it, Serenity? Now Insanity. That was my insanity. And I just lost it.

00:51:56.753 --> 00:52:04.242
And I was like, you left your wedding shirt? Do you not even care about your clothes? So I want to finish that story. I know.

00:52:04.324 --> 00:52:08.155
Let me finish my insanity moment. Do you even care about your clothes?

00:52:08.510 --> 00:52:22.822
I start going around, I'm like, every room. And he's going, What is wrong with you? It's not that big of a deal. And you're having this moment of like, why are you so insane? And then he's throwing out words like that that I'm like, I'm not crazy. And we're telling her to relax. Yeah, literally.

00:52:22.967 --> 00:52:48.728
And I'm having this freak out moment all because of his dress shirt right there. Fast forward to Saturday. Fast forward to Saturday. 2 days later. 2 days later. Mind you, the reason why I was in my back seat is because when I come from work, and we come to youth on a Wednesday night, I don't want to be in a dress shirt, dress pants with a bunch of 15-year-olds. They're going to look at me like I'm a fed. So I don't want to be a federal to them.

00:52:48.793 --> 00:53:38.543
So what I end up doing is I just change. And I had put it in the back seat of my car or in the trunk of my car, and I totally forgot about it. I didn't even remember it. And that was another thing that I'm like, how could you forget? How could I forget the whole thing? So we get to Saturday, which was Lauren's bridal party. Her bridal shower. And at her bridal shower, I have a bunch of bucket golf stuff because that's what we're doing for the Goodfellas night on Sunday. My car had a bunch of stuff in the back. It had a ton of stuff in the back. So I was cleaning it out and I see this garment bag and it's this massive garment bag that I thought was your mom's because we had to transfer one for your mom. And I see this massive garment bag and it's rolled up. It's not even hung. And it's like rolled up in a ball in the back of the trunk. And she's like, come on, come on, we got to put the mirror into the trunk, this and that for Lauren's bridal shower.

00:53:39.248 --> 00:54:32.128
And I'm like, okay, we get it. Like, what is this? It's rolled up in a ball. Like, is this your mom's clothes? Like, can we give it back to your mom? She goes, no, that's my wedding dress. And I'm like, are you serious right now? So 2 days before, she explodes on me because I had my wedding shirt, which is just a dress shirt. I was so embarrassed in the trunk of my car. Because I'm ministering to young people, so I have to put it away. Do you see this? And then all of a sudden I get there on a Saturday and a garment bag is rolled up into a little ball, and I go, what is that? And she nonchalantly says, that's my wedding dress. The most important piece of clothing that I have. The thing she's going to have for 80 years is wrapped up in a ball. So all that to say, be more— look at yourself than you look at yourself. Yeah, yeah. The log in your own eye. Literally the log in your own eye. This was fun.

00:54:32.369 --> 00:55:01.367
Did you enjoy this? I had a great time. I had a great time. Thank you guys for watching. I hope you guys enjoyed this. Comment, respond, let us know if you enjoyed this, if there's other things that you want the family to talk about, because we, uh, we've got a lot to talk about. And we got our little keychain card, keychain card of all of our topics, our topic chain. Some wild ones on there. I know. Gosh, we'll leave it. I saw one here. Let me read one. Let me— I don't want you to read. No, let me read one. Let me read one. I, I think this is pastors. I didn't, I didn't, I don't know, this one kind of scared me a little bit.

00:55:01.657 --> 00:55:04.927
He said, let me see it. Where is it? Where's the green one?

00:55:05.603 --> 00:55:16.311
Is the green one Pastor's? Does anybody know? Does anybody know? It says, are in-laws a good investment? Oh, that's coming? That one scares me a little bit. I hope so.

00:55:16.797 --> 00:55:26.014
Whoever, that doesn't sound like Pastor Mary. So there you go. All right guys, thank you so much for watching. We hope you enjoyed it. Have a great rest of your day, and God bless.

00:55:27.407 --> 00:55:42.577
Thanks so much for joining The Family Business today. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to follow or subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave us a review. We appreciate your support and can't wait to have you join us next time, because family is everybody's business.