Pressure of Modern Parenting: Making Tough Decisions about Discipline and Your Children's Health

Chris Alessi:
Let's just. Can. Can we just wait?

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
I don't think this newborn who's not allowed to drink water yet needs seven, like, just before we've even gone home. Right?

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
So that was just like a logic thing in my mind. And maybe by calling it logic, maybe that's mean to somebody listening, but, like, I just mean more for me. I was like, that kind of. That made sense to me. Like, let's just wait.

Stephanie Muiña:
Hello and welco. Welcome to the family business with the Alessies. My name is Stephanie, and I am so honored to welcome me, my husband, and my brother and his wife together talking about our children and all the complications that come with it. We're gonna have a really fun conversation today about parenting, different methods of parenting, gentle parenting, all the crossroads that we reached in these early years of parenting together. And. And we've been pretty much doing it together because we became parents within six months of each other. So we've learned so much. And we just want to dive into this conversation today and share our experiences, share our stories, share our opinions on it.

Stephanie Muiña:
But before that, we also want to say thank you because we are gearing up on almost 1 million views on our YouTube page. It's happening. So let's keep sharing, let's keep watching, let's follow, subscribe to our channel, keep commenting and liking our videos, and let's just get the word out there because we just absolutely love sharing our family conversations with all of you. And we know you have friends that would love it as well. But yes, let's dive into this today. I'm very excited about this topic because it's a passion of all of ours. And we can all say that when we get around our family and we get around our sisters who have no children, we can get a little annoying because all we talk about is our children. All we talk about is what they did that that night, what they did that morning, how they frustrated us.

Stephanie Muiña:
Oh, my gosh. That cute thing that they did.

Chris Alessi:
And processing how we handled everything.

Richelle Alessi:
Yes.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yes. So it's. It's been such a fun journey, but I guess I want to start off with what's your. Your kids names? How old are they? What's been the highlight of this season in parenting?

Richelle Alessi:
Okay, so we have one son and then one son on the way. Marino is two and a half. And Jackson going on 14. Yep. And Jackson is going to be born in May.

Chris Alessi:
One of the things that's different for us, and we should talk about this a little bit, is all kids are the Same. They're all the same. Kids are kids. There's also a lot of nuance.

Richelle Alessi:
Yes.

Chris Alessi:
And, like, recognizing that what works for one kid doesn't always work for the other.

Stephanie Muiña:
No, it's true.

Chris Alessi:
Like, Gia was an only child for maybe 18 months.

Stephanie Muiña:
18 months.

Chris Alessi:
And then has always been like, your family has the Moenas, the four of you, but they have this, like, sub family, the two of them.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yes.

Chris Alessi:
Our family has no subunits. It's just me, Rachelle, and Urina. It's one of the reasons why we're so grateful Jackson's coming on the scene. Yeah. For real. Richelle looked at Marino in the middle of something the other day and said.

Richelle Alessi:
Last night was the last night.

Chris Alessi:
Says, you need a brother. Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
Because he was nonstop playing, and we play with him all the time, all day. But I notice how he needs a little brother to play that with. Like, it would make him so happy, because maybe I don't want to play hide and seek all the time, but they're going to want to play hide and seek all the time together, and that's going to change and be better for him.

Chris Alessi:
But it also means that, like, the thing that Marino's constantly wanting to get back to is the unit of the three of us. So, like, I've watched Marino have an attachment to us two, that every kid is attached to their parents. Yeah. But at a different level than your kids are attached to you guys. And part of it is because they, like, have each other. Like, there's. There's. There's something about that.

Chris Alessi:
Marino is the one next door with all the kids that will lose his mind asking for Mom. Like, it's so different. And because G is so advanced, as Chris said, if Gia says, okay, I'll go in the room. Matthew's like, all right, that's what we're doing. It doesn't matter if Marino doesn't want it.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
He's going to lose his mind. And what's hard about that is recognizing the dynamic of. It's like. Well, it's because his. His unit is only his parents.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
And then I look back and I think, shoot, that was me, mom and dad for four and a half years. And the way that. That affected discipline, even for me. Yes. By the time you and Lauren came on the scene, kind of like you guys have even taught us, like, when there's two, you go, oh, I can discern moments differently. That didn't happen for me. So there was a lot of, like, physical discipline.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
And that's why, for me, it's what I fall back on for Marino.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
And it's so different because, like, I think the biggest stressor for Marino and us, the one area of life that's like, okay, this is really hard. Every other moment with Marino is beautiful. He's the purest heart. He's funny. He walked in today in a box.

Richelle Alessi:
He's sweet, he's kind, super social.

Chris Alessi:
He's the best. I can't complain about my son, but bedtime is awful.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
When you even said I could put Gia to sleep in five minutes, I'm like, that's never happened. From the time he was an infant. From the time.

Stephanie Muiña:
I'm talking about for naps.

Chris Alessi:
No, no, no.

Stephanie Muiña:
Because I put her in the car.

Chris Alessi:
No.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
Okay. My point is, even at. How long does bedtime take at night?

Richelle Alessi:
At least 20 minutes. At least.

Chris Alessi:
I love you to death. That's. If it's one in the morning and we've drugged our son, it's an hour.

Richelle Alessi:
That's true. I lose. I stopped counting.

Chris Alessi:
It's an hour.

Richelle Alessi:
I just stopped.

Stephanie Muiña:
It used to be an hour. For Matthew and Gia, it used to be an hour. And I would have to sit them down and fight.

Chris Alessi:
With Matthew, it is a full hour. And it's like. Some nights it's like 12:30, and you're just like, I want to get in my bed. Come. You're coming with me.

Christopher Muiña:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
And then the whole thing falls apart. And then the next night, you're like, back to your bed. And you're like, I'm back at square one.

Stephanie Muiña:
No. What was it that Gia did the other night where she's in bed and I hear her going, five little monkeys jumping on the bed.

Christopher Muiña:
Oh, yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:
From the other room, one fell off and broke his head. It's 11:30 at night. I'm like, jia, shut up. Go to sleep. And she goes, okay, okay, hold on.

Chris Alessi:
All the stuff you can find on kids and sleeping and all that.

Richelle Alessi:
11:30.

Stephanie Muiña:
That's really funny.

Richelle Alessi:
She's singing as loud as she can as Gianna.

Chris Alessi:
Okay, so yesterday, my wife tells me, like, she comes into my office at 4:00'.

Stephanie Muiña:
Clock.

Chris Alessi:
Moreno's already napped. He was up by 3:30. He'll go to sleep early. I feel like that's like saying Voldemort in our house. It's like, you growing up was the don't blood Bloody Mary thing. Did it scare anybody else? If you look in the mirror and you say it three times, you're gonna summon whatever it was. That's Marino with sleep. Because she was like, he's gonna nap early.

Chris Alessi:
He ran all afternoon with the girls.

Richelle Alessi:
He was non stop playing all day.

Chris Alessi:
And then it's like we got home and we played and we played and we played and we had to pack because we're moving. And now it's midnight and we're like, all right, buddy, time to go to sleep. And he's like, why? And he had all the energy in the world and it's. I have to be honest, I would probably say 80% of discipline has come at bedtime.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
And it is so hard.

Stephanie Muiña:
Oh my God.

Chris Alessi:
And one of the reasons why it is hard, if it is the family business, is cause I have mom and dad's voice in my head. Yeah, I have sometimes yalls voice in my head. Sometimes I'm thinking, Stephanie, the last time we were all together, said that, like I watched her put Matthew down in five minutes or in 10 minutes. And you just start to go through all of that in your mind and you're like, like, I've messed this whole thing up. My system is broken. Like. And it's just a lot, it's a lot to deal with.

Stephanie Muiña:
That is. I think honestly the second hardest thing with parenting is just the comparing to other kids and other parents and how that happens. Cuz like I. I will sometimes I'll look at Marino and he's so nice to everyone and he'll just come in and say hi. Hi. And hug. And Gia walks in and she's like, if you look at me, I'll kill you. Like, she doesn't want anybody to look at her, doesn't want anybody to touch her.

Stephanie Muiña:
Matthew's nice, he's kind, man. I'm like, where are, where's your kindness? Where's your love for people? And it's you, it's. I never had that thought before. Until you see another child do it and you're like, why can't my kid do it? And then after a while, I honestly stopped caring because I saw and this is with every child, there's a win and a loss for every child. Like, there is not one child that's perfect. If they're sleeping, then they're not eating. If they're eating, then they're not sleeping. If they're kind to people, then they are destroyers.

Stephanie Muiña:
If they are really, really clean, then they're not nice to people. So it's like a give and take with every single child. And it's, it's just for a short season. Like, I think my honestly, having friends that are in the same season is the only way to get through it. I've used Google, I've used ChatGPT, and it's helped. But what's brought me peace is friendships.

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:
Because Danya was the one to tell me all the time, you need to give your child a yes day every once in a while. Because Gia was not a baby anymore. It was. She wasn't a one year old. She's now three. Her personality is developing. And if I'm always the rule keeper, the disciplinary like, and not saying that I'm the disciplinary one, we both are. But if we are always having to tell her, no, Gia, no, no, no, she will start to remember it and have an attitude towards you for the rest of the day and then start to do things out of spite.

Stephanie Muiña:
And I.

Chris Alessi:
That's so funny.

Stephanie Muiña:
And she told me, you know, every once in a while, when the timing is right, you don't spoil her, but give her a yes day. Look for ways to say yes to your child and to say, yeah, we can go do that. Yeah, let's go over there, let's go to the park. You can eat that candy. You can, every once in a while, when the timing is right, give your child some enjoyment and where you can enjoy your time with them. Because if. If you keep comparing them to other children, if you. Which only makes you pressure the child more, it only puts more pressure on you.

Stephanie Muiña:
It just creates, like a tense environment for the kids. And they feel it. They feel it.

Chris Alessi:
Well, I remember you telling me just fairly recently because we had a really hard night with Marino. We didn't realize that it was 100% a result of the flu that he had. Like, we didn't realize that, but it was like, golly, one of the hardest nights ever. And I remember you texted me and said that Donya had shared with you every once in a while. Just say, the wind tonight is peace. The wind tonight is rest. The wind tonight is sleep. It's not structure.

Chris Alessi:
It's not order. I mean, I asked Chris all the time, how did you get the kids to sleep? What was your thing? I remember when he weaned Gia off of having to be there to go to sleep or whatever. I would always ask and then that would always put pressure on me. And then now I'm mad at Marino.

Stephanie Muiña:
I know.

Chris Alessi:
And I'm not in the moment. I'm mad having a conversation with somebody in my head. It's like, man, this is so dumb. And if you actually ask Rachelle, I have a song that I have to listen to at least once a week to kind of set me right. And it is that these are the days that we'll want backstory.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. Because it's, like, so true.

Chris Alessi:
Okay. There will be a day where I'm like, guys, Marino's feet are, like, this big. And whenever you're napping or whenever you're trying to sleep, and it's like three in the morning, and he comes in the room, he'll put those feet all over you. And it's not cute. It's not sweet. It's painful.

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
But then I'm thinking, man, there's going to be a season of life where I would kill to have his feet be this big and to have him rubbing those feet on us as we're trying to go to sleep. So, you know, Stephanie, you talked about it, and I think we should kind of bring the conversation here. Like, we're not gentle parents at the same time. We're not hostile parents. Yeah. And we know that there are moments where it's like the wind here is talking to you, getting down to your level, getting your attention. If that doesn't work, we'll bring the discipline out.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
But, like, we need to have kind of, you know, I'm not going to do this out of anger. I'm not going to do this because I'm frustrated at work. I'm going to do it because it's the right. It's what the moment calls for. At the same time, you know, it has been interesting to raise children at the time that we have, because one of the things that we share is we got married during COVID right after, when we started to try to have kids, vaccines were all of the conversation for every human being. And then that kind of sparked this, like, vaccine obsession to where. When you were pregnant. When we were pregnant, you've got everyone, even in our church, asking us, what.

Richelle Alessi:
Are you gonna do?

Chris Alessi:
What are you guys gonna do?

Christopher Muiña:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
And now you fast forward, and now with all of the stuff that's gone on under the Trump administration with RFK now there's like. I mean, the food pyramid has turned over. Crazy food that we used to think nothing of with, like, red dye in it. Now it's kind of been looked at like, how dare you poison your children? Like, it. Now the idea of. Of giving your kid too much Tylenol or something is something that constantly people are thinking of. And it's like, mom and dad have told us we didn't think about any of that stuff when we were having kids.

Richelle Alessi:
Crazy.

Chris Alessi:
Yet whenever we go to dinner with a couple, they're asking us, do you let your kids eat this? Did you give them these vaccines? And it's. It's a real. It's a real. I wouldn't say a stressor, but it is something that we're actively dealing with.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Chris Alessi:
So let's talk about that a little bit.

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah. I love. You know, there's. When Marina was born, because he was born during that time. I was that mom at the beginning because I had a given formula, I became overly obsessed with everything else that he would eventually eat. And because in my head, I'm like, well, if I can give him, like, if I can't nurse him, right, Then everything else that I can control has. I need to know where everything comes from.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
So even introducing Marino to food and things, it was things that I would make from scratch myself. Everything. Even, like, the first little goldfish that he tried, like, I made them with, like, sweet potato, and I did all of that stuff.

Stephanie Muiña:
We don't do that anymore.

Richelle Alessi:
And it was because we brought goldfish today. Yeah, we did. And. And then there. There were moments where I just. I just. Because of everything that I heard, it was like, I need to know everything that he's eating at all times. And then his grandparents are giving him ice cream, chocolate ice cream, before I've ever given him ice cream.

Chris Alessi:
3 months grandmommy gave him ice cream.

Stephanie Muiña:
And I'm like, I was there.

Richelle Alessi:
Oh, my God. And I'm like, if. And then I realized, if I'm not there, there's things I can't control. And then you drive yourself crazy. But I started to kind of learn a little bit of the balance where kids are going to be kids.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
You got. I learned from you guys. If Matthew had breakfast and it was 11:30 and he asked for a lollipop, but he ate breakfast and the kids were Popsicle.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
You guys would. Gave him a Popsicle.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
And I would be like, he's having a popsicle at 11:30. I don't give Marino anything past 3pm that's sugary like that. I can't.

Stephanie Muiña:
We'll make it clear. The Popsicle was like fruit and water.

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah.

Stephanie Muiña:
Some of them were super healthy.

Richelle Alessi:
Right. It's not like.

Chris Alessi:
Yeah, but to us, it wasn't about the ingredients. It was like the principle. And we were like.

Richelle Alessi:
But then Matthew was happy, and then Marino was mad because he was seeing his cousin eating.

Stephanie Muiña:
He's like, what the heck?

Richelle Alessi:
And he couldn't have one. And the other day at the House, he ate all his breakfast. It's like noon. And he's like, popsicle, Popsicle. And all I could think about was.

Stephanie Muiña:
Like, yeah, sure, why not?

Richelle Alessi:
It'll be a nice 10 minutes. It will be peaceful. He'll be happy. He had his breakfast, he had good food. He's fine. But I am still even learning those balances. And kids are going to be kids. We can't deny them everything.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
Because they're going to go to a party and they're going to want goldfish.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah, yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
Let them eat the goldfish. Like, it's okay. Just don't do it every single day. And I am learning that balance with him where it's like, okay, fine. On these days, this type of sugar you don't need because I just know where it's going to lead to. Especially if you woken up with a certain mood or a certain thing, then I just know this day I have to feed you these things to keep you fueled in a more level headed way.

Chris Alessi:
Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
There's some days where he's going to have a little more milk and it's okay. He needs that comfort. And there's others where we're going to stick to the schedule because you're okay. We need to eat good. You're not going to have sugar. Maybe you have dessert like after dinner or after lunch.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
And I'm still very aware of like.

Chris Alessi:
And there are some days you're not gonna eat anything.

Richelle Alessi:
He just didn't want to eat today. But then there's days that he's gonna eat for three days straight and he's gonna eat so much.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yes.

Richelle Alessi:
That I'm like, you are. It's like I'm giving you food and it's like it's going nowhere because you're just hungry. And kids have their seasons and you kind of have to. It's so funny. You have to discern those moments.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
Even with what you're feeding them and when you're giving them, we have to be aware of what we're putting in their body because maybe their sugar is affecting their mood later that 100%. And we. And there is different type of sugars. I seen the difference of when he eats like a random candy and when I give him just a popsicle, that's like, yes, popsicle.

Stephanie Muiña:
There's a difference.

Richelle Alessi:
It's very different. And it's okay to find healthier snacks. I've done that for him. I buy him cleaner chips or I buy him cleaner things because I do see the difference. But I am not going to just say you can't have anything nowhere because demonize anything. Right.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. We're in the same headspace.

Richelle Alessi:
It's going to be okay if you have goldfish today and tomorrow for this week.

Chris Alessi:
Well, can I just say, I think. And I'd love to hear you guys talk about it, but I think the issue is, number one, vaccines. Everything has been politicized. Yeah. So it's almost like you let your kid eat that snack. I know who you voted for. That's ridiculous.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
But, like, even when it comes to the vaccine, like, the truth is, we didn't do anything for Marino. Yeah. Partially because we just. Honestly, we just didn't know.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
And we were like, hey, let's just. Can. Can we just wait?

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
I don't think this newborn who's not allowed to drink water yet needs seven, like, just before we've even gone home. Right.

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
So that was just like, a logic thing in my mind. And maybe by calling it logic, maybe that's mean to somebody listening. But, like, I just mean more for me. I was like, that kind of. That made sense to me. Like, let's just wait. But the truth is, the mistake we make is when we feel like either side is more righteous than the other. Yes.

Chris Alessi:
Because let me tell you, I think three or four days of our Italy trip, when Marina was almost 18 months old were completely ruined for me because I'm thinking, I. I've not protected my son. We're walking around this place. We are being constantly bombarded by thousands of people. Who knows what diseases these people have? And all this kid has is vitamin K and a little bit of Tylenol, and I'm like. And all of a sudden you're like, okay, so if I. If I did the vaccine thing and I loaded him up on the vaccine thing, well, then I would need the faith that he'd be all right.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yes.

Chris Alessi:
And at the same time, I'm walking around Italy going, lord, I just pray. I remember Rochelle was here buying us these awesome sandwiches, and I'm on the phone at night with Stephanie going, I'm freaking.

Stephanie Muiña:
Okay, I forgot about that. Oh, my gosh.

Chris Alessi:
So it's like if you let your kids eat goldfish or you make them from scratch. Okay. Technically, especially when you zoom out and you look at it over a long term, there is a better than the other. But at the same time, in moderation, in the moment, there's not one that's more righteous than the other. And that even takes us back to the parenting. Like, okay, as long as I don't look over my time as a parent and say, shoot, I was too gentle and I spared the rod, it doesn't matter if in this one night I go, peace is the answer. And there's like not one more righteous answer than the other. But how have you guys dealt with it? Because you guys went first, you had kids first.

Chris Alessi:
And I know for a fact anybody that was like, what did you do for Marino for vaccines? Was like, we've already talked to the Mohas too. So how have you guys like handled all that?

Christopher Muiña:
I think with Gia, we had a similar thought of like, this is a perfect newborn that God has formed perfectly with no problems right now. How is it, like you said, that they are not allowed to drink water, which I don't really agree with either, but the doctors say they can't drink water for I don't know how long. But yet you're going to, you want to push to fill them with a cocktail of chemicals at two days old? Yeah, like that just didn't make sense for us. It was like, no.

Chris Alessi:
Why?

Christopher Muiña:
How does that at all make sense? So with both of our kids we were like, nope, we're not going to do anything. There's no need to do anything. Maybe in the future I'm sure they'll get a few vaccines. Like the thing is that now you see the amount of vaccines that the CDC is pushing and it's or removing all. Now they're removing it. But a year ago they were pushing, I don't know, 70 vaccines before they were 5 years old. When we were growing up, it was 17. Really? Yeah, it was nothing.

Christopher Muiña:
And I also, I can't help but to think because I know parents like this and you hear stories of my one year old was perfectly fine. I went to the doctor for their visit and they gave him a cocktail of vaccines and they took a nap and they woke up and they were different. That has to be the most heartbreaking thing as a parent. So we were like, that's not necessary. Our kids are perfectly healthy. There's absolutely nothing wrong with them. There's no need to fill them with, with these man made chemicals to prevent polio.

Chris Alessi:
Why?

Stephanie Muiña:
I think like as you said, at.

Chris Alessi:
Least not right now.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah, not right now. And with that whole conversation, the food conversation is very different from the vaccine conversation for me with the vaccines. I'm not anti vaccine. I just don't think that they should have that many right now. I think they just need to develop a little bit more. And I noticed something about the attitude of that community had a very big distrust and bitterness towards doctors where, like, they would walk into the pediatrician and just have their defenses up. The nurses are gonna push it on me. The doctor gets so rude.

Chris Alessi:
The anti vaxxers.

Stephanie Muiña:
The anti vaxxers, which has probably happened. I think that those stories are valid. I'm sure you had some people pressing you, but I didn't really like that they would pair it with such a distrust towards the professionals that I also ran to when my kids had the flu.

Chris Alessi:
Yeah, that's very true.

Stephanie Muiña:
And I also, like, early on, I'm like, we can't just throw out all of these people that help us so much when our kids are sick, that give you the medicine that you need, that help your child, that can recognize something in your child that maybe you don't. I think that there needs to be a healthy balance of trust with your doctor. He's not going to determine my decisions for my life. I'm not going to just bow down to everything he says. But I do want to trust this person that sees children all day, every day and sees the worst of the worst. So that. That was one thing that I really did not like. I'm like, okay, I can be slow on my vaccines without being so defensive with every doctor I come into contact with.

Stephanie Muiña:
I think that there's a better relationship you can have there. And then when it comes with the food conversation, there is only so much energy that I can give in a day. Only so much. Like, I started off pretty big on, okay, let me see. I want Gianna. For me, it wasn't healthy food. It was more, I want her to sit down for every single meal. Because they talk about, like, the European way of raising your children and how European kids are always sitting down calmly and they're enjoying dinner.

Stephanie Muiña:
So that was a huge thing for me. Well, then I had a child and I was met with reality and I'm like, children at home see their toys and they don't want to sit down and eat. So what are you thinking? And that's when I realized, okay, I need to relax here. I need to fix my expectations. It's not that I. Sorry. I need to fix my expectations just a little bit. It's.

Stephanie Muiña:
It's not that I'm permitting this. I'm not tolerating this all the time, but I also gotta, like, read the room. And if Let It Go was playing in the background, she's not gonna wanna sit down and eat her dinner and also make the food that she likes. Like If I'm having. I made one time like shepherd's pie. And G is a very picky eater. She really just didn't want the shepherd's pie. And I'm like, no, you have to eat what I'm eating.

Stephanie Muiña:
That's what the book said. And it's like, just make her chicken nuggets. She just wants chicken nuggets. What's so bad? And she eats and she's. And it'll take you literally 10 minutes to put the chicken nuggets in the oven. So that's where I. And then of course, I buy healthy chicken nuggets. I buy the ones with like no nitrates or no chemicals.

Stephanie Muiña:
You find a healthier version, you find out. And in my house, it's always going to be the healthier version. The healthier version of Oreos, of Cheetos, like, it's all healthier. I, I don't have red 40 because I did notice the effects on my kids. But it's like that. I mean, if we're at a party and this kid is handing out gummy bears, I'm like, whatever, let them party. They're having a good time. So I think that it's what I decide to give my energy to.

Stephanie Muiña:
And being careful with that because I also want to protect my joy as a mom. I want to have fun at the dinner table. I don't want to be having Gianna crying next to me because I forced her to sit down. I want to enjoy my night and enjoy my time with her.

Chris Alessi:
You know, I sit down with my wife and enjoy sushi right now. Mom and dad raised me on fast food.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah. Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
Like it's, it's. There's obviously health issues that I have to make sure I'm constantly keeping top of mind. But like, I didn't. Mom and dad didn't ruin me.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
Because that's what they needed at the time. And you brought up an interesting thing, Steph. You brought up the word trust. And I think that that's a huge deal. Because the truth is we're not looking down on the people that trust the cdc and we're not looking down on the people that go, you know what? Maybe I just want to be more personally involved. It's the same exact principle of public school.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
Some people say public school is what made me. Other people say I want to be involved in my kids education. Some people don't have a choice. Because of their lifestyle, they can't pull their kid into their home or take them to a different measure of Schooling, so they have to rely on the public school. Which is why it's not a matter of righteousness. It really is a matter of what can you. What can you make happen? And it's important to recognize that. That we kind of look at it and go, okay, we heard all those horror stories.

Chris Alessi:
We read books about the horror stories, but the horror stories weren't why we chose what we chose. It was because this just to us, with our conviction, didn't really seem like the thing we needed to do. And, you know, and guys, I. I don't think anybody realizes how stressful and hard it is when right before we walked in, I saw a video of a Doctor on. On 60 Minutes basically saying all the stuff that you have heard is healthy, that, like, RFK is pushing. None of it's a big deal. He called it re erecting. Re arranging the chairs in the Titanic.

Chris Alessi:
And he's like, all the stuff you're doing ain't gonna matter. And it's like, well, hold on. Like, to us, it goes, you know what? If I trust people I've never met to tell me how to handle my kid, then I'm going to live by the results that I get from that. If I want to be a little more involved and go, okay, some people got together in a room and said, this is the list that you should do with whatever their motivations are. And I think, well, hold on. In our home, in our room, we think this is what we should do. It's okay to say that's what we're going to do.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
And for some, you know what? If they want to go by what the other room said, that's fine. Because at the end of the day, we're both trusting God.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yes.

Chris Alessi:
Because everything is flawed. And parenting is essentially. And Alan, I'm looking at you, and I said, parenting is essentially the little boy who brought the five loaves and two fish to Jesus.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
This is all I got. This is all I can do.

Stephanie Muiña:
Help me out.

Chris Alessi:
I need you to make more than this.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
Like this moment, I am frustrated, and I don't have the grace right now for what my kid is doing. And so I am going to raise my voice, and it's just what this moment. I think this moment calls for. And then when it's all over, I'm gonna go to the room, get in bed, look at her, and go, I shouldn't have done that. I didn't need. Well, that. Lord, I need you to make this okay.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
Yeah. I just need you to make it more Than enough. And there are plenty of people, People who gave into, like, the every kid gets a trophy thing. Some of the gentle parenting gave their kids iPhones at 9 years old. Like, there are some of those people, and they need the Lord to take their offering and make it way more than enough. So we're all in the same boat. But I do think ultimately it's like, okay, at the end of the day, I'm gonna have to trust God either way. Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
And so let me do the thing that I think makes me feel at peace.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
Let me do the thing that I think is what is ultimately trusting God. I don't necessarily know if rejecting modern medicine is more faithful towards God than receiving the miracle of modern medicine.

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
At the same time, I don't think making some other expert the leader of my life is trusting God either. Yeah. So finding that middle ground of Lord medicine is a miracle. Rachelle gets a headache. She's pregnant. You're not going to die if you have a Tylenol. Up to this point, five months into pregnancy, she's had Tylenol once.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
It's not gonna mess anything up.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
At the same time, I'm not gonna make.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
You know, Tyler all my provider in a way. So it's just good to realize, like, we're all just trying.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
Thank God we have each other. Having each other sometimes makes it harder.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
Because I see the way your kid responds in a moment and go, I wish my kid responded. But it's just. It's. It's all okay. And I. I hope that the. The person watching this recognizes, like, this is a. It's a deal.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
We're all dealing with it. And you know what? Our kids are going to be great.

Christopher Muiña:
I think it's too. It's a mindset that is. I want to be careful how I say this, but a very Americanized mindset. Like, we like Boston, the city of Boston. As soon as you walk into that city, there is a. A feeling of revolution. Like, the people there, they are the most patriotic, but they're also like, don't tell me what to do. It stems from the.

Christopher Muiña:
The history of that city. And we just simply don't want government telling us what to do, how to raise our kids in the. In the medical world. We don't want government involved in. Too involved in our business. We don't want government too involved in our church. We don't want government too involved in our guns. Like, it's a very American mindset because you.

Christopher Muiña:
You hear stories or you Talk to people in Europe and they're like, we want the government involved fully in how we like socialize medicine, do everything. They want government to tell them how to live their life. And in America that's just not the case. So we just don't want it. I don't. At least for me, it's not really a spiritual or a self righteous decision. It's more of a. It's not even a political thing.

Christopher Muiña:
It's more of like a don't tell me how to raise my kid. You know, I will go to you as a professional if I need your.

Chris Alessi:
Help, when I need your profession, when.

Christopher Muiña:
I need your profession. But if I'm going to choose to hold off on the vaccines until they're older, then that's a decision that I have as their father.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah.

Christopher Muiña:
So that's kind of like my view on it.

Stephanie Muiña:
Yeah, makes sense, no?

Chris Alessi:
Yeah, makes sense.

Stephanie Muiña:
Well, this was a wonderful conversation with all of us and I hope that it just brought everybody else encouragement that we are all in this together with these crazy kids and we don't know what we're doing. And there's a new problem because now what's on the horizon for all of us is school and homeschooling versus regular school. What are we gonna do? That's like the next big question for all of us. And that's gonna come with its opinions, that's gonna come with, come with its different options. And you know what, like you just said, we trust God every step of the way. God, These children belong to the Lord anyways. We're just here to steward them. We're here to raise them.

Stephanie Muiña:
We're here to raise them in the ways of God. Make them love his church, make them love people, make them love our that, us, their family. And we're not doing it alone, which is the best way to do it. So this was a wonderful conversation. Thank you guys for sharing. Thank you babe, for sharing. It was beautiful. And we hope that you enjoyed today's podcast on the family business with the Alessi's.

Stephanie Muiña:
Have a wonderful day. Thanks so much for joining the family business today. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to follow or subscribe. Share it with a friend and leave us a review. We appreciate your support and can't wait.

Richelle Alessi:
To have you join us next time.

Stephanie Muiña:
Because family is everybody's business.