Pushed to the Limit? How to Handle More in Your Life Without Crashing Out

Chris Alessi:
How am I going to take care of things by the time this baby is born? Don't carry the extra weight and pressure, because I've heard that worry and stress is like putting a down payment on a home you might never live in. And one of the things you can't project into the future is exactly how God's going to bless you. All right, everyone, welcome to another episode of the Family Business with the Alessi's. And today it's with Chris and Rachelle Alessi, sometimes considered the junior Alessi, but very glad to be here with you today. Before we dive into what we want to talk about, which is, I know we say this a lot, but it really is you and I talking to each other. We're just filming it. We want to just let you know, if you want to join our Family Business newsletter, you can. The link is in our description because we're closing in on a million YouTube views.

Richelle Alessi:
That's amazing.

Chris Alessi:
It's actually very amazing for what's been accomplished in just a few years. So if you'd like to even help get the word out, just share this episode with a few people, one or two people. It'd be really helpful. And I actually think that this conversation will be helpful for people and shareable because it's a conversation we're actually having a lot right now. Yes, seemingly we're having bits and pieces of it every time we're in the car. And it's really about growing our capacity and having to figure out how we're going to handle more. And forgive me if I'm looking at my wife in the eye a lot while we're having this discussion and while she's looking at me, because. Great news.

Chris Alessi:
Yes, great news. You want to say it.

Richelle Alessi:
Yes, we are having a second child.

Chris Alessi:
We are pregnant. She's pregnant. Everyone makes fun of me when I say we. She is pregnant right now. She's about 10 weeks. We just announced it to the church on Sunday. That was wonderful. But it's brought some challenges and not with the actual pregnancy.

Chris Alessi:
Thank the Lord we've got very healthy pregnancies. But you don't enjoy your pregnancies all that much?

Richelle Alessi:
Not really.

Chris Alessi:
And why is that?

Richelle Alessi:
I guess my children just decide to take everything from me from the beginning. And it's just. It's a little bit different. I just spend most of my pregnancy, you know, like other women, nauseous and.

Chris Alessi:
Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
Doing all that stuff. And.

Chris Alessi:
Well, we have found that. That you do have harder pregnancies than. Than most. And it does put a An extra, an extra layer of difficulty in our everyday that I'm sure normal pregnancy does. But we've, we've figured out that this is going to be something tough. We prayed and hoped that the second would be different because Marino's was tough. We had to get you on a nice little nausea medication to help that you took every single day of the first pregnancy. I remember actually the day Marino was born, we're in the hospital and I went to get you your medication and you were like, I don't need it anymore.

Chris Alessi:
It was great. We were like, wait, what? And it was the craziest, like night and day. Because of how badly you needed the meds early, we were able to get them early for you this time too. It's been very helpful. But we're not here to really talk about the challenges as much as we're here to talk about how we push through them. And you and I did a podcast episode where there was a girl that was kind of crashing out because of her load. She was a single girl, she had a job that apparently required a lot of travel back and forth. And we were just kind of talking about, got to figure it out, man.

Chris Alessi:
You got to have your capacity. You can't complain. Um, but even as we are approaching the beginning of a new season, we're having to go back and kind of listen to our own selves in that podcast and remind ourselves that we can handle this. That. Because the truth is we want even more than we currently have.

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
When we look at our job, we want more responsibility. When we look at our family, we do want more than just two kids, and the one is already wild and a lot to take care of. And we want to add to that. You have a business, you want to see that business grow. I have things I'm doing that I want to see grow. And we're constantly having to talk to each other about how we don't crash out, how we don't, you know, doom spend to cope with all the stress of our current load. And so even in the midst of a lot of the pregnancy related obstacles, we've had to really talk to each other constantly, both me to you and you to me, about how we can handle our capacity, how we can handle what's on our plate, how we do it better. And so because this is not a conversation we've necessarily had, and now we're living in the fruit of the.

Chris Alessi:
It's a conversation that we always have and there's always fruit to it, but we keep having the conversation we wanted to just continue to discuss that here on the podcast. So, you know, there's been a lot of little bits and pieces of information that have come our way. This really, really helped us.

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
So let me ask you this question. In the midst of everything that you're going on, you're about to become a mother of two. Your world is changing. Everything is changing in your. In your mind, in your heart. Some of the things you're telling me even about, you know, Marino and what, how his life will change when there's a second. How are you dealing right now with your. Your responsibility and your load growing?

Richelle Alessi:
I would say it's really about just remembering that I've done it before. Of course, not to this level. You know, I've never had two children. I had one and been pregnant with another. This is my first time. But I've done things before what it required me to do more. And I just have to remind myself I've done that before. It's just a new level now, and I just have to do it again.

Richelle Alessi:
And it's not a don't feel, push it down and keep going type of thing, but it's a. Recognize what you are feeling because you felt it before. But don't let that stop you from continuing, because you can continue. And I think the biggest thing is just mentally, and it's not always a great day. You know, you have good days, you have not so good days, but just reminding yourself that I can do this, I really can do anything through Christ, who gives me strength to. For today and in these seasons, it's so easy to feel the burden of what I felt yesterday, what I'm feeling now, and what I might feel tomorrow. But the biggest thing you tell me is it's just today. And even God in the Bible talks about tomorrow has enough worries for itself.

Richelle Alessi:
So how about we just focus on today? How can we get through today? How can we not just be like, the day is over, thank God, but say, how can we conquer today so then we can do tomorrow, right? And try my best to not feel the overwhelming feeling of everything except today. And then if I do today right, then it's a stepping stool for tomorrow. And the same thing for, you know, everything, right? Especially right now. It's so hard when you feel a certain way that you can't fully control. That's harder because you have to mentally tell yourself much more, you know, but it was like, it was like that with Marino and look at him now. And I just have to remember, in two years, there will be another baby just like him, whether it's a girl or a boy, we'll see.

Chris Alessi:
I can't wait to find out.

Richelle Alessi:
But that will be healthy and strong. And that is the reason why I felt that way, because they took everything out of me. But it's good to just remind yourself even of the good in the middle of what you're going through or feeling, because there is good, like, God is so good, and there are things that we can look to that will give us hope to get through today and tomorrow, to experience a better day, a better month when the time comes. So. Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
Well, it makes me think of that. I don't know what you'd call it. I guess it's an anecdote. But, like, there's two wolves, you know, and you've got the. The good, and you've got the. The evil. And it's like, you know, which wolf's gonna win? Well, it's whichever one you feed.

Richelle Alessi:
Yep.

Chris Alessi:
So whichever wolf you decide to feed is the one that will grow stronger and then win. We heard it yesterday in our coaching session. You know, whatever gets my focus gets my authority.

Richelle Alessi:
Right.

Chris Alessi:
And there are totally reasons to complain right now. And one of the hardest things that I'm having to walk through, and I'm asking my friends about, how do you let your wife just complain when she wants to? Because the reality is that that's what you need from me when at the same time, I will not shed my responsibility of keeping the things that are worthy of praise on our hearts and our minds.

Richelle Alessi:
Right.

Chris Alessi:
And so, you know, it's funny, I've asked some of my friends, I've been like, how do you handle it? And they go, I was about to ask you the same thing, but it's. It's like I have to wake up in the morning and think as my capacity is growing, we have a lot of friends right now that are getting a second, third, and fourth kid. I know that the husbands are processing. How am I going to pay for everything? One of our. Our co workers was just. Just literally talking right now before we walked in the podcast booth. What is she going to do during her maternity leave when her second kid is born with her first child? What is she going to do with that child? Because her husband's got to go to work. She can't be taking care of both kids, especially when she's recovering.

Chris Alessi:
This is things that people are dealing with. And it's like, okay, in the midst of all of that, if I wake up every day and I really Focus on the things that I can complain about. Well, then that gets my focus and then that gets my authority. And so, you know, one of the things that I've brought back since we went through this, because it was almost like the first five, six weeks, we were like, oh, my God, this pregnancy is going to be so different. You feel kind of fine, like, this is great. And then boom. Yes, it kind of went back. Ever since then, I've decided to take, you know, just to bring it back up.

Chris Alessi:
Another thing my coach has said to me, which is if I wake up in the morning and I read the word and I get my workout in, I can handle anything that day. And so I've really gotten, like, very intentional with, not because I've always read my Bible in the morning, but now I'm going back to that sermon to myself. And I did it again this morning and I'm reading things to me because I can't let my inability to feed the right wolf add more pressure and stress to our home. Like, I saw that a couple days ago where I was tired, Marina was not happy, just not tired either. And it just was one of those things where it was like, I'm allowing a 2 year old to set the tone of my home on a night where you really needed rest in peace. And I was like, man, I can't do that. I have to wake up. And the truth is that that's just the reality.

Chris Alessi:
I've got to wake up and I have to tell myself this is what I will think and feel and process today. And I can do that. Right now. It looks a lot different for you because if you got time, you should use it to chill. But I'm also noticing that that's one of the greatest gifts that I can give my family is that waking up and telling myself which dog I'll feed, which wolf I'll feed. Like, literally getting into the word for the purpose of Lord, you have given me a fresh batch of mercy. I have what I need today. And I'm going to ask you what this means to you because this is probably our daily mantra now.

Chris Alessi:
But what do you hear? Because we brought this back up in the first pregnancy when. When we tell each other all we can do is bring our five loaves and our two fish.

Richelle Alessi:
Yes. You know, it's. That is so hard when you're running at a certain pace and all of a sudden you slow down completely. And it's not because you want to, it's just because your body's telling you to and you Hear that? And you start to think, well, I'm not going to run as fast as everybody else right now. But it's just a season. And it's almost like we have to just simplify things right now and control what we can control. Make decisions early to create mental space, you know, but then what you can bring, bring it, don't keep it. If you can do something for three hours, do it and do it the best that you can.

Richelle Alessi:
And then after that, you crash, you crash. But you can go home and rest in peace because what you could do, you did. And it's also just now not comparing yourself to what everybody else is doing, because that comparison game in your mind will take so much space that then you won't be able to do or even bring your two loaves and your two fish because you're too occupied comparing what everybody else is bringing and not what you have. And it's like, it's okay that in this season I can bring what I was bringing a month ago, but I know that won't be me. I'll be different in two months and I'll continue and I'll maybe slow down again, but then I'll get back into it. And it's just knowing the season that's coming and preparing for it. And whenever you have that three hour window when you know you're your best, then give it your all and give it your best. Bring your two loaves and your two fish there.

Richelle Alessi:
And then be like, okay, I'm done, I'm crashing out now. But you can go home and know that what you could bring, you did bring. And it does make a difference because at the same time, I can't just crash out all the time because now there's a world that's depending on me. I have a lot of responsibilities that if I drop too many, it's not good. You know, there's grace for a period of time. But how am I even preparing for those things? Who am I getting involved to help me to continue to carry the load at home? We were just discussing it yesterday. My home can't just be dependent on how I feel right now, because you and Marino, you guys need stability, you need rhythms, you need things to continue functioning. And I'm not the only one carrying things.

Richelle Alessi:
Like, you have your, your job, you know, you have your things that you're carrying as well. The best thing is just doing it as a team. That really helps us. And now more than ever, in those moments, you realize how much working together, it's so important Because I can do right now what I was doing a month ago for our family. But you're not holding that over me. Like, why? You understand that this is just a season for us, and you've said, let me take this season and let me take. Let me bathe Marino. Let me feed him dinner, because you can't smell things.

Richelle Alessi:
Let me do those things. And I just know as. As guilty as I want to feel, because that's the nature. Like, I should be doing all these things right now. I am growing another baby, and I need.

Chris Alessi:
And I can't do that.

Richelle Alessi:
And you can do that, right? And so we just need to say it's a teamwork. It's a teamwork right now. Let me grow this baby for a couple of weeks. Let me get better, and then I can pick up some more things. But even like yesterday, when I do have an hour where I, like, I know this is the hour where I could do something. Let me help. Let me get dinner started. Let me create a plan.

Richelle Alessi:
Let me do things where we just work together. And you just start to realize in those seasons more than ever, how much you need each other. Because I cannot imagine doing this right now without you, because you've been doing literally everything, because I can only do so much, but then I know I'll get better. But you've been so great at just helping and doing everything you can. And so it does allow me to bring my two loaves and two fish whenever I can, because I have a partner who is just the best. And so even in those moments, realizing that you, husband and wife, you're a team, and having grace for the other person is so important, while you maybe take on a little bit more. But then it'll reverse and then it will go back. And so.

Chris Alessi:
Well, I really appreciate a lot of what you said. That's very sweet of you. But I did tell you this past weekend that you're the strongest woman I know. Because even, like, nobody listening understands the extent of your pregnancies and how tough they are. And they all think, oh, she's doing great. Because, man, you use every ounce of energy you have to never put a burden on the public, on the people around you. And you just keep. My own grandmother was like, I know how much she struggles.

Chris Alessi:
And yet every time I see her, how you doing? She goes, I'm fine. And that's amazing. But that five loaves and those two fish thing, the idea is Jesus has to feed 5,000, and this kid brings him five loaves of bread and two fish. What was a kid doing with five loaves of bread, by the way? But he's showing up. He has that, and it's all the Lord needed. And, you know, that really means a lot to you and I right now, because it wasn't a formula. If I have just five and two, okay, I can make that work. But if I only had four, what he needed was just one kid who brought all he had.

Chris Alessi:
And this isn't all gas, no breaks type message where it's like, don't stop. Keep going. You have to keep going. It's not a, you know, like, no days off.

Richelle Alessi:
Right.

Chris Alessi:
The reality is they say, no, I just have. I know what I'm bringing today is not enough, but I can't withhold. And so, you know, you say, I'm kind of doing everything right now. That's not the truest statement. But I do know that there's an extra load on me. I do know that I have to help get things done at home that I like. I'm having to make, you know, his snack boxes in the morning. And so I went to Costco this weekend, and I'm like, what's the easiest way that I can make this kid his snack boxes in the morning?

Richelle Alessi:
Goldfish.

Chris Alessi:
Hey, hey, hey. Prepackaged processed stuff. No, I'm kidding. A lot of berries.

Richelle Alessi:
And he's never been happier.

Chris Alessi:
He actually hasn't touched him. But the reason I bring that up is because at the end of the day, there's a ton of stuff that didn't get done every day, and I just have to be okay with, okay, but did I bring all I had today? And if I did, then I have to bring all. I have to rest, and then I have to wake up the next day and do it again. And so there's. It's. It's like money. You're never gonna get to the end of your month and just have leftover. You're just not like, as much as, like, even if you're saving, like, you're saving for a purpose, it's not like, ah, I've leftover money.

Chris Alessi:
At least. That's not the reality for the majority of people. I just got to make sure that with the money I did have, I did. I did my best with it. And so with the time, with the energy, with the decisions we have, I just. I got to make the best decisions. So when you say, like, simplify everything, part of bringing my five loaves in my two fish is simplifying what I've got in my heart and my Mind. So, like, one of the things is like, I love my fantasy football group and I love what they're doing.

Chris Alessi:
But I started realizing because my season's not going that great, I was really being emotionally moved by that. And I think it was because I was stressed and it's just an easy outlet. I had to put that to bed. I had to go, okay, I'm going to simplify what's on my plate right now. I'll keep playing, but I have to have fun with it because this can't be an added stressor. I don't have that room anymore. I started looking at, you know what? Marino's got this obsession right now with towels. And he just loves chewing on rags and towels.

Chris Alessi:
He just loves it, which is better than what he used to do, which was chewing on everything, everything. And there was like two weeks where it would make me angry, be like, no, those are clean. I've just decided it is so easy to do a load of laundry that I'm just gonna let this kid do it. And so, yes, we walk into a room and there's one of our rags on the floor and we're like, okay, whatever. But I would prefer that because I can't and I'd rather just do the laundry. I'm not big on Marino making messes. I don't like when Marino makes messes, but I've just realized it's a lot better that we let him make messes. And then when he's done, just I.

Richelle Alessi:
Pick up, teach him how to pick up.

Chris Alessi:
I'm kind of big on sons, specifically when their father speaks, they stop and they listen. But I'm dealing with a two year old, so I have to put some of that away a little bit. And even yesterday I spent more time talking to him and trying my best to get him to see what's going on in the house and help a little bit. And using the energy instead of feeling like this two year old is supposed to somehow already know, right? Like talking him through things and bringing the stress levels down in the home. Because being tough right now isn't helping everything. There's other ways to help. And so for me, you know, I have to keep looking at. I'm not going to get everything done.

Chris Alessi:
I'm not. It's just not going to happen. But did I bring all I have today? And if I did, then I have to be happy with that because it is just a season. You know, one of the biggest mistakes, at least I'll say that I know men make, is that they look at their life growing when they are about to have one kid or about to have a second kid or about to have a third, and they know they want even more than that, and they start thinking, how am I going to afford that one day? And they start to carry the stress and the pressure of a life that would take at least two years to get to or three years to get to. And it's like, I really shouldn't be thinking about that. I should be thinking about this season. I should be thinking about right now. How am I going to take care of things by the time this baby is born.

Chris Alessi:
Don't carry the extra weight and pressure, because I've heard that, you know, worry and stress is like putting a down payment on a home you might never live in. And one of the things you can't project into the future is exactly how God's going to bless you. So the truth is, we should look at our future and go, if I do my part, I know God will do his. So I'm going to focus on getting through this day and stewarding this day. Well, it's not about, can I make sure I have enough money to put three or four kids through school today? Can I have enough money to get this first one in a daycare? Can I do that? And as we do that, there's a snowball effect to, okay, I've been able to figure this out, and now I figured out today, I can figure out tomorrow. And I think that's one of the biggest ways we can simplify things. Let me focus on the season I'm in. My dad just preached an unbelievable message on.

Chris Alessi:
And I say unbelievable because it was just. It was phenomenal. But, like, learning to say goodbye.

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
And you know what? There's a part of that here. Saying goodbye to the seasons of just one kid, saying goodbye to the nights where we were just so perfectly, we had mastered the one kid thing and just, okay, I can say goodbye to that because I'm gonna get to say hello to something Next. I have a video or a voice recording of our Marino last night singing you are My Sunshine.

Richelle Alessi:
Yes.

Chris Alessi:
He's singing it with us.

Richelle Alessi:
Yes.

Chris Alessi:
We would have never been able to embrace that if we didn't say goodbye to him as an infant.

Richelle Alessi:
Right.

Chris Alessi:
And that's a hard thing. We look at pictures and we're like, oh, my God, Marino, look where that baby go. But now I have this boy who sings with me at night, and he'll. He'll pop up and go, da, da. I want to play Rock, paper, scissors with me. He's just the sweetest, most affectionate person. His love for my grandmothers right now is, like, makes me want to cry. His love for his cousins.

Chris Alessi:
We said goodbye to an infant so we could say hello to a toddler. Well, in the same way, I do have to say goodbye to the days where I used to master my season, to say hello to the one where I have to embrace this difficulty, because that will allow me again to master this again, Say hello to this again, and then enjoy a life with two kids.

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
And that's going to be even better.

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
Because what I just keep hearing parents say is, when you have one, that kid is your heart. So when you have a second, you go, how would I ever love another kid the way I love my first? Then that kid is born, and you're like, oh, that's easy. That's out. Like, it just happens. So there's going to be more love. There's going to be more great moments. There's going to be more pictures in our phone. There's going to be more of all of that.

Chris Alessi:
And so it is on the other side of me just embracing the. The hard of this season. And, you know, I. I want to, like, talk to my dad about, like, the word presence and just really teaching our church, our people, our family, like, to focus on presence, even if it's hard. Like, let's just be present.

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
In this season right now. Let's give it our full.

Richelle Alessi:
Our.

Chris Alessi:
Let's give it our all. All five loaves, all two fish. Let's bring it all. Because when we do that, even in the hard season, the Lord finds a way to make it more than enough.

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
Think about the simple math. Five loaves of bread and two fish feeds seven people. There were 5,000, not including women and children.

Richelle Alessi:
Like, yeah.

Chris Alessi:
4,993 men didn't get food that day or wouldn't have. But with Jesus, it was more than enough.

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
And I just feel like as long as we get through the day, because there are moments where we're, like, pulling up to work, and you're like, I have a load today. I don't think I can do it. And we just go, just bring your own. Just bring your all. And I think that's huge because it even helps me when I get to the end of the day. I just have. I'm not asking that I get everything done. I'm asking, all right, Did I bring all I had today? And if not, then I make an adjustment for the next day, and I make sure I bring my all.

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah, but. And I think that's when capacity really grows, when you're challenged like that. Because you also know this is all I could bring today, but this is not all I could just keep bringing for the rest of my life. I have to bring more, and I have to find a way to bring more, even if. If I'm feeling this way, because I. I have to grow. I have to. Because, you know, you.

Richelle Alessi:
You want to bring more to what you're doing. And even in those moments, I think that's when your capacity truly grows because you have to, one, push yourself, but then to be creative on how you can make that happen and whether that is you pushing through and maybe even getting people's help and helping you. But that is the moment where you don't feel the best, but that's when you truly grow because you start to say, this is all I can bring. And that's great for today, but I know for tomorrow and for the next day, I need to find a way to do more and bring more and. And just get creative on that. And I've noticed in those moments where I'm like, I think I just can't do it anymore. And I love. Because that's not our culture here.

Richelle Alessi:
And you know, everybody, especially with your parents and everybody, that's just not what we do here. We're not just gonna be like, oh, you just can't do. Okay, you can't do it. There is a. We're gonna push ourselves, but in a healthy way, because God has more for our lives. And, yeah, I'm gonna bring everything I have, but I also want to show the Lord and everybody, Lord, I am. I'm going to bring you all because I. I want to.

Richelle Alessi:
And it might only be three loaves and two fish, but the passion is going to be there. And tomorrow will turn in more and more, and I will. We'll figure it away together. And the grace of God just covers that season. And you don't feel it in the moment until, like, it's over. And you're like, how did I do that? I don't even. You look back and you really start to question. I don't even know how I did that, but it was like going to.

Chris Alessi:
Israel, six and a half months pregnant, doing 10 days walking in Israel.

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah, I look at that now, and I'm telling me, I wouldn't do this today, but back then I was so. I didn't know. I didn't know what it was to be Pregnant. It was my first time. And I'm thinking I'm gonna do everything I can before he comes. But even those moments, like the grace of God really does grace you. And.

Chris Alessi:
And if you found out we can go to Italy in three or four weeks, you'd find a way to get there.

Richelle Alessi:
I don't know.

Chris Alessi:
I don't know.

Richelle Alessi:
This time around, yes, you would, but maybe.

Chris Alessi:
No, you would.

Richelle Alessi:
I know you, but you just. You. You work for it. And, and if it's. If it's a God's way, he will provide everything. And there's something that I've. In our five, almost five years of marriage and, you know, one son and now pregnant with another. That's really the only experience I have.

Richelle Alessi:
I can't talk to a family of four that's, you know, in a crazy schedule having to manage different. I can't do that. But what I can talk about is knowing every season we've stepped into, from when we were dating to engage to then married, to then having faith to say, okay, we are going to have our first child, to then stepping and saying we can have our second. What I've noticed with every season is that the Lord has always provided every single time we've decided to step into that next. It's never been easy. Things never come just easy and perfect. We have to have a great attitude and that what's. What might make it look like it's easy and perfect.

Richelle Alessi:
But things are not easy. You have to work for those things and you have to trust the Lord for those things. But when you do step into it and you're saying, lord, I'm stepping into what you have for me in the next, for our family, for our home. He truly just blesses it. And there's always this fear of, like, how are we going to do it? How are we going to provide for two. How are we going to find our next home? Those fears always come. But I just go back to our first season of conquering something together, accomplishing something together, which was our wedding. God provided for everything, and he found a way to set us up to where we are today.

Richelle Alessi:
So in the same way, I just have to remember. I have to go back and remember on the days I just feel awful, be like, God graced me back then, he'll grace me now, and he'll give me the grace that I need today. It wasn't the same as before, which means he can give me even more now because what I'm carrying now will be more. So he has even more grace for me and how beautiful that I'll get to experience a new level of grace and God and his provision in this new season of life. But before we're able to receive that blessing and hold that baby and feel the love for two and find a new home and be like, wow, we're here. We do have to go through that uncomfortable season of growing our capacity to be able to appreciate then the season. The season that we're on. And I will say this.

Richelle Alessi:
My. Yes, my first pregnancy, sure, maybe would have. It would have been, you know, rough for. For those couple of months. And you can say all of that and the same for this one. But I just keep reminding myself that that was the hard thing to get the baby I had. Marino has been healthy, strong, and till this day, he's just a big boy. I have a feeling this might be another boy, because it's the same thing.

Richelle Alessi:
Maybe I'm just like, I tell you, maybe I'm growing bees. I don't know. But I know the end result and where that would come from. And healthy. And it's the same thing with our life. We go through the hard season. But when that blessing comes, you're so grateful for everything you went through because you're able to appreciate that blessing so much more.

Chris Alessi:
Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
You are able to not just look at it and be like, yay, I got it. It's mine. But you're able to look back and say, God, thank you, and really give him the glory for what you have, because it wasn't by your own strength. It was truly about what God graced you for and gave you. And it's just a partnership all around. And it's beautiful, you know, because it's between me and God, but it's also between you, me and God. And you get to experience a new level and just remind yourself of those good things when you're having a awful day.

Chris Alessi:
Yeah. Yeah. And I love that. And, you know, one of the things I'd even want to clarify, like, is when you say, grow your capacity, we're not saying get a sixth loaf of bread and a third fish. We're saying just every day, bring what you got. And if you can find a way to do what you need to do better, where you can kind of reserve, like, can you automate some things?

Richelle Alessi:
Right?

Chris Alessi:
Like, it was great. We were listening to Marcus actually yesterday talk about how they need to, like, how they've simplified their groceries and stuff. And we're like, man, we. We figured that out. Can we do it again? Can we write Something as simple as, like, we. We have been dishwashing people. Because I don't think our dishwasher's plugged in.

Richelle Alessi:
No, it's never been plugged in. It looks beautiful, but never plugged in.

Chris Alessi:
Never plugged in.

Richelle Alessi:
We should probably plug it in now.

Chris Alessi:
We don't do what a lot of Hispanic families do, though, which is put.

Richelle Alessi:
Your chips or extra stuff in the dish. No, my dishwasher is just clean.

Chris Alessi:
It's just clean it up.

Richelle Alessi:
So brand new, never been used.

Chris Alessi:
But we have decided. Let's go. Let's go. Paper and plastic.

Richelle Alessi:
Yep.

Chris Alessi:
Just for the season. It's okay to, you know, change our budget up because it does save us some time.

Richelle Alessi:
Right.

Chris Alessi:
And I think just having, you know, that's just an example of some of the things that we do. Like, it's not trying to say, go get a sixth loaf of bread and a third fish. It's just bring a more efficient fifth, you know, five and three, five and two. Like, just bring what you have. And the other thing, too, that's really important. It's just, like, an obstacle to avoid is the thought that we deserve anything. Because what I will know is a trap for me is because I am carrying more. I'll get to the end of the day and go, I deserve to turn this Xbox on.

Chris Alessi:
I deserve to be hard on the kid. I deserve a day off. It's like, hold on. If I start thinking that way in this process, do I lose part of the gift and blessing of what the process is creating?

Richelle Alessi:
Right?

Chris Alessi:
Because the truth is I don't deserve marino. When I look at that boy and the gift that he is, I don't deserve that. So why would I have said in the process of getting him that I deserve some R and R or I deserved to turn off for a while? There's a difference between saying, hey, let's get off of our phone. We need it, and, hey, I deserve to be on my phone for 30 minutes because I've had a hard day. It's like, no, no, no, no, no. We have to look at healthy ways of turning off because we need it. Not turning off the way you want to because you deserve it. That's a big deal.

Chris Alessi:
And making sure there's no room for pride in this whole process.

Richelle Alessi:
Right.

Chris Alessi:
And if you start thinking I deserve because my day has been so hard, well, the truth is we deserve the hard. We don't deserve what the hard creates. And that's one of the things that I think is really, we got to get clear on. I Don't deserve to go play golf with the guys on Friday because I've had a hard week. Can I sit and say, hey, can we make that work? Because it would be beneficial to me. That's totally different then, deep down believing you deserve it. So that's. That was something I wanted to make sure we add to the convo.

Chris Alessi:
Because that is something I think I. I battle in my head. I'll be like, I deserve this because, you know, I. I deserve to turn this Xbox on, even though my son really needs attention right now, because I've had a hard day. I deserve to listen to sports in the, you know, the end of the day because, like, oh, it's been a hard day. It's like, no, let me make sure I'm not thinking that way. It doesn't help anybody. So I would almost want to leave everybody with, like, if you're really looking at a season that's.

Chris Alessi:
That's stretching you and growing your capacity. Find the level that rises all the boats. Find the tide. What's the thing that's going to actually make everything get better? And I really do believe it's waking up in the morning and telling yourself what you're going to think. I really do think it's. It's taking control of your thoughts for the day. It's getting into alignment with the right thoughts. Because I have found that it's a lot easier to control my emotions throughout the day in the midst of all the stress when I spent time that morning reminding myself of who I am.

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
And what I can accomplish. And my God's more than enough for me.

Richelle Alessi:
Right.

Chris Alessi:
This is an easy thing for the Lord.

Richelle Alessi:
Right?

Chris Alessi:
This. This. Preparing for a second child, helping run the church. All the stuff here. It's a heavy load for me. It's a light lift for the Lord, and it's going to be okay.

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah.

Chris Alessi:
You know, I'm thinking about why we're talking. Some of my friends that I know are just feeling the financial burden of providing for their family now that their wives are most likely going to have to stay home. It's a light lift for the Lord, Right. It's easy. So I'm not going to. Like, the disciples start stressing out over how we're going to feed all these people when it's very evident the Lord is not. It's a light lift for him. So.

Chris Alessi:
Yeah. So we're pregnant. Exciting. And just like everybody else, we are embracing the difficult season that we know is forcing us to grow our capacity.

Richelle Alessi:
Yes.

Chris Alessi:
We can handle it. We believe you can handle it. And I remember at youth, Gabby taught the whole youth at youth camp, the whole idea was the narrow road and that the narrow road was hard. And I preached a message that just said, you can handle hard. I don't know how many youth, two, three months later keep coming back to me saying, I can handle hard. And I hope that we pick that up today. Hey, we can handle it. Yeah, you got this.

Chris Alessi:
So we hope you were encouraged today by the family business with Chris and Rochelle, the junior Alessi's.

Richelle Alessi:
Yes.

Chris Alessi:
Adding a fourth Alessi. And I guess in a few weeks we'll be letting everybody know what the gender is.

Richelle Alessi:
Actually, we'll know by next week. I'm getting the test tomorrow, so maybe vote. Tell us what you think it is. A lot of people are going girl, clearly, so I don't know. Let's see.

Chris Alessi:
I want a boy only because I think I figured the boy out. Okay, so it's like, just add another. I know how to handle boys. If we have a girl, though, I will crash out. And everything I said in this podcast is just thrown out. Not because I don't want it, but because I'm already kind of soft. So what is a daughter gonna do to me? Thank you so much for joining us for another episode. We ask that you just keep scrolling.

Chris Alessi:
Spend more time looking at the content we have on the page. Make sure you share it as as we're getting closer and closer to a million views, but we hope this has blessed you today.

Richelle Alessi:
Thanks so much for joining the family business today. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to follow or subscribe. Share with a friend and leave us a review. We appreciate your support and can't wait to have you join us next time because family is everybody's business.