She Said Yes! How to Set The Right Expectations from Dating to Engagement | S7 E37

Richelle Alessi:
And it's because he really thought that I didn't wanna be with him Mhmm. And that I did not know how to end it. Yeah. Because for him, the his role, what the pressure of his Yeah. Of his life and everything, he thought that I was feeling pressure.

Gaby Alessi:
Yeah. And

Richelle Alessi:
that I didn't wanna be with him. Hey, everyone, and welcome to another episode of the family business with the Alessis. And today, we have an episode that we all have been waiting for. And I'm here well, my name is Rochelle, and I'm here with my sister-in-law, Gabby Alessi. Hello. Hello, everybody. And we're gonna have a great conversation today. As you guys might know, Gabby got engaged recently.

Richelle Alessi:
Yay. And we wanna know, Gabby, the story. We wanna know all the details. This is your time to share, and we have some fun questions to make it about expectation Yeah. Versus reality. We see that a lot, but we know that, even as Christians, our way looks a little bit different.

Gaby Alessi:
It does.

Richelle Alessi:
And so I'm excited. I'm a big fan of Christian and Gabby, and I I love you guys, and I am truly so excited for your wedding. And, I loved when you guys, I loved you guys when you were just separate. I loved you guys dating. I love you guys engaged, and I'm gonna love you guys when you get married. So it's gonna be amazing.

Gaby Alessi:
Well, thank you. I'm excited that we get to finally share this on the the podcast. There were so many times that we'd be in the podcast booth and, like, I think there was a podcast, an episode my dad and I did, and then my brother and I did a recap on dating. And it's hard because you're talking about dating, and you're in a relationship, but we didn't disclose that we were in a relationship while we were dating. So it was kind of like I had all of this this or not advice, but, like, stuff that I'd bring up, and I'd be like, well, if I were in a relationship meanwhile, I was in a relationship. So it's cool that we get to finally talk about it. And, I like the topic because it's not just like, oh, let's just talk dating. It's dating and engagement and the expectations, the reality, the pressure.

Gaby Alessi:
I think it's it's really good because I'm in the thick of it now. Yeah. Now I'm I'm picking up like, oh, that's why you and Chris did that. Or that's why Stefan Wienia did those things. Or that's why other people that have gone through this, that's why they made decisions like that.

Richelle Alessi:
I love it. We're excited. And, you know, before we get started, I want you guys to know that we have a text line. So if you wanna get any updates, please text family to (302) 524-0800.

Gaby Alessi:
We could make, like, a little jingle. Yeah. Just to remember. Just to remember it.

Richelle Alessi:
Because, actually, our channel right now has over 5,500 subscribers. Wow. And so if you're listening or watching, please make sure that you follow us and subscribe on YouTube. That's awesome. Thank you guys for subscribing. This is awesome. There's a good community here. Yep.

Richelle Alessi:
Alright. But let's get started. Let's do it. I'm excited. And, actually, I I had a couple questions, and I know as girls, we're just gonna flow. But can you tell us how did you and Christian meet? Yeah. What is your story? And, like, how did you know that

Gaby Alessi:
he was the one? Oh my god. So Christian and I have known each other since forever. I don't think I've never not known Christian. Or maybe maybe I didn't know Christian for ten months because he's ten months younger than me, so I was just born first. But Christian and I have been born and raised in Miami at the same church. His mom came to the church when she was, like, I think eight months pregnant with him. Wow. So, I mean, all he's known is the church or he has known is the church, and so we just grew up together.

Gaby Alessi:
I actually have this picture of us as kids. Oh my god. And this is Christian when he was it was his fourth birthday. And this is Christian. I don't know if you'll zoom in on the I don't know how they do this in post, but, this is a picture of us, and this was his fourth birthday at the church, funny enough. So then I we did this back when we first started dating. I took the old photo, and then I took the new photo. New photo.

Gaby Alessi:
And he did outgrow me, and he surpassed me quickly. But, yes, we've been born and raised at the church. We grew up together but apart. So because he was younger, it was kind of like the different age groups. And when you're younger, it's like age is a big deal. So, like, he was in the younger friend group with a bunch of the boys. I was with, like, the older friend group of some girls and then some guys too. But we all grew up around each other.

Gaby Alessi:
We just weren't together all the time. So we just kind of did our thing. We grew up. I remember girls liked him. Like, one of my girlfriends liked him at the time, and I told her, like, she we were 16, and I'm like, you need to avoid him. Like, he's not. And I didn't think anything of him. Like, it was just teenage stuff.

Gaby Alessi:
And then, yeah, we we got to a place where he kinda walked away from the church for a season, and then I was, here at the church serving, working at the church, doing my thing. And then he started to come back around. Mhmm. And he really did have this, like, kind of like this revelation, this new revelation of who God is because, I mean, growing up in church, you think you know God Yeah. And then sometimes you need to go through some things to really know him. Yeah. And so when he started coming back around, he felt this heart to serve and specifically in the youth. So he started serving in youth group.

Gaby Alessi:
I was a youth minister. I still am. And, about a year and a half into him serving at youth group, I kinda noticed him. And it it was funny because this sounds egotistical on my part, but I kept thinking like, wow, this guy keeps up with me. Because I had never really met a guy that kept up with me. I'm very driven. I have things that I wanna get done. I like to I'm kind of like an I I just initiate.

Gaby Alessi:
Like, I I'm that type of of girl. I'm very similar to my dad. So I had never met a guy that could keep up with me. And so I remember kind of looking to the side and it was Christopher, your husband, that told me, you wanna be with somebody that when you're running your race, you can look to your your right or to your left and the person's also running the race with you. And he's like, what's beautiful is when you're running your race and you're focused on what God has called you to do, you'll look over and that person's doing the same, but God's, like, quickly merging your races and, like, bringing them together. And he was like, if that's what you are seeing with Christian, then it's something to pursue. Well, I didn't know at the same time, Christopher's having the same conversation with Christians. And, basically, I tell people all the time, my brother met like, he's our our matchmaker.

Gaby Alessi:
Oh. If it wasn't for Christopher, I don't think Christian and I would get together because there was just some things because of ministry and positions and titles that we kinda had to, like, maneuver and do the right way. So we started dating. And then on our first date, I think it was it was clear in my mind. I think it was clear in his mind, and we wouldn't have gotten together had we not believed there was a future. I think the the both of us were very confident that this was something. But on our first first date, I threw a bunch of a million questions at him. How long are you gonna wanna date, and how much this, and are you gonna handle ministry? Can you handle, like, some of the pressures of the limelight and the attention and people asking me questions? And I just threw everything at him.

Gaby Alessi:
And, he just kept saying, I wouldn't be here had I not considered those questions. Like, we wouldn't be at this dinner. And our lives just aligned. Yeah. Like, before chemistry, before even physical attraction, before a year in that we really started, our lives were aligned from day one. Yeah. And that our families were even our families were equally yoked.

Chris Alessi:
Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
You

Gaby Alessi:
know? Like, you could be equally yoked, the families aren't.

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah. And

Gaby Alessi:
I know everybody's situation's different, but that spoke a lot to me. I I I think I needed that. And so our families were aligned. Our future was aligned. What I love about him is he's a visionary. He's someone that can see and, like, he has ideas, and that's really not a gift of mine, and that's something I prayed for. And he had that. So it was just kinda like before any of the attraction came, the the foundational things that I had prayed for and wanted and needed were already there.

Richelle Alessi:
Were there. Yeah. So it was kind of

Gaby Alessi:
a no brainer, and it just made sense. And, like, we we fell hard. Like, once that was settled, we fell hard. It was like and it was instant. Like, I think two or maybe a month in, we were like, yeah, we love each other. Like, we can just say this. Like, we love each other. But it wasn't, again, it wasn't out of this butterfly feelings.

Gaby Alessi:
Yeah. I think we really loved each other because it was like our lives are so aligned.

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah.

Gaby Alessi:
And it's kinda crazy. Like a lot of times we say it, we're so similar in a lot of ways, but it's just God's really brought us together and molded us into, I think, good counterparts for one another.

Richelle Alessi:
You know, I love that because even before you and Christian dated, and it's similar to me and Chris, people don't know, but you guys served Yeah. And did not just talk. You did nothing but serve together for how long?

Gaby Alessi:
Like I think a year and a half. Maybe just a year and a half.

Richelle Alessi:
And he had been part of the church. Yeah. His family's been part of the church for years. For years. But that was around the time that you guys started to serve together. Yeah. And, you guys were running your race. Mhmm.

Richelle Alessi:
And I love that because you were not focused on each other. No. You were focused on what God had for you, what you knew at the time your season was calling you to. Yeah. And you were obedient to that. Yeah. And what I loved even about you guys is that even when that time came where people saw you together, you two it's not that you didn't see it. Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
But you were really saying, I'm not gonna let anything distract me from what God has for me right

Gaby Alessi:
now. Yes.

Richelle Alessi:
And because of that in your obedience is actually what I think made all of us be like, no, you guys, you need to be together.

Gaby Alessi:
Mhmm.

Richelle Alessi:
You you guys need to be together. Yeah. And I think we've even seen it throughout the course of your dating and engagement where both of you were so submissive to the timing Yeah. And the process that your parents had given. Yeah. And not from a place of, like, not trusting them. Yeah. But you really trusted their timing Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
And what they saw for you. And I think that's even the reason why we love you guys even more because we can see that submission of wanting to do it right. Yeah. And, seeing how you both served together in the youth group, the youth group didn't know for a long time.

Gaby Alessi:
The youth group didn't know. I think they all knew, but they they really respected us and our relationship, but the youth group because we didn't we didn't want it to be this, like, we didn't want it to quickly turn into the Gabby and Christian show because we know it could. Like, as the league, kids are constantly looking for relationships. They're looking for who likes each other. That just sparks. Well, the youth group should not be about us. It's never been it's never been about me, like, as the leader. Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
And

Gaby Alessi:
I didn't want that to be a thing. And even now that we're engaged and people know, we're still very sensitive with it. Like, we forget to sit together sometimes because we didn't sit together for, like, two years, and now we're like, oh, we can sit together in a church. We can talk to each other. But we wanna be sensitive because I don't want an environment for young people to come and have a relationship with the Lord and meet other people, and it should be about them. Yeah. It can become about us. Yeah.

Gaby Alessi:
So we're we're we try to be mindful of that, and we we also know that we're setting an example for all of them. Some of these kids don't know what a healthy, godly relationship looks like, and so they're looking at us. Like, Rochelle, even when it came to it comes down to, like, the wedding dress that I picked. Like, you were there. Like, there's different options. And and Yeah. In Miami, they have a lot of tight dress options, frankly. And they look stunning and I fell in love with them and I was like, I love the way that I look.

Gaby Alessi:
But I also knew that this is like one day for me to be a bride Yeah. And people were gonna learn from this day Yes. That I have a bunch of 16 year old girls and even 13 year old girls that are so excited about this wedding. They keep joking. They're like, it's the royal wedding. And I'm like, chill. Don't don't blow my ego up, please. But they're so excited and it's beautiful because they're getting they're just looking at an example and it's I remember being that young too.

Gaby Alessi:
So back to it, I I chose a dress that I knew would be modest and honorable. Yeah. It's not about being a prude. It's not about covering up. It's being honorable. Yeah. And I didn't wanna set an example even on the the day that's all about me. Right? It's my day.

Gaby Alessi:
I wanted it to be something that was honorable to people around, just like how we've done our relationship.

Richelle Alessi:
I love that. And your dress is beautiful. Thank you. And I can't wait for everybody to see it. I know. It's gonna be

Gaby Alessi:
so fun. I can't wait. But now

Richelle Alessi:
that we're talking about dating and you did the dating, you know, you're engaged. Yes. What are some things that you feel like are very different than what you expected? Things that you saw, you know, you see things in movies, you see things in family, you see things in the church. And, you you have this idea of what dating is like until you get to your dating relationship Yeah. And most importantly, with the person that you're gonna marry. Yeah. And you have all these expectations and then some things are very different.

Gaby Alessi:
Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
What are some of those things that you feel like have been different than you expected?

Gaby Alessi:
I think one of the things that I had to work through I don't wanna say that it was a struggle because it's part of dating. Things that are the thing that I had to work through that I didn't know would be work was the the mental battle when we first started dating, and I'd actually say the first year dating. Because looking back, I could tell you, oh, I knew he was the one for me. But I know that because we're where we're at now Yeah. I'm confident in it. I remember when we came back from our first date, we I think Lauren was the only one that was in town. My parents were on a work trip, and I got home at, like, around 11:30, and I just had, like, this rush of emotions. And I I pull up to the house and the house is, like, super dark, everybody's sleeping.

Gaby Alessi:
I'm like, okay. And you and again, movies or other people's stories, you expect to get home from the first date with your husband as, like, oh my god, everybody's waiting for you and they're, like, clapping for you in the way home, whatever. And I go upstairs and Lauren's like going to sleep and she's like, look, I'm really sorry. We could talk tomorrow. Like, I just I have something big in the morning. And I was like, okay, okay. And then I go to my room and I like text my sister Stephanie and she's sleeping. And I call my mom and everybody in my life that like I could just be a girl with, They were all sleeping.

Gaby Alessi:
And I just had to get in bed and I was like, okay, Lord. This is something that I have to work through. Mhmm. And there's things that after the first date, your first argument or when a struggle comes or a challenge comes where the two of you have to work it out, getting home and like being in bed after that night and you don't have people to process it with, it can be really difficult. So I think it's the mental battle of a relationship of is this somebody that I still see for my future? Is it worth still dating? What if I lose him? What if all of this is just too good to be true? And it's Like I kept telling Stephanie, I'm like, Steph, he's either my husband or he's a fraud. Like, that's that was like my my saying. I was like, that's how good this feels, but also I know that this could be over any minute. And that pressure can be really hard to work through, but I needed that.

Gaby Alessi:
I needed to be dependent or independent, and I needed to say, okay, Lord, I'm gonna lean on you. God, what do you think? Like, you wouldn't have brought me here had you not know that I can handle it, But also, you've you've kinda like, I had to remind myself about the truth that I knew about Christian, the truth that I know about the Lord. Like, there were things that you have to work through, but it is difficult when you're on your own dating. And this is something that I love dating older. Like, if I could go back, I would date I would start dating when I was 21. Like, seriously dating. I'd go on dates, like, when I was 18. Like, I think I think that's healthy.

Gaby Alessi:
But 21 changed so much for me. And dating at 24, and I bet, like, dating at 28 is probably even better, but dating at 24 was such a gift, I think, because it really did help me. I was a little bit more emotionally balanced.

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah.

Gaby Alessi:
Because getting home and having to process those emotions can be really difficult. Like, you're doing brand new things. You're you're feeling different things. You're thinking different things, and then there's a whole lot of fear.

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah.

Gaby Alessi:
And, that was something that I never I never expected that from a relationship. I thought when you date the one, everything just makes sense.

Richelle Alessi:
That makes sense. Yeah.

Gaby Alessi:
There's no hard moments. There's no hard moments. Even the hard moments are not that hard. Like and I thought, like, it would all just fall into place, and it does, but it you still have to work towards it. Like, you're just working it out. It's not a struggle. Like, don't see it as an issue. You're just working it out.

Gaby Alessi:
Yeah. Because I still felt the peace. If I didn't feel the peace, then it would be different. Then it were a different story. I probably wouldn't be in this booth right now. That's true.

Richelle Alessi:
But, you know, when Chris and I were dating, we have a a similar story, but, at the time, we're dating, and, Chris wanted to hang out with me every night. And I I did too. Yeah. I really did. But at the time, my sister needed me for something, so I, like, canceled on him, like, two nights in a row. Mhmm. And, on the second night, he's like, I'm driving over your house.

Gaby Alessi:
And like Something's wrong.

Richelle Alessi:
Something's wrong. I'm like, oh, okay. Yeah. You can come over. It's fine. And it's because he really thought that I didn't wanna be with him Mhmm. And that I did not know how to end it. Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
Because for him, the his role, what the pressure of his Yeah. Of his life and everything, he thought that I was feeling pressure

Gaby Alessi:
Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
And that I didn't wanna be with him. Mhmm. And it took a fight Yeah. For us to to realize that, no, we are in this. Yeah. And that moment, it wasn't super, like, easy Yeah. But it was necessary. Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
And it was that expectation where you think that everything's gonna be be perfect. No. You're gonna hang out every day. You're gonna think the same.

Gaby Alessi:
No. And

Richelle Alessi:
then some moments happen and things happen and you're like, no. I I still wanna be with you. It's just now let's communicate. Yeah. And you learn the other person and you learn each other. And I love that about dating and engagement seasons. Yeah. Because I actually think even during engagement, and I would love to hear some some about it about you and Christian, but your differences really start to show.

Richelle Alessi:
Yes. And but in a really great way. Yes. Because it's the first time you're planning a big event that cost a lot of money Yeah. And you're trying to please a lot of different family members

Gaby Alessi:
Oh my god.

Richelle Alessi:
And you're trying to involve families, and the pressure really brings out your personalities and the things that you think. Yeah. But I feel like in those moments, even though we had little fights Mhmm. And we had to see, okay, how can we help each other? How can you help me? How can I help you? It really made us stronger. Yes. And you think, especially with social media Yes. You see these beautiful weddings Yeah. And you're like they're like movies.

Richelle Alessi:
Yes. And you're like, how did you how did you do that? But that's like twenty minutes or even a couple of photos Exactly. To show the beautifulness of a really hard eight months. Exactly. And And

Gaby Alessi:
a lot of money.

Richelle Alessi:
And a lot of money. And you're like, I for me, I had never ever spent that much money in my life. And then I'm seeing how what everything costs and, like, reality hit me. Yes. Oh. Oh my god. And even signing contracts, and that can put pressure on a couple, but I think it's it's good pressure. Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
Because you truly you work together. Yes. And nobody can figure it out for you No. But you too. But the beautiful reward is at the end, you can say we did it together. Exactly. And then you get the beautiful gift of marriage. Exactly.

Richelle Alessi:
So what are some things that you and Christian have noticed? And now that you're engaged, that you've worked through some of the things that you didn't expect Yeah. That have come out through this season of engagement?

Gaby Alessi:
Well, I think I've learned that I'm a lot pettier than I thought I was and very immature. And I remember my mom told me a story that she goes, boyfriends will put up with pettiness and drama Mhmm. And boyfriends will, if you don't answer him, will show up at your house. And boyfriends, if they haven't heard from you, will go above and beyond to make sure you're okay. She goes, fiancees and husbands won't. Wow. And she's like, there's a certain point where the man goes, I can't play into this. I'm not just going to drop everything just because you got offended at one thing that I did or you got hurt.

Gaby Alessi:
That's something that I'm learning, and I'm really having to do a better job of, like, not just because it it it takes me off and it makes me mad. There's probably something else that's making me mad, but I'm just targeting him and I'm taking it out on him. And so I remember there was, like, a time where it's just stupid stuff, man. It's like, I don't know. I wanted something and I was being super petty and I'm and in my mind, I'm like, if I want something, that should burden him and he should do it for me. That's how I think. Yeah. And it's terrible and I'm really working on it.

Gaby Alessi:
But he's what I wanted, he couldn't do. He's like, I can't I can't right now I'm working. I can't go and do this thing, and I'm like, but if and then I'm I'm thinking of what Instagram has created. If he wanted to, he would. And it's a great piece of advice, but it also can hurt you when you are settled down with somebody and you you're committed to them. Because in your mind, you're like, but if he wanted to, he would go and get me a cup of coffee because I'm tired. Like, you really do think that way. And you have to sit back and he's like and he told me, he's like, look.

Gaby Alessi:
I can't. Like, at a certain point, he didn't say this, but at a certain point, I have to grow up. And I have to I can't now that I have this fiance, this guy that I wanna be with, he's gonna just cater to all of my needs. Yeah. That is not what being with someone is, and, it's worked out a lot of my pettiness. So that's one of the things between he and I that I think I'm working on, and I never knew. Like, that's a reality that I did not know that I had. Like, that's something that I'm like, wow.

Gaby Alessi:
I'm very dependent and very petty, and I need to work on that. Like, I'm holding him to a standard that he nobody is at that standard. Nobody needs to be held there. So that's something. And then also the reality of finances. Like that, I remember we had bought the ring already. He had bought it, and we were pretty open about our our ring process. Like, I had new we we went and got the ring together.

Gaby Alessi:
We've shopped for it. It was awesome. We bought it essentially together. So I had known when it was gonna happen. I knew it was gonna happen around, like, the springtime. I just didn't know the exact day. So in January, we sat down at my house and we're like, okay. Like, I knew we were getting engaged, so we decided let's look at our finances now because we were starting to house shop already.

Gaby Alessi:
And we're like, let's look at our finances. Let's lay everything out, and let's make a budget for the two

Richelle Alessi:
of us, and then we

Gaby Alessi:
can see what we can afford in house. And so we're on the patio and we're laying it out. And look, we are both we've we're trying everything new in marriage, and God bless us. We're gonna figure out I know God got other people through, so he'll he's gonna have to get us through. So we're making this budget, and neither of us really budget on our own. And we're making, like, what we can afford and what we're gonna have to pay off, and we're doing all of this. And, basically, by the end of it, we looked at each other and we're like, we are screwed. Like, why are we doing this? And I I could tell he's like, I'm about to propose to this girl, and these are our fight.

Gaby Alessi:
Like, this is where we're at. And it was so Oh my god. Stressful. And, like, we both went to bed that night, like, freaked out. Like, should we even do this? Should we wait another year? All of these things. And it was just it was hard, and then we had to go to counsel. We talked to our parents about it. Our parents kinda gave us a reality.

Gaby Alessi:
But, yeah, we we thought, and you think you're in a better place, and you think things aren't as expensive. And it's not the reality. They are. They're Miami's very expensive and but I think also the both of us realize, like, we did not pick the timeline. At the end of the day, like Yeah. The Lord really moved in a way where we can get engaged in this season. Yeah. And that's like a whole another story in itself, but, like, we had our own timeline in mind that we felt honored our family, honored our season.

Gaby Alessi:
And my dad and my family was like, look, if y'all wanna get married, get married sooner. Mhmm. So we both felt like if we did not this was out of our control in a way. Like, we loved it. We wanted to. We control the situation, of course. But the Lord made a way for us to get engaged earlier. If he allowed that to happen with the blessing of everybody and people were excited about it and there was just confirmation after confirmation, we had the money to get the ring and we had the money to if everything lined up, God's gonna figure out the home.

Gaby Alessi:
God's gonna figure out where we're gonna live, the finances to do that. So the reality is it is hard. Yeah. But we're gonna have to learn how to depend on the Lord in this season like never before and depend on one another and to get through it together. And I think that's where it was difficult and, like, he, as a guy should, got really stressed out.

Richelle Alessi:
Yeah.

Gaby Alessi:
And you just start thinking all of these things. Can we do it? What are we supposed to like, just all of these these thoughts of, like, we're gonna we're gonna fall apart. Like, we're not gonna be able to do this. But it led us to a place of, okay. We can do it together. There's gonna be sacrifices that we have to make. Like, I probably won't be able to get my nails done as much as I used to. My hair will that's why I went back to my natural colored hair because I can't get my hair done, but it's worth it in the end.

Gaby Alessi:
Yeah. And God will provide everything that we need. You know, when, Chris and

Richelle Alessi:
I did the same thing, one day, we, we were already engaged, and we sat down and we were going over finances. Well, for me, that was so hard because I had a job. I didn't make as much as him, really. And it was for me, it was I was just embarrassed to share. Yeah. Like, look. I work hard. Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
I was going to school. I was working. It's not like I wasn't working. But it was scary to bring that together. And sometimes finances could be the most vulnerable thing Yeah. That you talk about. And it could be it could put a big stressor. But can I say that during the engagement season, I saw the hand of God in provision Wow? The most than ever before.

Richelle Alessi:
Wow. And the way the Lord provided Yeah. It was like, oh, now I understand what it means to God to be my provider.

Gaby Alessi:
Yes.

Richelle Alessi:
Because that was personal.

Gaby Alessi:
Yes.

Richelle Alessi:
Now the provision, even even though it was still coming through people Yep. Because God will use people to bless you, it was done to you though specifically. Exactly. It was not now just coming through your parents. And it was it was not just blessing your your parents blessing you Exactly. Even though that's still gonna happen because your parents are gonna bless you, but it was more personal. Exactly. And you're gonna see now when you step you step to that new season and it's you too, it's great because now you see God's faithfulness for you and Christian Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
And your family. And the little things that you desire, the little things that he desires Yep. That align together

Gaby Alessi:
Mhmm.

Richelle Alessi:
That will make your family your home, the home that you will live in the next two to three years

Gaby Alessi:
Yep.

Richelle Alessi:
The things that you will have in that home. And everything that comes with that, the Lord provides in such a beautiful way, and he's never late. It always comes at the right time. And you you end up that seizing me, like, I now even got to experience a new character of God. Yeah. And and his ways become so more real to you. Yeah. Because you're stepping in a season where you are having to trust him even more than before.

Richelle Alessi:
Well, it's that thing that

Gaby Alessi:
I think, one of the pastors that came in, he said it a while ago. He said, you know, I I don't I don't see it as like, oh, you have to trust your spouse and trust God. He's like, you need to love your spouse and you need to trust God. Yeah. And as a girl, I do need to submit. Like, the word says it. Like, we submit, I'll submit to him, but Christian is not even my provider. Like, I'm I'm processing that of, like, I need to trust him, obviously.

Gaby Alessi:
He needs to trust me, obviously. But my dependence and my trust is in the Lord Yeah. And it's going to it's through Christian. Right? Like, we'll do that together, but but I'm gonna love him and I'm gonna support Christian and I'm gonna be his biggest fan, his biggest advocate. Like, I am there for him, but I'm trusting God to get us through, and I'm trusting God to provide. And what's beautiful, Michelle, is God provides peace in this season. Like, we don't have a house yet, and we've got four months till the wedding, but there's just this peace on the both of us. Maybe Christian doesn't have peace.

Gaby Alessi:
I have peace. I'm like, God's gonna gonna provide that. And I think that's what's beautiful is God brings two people together that can depend on one another, but also they can complement each other. Yeah. Where Christian might be stressed out, but I'll bring the peace. Yeah. And then in another season, it'll be vice versa where he brings the peace, but I bring the stress. Yeah.

Gaby Alessi:
But that's where we can work together. And you're doing it together.

Richelle Alessi:
You're doing

Chris Alessi:
it together.

Richelle Alessi:
That's the best thing about marriage. Yeah. You truly are never alone. No. You are a team. And from now on, everything that you conquer is together.

Gaby Alessi:
Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
Planning a wedding will be together. Taking care of your home will be together. Having a baby will be together. Everything forever is you two. It's It's true. You're never alone. And as long as you choose to serve each other

Gaby Alessi:
Yep.

Richelle Alessi:
And always think the best of each other even in the hard moments Yeah. To choose to say, I'm gonna think the best of you. I'm gonna see the situation and see it. How can I serve you? Yep. And you give to each other. You can really conquer anything. Amen. So listen.

Richelle Alessi:
Thank you for having this conversation. I love it. I am so happy that I got to have this conversation I know. This is awesome. Was awesome. And we truly are believing the best for you and Christian and that the Lord is going to provide everything. We're we're we have been celebrating you and we're ready to celebrate you. And I know our church and our family are so excited to celebrate you both because you as individuals

Gaby Alessi:
Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
Have been such a blessing to many people. Thank you. And now God has brought you together to bless many more people. Yeah. And so we're thankful that Christian is gonna be part of the family. Christian will love you.

Gaby Alessi:
Marina loves Christian. Marino is upset. The kids love Christian.

Richelle Alessi:
So funny thing before we end. Right? To see for you guys to see how sweet Christian is, but when Marino was less than a year old, he was still months, Christian was doing a internship here at the church. At the church. And so he would be here, like, twice a week. And he Christian would always go and said, I will put my twenty minutes in with Marina. Yes. And he would go pick up Marina from the nursery and he would spend twenty, thirty minutes with him. He would put him to sleep.

Richelle Alessi:
Marina loved going to sleep with him.

Gaby Alessi:
Also, because Christian's so tall that I think there's just, like, this calming skin.

Richelle Alessi:
And Marino's always been so big.

Gaby Alessi:
Yes. And he was

Richelle Alessi:
like, oh, finally. Somebody, like, can handle my my strength. My

Gaby Alessi:
strength. Yeah.

Richelle Alessi:
But it was so sweet. And till this day, Marino just loves him. And the other day, we're having dinner. And I looked at Christian, and I said, it's so sweet that forever there's not gonna be a day when Marino doesn't remember you.

Gaby Alessi:
It's so true.

Richelle Alessi:
Because you came into our life so early on.

Gaby Alessi:
So true.

Richelle Alessi:
And it's gonna be great to see our families grow together.

Gaby Alessi:
And I can't wait to see all of them. Marino, Gianna, Matthew, even Christian's, niece, Alex, they're all gonna be a part of the wedding. So it'll be really

Richelle Alessi:
fun to be a blast. But thank you for doing this.

Gaby Alessi:
And I think this is great that we could talk about relationships because Yeah. It is difficult, especially if you are coming from date and I'd love to continue a conversation on this Yeah. But, like, if you're listening and you you're dating or you're wanting to date or you're dating and you wanna get engaged, it can be difficult. It's not all roses. It's not just all, oh my god. I felt peace from the beginning. There's peace, but there's a lot of uncomfortability Yeah. And nerves in that season.

Gaby Alessi:
But you can get through it if it's the right person. Yep. And also if you're both submitted to the Lord and you do it the right way.

Richelle Alessi:
I love it. That means that we're gonna have another episode on this then. We need to. Because we need to have a follow-up.

Gaby Alessi:
There's a lot more. You didn't answer a lot of questions. There's a lot There's a

Richelle Alessi:
lot more.

Gaby Alessi:
That we can get into I love it. About dating and all that.

Richelle Alessi:
Alright, guys. Well, thank you so much for joining us on another episode. And let us know if you wanna continue this conversation. We would love to have it. Maybe we can bring one

Gaby Alessi:
of your sisters. Yes.

Richelle Alessi:
And you guys can give that point of view. But thank you so much for joining us, and we'll see you next week.

Chris Alessi:
You've just enjoyed another episode of the family business podcast with the Alessis, and we can't thank you enough for being a part of our podience today. Now that you've learned more about us, here's how you can join in in the family business. First, make sure you're following our podcast right now and download this episode so you can hear it at any time. Second, think of someone you know that might need or enjoy this episode and share it with them. You'll be helping them and helping us to spread the word about the family business. Third, go to alesseefamilybusiness.com and tap the ask the a lessee's button. This is really cool. You could use it to record a voicemail comment or question, and we can add your voice to our conversations.

Chris Alessi:
Finally, while you're on our page, tap the reviews tab and you'll see a link to leave a review on Apple Podcasts. We love reading your reviews, and we might even share them on the show. Thanks again for joining us and we'll see you next time at the Family Business with

Gaby Alessi:
the

Chris Alessi:
Alessis because family is everybody's business.