Should Christians Avoid Scary Movies? How to Decide What Your Family Watches

Mary Alessi:
You're not of the mindset. I don't think that you believe a demon can jump through the TV and. And get in our spirit. Right. Do you believe that? I don't think you believe that. Do you believe that?

Mary Alessi:
We have to have sound effects right now to this silence.

Steve Alessi:
Oh, brother.

Mary Alessi:
Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Family Business with the Aless. Steve Alessi and my wife Mary. Alessi told me I needed to really act excited about this episode today. Well, hey, we're in season eight. Got over 200 episodes that we're able to record and share with our audience. Over a million views on YouTube. Very excited about that. So we want to encourage you to keep following and subscribing and send this epidode to at least two friends of yours, especially as we talk about things holiday and fun and what you're doing right now.

Mary Alessi:
So I do want to say I want to. I want to celebrate a little bit here.

Steve Alessi:
Okay.

Mary Alessi:
Turn 50. 65.

Steve Alessi:
Yeah. You tried to sneak in that 50 part.

Mary Alessi:
Turn 65. And I woke up on that birthday with this thought in mind. I shared it with you, but it's pretty cool. I'm glad to be here. And it was the first time in my life I can relate to this phrase, The Lord is my shepherd, I.

Steve Alessi:
Shall not want because you don't want for anything.

Mary Alessi:
I have everything.

Steve Alessi:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi:
I feel so good about life.

Steve Alessi:
That's so good.

Mary Alessi:
All the blessings and goodness that have come my way. The Almighty, from my wife and my kids and my friends and my church, my work. I'm just really blessed. Yeah. There's more to accomplish.

Steve Alessi:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi:
But I feel really good about life at this point, so thanks for helping make that happen.

Steve Alessi:
Baby, I love you. You are young, 65, and you have a lot of vision and a lot of purpose and a lot of drive. It's amazing. I keep thinking to myself, when's he going to get old? When's he going to slow down? And you haven't yet. And. No, it really is inspiring because I'm so much younger.

Steve Alessi:
And I. I still have, you know, a long way to go to catch up to you.

Mary Alessi:
Okay, thank you.

Steve Alessi:
So I'm just saying.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
I'm still in the fives.

Mary Alessi:
You are.

Steve Alessi:
That is so weird to say.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah, you are. I never thought you'd be there. I know you are. I still look at you. In your 40s.

Steve Alessi:
Yeah, in my 40s, yeah. I can't believe you can't go back to, like, 35. You'd say 40s.

Mary Alessi:
Well, 40s were very fun. I remember 40s. Remember? I don't.

Steve Alessi:
You don't remember?

Mary Alessi:
Real challenging decade. Not tough. I mean, not. Not easy. Very tough.

Steve Alessi:
No. And, you know, we've been married 38 years. Yeah. Going on. We're going to hit that big four. Oh, I've got plans for that.

Mary Alessi:
And by the way, you did a great job with my 65th birthday.

Steve Alessi:
That was fun.

Mary Alessi:
Even though we were out and about.

Steve Alessi:
We surprised you.

Mary Alessi:
You did. It was very nice.

Steve Alessi:
We surprised you.

Mary Alessi:
I was happy. So I shall not want.

Steve Alessi:
I shall not want. You will not want.

Mary Alessi:
Let's get into something. Yeah, that's right. Let's get into something.

Steve Alessi:
Okay.

Mary Alessi:
Trying to always stay relevant with our conversation here in the podcast booth. Wanting to make sure that you're in our family. The whole podcast is about our family doing work together. Not just doing life together, but doing work together.

Steve Alessi:
Our principles.

Mary Alessi:
Right. So we're a second generation, you and I. Our kids are third generation and the batons being passed. And it's really cool. And we see the fourth generation on the horizon. Very sweet. But here's the deal. We spend time together as a family around the holidays.

Mary Alessi:
We just did it. And one of the things we like to do is binge programs on television. Right.

Steve Alessi:
So I think everybody's doing that.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah. That's fun, right?

Steve Alessi:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi:
I was asking a couple young women that are in their 30s, I asked them if they saw a certain commercial. It shows you how people are streaming these days.

Steve Alessi:
Yes.

Mary Alessi:
And they said, pastor, we don't know when was the last time we saw a commercial.

Steve Alessi:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi:
They don't watch regular television. They're just on to streaming platforms all the time.

Steve Alessi:
And they pay the upcharge. They don't see the ads. We're cheap.

Mary Alessi:
Okay. We cool.

Steve Alessi:
We get the ads.

Mary Alessi:
But they are single, so I would think they'd be watching the Hallmark Channel.

Steve Alessi:
You think?

Mary Alessi:
Yeah, yeah. You know those amazing stories. Okay. That my 70 year old buddy Manny loves to watch the. Yeah, very interesting. Okay. So here's the question, though. Why don't you ask it? Because this is your idea and I think it's a good conversation.

Steve Alessi:
It's definitely a conversation that we've had all our marriage. Because you don't like scary stuff. I don't like horror scary. I don't mind if something's a little bit more scary. But the question is always asked, should Christians. Should kids. At what point are scary things.

Steve Alessi:
Allowed either in your home or should you watch them? What should you let in your eye gate? What video should you be watching? Is this demonic. Is that demonic? Is horror. All demonic? Is being scared just a fun thing or does it affect your soul? And I know there's so many different opinions on that in the Christian world. I mean, there's people that aren't Christians that don't like to watch scary stuff because it affects them.

Mary Alessi:
So this is the result of Stranger Things.

Steve Alessi:
Stranger Things.

Mary Alessi:
I'm not a fan. No, you are a fan with your girls.

Steve Alessi:
Yes, I am.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah. And I didn't like it because it seems to have this, you know, this portal that's opened up for the demonic and.

Steve Alessi:
Right.

Mary Alessi:
And I don't go for that.

Steve Alessi:
But you. But let's clarify what you mean by that. You don't like to watch it. You're not of the mindset. I don't think that you believe a demon can jump through the TV and get in our spirit. Right. Do you believe that? I don't think you believe that. Do you believe that?

Mary Alessi:
We have to have sound effects right now to the silence.

Steve Alessi:
Oh, brother.

Mary Alessi:
I. I think if you're not covered, well, you're exposed.

Steve Alessi:
Right.

Mary Alessi:
Okay. I think you open yourself up to things. You know, Bible tells us, don't open the door.

Mary Alessi:
To the enemy. And I think you. There could be an oppressive environment.

Mary Alessi:
So, yeah, if you're not covered, you're in trouble.

Steve Alessi:
Okay.

Mary Alessi:
So.

Steve Alessi:
All right. So let's put stranger things on the table for a minute. Movies like the Exorcist.

Mary Alessi:
Never watched.

Steve Alessi:
Never did I. I didn't either. I don't like stuff like that.

Mary Alessi:
Nope.

Steve Alessi:
When Harry Potter came out, it was all about wizardry. We didn't let our kids watch it when they were little. There was such a hoopla in the Christian world about Harry Potter being so bad for our kids, remember? So when they were little, they did not watch it. We didn't let it in our home. And when they became teenagers, they were teenagers watching Harry Potter as a little boy. And the storyline really had a lot of value because the truth was, it's basically a mirror image, is kind of. I don't know what the word would be a liturgy. I don't know.

Steve Alessi:
Solange may know. She's the novelist.

Steve Alessi:
Of Christ and the enemy and the battle against good versus evil and how the enemy tries to work against you. Although told through the lens of wizardry, I get that. And I know that is a stretch for us as Christians because we go, well, at the end of the day, it's just good versus evil. It isn't Christ versus the enemy or God versus the devil. It's A story that a person who is not a Christian wrote. Not tying that into some spiritual, Christian backed storyline.

Mary Alessi:
Okay, so let me throw this at you.

Steve Alessi:
But my point was it had tremendous value within that subject.

Mary Alessi:
Okay, so I didn't like Wicked and I don't like Wicked too. Because of some wizardry. Wizardry.

Steve Alessi:
Well, they made Wicked wicked. Yeah, they, they messed up the whole thing. My Ariana Grande and Cynthia reveal. In my opinion, they've absolutely made it wicked.

Mary Alessi:
They have taken, they've made it demonic. That is dark and normalized.

Steve Alessi:
It took a simple story.

Mary Alessi:
I can't help but see the, the work or you know, the, the hand of darkness in this to try to get evil to be accepted as normal. And so that's where I, to me, I'm watching and streaming programs to entertain me.

Steve Alessi:
I know, right?

Mary Alessi:
And I don't, I'm not entertained by that stuff. And I don't understand how a person, even in our family, there are some that like it. One in particular. No, not you. I'm talking about Lauren. She for some reason enjoys.

Steve Alessi:
We do love. We Wicked. So let's just hold on a second because you just stop right there, mister. Okay. No, we loved Wicked because when they were little girls. The storyline is from the wizard of Oz and it's what you see is not what you get. It's behind the curtain of Oz. He's not the big scary monster that we think he is.

Steve Alessi:
And the Wicked Witch of the west, the green girl isn't really a, a bad witch. She's not really bad. She's just misunderstood.

Mary Alessi:
She's a good witch.

Steve Alessi:
The storyline is. She's misunderstood from the perspective of Dorothy and of course it becomes a love story. So it's not. It has an incredible theme. If you watched it on Broadway, if you went to Broadway and watched it, it's about the music, it's about the casting. It's about the storyline that was written years and years and years ago. What is happening now with the movie is not at all. It's a distorted view because of what's happening between the actual actors who are on the show.

Steve Alessi:
It's not the storyline. They've perverted the whole concept around Wicked because for some reason they all look anorexic. It's bizarre. Something's off, something's really, really weird. So is that the storyline, is that now all of Wicked is bad? If you know the storyline, it's not even as much about witches. It does have that element to it, but it's more of a fantasy land. It's from the story of Dorothy. But now what these actors have done is they brought their own personal perversion, binary, transgender, sick way of doing life.

Steve Alessi:
And they brought that into this, this whole market of wicked. And it has so twisted and perverted the storyline. I don't want to see the second one only because I don't want to see these, quite frankly. I don't want to see Cynthia Erivo again on, on, on the screen. Plus then she went and did Jesus Christ Superstar. They used a female to play Christ. There's something demonic about her now. To me, if you paint everything with the same brush, oh, it's all demonic.

Steve Alessi:
Harry Potter's demonic. If there's anything that you see spells on, it's coming through the screen. I think there's an extreme there. Just like.

Steve Alessi:
When you look at the Exorcist, there's an extreme because there's a priest casting out demons. What we would say as Christians, that's a good thing. But do we need to see that? What does that do? Well, it instills fear in us. And if more fear is stirred up, then you shouldn't watch it because fear isn't good for anybody. So I do think you should have limits. And we know as we become teenagers and we become young adults and we become older man, that that's affecting me too much. I'm not watching that anymore. And that could be scary.

Steve Alessi:
That could be, quite frankly watching gay scenes on television because we're being all that's being forced on us. So going back to Stranger Things for a minute, Jump in anytime. The storyline about that again was so incredible because these group of kids who decide they're not afraid, they're gonna take on. It's not just a demonic realm, it's a man made demonic realm.

Mary Alessi:
Okay?

Steve Alessi:
It's not even real. It's just a man made bad guy. But they're not going to be afraid and they're going to take their town back. So to me, that isn't demonic. It's good overcoming evil and not being afraid. Now though, they've got a cast of characters and there's one in particular that they're tying this all into his coming out. And that's where you start going now wait a minute. So he's, he's becoming who he is always was, which was gay, which is now giving him superpowers to fight off evil.

Steve Alessi:
And that's where the storyline starts to go. Okay, wait a minute. I as an adult can differentiate that, but I don't want my kids watching this just Like, I wouldn't want them to watch something too demonic or I wouldn't want them to watch something too.

Steve Alessi:
LGTBQ promoting. Yeah, I would. I would say, you know, that's not for you right now. Maybe in the future when you're a little older, but right now that's not for you. Yeah, that's my take.

Mary Alessi:
Right. Well, that demonic is out there. We see it leading up to, you know, October 31st, everything. All these movies that are coming up that are like. I mean, it's opening like a portal of hell.

Steve Alessi:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi:
It's scary stuff. And I don't even know how these actors are able to put themselves in that kind of dark environment, except they're used to that. So I don't want. I don't think it's good for a person and for a family to open their home to that kind of entertainment, that it's just not entertaining enough. I'm afraid it just opens you up, normalizing that darkness, and then you can find yourself being influenced by that. And I'm glad you brought up the other. Even with the LGBTQ community and how that is more and more being normalized, and you're watching a movie sometimes and you're like, you're falling for a character only to learn that they're a transgender. So it could be a guy that's now looking like a girl.

Mary Alessi:
He's being, you know, playing a girl, and it's like, wow, that is real confusing.

Steve Alessi:
That's gonna. That's the future. More and more and more.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah. And that's Hollywood. That. That's the entertainment industry.

Steve Alessi:
So I do think, though I'm not sure why.

Mary Alessi:
Well, because not. We don't all have those. The. The LGBTQ community in our lives. It's like, that's their community.

Steve Alessi:
Right.

Mary Alessi:
So that's good for them. It's like Christian films. People don't like to watch Christian films that are not Christian. They're like, that's just a community for Christians. And you're hoping that it, you know, you almost dumb it down from its Christian value so that the non Christian would pay attention to it. But they're not. They're not into it. But.

Mary Alessi:
So why wouldn't we do the same with the LGBTQ community instead of opening that up in our home?

Steve Alessi:
I think what it. For me, what it goes down to the core of it all, is you got to know what you believe. You got to know what your standards are. You got to know where the line is.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
And what you're not going to take in what you're not going to ingest into your spirit. So if there's a question about it, I think for every Christian, you need to get those questions answered. And rather than just being religious and it's all bad, demons are going to jump out of the thing. It's whatever. I don't believe any of that because I don't think the enemy has any authority or power over us as Christians at all. He has no power that we don't give him. We can give him power and he has access. But I don't believe watching something that is scary gives him access to my soul.

Steve Alessi:
However, I do think over time, if I don't analyze that and really look at it from the perspective of is that good for me? Whether it is scary, anything that goes against my godly principles, what is that doing to me? If it's not making me think from the perspective of how do I feel about this? What does the Bible say about it? That we don't, we don't agree with that. I'm not in agreement with that. Why would I let that entertain me?

Mary Alessi:
Right.

Steve Alessi:
The scary side, good versus evil. I think that that's a little bit different. I think that as long as I don't think children should be exposed to that period at all. I think adults that understand how to manage that and it's an entertaining storyline where good overcomes evil.

Steve Alessi:
That's up for the viewer, that's up for the believer, the Christian, to make that decision. But I do think we don't want to make a religion out of what we should watch and what we shouldn't watch. But I think as believers and out of Christians, we should all take personal responsibility to protect our spirits. And it starts with protecting your mind, protecting what you see, what you hear. Because even though we think I would never be influenced by that, somehow we are being desensitized. We're still human.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
And if desensit. Desensitization works on anybody, it's still going to work on us.

Steve Alessi:
That's why we have to say like, I won't step. I'm not going to go into a club as a Christian and party and then say, I'm still a Christian. Because why I'm not going to be in that environment. That's not good for me. It's the same with what we let through that television tube in our home.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
We have to be careful.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah. Well, I don't. As a man, I don't, don't.

Mary Alessi:
I. I don't stomach seeing two men.

Steve Alessi:
No.

Mary Alessi:
Making out.

Steve Alessi:
Or two women. Yeah. None of it.

Mary Alessi:
No, I can't.

Steve Alessi:
No.

Mary Alessi:
You know, I was going to say something, but I won't joke, but it was bad timing.

Steve Alessi:
It's not funny.

Mary Alessi:
I. It's like if I'm scrolling on my feed, I will see some hunting pages that I follow, and what they'll do is they'll blur out the image and it'll tell you, you know, if you want to see the image, you know, hit the button and hit your screen and you can see the image because they. They know that there's certain people that if they're seeing the image of a dead animal, which is most likely what you're going to see because it's a hunting page, that you can't stomach that you. It doesn't go well with you, you know, so. Yeah, gross out. Oh, my God. You know, so they censor it. It.

Mary Alessi:
It almost needs to be the same thing, quite frankly, with that. I mean, if you. If a person can't stomach a dead animal, we're being asked to stomach two men making out on television. And it should be a normal television family program.

Steve Alessi:
Right.

Mary Alessi:
And. Okay, I got it. You want to have two gay characters. Don't do that.

Steve Alessi:
But give us a disclaimer.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah, that. Why? Because it's normal to you. It's not normal to everybody. That. So there are things that you should be very sensitive about streaming.

Steve Alessi:
Absolutely.

Mary Alessi:
And that's why I love being in the podcast booth and being able to say things here that we cannot say on Sunday.

Steve Alessi:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi:
Because not everybody gets that.

Steve Alessi:
No.

Mary Alessi:
You know, the having to be so careful with what you say, you know, that doesn't apply. This is our podcast. This is what our family embraces. Mary.

Steve Alessi:
Right.

Mary Alessi:
And there are things that we just know as a family. We're not gonna stream.

Steve Alessi:
No.

Mary Alessi:
Around the holidays when we get together.

Steve Alessi:
Well, that's the thing. We're even back to Stranger Things, which again, I love the storyline. I don't like as much what's happening this season with that particular character, but the storyline in and of itself is fabulous. It's just. It's phenomenal. Yes. It's got some very scary scenes because the man made monster is very scary, but he's still a man. So from in my mind, I think to myself, he's not a spiritual being.

Steve Alessi:
He's man made. He didn't come from hell.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
So it's not supernatural. It's all man made, which means he can be defeated. And as Christians, we know what it's like to take on the Enemy. The enemy's been defeated. Now, some people would say, that's a stretch. Stop trying to make it a spiritual thing. It is not. It is not a Christian storyline, whatever.

Steve Alessi:
And I get that. And I think that all of us have to.

Steve Alessi:
Process it from this perspective.

Steve Alessi:
If it troubles you, if it bothers your spirit, if it. Don't watch it, turn it off. But I also think that there are some. As Christians, there's some zero tolerance, and I do think watching homosexual scenes is one of them. We should make a stand, make a statement by saying if they could see who their viewers were and find out that all the Christians turned it off, they would realize that there are millions and millions of people who don't want to see gay scenes, will not watch gay scenes, don't want to be desensitized by it.

Mary Alessi:
But that's why a lot of people we know have canceled Netflix.

Steve Alessi:
A lot of people, because they're just.

Mary Alessi:
Not happy with the stuff that they're seeing.

Steve Alessi:
Well, I heard, and I don't know if this is a fact, but even the New Zootopia show. Am I right about this? The New Zootopia has a couple of innuendos with gay characters. So now it's not enough that we're watching some show that we're excited to see. It's. It's all about crime investigation. And you see two men or two women and they take it there and you're going, well, I can't watch this anymore. I'm not watching this anymore. But they're now going after.

Steve Alessi:
There is an agenda to go after our children.

Mary Alessi:
That's been. That's been happening now, I would say I don't want to spiritualize all of this alone, but even if I wasn't a Christian, I don't think I can stomach the stuff that's out there with the scary. I'm just not. I don't want to watch.

Steve Alessi:
Never like that.

Mary Alessi:
Never, never scary stuff. Can't. Can't do it, I think. Is Chris like that? Our son?

Steve Alessi:
Oh, he won't watch anything scary now. He likes Stranger Things because it's so brilliantly written and the way that the other two series are scenes. Well, actually, the three seasons, this is four.

Mary Alessi:
I think it's five.

Steve Alessi:
Are we on five? We're on five. How those seasons have gone. The storyline has been great. Set in the 80s. It's just been phenomenal, very mysterious. And it wasn't until towards the end that more of the scary gore, the Demogorgons start coming out. And, you know, but they're defeatable.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah. Well, the reason I liked it at the beginning is because that looked like me, right? The set, the 80s set, the shorts.

Steve Alessi:
We told our kids, we're like, they nailed the 80s. They nailed the 80s. It looks exactly like it did when we went to school. Riding our bikes everywhere, all our friends out all afternoon. You just had to be back before dark. So that was the appeal.

Steve Alessi:
And again, to me, the part that's making me say, come on, guys, what are we doing? Is the. I think it's a character assassination, personally, of one of the main characters to say that his superpower is now because he's coming out of the closet to be himself. And that I'm just like, why? Why, why, why? We went to school in the 80s. We were there. That did not happen.

Steve Alessi:
That did not happen. That was not a true fact of what was happening in the 80s.

Mary Alessi:
Now, if I was homosexual, I would be pretty upset with some programming because it seems like whoever the whack job is in the program, they make the.

Steve Alessi:
Gay person is the gay person.

Mary Alessi:
What's that about?

Steve Alessi:
It's very strange. I don't know if that's the way that they're trying to come in so that we justify it.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah, Every serial killer has some kind of weird past or weird homosexual encounter or something.

Steve Alessi:
Something weird. It is going more and more that way.

Mary Alessi:
That's weird.

Steve Alessi:
Well, we have to remember this started all these storylines, all these movies, all these shows, start with a writer, start with a person with a concept. And I often think when we're watching some things that we'll watch. And I go, somebody in their sick mind had to sit and say, that is a great concept for a show or for a movie or for something, but can I tell you. And we turn that stuff off. We don't watch that stuff. But if you watch any of the true crime stuff that's going on in real time today, the serial killing, the things that are happening in our world today, the world's catching up with the scary of Hollywood, Meaning a lot of the storylines that are written are not near the stretch to what we're actually seeing in real life today. And that's the scary part. So.

Steve Alessi:
What do we watch? What do we let in our homes? It's getting scarier and scarier in the world. And I don't mean to take it to that level of, you know, murders and all the. But there are some horrible things happening every day in our world, every day that you don't. The entertainment needs to go back to Being entertainment where it's a wholesome, healthy escape from reality. And it's not.

Mary Alessi:
No, it's not. And I like a good drama. I. I'm glad we can watch those. Those are cool. To keep me on my edge. Off. On the edge of my seat and off my phone.

Mary Alessi:
Comedy is really cool. We saw, oh, my gosh, Sebastian.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah. New. Sadly, he drops the F bomb way, way too much and uses some terrible language. Part of him is just hilarious. I mean, the good stuff, the old Italian stuff, him and his dad, he's kind of walked away from that, but that was always fun. And watching a good.

Mary Alessi:
Nate Bargazzi.

Steve Alessi:
He's clean. He doesn't say one. And he's a bigger Leanne Morgan. They're bigger. Well, they're newer, but as big as Sebastian Maniscalco. Neither one of them say a single cuss word. So there is something happening, I think, where you can go so far to the extreme and to the vulgar and to saying the F word so many times that it's not even that. Now the audiences are saying, this is refreshing.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
Because it's something new and different. And once they start creating comedy sketches that are all just cussing and filthy and dirty, the audience can only digest that so much. How much further are you going to go?

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
So it comes all the way back full circle to wholesome, clean family. And the masses can now come back because the masses, let's be honest with you, the masses. Parents with children, people that don't want to hear all that, need something to watch because we've left that stuff a long time ago.

Mary Alessi:
I don't know what happened to the ratings. Used to be P, then it'd be pg.

Steve Alessi:
Pg and censorship.

Mary Alessi:
Then it went to R, Things like that. I don't know what happened, because it seems like PG.

Steve Alessi:
17.

Mary Alessi:
13.

Steve Alessi:
There's 17. There's all.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah, it's. It. There's stuff you see in that that you wouldn't see in the past. So they've kind of gotten real liberal.

Steve Alessi:
Right.

Mary Alessi:
Lowered the bar a bit on all of that and cuss words and everything. I mean, cuss words, everybody. Customers today. Look at our president. He's dropping F bombs getting up there. I mean, good God. Yeah, but there. There's viewing.

Mary Alessi:
I know this. If Marino was in the room, we wouldn't be watching Stranger Things.

Steve Alessi:
No, no. We're terrified of what he would see.

Mary Alessi:
No. Gianna probably wouldn't sleep. You know, there's things you've got to protect your kids from. So you. You don't Want to be streaming that stuff, watching that stuff with your kids that are younger. They, they will be in, you know, there's going to be some impression made on them. Though we do find it interesting. I don't know what it is.

Mary Alessi:
Some people have a knack for that scary stuff. But, but you know, Munias have chosen to not celebrate Halloween.

Steve Alessi:
Right.

Mary Alessi:
So that was Chris Moynia, our son in law. He just was raised in an environment where his family just wouldn't do it. So that's cool. Steph was raised around celebrating it and so forth. But they've come to a real good understanding. And.

Mary Alessi:
So little Gianna knows she can't watch anything Halloween.

Steve Alessi:
Right.

Mary Alessi:
So when her dad's around and such. Yeah, she's not. But when she's with us, that's the.

Steve Alessi:
First thing she'll ask.

Mary Alessi:
Oh my gosh. She wants to watch Spooky Spider stuff.

Steve Alessi:
Right.

Mary Alessi:
That's. It's in her right to want to.

Steve Alessi:
Watch what she can't watch. Which is a great point to bring up when you're dealing with your kids about it. And we have to be, we've learned this with the four kids raising them all. We have to be very.

Steve Alessi:
Wise about how we communicate what we watch and what we don't watch. And she's not a kid that's easily scared, but Matthew might be, or their next kid might be a kid that's very easily scared. And you're not gonna watch that. Our four kids, when we focused on Halloween it was around the church, it was more harvest. We would dress up and we didn't really trick or treat in the neighborhood except at Maureen David's place cause they had other kids. We were not into spooky Halloween ever. No scary. No spooky Halloween.

Steve Alessi:
So we kept our kids away from spooky scary. But we also had a little bit of a different approach to just being absolute about something because we, we didn't want to stir up more rebellion.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
So, but a three year old, you gotta just draw the line and say we're not watching that, you're not watching that. And then explain to her as she gets a little bit bigger why, but that, you know, it's tricky, it's tricky these days to, to, to have to set boundaries in the area of what is right to watch because there's all that what about ism, you know, like, well, you can't watch this, but what about that? But, but you know, serial killers, that's horrible. They, they are, they say, I just read, of course, social Media is they, they say it's Instagram that people that watch to fall asleep like crime stories. If, correct me if I'm wrong, they're saying they have potentially like psychological issues. Yeah. So I stopped doing that since I heard that.

Mary Alessi:
Well, what's the egg and the, the chicken or the egg? Do you have psychological, psychological issues which causes you to want to watch those things or do you watch those things and then have psychological issues?

Steve Alessi:
I think that, but I, I see this is where it's a, it's a tough balance between. It's everybody's personal decision. If it affects you, great. If it doesn't, it doesn't. Or it's just wrong. You know, that's the part that gets tricky. We want to just say it's. If it's scary, if it's bad, if it's horror, if it's awful, if it's demonic, if it's ungodly.

Steve Alessi:
Okay, well then just turn your TV off completely or only watch faith based shows.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
And that's where it has to go back to self discipline. Check your spirit, have a standard in your home that demonic, scary things we choose just don't watch. And we don't want to stir up fear. There's no need. As we get older and the kids are teenagers, young adults, you teach them that, that there are things that will affect and impact their souls, their spirits. And it comes through your mind, it comes through your eye gate, it comes through your ear gate and you've got to. What's the old song? Be careful little ears, what you hear, Be careful little eyes, what you see. And that is, that's a fact.

Mary Alessi:
Yep.

Steve Alessi:
So every family has to take that into account.

Mary Alessi:
You know, the culture that you raise your family in is going to determine the kind of person they are and what culture they then will be comfortable in the rest of their lives. So I know with athletes, young guys that have a certain skill level, whether it's soccer, whether it's baseball, football.

Mary Alessi:
They'Re going to be put in a culture in an environment that is focused on that particular sport. So a kid raised that is a good soccer player, he's most likely going to be put in a club, soccer club or a team. It's going to start when they're young. If he likes it, he's going to be in that with that team. Then he's going to move to a club, he's going to then be in travel ball. He's going to have all the paraphernalia, his, his stars that influence him, his Role models are going to be soccer, pro soccer players. He's going to have the jersey, he's probably going to get something at Christmas and for his birthday. That's all around soccer, all that kind of stuff.

Mary Alessi:
And it becomes a culture that that kid then is going to be raised in. And as he gets older, if he stays in it, he likes it. That's going to be a culture that he's going to pass on, right to his kid. Right. So his sports, what he's going to watch on TV is going to be that. It's going to be games he's going to be watching, he's going to be dialed in social media, who the athlete is and what he's doing, what teams he on, who's he dating, where's he living, all that kind of stuff. It's a culture they get absorbed into.

Mary Alessi:
We happen to believe because of our Christian values that our culture is the church, the local church. And the culture of the local church is going to provide an education, it's going to provide relationships, it's going to provide role models, it's going to provide a community of people that share the same values. Just like the kid in soccer or football or baseball is shared values, their all of that's important to them. And that's good to know that in the culture of Christianity there are things that you should be directing your kids to so they should be connected with certain leaders in the religious world that share your values. Education, you got to make sure you're putting your kid in a good, healthy Christian educational environment. Whether that is a Christian school or whether it's homeschooling that share, share a Christian curriculum, that's important. I know that in itself, if you're in a Christian environment, most likely your kid's not going to be surrounded at Halloween by the spooky spider stuff that's out there in the demonic. Okay?

Mary Alessi:
Then you're, you're going to find that their programming is probably going to be geared towards something that's more faith based, Christian embracing so that those values then are shared with them. It really is the culture that you are creating that then is supported by your community. And that's why when we say, all right, there's certain things you're going to stream in your home or certain things you're not going to stream in your home. That's why we're saying that it's so important that it should support your community. Right. The culture that you want to embrace.

Steve Alessi:
Right.

Mary Alessi:
And as a parent, you determine that for your kids.

Steve Alessi:
Right.

Mary Alessi:
You don't just say to your kids growing up, I'm going to let them make their own choices growing up. No, you're the bumpers and the bowling alley, Ally. You're going to be there to keep them out of the gutter, right? And help them hit the pins and succeed.

Steve Alessi:
Well, I remember growing up and we did this with our kids and our parents did it with us. They really lived by that scripture verse. As for me, in my house, we will serve the Lord. And we would say to our kids, well, and we hear this, we've heard this all our lives. Well, they might do that at Joey's house. We're not doing that at our house. And our culture, in the home where we have our rules and our understanding and our principles and values, we explain why we have them. We sit our children down.

Steve Alessi:
We did this for many, many years. Why we don't participate in this activity or why we don't miss church on Sunday or why we don't just date at 12 or 13. You know, we have a value principles at our home that standards that we live by as Alessies, that we pray, we impart into them also with the support of the church culture, the school culture, being a Christian environment, all of that supports them on the wider spectrum to really support their faith and to understand that there is an enemy that is coming for our soul. And if he can't come in one door, he'll try to come in a crack in the window. And we do have to guard our hearts and we have to teach our children how to guard theirs. And.

Steve Alessi:
We could argue all day long what's innocent, what's not, what's not that big of a deal, and what is an absolute. No, no, what's innocent and what's demonic. I mean, we could sit here and argue that all day long, but the reality is, for every family that calls themselves a Christian, you do need to set standards for your home. What you allow in, what you don't allow in. And why would you support your family, your children with a Christian education, a Christian environment, at church, Christian friends, and then at home, you are opening the window and letting in something that is the absolute antithesis to that and letting it impact and affect their lives. And if it's something that's coming through the television screen, if it's something that is exactly against it is the opposite of what we believe as Christians. We have to have conviction about that. And we can't just be Christians at church, and we can't just be believers because we Put our kids in Christian school to protect them from what? And then at home, we're not having those same guardrails.

Steve Alessi:
So we definitely have to use wisdom as parents, as adults.

Steve Alessi:
After 18, what you watch, what you see, what you let in, that's between you and the Lord. And I think if we stopped and asked God more and more if this was edifying, if what I'm watching is edifying, we'd probably be surprised to hear what he had to say and where we would feel not condemnation, but conviction and turn that off. That is not for you. It's not healthy. It's not edifying. It doesn't lift you. And the truth is, it might not. Watching gay scenes isn't going to make me gay, but it's just going to make me mad.

Steve Alessi:
So why am I watching it? And why am I putting more dollars into the pockets of people who are on an indoctrination campaign?

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
To. To indoctrinate the next generation. I'm not going to give you more money to make that happen. So I think that's where we, as Christians, we really do need to just evaluate. Every family needs to evaluate that. And protect the four walls of your home.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah. Yeah. Well, we. We've said some controversial things here today, and maybe some, maybe of our listeners that happen to be in our church that are. Have family members that are gay, maybe they're having a hard time with some of our comments that we're making. And we hopefully are able to express that, you know, our desire is to embrace godly values.

Steve Alessi:
Right.

Mary Alessi:
And anything other than that, though, we will always embrace people. There is lifestyles that we will protect our own home from.

Steve Alessi:
Absolutely.

Mary Alessi:
Because they are more godly. We want to pursue those godly principles. So that's why as we talk about this subject, we will go into all programming. I mean, Mary, I'm out there with little Gianna up at the farm, and I have country music going on in my. On my cell phone. It's in my back pocket. And it's kind of cute because it just goes with the whole environment.

Steve Alessi:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi:
Okay. And though I enjoy country music, I'm not a country music, you know, I'm not going to only listen to it, but I got convicted because I'm listening to country music and she's there and I'm like, wow. I don't want her to think country music is the only thing her papa, who's a pastor.

Steve Alessi:
Right.

Mary Alessi:
Is listening to that. That's. That's his choice of music. So I pulled my phone out Change it to our Christmas at church and all of our Christian music that I want her to know. Her papa, pastor, lead of our family, he listens to Christian music, too. Not that I'm exclusive. Yeah. But I wanted her to sense that in our home, that's the normal music that she should be leaning and enjoying, loving.

Steve Alessi:
Right.

Mary Alessi:
Because we find that little girls, little.

Steve Alessi:
Kids, little boys, they're sponges.

Mary Alessi:
They are sponges. And their first instinct is not to be little angels.

Steve Alessi:
Right?

Mary Alessi:
No, they. They have a tendency to embrace or to play out that. That little bad side that is in them.

Steve Alessi:
Absolutely.

Mary Alessi:
That rebellion. And that's where, you know, mom and dad come along and have to fix that for them. But, yeah, we got to protect the home.

Steve Alessi:
And I think that's the key. What you said in the moment you got convicted, well, there was a reason you got convicted, because you've been playing country music forever. When you're out there, you love it. It's good, wholesome, fun music. And what made you get convicted, you stayed sensitive and open to the Holy Spirit to speak to you and obey it. In the moment when he goes, you turn that off. Why? Because he's seeing something you might not see, but he. He.

Steve Alessi:
He flagged you. Be aware of this. This could be. And I think all of us not being religious, but being sensitive to the voice of the Holy Spirit in those moments, hey, turn that off. That's not good. And then explaining why. Because here's one of the problems we have with our kids when we just say, you're not going to watch it. And when they double down, I want to, or, you're not going to listen to that music, but why not? And we say something extreme like, because a demon is going to jump out and get in you.

Steve Alessi:
Well, that never happens. So kids don't believe you. So we can't, say, tell our children to not watch or listen to things because something bad's gonna happen that does not happen, doesn't happen to anybody. That doesn't happen. What we need to tell them is, it's just not good for you. It's just not good for you. In our home, we've decided we'd rather spend more time watching, listening, ingesting things that are good for us rather than things I just don't know just bothers me, and I don't want it to bother you, too. So we've just decided as a family that's not what we're gonna do.

Steve Alessi:
That's wisdom.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah.

Steve Alessi:
And that is really listening to the voice of God. That is trying to warn us and flag us in the times that we might not listen. There's been. How many times did we turn our backs or we walk in when the kids, they didn't even realize it and they're watching television and some commercial would come on and they'd see something and you want to get their eyeballs and scrub them out. You just have to pray over your children. You can't protect everything they see and hear. But we should be people that are sensitive to the voice of God, that when we sense something is not quite. I don't think that's edifying.

Steve Alessi:
I think that's healthy. We're the first ones to get up and change the environment. Turn off the channel, turn off the music, switch it to something that is more beneficial, that needs to be our regular.

Mary Alessi:
Yeah. Well, if we make the Lord our.

Steve Alessi:
Shepherd, he'll lead us.

Mary Alessi:
He'll lead us.

Steve Alessi:
That's right.

Mary Alessi:
And then one day we'll get to a place where we shall not want.

Steve Alessi:
That's right.

Mary Alessi:
We don't want for healing. We don't want for mental stability. We have all of that.

Steve Alessi:
That's right.

Mary Alessi:
Because we walk in his shadow and his. Follow his lead.

Steve Alessi:
So I love that.

Mary Alessi:
I hope this has helped somebody today as they prepare themselves for the holidays and what they're going to stream and watch. Make sure it's good stuff. Make sure it's wholesome. Protect the Lord. All the ears of those.

Steve Alessi:
That's right.

Mary Alessi:
The eyes of those who are watching. And we'll find a couple of good ones. I'm sure that will be new to watch on Amazon or Netflix or.

Steve Alessi:
Or we'll be so busy we won't even have time. Who knows?

Mary Alessi:
Oh, man. That happens at the Farm.

Steve Alessi:
Yeah. We didn't have. We didn't really watch anything.

Mary Alessi:
We tried to do it at night, but we're too exhausted.

Steve Alessi:
We're too tired because we are early.

Mary Alessi:
Hunting and we find ourselves never watching tv.

Steve Alessi:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi:
At the farm because we're so busy.

Steve Alessi:
Turn on the Food Network, y'.

Mary Alessi:
All.

Steve Alessi:
Is the Food Network safe? Can I watch the Food Network? Is that safe? Is there anything bad on the Food Network? It just makes me fat.

Mary Alessi:
All right, well, thanks for joining us. Another episode of the Family Business with the Alessi's. We hope we said something today.

Steve Alessi:
Yes.

Mary Alessi:
That'll help you choose good programming for your family. The stream this holiday season. Take care of yourselves. God bless.

Steve Alessi:
Thanks so much for joining the Family Business today. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to follow or subscribe. Share with a friend and leave us a review. We appreciate your support and can't wait to have you join us next time, because family is everybody's business.