Dealing with Grief After Losing a Spouse: How to Heal and Find Joy Again
The Family Business with The Alessis
Dealing with Grief After Losing a Spouse: How to Heal and Find Joy Again

If you are grieving after losing a spouse, you may feel like there's no way to ever feel joy again. But there is hope. And you'll get a picture of that hope from our guest, Ann Alessi, mother of Steve Alessi. With faith and family grounding her, she found a path to healing after losing her husband, who had been by her side for 65 years. In this emotional episode, Pastor Ann opens up about becoming a widow at 85, what helped (and what hurt) in early grief, how to support someone who lost...

If you are grieving after losing a spouse, you may feel like there's no way to ever feel joy again. But there is hope. And you'll get a picture of that hope from our guest, Ann Alessi, mother of Steve Alessi. With faith and family grounding her, she found a path to healing after losing her husband, who had been by her side for 65 years.

In this emotional episode, Pastor Ann opens up about becoming a widow at 85, what helped (and what hurt) in early grief, how to support someone who lost a loved one, and why joy can still come after loss — without forgetting the person you love.

WHAT YOU'LL LEARN:

  • How to grieve in a healthy, faith-filled way after losing a husband, wife or loved one
  • What NOT to say to a grieving spouse or widow — and what to say instead
  • How to handle fear, loneliness, and the holidays after loss
  • Why you shouldn't make major life decisions in the first year after losing a spouse
  • How family and community support healing after grief
  • How to find joy again while honoring your loved one's memory

ABOUT OUR GUEST

Pastor Ann Alessi was married to Pastor John Alessi for over 65 years before his passing in October 2020. Now in her eighties, she shares wisdom from six decades of ministry and marriage on navigating widowhood, leaning on God, and embracing new roles as mother, grandmother and great-grandmother.

Whether you are a widow, widower, or supporting someone grieving a spouse, this episode offers practical, Christian encouragement for navigating grief, healing, and finding joy again.

The Family Business with The Alessis is a multi-generational podcast where a pastor's family says what they can't say on Sundays — with honest conversations about faith, family, marriage, grief and loss.

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00:00 - Introducing Pastor Ann Alessi

01:44 - A New Season: Becoming a Widow After 65 Years

03:10 - How Faith and Family Carry You Through Loss

07:23 - Why You Need Support — Not Just Scripture Quotes

11:49 - Dealing With Fear After Losing a Spouse

14:23 - What Not To Say to a Grieving Person

15:28 - How to Get Through the Holidays After Loss

20:29 - Grieving the Godly Way: Weeping Today, Joy Tomorrow

27:30 - Why Not to Sell Your House or Make Big Changes in Year One

33:29 - Final Encouragement for Anyone in a Season of Loss

Introducing Pastor Ann Alessi

SPEAKER_05

This is an encore presentation of the Family Business with the Alessis. Hello and welcome to another episode of the Family Business with the Alessis because family is everybody's business. We know that's why you are joining us today. Now you're gonna love the podcast crew that's coming to you during this recording. It is myself, my wife Mary, and my mother and Alessie. Come on, give it up.

SPEAKER_04

Thank you.

SPEAKER_05

Yes, yes, yes. Now, mom has never been in a podcast booth and recording, so she's uh a little nervous as we sit here. First off, hopefully you're able to see the merchandise that's sitting on the table in front of me. We've got great merchandise we want you to look into and check out the website and buy some. It's great stocking stuffers and something you can wear. But we're here with mom and uh mom, we want to welcome you to the podcast booth. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01

Is this what you thought a podcast was?

SPEAKER_02

I figured more or less.

SPEAKER_05

Mom's 85 years young. This is her first podcast. Who knows? She may be on more because she's doing uh uh life with us from time to time, coming down. You've moved to Stuart. You're about two hours from us, but now you're in town because we're on baby watch.

SPEAKER_04

Yes.

SPEAKER_05

And so since we are all here today at the office, we thought let's bring you into the podcast booth. So here's what

A New Season: Becoming a Widow After 65 Years

SPEAKER_05

Mary and I are thinking you could add some value to the listeners. You have uh since 2020, you've uh moved into a new season, as we lost Papa in September of 2020, or actually October of 2020, and um you have since moved into this season of your life where you are a widow, yes, and uh you've done so for just over three years now. Yes. So people, of course, look at you, they see your strength, but this has been a new season, moving into a new season for you. So uh first off, how are you doing?

SPEAKER_02

I'm doing great. Thank God for my children. I appreciate what God has given my children and the grace that they have given toward me, or that God gave them to take care of me. Uh, I appreciate that. I have a daughter in California. I have a daughter in uh Stuart, Florida, where I live, and I have a beautiful son and daughter here in Miami, and my own bedroom. Yeah. I will share that bedroom with Faith when she comes down, and she will. She'll be here too to see the baby when it's born. Um it's been um

How Faith and Family Carry You Through Loss

SPEAKER_02

difficult without my children. I don't know where how I would have handled all this. Sure. But because my children rose to the level that God wanted them to rise to, yeah, um, it has made me it made it easier for me. I also, when I when they came in and told me that my husband had passed away in the hospital from COVID, I fell apart. And of course, when I went into my bedroom, I realized I could not do this. I believe God. Yeah, I believe God has a purpose for our lives. I believe that all things work together to good to those that are called. I'm a called out one. Right. You two are, you that believe in the Lord Jesus Christ. Right. You're called out, your your name is written in glory. Yes, and therefore, if I believed what the word of God said, I had to get a hold of myself. All the time that dad was in the hospital, we kept saying because we all cried, and and and it was very traumatic for us, for a man as healthy and as robust as Pastor John was, um, all of a sudden he's gone.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And we could it was hard for us to comprehend. And consequently, we all stood upon the word of God that we knew that God would not allow anything to happen to him that God had not ordained it to be. And if this is what God had, then we must be subservient and we must accept that. And that was our philosophy, and that was my philosophy. I've stood on that. I stood on the word of God, and I tried to tell the family, God knew what the future held. We did not. We did not know what the future held. But God in his infancy, in his in his divine glory, God knew what the future would hold for him. And my husband was such that uh he never never wanted anybody to try to help him. I at least I uh I uh appreciate the help that I get. But he didn't want anybody helping him walk, he didn't want anybody helping him get up, he didn't want any of that. He was really strong with that. Well, I had to also then tell my my children that we must still look to the Lord, and God has a purpose for this. I still haven't seen the purpose yet, except for the fact that my children are all all close and we're surrounded but with one another. Yes. Uh some of you out there perhaps don't you do not have the uh the am I talking too much?

SPEAKER_05

No, not I'll catch you. You're doing good the support system around you.

SPEAKER_02

Perhaps you don't have the support system that uh I had and they had. Uh Pastor Stephen Mary had the church here, the church in Durrell, uh and the church in Daedlin, and all of them, everybody just drew together to support us, undergird us with the right right hand of the God the Father. And um I would go into my bedroom at night. I didn't want to cry around them. I didn't want them to think that I would didn't have the faith to believe that God did what he did, took my husband, uh, was the enemy that took him, but it was God that sustained us.

SPEAKER_04

Yes.

SPEAKER_02

And so I I would cry many a night that I did not want them knowing that I was crying and grieving. But believe me when I say that as we trust God, the Lord just opens up people to come to us and share things with us to uplift us. And I understand that you're going to have

Why You Need Support — Not Just Scripture Quotes

SPEAKER_02

a oh, what do we call it? What did you call it, son, for here for the widows? Oh, yeah, the grief.

SPEAKER_01

The grief and loss program.

SPEAKER_02

Grief and loss program. I admonish every one of you that have lost a loved one, whether it be a husband or uh a spouse, uh, children, yes, I admonish you in the name of the Lord to find out about that and come out because you can be ministered to. Yes. Uh it's not just as a pastor's wife for uh so many 50, 60 years, as a pastor's wife, when my mother died, and even when Pastor John passed away, people would come over to me and say, uh try to give me words of encouragement, try to quote scripture to me. Well, I'd been in the ministry since I was 16 years old, and it and I'm 85 now, and it I knew all those scriptures. I had given scriptures like that to pe to women and men. I didn't want to hear that. I just wanted my heart to heal. And so it with this grief uh ministry that is starting, I admonish you to get into it, get involved, allow the Holy Spirit to come in and wave over you, just send that beautiful Holy Spirit uh presence over you that you then can look up to the Lord and say, give me the strength to say, Thy will be done, thy will be done in my life, in my children's lives. Let me accept this, Lord, and God will put the peace of God into your heart. If He will just saturate your life in the name of Jesus, He will saturate your life until you can say, I can handle this now. Is it gonna be overnight? No. No, it will not be overnight. But Lauren that is heading this up, she will be able to give you clinical uh ideas, clinical thoughts. No one gave me those clinical thoughts. It was only the Holy Spirit, the Spirit of God that came upon me when I would pray. Did I miss my husband? Oh yes, I missed my husband. I miss him today. As I passed by the work on the uh Dayland campus, and there was that big, big uh thing that he's got across there. Banner. Banner, thank you. Banner that's across there. Well, on one side is Pastor Steve, then the beautiful edifice that's been drawn, and there was my husband up there, so skinny, 27 years old, yeah, and yet he was there with his tools, just so happy to be able to uh build the church and build the chapel at that time, so happy. And now he's gone, but he's in heaven, yeah, yeah, and he's looking out for us. Yeah, he still gives me thoughts, he still gives Pastor Steve thoughts that all of a sudden will pop out of nowhere. But allow the Holy Spirit to come in. It's been three years now, as I've said before, and it's easier and easier. Yeah. God will give you the strength.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, he will. Yes, I think.

SPEAKER_05

That's beautiful, Mom. And you know, there's something to be said about that. Mary's giving you the tissue. If you know my mom, you know she's a crier. Right. So that's a good thing. And if you're not watching and you're listening, there's some tears already flowing, so you may want to go back and watch this. But mom, you know, we're trying to look at the different seasons of life and uh your life, of course, with dad, almost 60 years of of ministry, you and him together. Um, and yes, he was the kind of guy that would take care of everything for you. He really did. He treated you well. And you didn't have to worry about things around the house. He was going to take care of them. You didn't have to worry about the cars, you didn't have to worry about the money, you didn't have to worry about those things. Because dad was uh that that was just what dad was about. So now you've come into this new season, and with every new season, there are some adjustments that need to be made. So, you know, you probably

Dealing With Fear After Losing a Spouse

SPEAKER_05

dealt with fear after Pop's passed. How did you deal with fear?

SPEAKER_02

I guess it was just the Holy Spirit, Steve, that uh helped me. First of all, uh the fear that I had I would call you and and ask you, for instance, the smallest thing like insurance. I never took care of anything like that. Yeah, I just paid the regular bills.

SPEAKER_03

Right.

SPEAKER_02

And dad took care of all the rest. Yeah. And I didn't know the first thing. I had to call you and ask you for an insurance person to call. So the fear was there, but I just felt the peace of God let me know that you're you're gonna be all right.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Because Pastor Steve took care of so much, uh, Darlene and Stuart took care of so much for me. Uh, and and all the family, it just whatever I needed, you were all there for me. And I feel sad that some of our widows out there don't have that. And I almost feel guilty to tell you that my family just encircled me and and took care of all those things for me that I couldn't take care of my myself. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

So you more or less had to just trust God.

SPEAKER_02

Yes. That the bottom line was trusting God. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

When we were at the house the other night and Lauren had come home and we were talking about the the course that she is hosting for the widows, we were just all so surprised and stunned because she hadn't really talked about it. But one of the newer widows in our church, whose husband suddenly um went out for a walk and had a heart attack and died on the street, right in their neighborhood. And it was tragic for our whole church. Our whole church felt that one. And she'd approached Lauren and said, Connect groups are great, but I think some of our widows aren't ready for that environment. And we need something that really is going to help us heal, like you said, clinically. And as we were talking about it, that's when you started sharing from your own personal perspective as to what you're feeling when you've lost somebody. And the things you need to hear and the things you don't need to hear. And for the first time, and I I mean, we've we've we've been to many funerals in ministry, you've been to twice as many over the years. Um, we've been in in grief settings where what do you say? What is the right thing to say? How do you act? What is, you know, what do people need to hear? And we've

What Not To Say to a Grieving Person

SPEAKER_01

learned they don't need to hear anything, they just need you to love them and hug them and say, I'm here for you. That's right. And you made a statement that night at the house, you said, I already knew that God would take care of it. I already knew that. I didn't want to hear that again. Not that you were angry at God or that that didn't bring you soulless. That was something you knew. You were in a land that was unknown to you for the first time. And it was so um eye-opening for me, who I know more than most people how to behave in a grief environment, but it was still very eye-opening to hear you say that from somebody who you know we all have gleaned from. And we look at you as the a mountain of wisdom and you know, the mecca for ministry and understanding. And for you to say in that moment, I just didn't want to hear that. Knowing your heart, it made us even more start to understand the heart of somebody who's grieving. And the holidays, how hard are the holidays

How to Get Through the Holidays After Loss

SPEAKER_01

for somebody who's lost a loved one?

SPEAKER_02

They're they're very hard because you start remembering back to the things that you used to do together. Right. Everything was together. I mean, dad and I were married 65, 66 years, and all of a sudden I'm alone. Yeah. I mean, at night, and I'm sure some of our widows have felt the same thing uh at night. Um, I thought I would feel him in the bed and he wasn't there. I'd reach over and he wasn't there. So holiday time, uh, I still we always went with Pastor Steve and Mary for Thanksgiving, and Christmas with Darlene and Debbie, and and all of a sudden he's not there. So I'm not gonna quit going with Steve and Mary for Thanksgiving. Neither am I going to have a not going to have a wonderful time for Christmas. Right. I mean, the most beautiful that in Easter, the day he was born, celebrating the day he was born, Jesus. Right. And then culminating with him rising from the grave at Easter time so that we could live and live forever. Right. Because we've accepted we had accepted Christ. So I wasn't gonna change any of that. I didn't want to. I said, with the grace of God, uh we'll go through it. And then I still have my family surrounding me and supporting me. Right. And so that's how I got through. Not that they would say, come on, let's read the Bible, Mom. No, no, I don't want to do that. I want to think of the good things. Yes, yes. There is not a day that goes by now that healing has taken place. There is not a day that goes by that one of my children or grandchildren does not mention my husband's name.

SPEAKER_04

Right.

SPEAKER_02

Grandpa, Papa, Papa. And we get through the day that way. And it's a we laugh. We laugh at some of the antics. And that's laughing was good for the soul. Yes. And we we never forgot him. He will never be forgotten. No, he will always be remembered in our heart, but it'll be with joy.

SPEAKER_04

That's right.

SPEAKER_05

Even most of the restaurants we go to, they they they don't forget him.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

For for good or bad.

SPEAKER_01

He made a mark for sure. He left us with a lot to talk about. Yeah. A lot of good memories.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. Well, we we see it more and more, just so many people struggling with those seasons, and uh especially with loss, and of course, um people outside of a relationship with God, we wonder how in the world do they do it? Yeah. Because the you when you're in that deep darkest moments where you feel fear, you feel um rejected, you feel like, man, the heavens are like brass. If there's God up there, how could he allow such a thing to happen? But mom, you uh you demonstrated a strength that uh you didn't realize, maybe you did, maybe didn't. Uh but your grandkids have been watching.

SPEAKER_02

No, I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, all of your grandkids watching the way that you handled this, uh really spoke to them because they I mean, losing Papa was tough. Uh of course it's a little different. He he wasn't with them as long as he was you, he wasn't their father like he was me and Debbie and Darlene's father. But they had a precious relationship with him, enjoyed their times with him. Each of them can give you more or less their own stories. But watching you navigate through that, not fall apart, not be weak, uh weepy, but be strong, and that really spoke to them. So you know, with with the day in which we live in that family unit is so important to helping you get through things, and being surrounded with the right kind of community just is so important.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, it is. Yeah, so it's not just important for you, it's important for your your sons and daughters and also your grandchildren.

SPEAKER_03

Yep.

SPEAKER_02

To see if you say you serve the Lord, then walk in that. Yeah. Walk in it and know that He's the provider of all things. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

I I want to say this that we we all made a com, we would all discuss it around this season that it was so new and fresh. That you, you know, you have always taught us so many things. How to love the Lord. You've taught us ministry. Um it's it's endless what you've taught us as the mother in our life. But one of the things that we talked about, my kids, your grandchildren, was that you showed us how to grieve the godly way.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, thank you, Mary.

SPEAKER_01

And

Grieving the Godly Way: Weeping Today, Joy Tomorrow

SPEAKER_01

you kept saying this, and I'll never forget it, because we and we've said it since then, that the day of the funeral, we were getting ready to walk out, and you said, Today uh we are going to grieve. As a family, we're gonna grieve, but tomorrow, the sun is coming up and we will find joy tomorrow. And we walked out as a family. I mean, all of us is this big entourage of family, and you let us know this is what we're going to do. What a matriarchal thing to do. And it's not that you weren't feeling weak. It wasn't that you didn't have all the normal female uh and emotional um experiences that all of us have when we grieve. It wasn't like any of that was void or lost on you. You were feeling all those things, but you were taking God at His word, but everything you said you believed, you were now grabbing hold of and walking out. And we got to see what that looked like. The example for us and your grandchildren was if God forbid it ever would have happened to us in the future, it's an example of how to greed the godly way. And you you lean on your family because your family needs you and you need your family, you turn to your church because sometimes, you know, we God is always present, He's near and dear to the brokenhearted. But what we need people in our lives too, and people who've been through it and have walked through it, that just know how not to say a word, but they understand the pain because they've been there before. But they're also An example to you that healing's in your future. Yes. And joy again is in your future. And happiness and laughing and actually enjoying your life is in your future. It's just not right now.

SPEAKER_04

Right.

SPEAKER_01

But you can stop and take the time to let your life heal, your heart heal, your body heal. And you really did exemplify what healthy and and Lauren would say this as somebody in psychology and Christopher too, not just godly grief, but the grief that you would be if you were in a counselor's office or a psychiatrist's office, what they would tell you you needed to do in order to stay healthy and have the right mind about you in order for you to heal. You did exemplify that.

SPEAKER_02

I didn't like looking around and seeing every time we got together, my grand grandchildren crying. Yes. And then we adults started to tear up. And that's when I said, No, this is not happening again. And that's when I said, We're gonna cry today. Yeah. We're really gonna cry. That's right. But this is the last time we're crying. When we leave here, we're gonna wake up in the morning and there's gonna be joy.

SPEAKER_01

Yes.

SPEAKER_02

Because the word of God says weeping endures for the night. For the night. But joy comes in the morning.

SPEAKER_01

That's right.

SPEAKER_02

And that's what I wanted my grandchildren and my family, all my family to feel.

SPEAKER_01

And they did.

SPEAKER_02

They did. And they got permission to do that. That's right. And they can only get that permission from you if I didn't cry and weep every time they saw me.

SPEAKER_01

That's right.

SPEAKER_05

And you know, I I know it's kind of um harsh to to say, but it's a reality. Death is a part of life.

SPEAKER_02

Yes. That's right.

SPEAKER_05

And we're all going to meet our Maker one day, and we're going to lose loved ones, some tragically, some uh through just the natural means of age and what happens, we can't live forever. So loss is a part of living. Death is a part of life. So we have to uh give ourselves room, yes, to grieve. That was that was sad. But yet there is that tomorrow. There there is now we got to move on because like you did, mom, you realized okay, you still got you still have life ahead of you. Absolutely. You've got your kids you're still enjoying, your grandkids. Now you're seeing your great grandkids come on the scene. You're healthy enough to embrace them and see them. You still travel, you go out to see Debbie in California. Um all of those things are still a part of your life. So you can't stop living when there is a death and a loss. You you still have to pull yourself up by the bootstraps, and life's different. It's a new season, it's not going to be the same, but but you move on.

SPEAKER_04

Yes.

SPEAKER_05

And a year, you know, after the passing of dad to the date, we were able to come back. And as much as we would try to stop by and go see dad's grave on a regular basis, partly because we missed him, partly because of guilt, like, oh my gosh, he would he would be upset with us if we didn't stop by his grave to check on everyone.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Easily visit him. But uh a year to the date after his death, we were able to name the street in front of the church after him.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, that was a beautiful testimony.

SPEAKER_05

Yep. So I see we see his name still every time we drive down the street. We're in the church that he built. Yes. Yes, we were able to take that over and um uh put our campus, one of our campuses, there. Uh so even when we're going through this remodel project, almost four million dollars. I'm looking at him thinking, wow, there's there's things here that happened in this building that dad would have been on top of and seeing. And of course, the guys joke because they know so much of what we are doing, he would not have been happy with. You can't move that, you can't change that, you can't rebuild that, you can't paint that. There would have been a lot of that going on if he was still around. So the point there is, you know, we go on without him, but yet he's always present. He's always that's a good thing, yes, and uh that's part of who we are. I mean, if you're you're talking about soul ties, there's no side soul tied tied more together than that between a husband and wife, and then between um uh a parent and a child. No, yes, because literally coming out of the womb, the parent created, so we never forget him. And he's always speaking at one time or another, seeing things. Some of some of us have had great dreams, yes, where it's like uh he just walked in and hey, I'm good.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, he did that too.

SPEAKER_05

Yes, yeah. So so you lose him, but what's the alternative? We gotta continue to live. And that's the inspiration here, mom, because even your church family, so many of them they knew, uh, especially from the Dayton campus that were with you and dad for so long. They knew what a imposing figure, strong figure dad was, but then to see you continue on and um uh do your life like you're doing uh is done well. It's really been inspiring. And I think something that helped you tremendously, which maybe

Why Not to Sell Your House or Make Big Changes in Year One

SPEAKER_05

we can encourage for everybody who has a loss, you didn't make a lot of changes right away.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, I definitely did not. I had determined that I would not sell my house, even though it was so big and so costly to keep up. But I would not sell my house until after a year when I would start to think about it. Right. Then I would start to think about it. That's right. And only then to think about it. Smart. Thank God he got us a new car before he passed away.

SPEAKER_05

He drove it one time.

SPEAKER_02

And he drove it one time, yes, before he passed. But if he hadn't gotten us a new car, I might have still been driving around in that old Lincoln.

SPEAKER_05

That's true. No, we've got Steve would have made sure. No doubt. And he left you well off financially, thankfully. You were able to be taken care of. Yes. You didn't have to get remarried. I didn't have to work.

SPEAKER_02

I see people working that's that's older and you say, Yeah, you're thank you, Jesus, that I don't have to do that. That I don't have to be a waitress. Oh, I do.

SPEAKER_05

You got a job with Metro.

SPEAKER_01

She's on the clock.

SPEAKER_05

What do you do for Metro? What do you do for Metro? What's your job responsibility?

SPEAKER_02

I write out Christmas uh birthday cards that's right every month. You should get me getting my birthday card. This this month, though, has been a little slack only because I've been really busy. Yeah, he he and Mary have kept me so busy that it takes me several days to rest up, and then I don't feel like going in and writing my cards out. So please forgive me.

SPEAKER_05

Well, we did that because I remember one day you saying to me, Oh, my handwriting isn't like it used to be. That's right. Well, you were so accustomed to sending texts, whereas before, you uh years ago you were a legal secretary, so you were a whiz on a typewriter, even with your uh disuh you disabled hand that's a little dis disabled, but uh you so you weren't doing that, but you said, Oh, my handwriting's slipping. And I went home. I told Mary, uh, we're gonna have to work on mom using left and right brain. So she can't just use her fit hands for texting anymore. I'm gonna give her a job. And I remember having our staff retreat, and when we were getting ready for the beginning of the year, I said, by the way, y'all, we have a new employee that's starting at the beginning of the year. And they're like, Oh, they got all excited and questionable with her eyes. Who? I said, Pastor Ann, Alessia, she's coming on staff. So they all thought that was adorable. So, so you are busy, you're doing something. It's not as though you're vegging out.

SPEAKER_02

No, I'm not vegging out. No, my children keep me very busy. That is good.

SPEAKER_05

You've remodeled your place in Stewart, Darlene. Really um took care of that with you, but it put you out for a little bit. Yes, because you had to put up with that whole remodel. You did finally sell your home. I did. That was a big deal.

SPEAKER_02

This past June. This past that so uh for two and a half years I stayed in the house. That's right, which is smart.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, they usually say three years. Three is a good number for any kind of adjustment and change. It takes you a good year just to realize the new, then it takes you another year to kind of figure your way out what you're gonna do next, and then within that third year, that's when changes take place. So I was right there. You were right there, mom. Okay, that was that was good. So you're you've landed on your feet. You took a fall, but you've landed on your feet, and you have um more, seemingly more energy. I do.

SPEAKER_02

I have a lot a lot of energy.

SPEAKER_05

Your hobby is what?

SPEAKER_02

Um just going around from house to house. No, you like to read. Oh, I love reading. Oh, yes. And I get to do more of that because Papa didn't he didn't like that. No, he wanted my my his under my undivided attention.

SPEAKER_05

And he wanted to go to TJ Maxx and all the time.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, he liked to shop, yes. And I just I just love uh reading a good novel.

SPEAKER_05

Yep. So you you pretty much do that every day. Get into your reading, yes, your Bible, and then your novel.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, uh and uh she's had what three or four more great grandchildren in the last year and a half, yeah. She's had four more in the last 18 months. Yeah. Um, Daniel's third baby, Marino, then Marino, and Matthew coming.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, we'll have six this Christmas. Yeah. And um when Papa passed away, we only had one great granddaughter. That's right, and that was Rome.

SPEAKER_05

Yep. Yeah. Wow. So life goes on. You're here to tell people, hey, it hurts. Life sucks sometimes, it gets really hard. But you have to do as the one old preacher said, you've got to endure the manure. Yeah, and as you do, hang in there, things could get better again. They will get better again if you handle it right.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, yeah. Well, I like that joy comes in the morning and it has come into my life. Amen. Like I said with the other brand new great-grandchildren. Uh, you know, God is good. Yeah, God is good. And don't let Satan ever tell you that he's not.

SPEAKER_05

That's it. Dad would be eighty eight, because he passed away at eighty-five.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, he would have been eighty uh eighty-eight.

SPEAKER_05

Boy, he would have been a tough eighty-eight-year-old.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, he would have.

SPEAKER_05

He would have been walking a little slower, which would have frustrated him because he loved being healthy.

SPEAKER_02

Remember how aggravated he got because he would go to uh dayland and couldn't walk but a few steps and then had to stop. And he hated it.

SPEAKER_05

And as much as we hated to lose him, we had great, great years. Yes, we would not want to have seen him lose his dignity and going downhill, anything like that, losing his strength. He, if he couldn't walk to the beach to lay out in his speedoes, he would have been so frustrated.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Well, mom, we're glad you joined us on

Final Encouragement for Anyone in a Season of Loss

SPEAKER_05

the Alesi family business, the family business with the Alessis. So you are an official podcaster as of today, and I can't wait to tell my sisters that. Thanks so much for having me. Introducing you to new things in life, Mom.

SPEAKER_04

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05

Well, thanks for joining us for another episode of the Family Business with the Alessis, because family is everybody's business. We're so glad you joined us. If you like this, subscribe, pass it on to somebody that you may know is going through a seasonal change or even have lost a loved one and is having a hard time. Pass this on. Maybe it'll be an encouragement to them. So thank you so much for joining us. God bless.

SPEAKER_00

Thanks so much for joining the Family Business today. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to follow or subscribe, share with a friend, and leave us a review. We appreciate your support and can't wait to have you join us next time. Because family is everybody's business.