July 7, 2021

Family Intervention: How to Help Your Kids Find Their Way | S1 E11

Steve Alessi and his daughter Lauren have a heart - to - heart conversation about embracing different personalities in your family and guiding your loved ones toward their purpose - even when it's not easy.


What happens when a family member seems to be moving away from their God-given purpose? 

Throughout Season 1, we’ve introduced you to the Alessi family - parents Steve and Mary along with three of their children Christopher, Stephanie (Muina), and Gabrielle. We’ve saved the story of their middle daughter Lauren for last as she brings a unique perspective to the Family Business - as a child who, at first glance, didn’t seem to fit in the same mold as the rest of her siblings. 

 

Full of laughs, tears, transparency and wisdom, this father and daughter discussion shows that while growing into your calling isn’t always easy,  the process can bring a child or young adult to a crossroads of purpose and faith. You’ll discover how open conversation, tough love and trust in God can help a family get unstuck and embrace God’s ultimate plan for their life. 

Don't forget to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE to our YouTube channel! 

https://www.youtube.com/c/SteveAlessi

Key Takeaways

  • Never assume that just because a child has a different temperament or personality, that they can’t take on a special role in your family that fits their particular view of the world. 
  • Sometimes children and young people need more hands-on leadership and guidance in order to find their way toward their life-long vocation and calling. 
  • It’s often a mistake to assume that young adults can figure out their calling without additional support from those who love them. 

Join our family business every week as we talk about life, and help you build a great future with your family, no matter what business you are in. New episodes are uploaded every Wednesday! 

To learn more about Metro Life Church

https://metrolifechurch.com

 

Get your copy of Chris Alessi's book for next generation leaders, "Up Next"

http://chrisalessi.com

 

Follow Us on Instagram

https://www.instagram.com/steve_alessi/

https://www.instagram.com/maryalessi



Follow Us on Facebook

https://facebook.com/metrolifechurch

https://www.facebook.com/Steve-Alessi...

https://www.facebook.com/MaryAlessiMusic




⬇️ Pick your favorite listening app

🎧 Listen to 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗲𝗽𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗱𝗲

✔️ Hit Subscribe or Follow 

👉 Rate 5 stars 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

✏️ Leave us an honest review

.

.

.

  • 𝗔𝗽𝗽𝗹𝗲 (https://apple.co/35ynlkt)
  • 𝗦𝗽𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗳𝘆 (https://spoti.fi/3vuxA40)
  • Amazon (https://amzn.to/3iL5vmh)
  • iHeart Radio (https://ihr.fm/3q4ov0A)
  • 𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗴𝗹𝗲 (https://bit.ly/3q6QkFr)

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

#familybusiness #christianliving #familyfriendlypodcasts .

 

 

 

 

Don't forget to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE to our channel! 

https://www.youtube.com/c/SteveAlessi

Join our family business every week as we talk about life, and help you build a great future with your family, no matter what business you are in. New episodes are uploaded every Wednesday! 

Listen to the audio version of our podcast on your favorite app:

 

⬇️ Pick your favorite listening app

🎧 Listen to 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗲𝗽𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗱𝗲

✔️ Hit Subscribe or Follow 

👉 Rate 5 stars 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

✏️ Leave us an honest review

 

• 𝗔𝗽𝗽𝗹𝗲 (https://apple.co/35ynlkt)

• 𝗦𝗽𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗳𝘆 (https://spoti.fi/3vuxA40)

Amazon (https://amzn.to/3iL5vmh)

iHeart Radio (https://ihr.fm/3q4ov0A)

• 𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗴𝗹𝗲 (https://bit.ly/3q6QkFr)

 

To learn more about Metro Life Church:

https://metrolifechurch.com

 

Get your copy of Chris Alessi's book for next generation leaders, "Up Next"

http://chrisalessi.com

 

Follow Us on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/steve_alessi/

https://www.instagram.com/maryalessi

 

Follow The Family Business on Facebook

https://facebook.com/metrolifechurch

https://www.facebook.com/Steve-Alessi...

https://www.facebook.com/MaryAlessiMusic

 

 

 

 

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

#familybusiness #christianliving #familyfriendlypodcasts .

Transcript

Steve Alessi:

All right, want to welcome you to another episode of our family business podcast with Steve and Mary Alessi because let's face it, family is everybody's business. So you hear another voice today. And for those that are watching, you see my daughter, Lauren, in the studio with us. Now what's so good about us coming together today, Lo, is that we get to discuss things that we can't say, on Sunday, when we are in service, we can come to our podcast here. And we can say things that maybe people don't hear or know about us on Sunday, because time is short, but here we're able to open up. So here you are, my middle daughter, my third child out of four. And what we're trying to do on the front side of our podcast here is get everybody to meet and hear from the different members of our family. So today, it's going to be you. We've already heard from your brother, Christopher, who takes up a lot of oxygen in the room.

Lauren Alessi:

The longest episode.

Steve Alessi:

Probably. We already heard from Stephanie who's all over the map, but she does a great job...

Lauren Alessi:

Does everything great.

Steve Alessi:

...And Gabby's gonna follow you. So whatever oxygen is left, go ahead and take. But here you are. The are our as I mentioned, our third child and our middle daughter, which means we got a son, three girls, you right in the middle. So what's unique about you is.... you... from the get go, have been very quiet. You process.

Lauren Alessi:

Yes.

Steve Alessi:

You think. And that would lead people to believe that you're shy. But we dealt with your shyness early on.

Lauren Alessi:

Yes, you dealt with it.

Steve Alessi:

How did we deal with your shyness?

Lauren Alessi:

Okay, quick story. We were at a wedding. And all of my siblings were dancing on the dance floor. I didn't want to dance. And we got in the car that night. And you said, Why didn't you dance? And I said, Well, I'm just more shy. I don't... I don't like people to see that side of me. And you said, You're not shy. Don't let people think you're shy. You are not shy. And from then on, it was like, Okay, well, I can be quiet. But I just can't be shy. . So that's been it,

Steve Alessi:

And you're not really quiet, there's a conversation going on.

Lauren Alessi:

Yeah.

Steve Alessi:

It's just not coming out of your mouth.

Lauren Alessi:

I just don't want to say it all the time.

Steve Alessi:

No, but it's going on in your head. And that... sometimes you and I are the same in their standpoint, because we have a lot of conversation going on in our head when people are doing things or act in a certain way when your brother's talking too much or your sisters. Yeah, we have a conversation going on in our mind. So yes, you are the quiet one. But like mom says, silent but deadly. Because over the years, when you do speak up, we have...it amazes us because we'll sit back. And it's like, there used to be a commercial on TV, it was called when EF Hutton when, when they speak, everybody listens. And that's how it is, whatever you'd say someone was like, wow, that's real profound. And that's what you've been able to do over the years. And that's why I wanted you to be here with us today. Because I think what I would like us to do in this podcast is talk about the person who may... one, feel like in a family, in a business environment, even -... a person who may feel like they are a black sheep, because they're different than the others in the family. And then I wanted to come from the standpoint of a parent, or even business owner who looks at a child and says, okay, where do I help my child fit in? Because that's, that's our role. That's our role. So did you ever feel like a black sheep?

Lauren Alessi:

I actually...I never felt like a black sheep or like I didn't belong. I always felt like I belonged. I just felt like I had something different on my life that was so different for my family. I was never that kid though, which I really feel like that was a protection of the Holy Spirit. I never had a moment where I was like crying in my room. "Who am I? Why can't I just be like my siblings?" The truth is, I was so prideful of my siblings and what they had, and I loved it. That was them. I just knew for a fact that that was not for me. Yeah, I knew that the speaking was on Chris, I knew that the worship was on Steph and the leadership and the calling that was on Gaby, that was on her. But I didn't necessarily want that for my life. Again, there's nothing wrong with that. It's just, I saw them. And ... I saw their passion behind it. And when it's God's will for somebody, there's just an automatic excelling in it. I just didn't feel that. And so yeah, I never felt like a black sheep, like I didn't belong, I just kind of felt like, okay, one day, everybody will see that I am right, and that this is not for me. And I mean, for as long as I can remember, I have felt that like, since a little girl, but it was never something, I'm just gonna have to prove to everyone that they're wrong. It was just gonna have to be, God's gonna have to show me where I do belong. And so,yeah, that's pretty much it.

Steve Alessi:

Well, no, that that's, that's such wisdom there, Lo, because what happens is in our line of work, because you're somebody always...from a pastor's perspective, they're in there, they're visual, they're how front. And if they're out front, then that means they're always, you know, supposed to have this, this vibrant personality, and they have to be loud. And they, they have to be engaging from that standpoint. So people immediately think, okay, they're the leader. What... what sometimes people don't pick up on is that there's another side of people strength, and even in the organization and in the family, that doesn't require them to be so loud, so out front, so... you know, just this big huge personality in the sense that people judge you by this personality that you have. And that's where it's good to, for everyone to sit back and say, okay, that may work for that individual. But that doesn't make me anything less if I'm not that, because I can bring something that stabilizes what the whole organization is doing. It's almost like a sailboat, you have the tall masts, that then you have with the tall mast, the big sails, and the wind hits that stuff. And that if the wind gets too heavy, it'll push that sailboat in the right direction. But then you have to have what is underneath that sailboat, that long, heavy stabilizing mechanism keeps the sailboat from turning over. And that's what someone that has strength brings to the family. That doesn't require them to have to be the one that's out there for everybody to see. And that's what was always on you.

Lauren Alessi:

And I think maturity is realizing, one is not better than the other.

Steve Alessi:

Right.

Lauren Alessi:

It's like you're either a truck person or like a sports car person, you either prefer power or you prefer speed. But..

Steve Alessi:

Yeah...

Lauren Alessi:

Just because you prefer speed doesn't mean you're not any better than somebody who prefers to have power in a truck, you know, you just... if that's your preference to what you prefer. But if you prefer speed, you're going to lack power in the car that you drive. If you prefer power, you're going to lack speed. You know this, driving your truck, I mean, you drive a pretty nice truck that goes pretty fast. But when you like accelerate, there's a little bit of a lug, that you're not going to get in a Porsche, you know. So I think it's ...maturity is just realizing that's your preference. And life is just realizing you're not going to have everything. If you're the quiet type, who has that quiet type strength, you're not going to be that loud, extroverted person who gets the party going. But you know what, that's not my preference. And there's nothing wrong with the person who's probably more upfront leadership, strong, outgoing, who probably behind the scenes, doesn't know how to act, doesn't know how to be introverted. But then there's nothing wrong with that. It's just a preference. It's just a personality. It's just who that person is,

Steve Alessi:

And wise and strong is the person, and young person, that figures that out soon. Now, that's my job. As a parent, my job is to help my kids find their place in life. Now, there's different schools of thought for this Lauren, because some people think, well, I got to let my kids find their way.

Lauren Alessi:

Yeah.

Steve Alessi:

And there's a certain truth to that. There's a way in which that can happen. And I understand that. I think a little bit more overdriving on the part of the parent early on in a kid's life is needed. Overdriving mean they're just a little more overbearing, they're on top of it. They're on... they're watching the kid, they're listening to conversations that kids have and they're watching the kind of people the kids are surrounding themselves with. And even as young adults - whose their peer group. They're, they're keeping an eye on all that to help them navigate through some of those early days. So I always felt like part of my job as a father, as of course, a pastor, if I'm a pastor out in the church, I'm going to first pastor in my home. So I've always felt like it was my job to help each of you find your place. Now, if we were to look at our computers, we have a lot of stickers on our computer screens here and...

Lauren Alessi:

All over the place.

Steve Alessi:

All over the place. And one of yours says... it's big, bold, and green. It says, keep the country country. Where did you get that?

Lauren Alessi:

I got that in Hawaii. You let me go to Hawaii for a semester. I did a semester of school in Oahu, Hawaii, and I had so much fun. It was so great. But I did to go for school. I always try to clarify...

Steve Alessi:

Yeah.

Lauren Alessi:

And then that's where I got all these stickers.

Steve Alessi:

Yep.

Lauren Alessi:

But that was such a great experience. It was only four to five months. But it was kind of like...

Steve Alessi:

yeah...

Lauren Alessi:

...shaping me to kind of... it was my first time away from my family. Okay, who am I really without my family? And that was kind of strange.

Steve Alessi:

And that was a big deal. That was a big ask on your part. Yeah. And that wasn't easy. First, you're going to local college here, FIU. And you had an opportunity to, you know, study abroad, and how can you keep your... stay focused and on point with your major, and they were able to make that happen. And, man, I remember the conversations. And at first it was "Oh, yeah, that was fine." Right?

Lauren Alessi:

Yeah.

Steve Alessi:

We first said yes. So you prepared yourself to do it. But then we came back. And mom and I, the more we thought about it, we came back. And we said no.

Lauren Alessi:

Yeah.

Steve Alessi:

That was tough. That was a real..That was a real test for you. On the way that you handled that. And in the moment, did you handle it good?

Lauren Alessi:

No, I did not. I think I got... I was just like... "but you said yes! Like this is supposed to happen." But you had said, just try to find some other options. Just, just try to branch out. And so...'cause the program I could, it was...you could...you can kind of go to school anywhere in the country. And I was like, okay, but I don't want to go to like California, I don't want to go anywhere. So I was trying to find other schools. But just nothing really had interested me.

Steve Alessi:

But the fact that you would ask showed us you were searching, you were looking for something. And it's so much easier to say all these years later, that that was a win. Because in at one point, we're like, we wasted our money. We wasted her time, we wasted people's encouragement, because she went and she did this, and you came back with Hawaii on your mind. It was in your heart. And you were like, I'm going back.

Lauren Alessi:

Yeah.

Steve Alessi:

When I graduate, I'm going back. I'm gonna marry a surfer. Oh, my gosh, this whole thing is falling apart.

Lauren Alessi:

Yeah, it was... That was a real learning experience for me, because it was like...I mean, when I was out there, everything, it seemed like, wow, this was everything I was searching for. It was different from my family. It had felt like everything I was looking for. But then God's like, Are you not going to trust me? Like, I've provided you this far. If you like.. it's not that, oh, you feel like you're going to end up here? You're not going to trust me that will end you up here, that's not what I'm saying. But God's like, you know, if you have the dreams and desires of your heart, that you're going to trust me with, to have a life like that, like you had over there. You don't trust me that I'll give that to you?

Steve Alessi:

Yeah.

Lauren Alessi:

And that's when I kind of felt that tough love from God that, okay, now you're gonna have to wait for it. And now you're gonna have... you've had your fun season. But now you're going to have to learn in your waiting season. And you're going to have to learn to grow up a little bit. And that... now I'm still learning from it. But I'm just so grateful. Because it's one of those things where I'm like, wow, I could have... I could have married a surfer and I could have ended up in a terrible little beach shack and just been...

Steve Alessi:

Yeah.

Lauren Alessi:

I mean, in my head, I would have been happy. But that wouldn't have been the will of God for my life. Like, I just think... it's... grandma always says, you know, it's good, but it's not God.

Steve Alessi:

Yeah.

Lauren Alessi:

And just because something's good, doesn't mean it's the will of God for your life. And so, I'm just grateful for parents that aren't just pastors, but they're always like, "okay, yeah, that's good. But that's not God's for your life." ...and they're always not just searching for what's good or even what's great. But what does God really want you to do? And even if it's the hardest thing for us to walk through, you're like, "Hey, we'll walk through it for a couple years, life is hard. Life's difficult. That's kind of what you got to do." Because on the other side of that, is a whole new level to God's goodness, you don't even expect yourself to walk through yet. And now I'm on the other side of that, experiencing that. And I'm like, "Oh, my God, if I got stuck there if my parents didn't challenge me..." I mean, I can't even I can't even imagine if it wasn't for you guys. Just challenging me and pulling me to take that step of faith.

Steve Alessi:

Family intervention.

Lauren Alessi:

Yeah, exactly.

Steve Alessi:

That was a tough one.

Lauren Alessi:

That was a tough one.

Steve Alessi:

We haven't had many.

Lauren Alessi:

But that was definitely ...

Steve Alessi:

we and...I don't think when you were growing up, did I ever spank you?

Lauren Alessi:

I think just like once or twice.

Steve Alessi:

One time. And that would have been such a light little swat. But that was your spanking. Yeah. That family intervention was...we.... so we saw that you came back. You were struggling with getting your feet underneath you, you weren't.... because of that struggle, you were not excited at all about church work, about anything, and you're still had school to do. And you were a bit disconnected from what the rest of the family was doing. And so we're looking at all of that, we're saying now. "Okay, we either let this thing play out. But if we let it play out without saying anything, we know what the end is going to look like. It's not going to be good."

Lauren Alessi:

Yeah.

Steve Alessi:

So we said, okay. We had a family council before you came home. And actually a couple days before, and we said, All right, is anybody picking up on this thing? and it was like, Yes. Why didn't somebody say something? Finally we can talk about it? Yes. It's terrible, this... It's that moment with your siblings, where you're like, yes, we hate them. And they're being mean. Somebody say something. So we were all on the same page as a family. And we're like, Okay, then let's set the room up. And we did. And we you were out doing something. And when you came in, all of us were set up. And we said, Lauren, sit down, we got to talk. And that was hard for us, Lo, because you never really had done anything wrong. That's why you only got one little swat maybe growing up, you were always, always kind, always respectful, always obedient. It was just this one thing was like you got stuck.

Lauren Alessi:

Yeah.

Steve Alessi:

And we had to get you unstuck. So the family came around, and we did the family intervention. And wow, it... The ...The beautiful thing about it - I'm not going to ask you to speak too much on that, because that was a real tough...

Lauren Alessi:

yeah.

Steve Alessi:

That was a tough one for you. But you responded great. Everything we had prayed for going into that family intervention, everything we ever spoke on over your life, we saw manifest itself. So we knew that we were doing right with that intervention. And the way you responded, then made it easier for us to then, all as a family, get back in step. And because of that, Lauren, the Lord saw that he could trust you with something. He could trust you with the vision, or destiny and purpose for your life. Because as we said earlier, okay, the singing, that's great. It's needed in our line of work. The leadership is great, and it's needed in our line of work. The speaking, communicating is great, and it's needed in our line of work. But where does Lo fit in? What gift is Lauren bring to the table? And the organization that we lead, not only do we have one campus where we can use... all of us use our own gifts and talents. We have two campuses, each serving. But there's other areas of ministry that we were... we know will be needed, we know now is needed, especially after,coming out of 2020 like we did and now into this year and next year. People need that course correction, they need counseling. So this is something that came up in our spirit. And I was with mom one night, and I said you know Mar.... You know how many times we sit back and we listen to Lauren say things and all of us are like, wow, that's wisdom. That's amazing. Even beyond your years, and we would all sit back. And it was... it was...it was profound, really as a young girl at your age whenever was, it was always worth the family. stopping and listening to, and it was always balanced. It was always right. And I said to mom one day I said, you know, Mary, I think... and I'm not saying God spoke to me. But I think Lauren has a gift for mini...for counseling. I think she's got an anointing for that. And mom and I talked about it, we prayed about it. And I remember saying, okay, Lord, you open the door for me to bring this to Lauren's attention, and just get you... get her to think about it. So you remember that drive? We were on our way to Georgia.

Lauren Alessi:

I don't remember exactly...,

Steve Alessi:

We were on our way to Georgia. You were in my truck with me. Mom and them we're behind us. And I, you were driving. I said, Lauren, drive. And I took a nap. And then I got up from the nap. And you were on the.... you were doing the drive on I-10. And I said, Lauren, let me ask you something. And I started to unveil this...

Lauren Alessi:

Yes. I think... from what I slightly remember, yes.

Steve Alessi:

Okay. So what happened in your mind as you started processing all of this?

Lauren Alessi:

Well, I think that was the first time I was like, Oh, my gosh, I felt like, seen. And I don't want to tear up or anything like that. But it makes me laugh, to the intervention, I started tearing up. Because I was like, it's when you don't want to get spanked as a kid. But then years later, you're laughing about it. And you're like, thank God I was spanked as a kid, because then you meet kids who aren't spanked. And they're just like the worst. That's how I feel. I'm like...

Steve Alessi:

Yeah. Yeah ....

Lauren Alessi:

...that was the worst. But thank God for it. Because I would have been the same. And I couldn't afford to be the same, I need to be better. I need to... everybody needs to be better. They can't be...they can't afford to stay in pride and stay in stubbornness. And that night, after our family intervention. I went upstairs and I was just crying and crying. Because I knew I was wrong. I knew it. And... I hate to cry. I hate to cry. But I felt the Lord say, Lauren, there's no room for pride in my kingdom. And you really can't be prideful and abide in my word at the same time. That's just not how it works. And so from that night on, I just felt like, Okay, if I'm going to do this, and I'm going to do this, right, and I want to see all my dreams and all my desires for life, come to fruition. I lay everything down. All my pride, all my stubbornness, even my dreams and desires. Everything I hope for my life, I surrender it all. And it was like from then on, God just started opening - I mean, there was a season of waiting, right, where nothing happened. And I just had to get to work and nothing happened. But now God has just opened doors in my life where I'm like, What are you - What do you see in me? And then to that conversation that we were having in the car, I was like, Wow, my, my dad has peace, that I don't have to be a singer. I don't have to be a minister. I don't have to do the ministry that my siblings do. But there is a way for me in ministry. And that was, that was such a beautiful moment for me. Because I was like, I was waiting for you and mom to view it. I had felt my whole life, which is that I don't want to do what everybody else does. I wanted to do something different. And that was just such a beautiful moment for me. And it was a very mature conversation. It wasn't a spiritual like, conversation of "Oh, well, God's telling me this." It was okay. Well, if you're going to counsel, how are you going to do it? What school are you gonna go to? How are we going to pay for it? It was very mature. It was very, in an adult manner. And I just loved how you took me seriously. It wasn't a "Oh, well, you know, that'll all go away one day, so don't you know get your hopes up." No, it was such a God ordained conversation of God saying, I've seen you wait, I seen you put your pride aside. Now here's me blessing you with your future and what you're gonna do. And it was just, now remember that conversation. It was beautiful. So yeah.

Steve Alessi:

Well Lauren, we're both crying in here.

Lauren Alessi:

I know.

Steve Alessi:

It's kind of nuts because we are dealing with stuff that maybe young young adults would struggle with. And the parents that still are looking at their kids and they're wondering how in the world am I going to see anything change? It's so important that we .... it's like holding on to the reins when you're riding a horse. You hold on, just enough to where you trust that the horse will go in the direction, they say a feel. First, it starts with pressure, they pull to the left, pull to the right, pull back, loosen up, go forward with the horse. But after a while a good horse knows that all you do is you just touch the side of the neck and the reign, you loosen up or you give a little tug. And the horse responds. That's what happens with adulthood. It's our job to come up alongside of you even as a young adult.

Lauren Alessi:

Yeah

Steve Alessi:

... who's sitting in college struggling with "What am I going to do with my life?"

Lauren Alessi:

Yeah.

Steve Alessi:

I'm not sure we really have this right in the American system.

Lauren Alessi:

We do not.

Steve Alessi:

Maybe Israel has it better send your kids - to right out of high school, to go to the army for a couple years, and then help them with their education. We put them into their education before they even know what they want to do with their life... .... and then they find themselves most of the time

Lauren Alessi:

Yep either going in with a major that's undeclared, or they change their major, or they go in with a real soft lob major that is they're not really sure what's gonna happen. That's because they don't know their future. And one of the problems with that is nobody's helping them find it. And they have a guidance counselor that comes alongside and says do it this way. But they don't know the heart of the person, they don't know the heart of the student. We always felt like if we were going to do anything for you, we needed to help you navigate... this decision. So we knew you from the day you were born. We saw your unique temperament and your personality. We knew that you weren't a mistake, or a castaway or a black sheep. We knew that if God puts you in our home, there was going to be a reason. And especially if the rest of us were moving in the same direction, there was going to be a reason that we would be together and you would complement what we're doing. We just had to think, even as parents, out of our own paradigm, we had to have a shift. And it couldn't be that the only thing about ministry here, the only way to do ministry is on the platform. Yeah.

Steve Alessi:

So in your case, you're saying, Wait a minute, this girl can help us in the counseling ministry. And that wouldn't have come our way Lauren, if you hadn't been willing to say, I sacrifice what I'm thinking and what I want in my young life.

Lauren Alessi:

Yeah.

Steve Alessi:

Because you didn't know really what tomorrow was gonna hold? The parents who did know what tomorrow is gonna hold was trying to show you that this is what's going to happen. If you don't find a solid life, you couldn't just sit on the beach in Hawaii. Yep. And as cool as that may have been, when we started talking, okay, Lauren, how you gonna pay for everything? How you going to support yourself? What, you're gonna sell coffee in a coffee shop? And when reality hit...

Lauren Alessi:

I was like, what?

Steve Alessi:

Somebody's got to pay the bills, not my parents. So there was a major shift, but you were willing to do it. So what have you done since that conversation? You graduated FIU,

Lauren Alessi:

So now I am... I graduated with my bachelor's at now what? FIU. I really didn't know, I picked a major, like you said, based off "Oh, this seems cool. Let's do it." And then I went back in 2020, the fall and got my master's. I'm studying to be a clinical health counselor. So I'm in my second semester already, I'm learning so much. But I've basically been learning that everything about my temperament, everything about my personality, is everything that you really need to be a counselor, and that really benefits you to be a counselor. So for instance, we've always had a joke between me and my sisters that's like, oh, if you want to keep a secret tell Lauren. She'll take it to the grave.

Steve Alessi:

So true.

Lauren Alessi:

And I mean, it could... I just take things as nobody needs to know, it's okay, we're good. I'll keep a secret. We're good. And the main thing about counseling is unless it's sexual abuse, physical abuse, neglect, anything like that. Confidentiality cannot be broken. Anything in that room, it has to be said, another thing is that conflicting relationships within the church, you have to be careful who you counsel, because at any point, you can say, Oh, we need to counsel, you need to counsel this person. My ministry, I hope is to counsel people here at Metro Life Church. Well, my family all the time is like, Oh, do you know this person, do the name of this person? I'm like, Who are they? I don't know them. And they're like, they've been coming for like two years. Again, I'm at Dadeland. But I'm like, I don't know who these people are. Well, that actually works to the benefit of counseling because you really shouldn't know and see people that you might be counseling one day. And so it's just all these funny things of like, wow, if that was Gaby, we'd be in trouble because Gaby talks to everybody, Gaby knows everybody, Gaby would not be able to keep that a secret.

Steve Alessi:

Or Chris

Lauren Alessi:

or Chris would not work. But I've actually had people come up to me and say, thank you for doing that. And they're like, it's not that the church doesn't see the importance of it. That's not it. It's the fact that we feel safe enough to be at a church, where the pastors recognize the importance of it, to the point where one of their children is a mental health counselor, is... there's just a safety net in that, that things can be done from the stage. Absolutely. Ministry can be done from the stage. Absolutely. And you do that. You still do the singing. And yes, you cooporate in speaking like you're doing even now. Yeah. But people can be coming to your church for 10 plus years, and have untouched childhood trauma that they don't want to touch unless they go see a counselor.

Steve Alessi:

Yeah.

Lauren Alessi:

And the pastors and the ministry can help that only so much. Because there is a certain aspect - I mean, God has called the counselor in the Bible. He is called the counselor. So it's, there is an aspect of there needs to be that one on one trained professional, that helps a person walk through things that nobody else has ever walked through with them. So I think it's just, it's something I'm grateful to be chosen to do, something I'm really grateful for God to say I entrust you with this.

Steve Alessi:

Yeah.

Lauren Alessi:

Yeah, I don't even know how to explain it.

Steve Alessi:

Well, the world needs it, especially now. And to see that this is something that really touches your heart. You are pursuing your master's at Liberty University.

Lauren Alessi:

Yes.

Steve Alessi:

So this is a big deal for you. We're super, super proud that you'll be stepping into it the way that you are, you're good at it. You're really good with studies, which takes you and your mom, me and your mom, we're not too good at that. That's where you shine supreme, for sure. But I think this is very helpful, though. I think it's going to encourage others in their own search for significance. Where do I have a role to play? Because most people in life? I mean, one of the big questions are, is, why am I here? And what am I supposed to do? What's my purpose? We helped establish your calling as a family. And all of us were on the same page. We all were in agreement. You needed to be in agreement. Yeah. You needed to be open to say, Hey, I'm in agreement with that. I can see it. And it was ordained, God made it happen due in large part because as a young woman, you were willing to say early on, I don't know everything. If my pride is getting in the way, let me back up. Because you put it out there even though it was Hawaii, the country.

Lauren Alessi:

The country life.

Steve Alessi:

We're able to really experience that. Okay, so I'm gonna close with this as I usually like to throw a question your way. Okay. The question I want to have for you is it's about siblings. So who's the sibling that you fight with the most?

Lauren Alessi:

Oh, boy. Fight with the most.

Steve Alessi:

Come on.

Lauren Alessi:

Me and Chris, go at it a lot. Chris is a very different person. We don't fight though. It's just ...we just tease each other. I tease Chris a lot.

Steve Alessi:

Who irritates you the most?

Lauren Alessi:

Is that? Okay? Here's the honest truth. Chris irritates me the most. But I would say me and Stephanie probably fight the most.

Steve Alessi:

Yeah.

Lauren Alessi:

Just because our personalities. But every sibling is different.

Steve Alessi:

That's it. That's it. Well, mom just stepped in the studio there. This has been another wonderful episode of our family business podcast. I hope you were encouraged by this. And thanks, Lauren. You really did a great job. We cried.

Lauren Alessi:

I didn't mean to.

Steve Alessi:

Not just you. We hit the microphones a lot. We... all because we're a bit emotional. But it was a great episode. And thank you for joining us today with the family business podcast.

Chris Alessi:

Thanks for listening to the Family Business Podcast with the Alessis. We appreciate you listening and learning with us as we just shared more about the family business. You know, I bet there's someone you know who can use this kind of advice and encouragement. So make sure to share this episode with them and their family. Because let's face it, family is everyone's business. If you want to be a part of our family, subscribe to the show right now on your favorite app and make sure to download the episodes so you can hear them at any time. Oh, and one more thing. One of the best ways to help us spread the word about the family business with the Alessis is by reviewing the show on Apple Podcasts or your favorite app. So help us out. write a review and join us next time at the Family Business Podcast with the Alessis.