How to Handle a Waiting Season (Flashback Episode)

SPEAKER_03 0:00

Hello, Family Business Podcast Family. I am Lauren Alessie and I have not been on the podcast for a little bit. I'm sorry about that, but I promise I have a good reason because I've been a little bit busy. But please enjoy this kind of replay podcast from a few seasons back. And it's with me and my mom. My mom's interviewing me about how to handle a waiting season, how to handle that kind of in-between seasons, waiting for change, waiting for something to happen. And that's kind of why I haven't been on the podcast in a while because I was in that season for a bit. And a lot has changed. I've married now, I was planning a wedding on a honeymoon, gone for a long time, but now I'm back. Or not a long time, it was actually pretty short. But, anyways, now I'm back, and I'd love to share my story of how I met my husband, and I can't wait to introduce Daniel to the audience and to all of you very, very soon. But for now, enjoy this replay and this flashback of a podcast, and I hope you enjoy it. Please forgive the fact that it's an old video. If I say anything that was crazy, it was a long time ago, so forgive it. And forgive the terrible hair and makeup. I'm sorry, I've come a long way. I'm trying, I'm trying now. But, anyways, enjoy the podcast.

SPEAKER_02 1:21

Welcome to another episode of The Family Business with the Alesssies, and I am here again with my daughter, Lauren. Yes. Our daughter, Lauren. I have to give Dad credit or he won't like that. Our daughter, Lauren Alessie, who is great to talk with you in this podcast booth. We always have some very interesting conversations, and we're going to talk about one today that I think is going to help a lot of people. Whether you're married, single, waiting on something, whatever the situation, whatever season you're in, we're going to talk about a subject that actually you and me were driving to a doctor's office. I think we had a you had to drive me to the doctor's office.

SPEAKER_01 2:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:03

Um, and we had a long drive in the car, and we just started talking and processing. And through that conversation, I started, I grabbed my phone and I started taking notes. And I said, we've got to jump in the podcast booth, Lauren, and talk about this because this is something that either you've been here, are here, or will be here. And maybe a couple times in your life you might revisit this season. And we're really kind of talking about waiting.

SPEAKER_03 2:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:30

And everybody associates waiting to singleness.

SPEAKER_03 2:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:34

But that's not always the case. There are seasons that throughout our life where we're going to have to wait on things. I know for me, I had to wait to have kids. And I've told you guys that story more times than you probably want to hear it. But I had to wait to have kids. I wanted to have kids sooner. I had to wait on that. And the truth of the matter is I did not handle that waiting season well at all. I had a very difficult, very difficult season because I didn't understand why I had to wait. There had to be a reason I was waiting. And so as we were talking about it in the car, you said some really profound things. Um, because you're still young. You're not really in a real waiting. You're kind of somewhere in that, but you're not like really waiting. You're enjoying your life.

SPEAKER_01 3:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:23

You're single, but you're enjoying that. I'm trying to just enjoy my life. And you have, you know, two siblings that got married, and you and Gabby are living this single life and enjoying having your freedom. And you have had such a great perspective about that. And I've watched you and Gabby have such a great attitude about it that I have reflected back to my own situation when I was in a waiting season. And I I look at you guys and I go, wow, they're so mature. I was not, because I wanted whatever I wanted it, wanted, and I wanted it now. So um kind of talk about that because what we were saying in the car was a way to get through the waiting is how you spend your time waiting.

SPEAKER_03 4:04

Yeah. I think being the third child is very helpful. Oh boy. At times, if you choose to do it wisely, because you kind of get to see two others go before you. That's true. And so you get by by the time you're like the fourth child, you get to see three others go before you. But kind of being younger on the totem pole of siblings is super helpful because I've always just been an observer. I've just been someone who watches and listens. So that's been helpful because I just get I've gotten to see them, you know, in their singleness, in their married season, in their having kids now season. So, and I know that's to a lot of people, that's just three steps of waiting. Right. For Steph, it wasn't waiting. She just, you know, got pregnant, got married. She doesn't wait. She doesn't wait on anything. But there is a lot of little details in there, like, okay, you know, waiting to find the right person. And then you find the right person, and then you're waiting for, you know, to actually get married, because now you've got a date, and then you've got to get engaged, and you've got to get actually married. And then now you're waiting on a house. Now you're waiting on the right house. And in this market in the city, that's a lot of faith that you gotta have to find the right house. And so it's a lot of little bits of waiting and praying and having faith. So I think being the third sibling, it's kind of just been interesting to watch and learn and observe um just to see how they've done it and to see their process through it and also learn from not anything they've done wrong because the fruit of their life is awesome. You know, it's great. Oh, yes. But just to kind of see how I would like to do it. And I think for me, if I get stuck in one place too long, I just get very agitated. So enjoying this place of okay, you know, I'm I am free to to do things, I am free to travel, I am free to enjoy this season. That's that's a blessing that I have in this waiting, whatever you want to call it, season.

SPEAKER_02 5:59

So you know, I think what I would, and I'm I'm obviously I'm not 24, I'm 54, right? I'm 30 years older than you. I'll just say that. 30 years older. I had I had you when I was 30. And in my mind, I was supposed to have all my kids by the time I was like 24. I had it in my head that for some reason, why would I wait to have children? My clock is ticking. And we've been, you know, we've heard that all our lives, that things are supposed to happen this way. There's this pattern that you get out of high school, and then you go to college, and then you get out of college, and you find Mr. or Mrs. Wright, and then you marry them, and then you wait two years, and then two years, oh, that's perfect. And then you have your boy, and then you wait, yeah, you know, two years, and then you have your girl. Then you guys decide if you want to get a house, you get a nice house, then you decide you want to have more, or if you're done. And and really, that who invented that?

SPEAKER_03 6:53

Yeah. And I don't know why, but a majority of girls think that way. By 28, I should have all my kids. In my generation, too. Yes. By 20, all your kids should be born.

SPEAKER_02 7:04

So if that doesn't happen, yeah, then the waiting becomes a season of being weary and we're frustrated because we're having to wait. There might even be a season where you have to wait for the right job. Yeah. Wait for school. There's things that are happening in school. And something that I admire and I see as a sign of maturity at whatever season or whatever age you're in is when you can sit back and say, if I'm supposed to be in that season, I would be in that season.

SPEAKER_01 7:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:32

Because I've done things right up to this point. I've made practical decisions, I've used wisdom, I've obeyed my parents, I haven't done crazy things, I've not spent lots of money, I don't have$50,000 in credit card loan, you know, debt bills and debt. I've done things well. If I was supposed to be in that season, I would be in it. And I think that's a sign of maturity when you could say, hold on, I want to enjoy the season I'm in. Because I know for me, Lauren, one of the things that, and it's a character flaw. It is not a personality trait. It is a character flaw to not be satisfied where you are and always want to be somewhere else. That is not healthy.

SPEAKER_03 8:10

No, it's not healthy.

SPEAKER_02 8:11

Because you'll get married to the love of your life and look at that person and go, ooh, what if it was better with someone else? You know, I waited to get married and now I'm looking at you, and now we've been married three or four years. I'm just being honest, okay? This happens. These are the things people think. We all think, now I look better than I did in my 20s. What if I had waited? Would I have gotten a better spouse? That sounds really awful and cruel. I'm not saying I looked at your father, but I would say that. But you've seen, you've heard or seen people with that. But I know that we what we all have the propensity to do. I'm I'm a better version of myself now. Would I have made different decisions? Yeah. Because now I'm healthier and I'm stronger and I'm I'm more mature, but I had to have it back then. So when you rush a season, it can create a sense of real insecurity in the future that you did not see coming because you just have to have what you want right now. Oh, and God forbid, the village around you, the people around you are all getting married or having kids. Yeah. Well, that's a mistake for you to dive into something that you're not ready for and it's a sign of immaturity. But when you can look at your life and go, okay, all my friends are married and they're all having kids, and I'm not there yet, and that's okay. Or all my friends have graduated and they're in these full-time careers.

SPEAKER_03 9:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:28

And I'm not there yet. I'm still working at, you know, two jobs, but I have dreams.

SPEAKER_03 9:34

I have goals. Or even like all my friends, because I see this happening with some friends who are married, having kids. All my friends live in really nice houses. You know, they're making a good amount of money. I can't get a raise. I I've been at the same job for how long? I can't get a you know, good paying amount of money at my job. Like I've just been stuck here. I can't do anything. No good job opportunities are coming up. And so that's a very big one, too. It's just like you're stuck financially, you're stuck career-wise, and everybody else is moving on up and you're you're just stuck.

SPEAKER_02 10:08

They're moving up and you're stuck. But I think I go back to a sign of real sense of worth and maturity is when you stop and you look at where you are and you start counting your blessings, and you realize I think I might have it better than they have it because they've already got a lot of pressure, a lot of burdens, a lot of responsibility. I'm not in their shoes just yet. One day I will be, and I'll have all that load financially and expectation. Why am I squandering a season of freedom or a season where I could contribute, give back, um, sew into other people? There's so much that the season, first of all, of being single, how you can add value to your society. And there's as much, if not more, than when you're married and you don't have kids yet. So I'll I'll tell you perfect perfect example. The four years that I tried to have children and couldn't have kids, which seemed like an eternity back then. I look back and I have friends that waited 10, 15 years to have kids. So I don't even like to tell my story because it sounds like I'm a whiner.

SPEAKER_00 11:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:21

But one of the things I learned after like the first year and a half, I had a friend of mine look at me and say, Well, it's not gonna happen for you because you're all locked up. You're so filled with anxiety. And what you should do, and she was my one friend that wasn't like a Christian in my mind. She was a Christian. She had the best advice.

SPEAKER_01 11:41

In my mind, she wasn't agreeing. She was really a Christian.

SPEAKER_02 11:44

Because I was just so religious back then. But she said, What you and your husband need to do is you need to go away to an island and spend the weekend together and have a glass of wine. And I remember her thinking, oh my God, she's such a sinner. She just told me to have a glass of wine. I didn't even want to tell my mom. Um, meanwhile, I look back and I'm like, that was the best advice. Take a chill pill. Yeah. You know, relax. You're not going to go to hell if you have a glass of wine and you relax. As a matter of fact, God's probably looking down on you going, finally, will you relax a glass of wine? You won't listen to me.

SPEAKER_03 12:19

Well, and I think we throw around this word a lot in today's culture, but that is literally how anxiety is created. Yeah. Because fear is like, okay, you're just scared of something. Anxiety is when you are living in the future and you're or you're afraid of something that has not happened yet and it is not possible to happen yet. You know, so a lot of people are living in the future, are living in six months from now. And I remember you telling me this. You're like, Lauren, you're worried about something six months or a year from now, and you're living in that time, and you are living in today, and you need to realize that you cannot make decisions based on six months from now. You have to live today.

SPEAKER_02 12:56

That's right.

SPEAKER_03 12:57

And so I think you were talking a lot about, you know, just being content where you're at. And I'll never forget, I think it is uh the famous verse in the Bible, Philippians 3 14. Forgive me. I'm terrible at quoting scripture. I read my Bible and I know all the time, but it's like movies. I can watch the movie over and over again, but I can never quote it. That's how I am. But it says, um whatsoever. I can do all things to Christ who strengthens me. Yeah. That's Philippians.

SPEAKER_02 13:25

Yeah, but it's not 4-8.

SPEAKER_03 13:27

What is it? Okay, we got we're all on the same page.

SPEAKER_02 13:31

Write to us and tell us the right scripture. We would love for you to put that in the chat.

SPEAKER_03 13:36

Okay, that's the famous verse.

SPEAKER_02 13:37

Yeah. I can do all things to Christ who strengthens me. Who strengthens me?

SPEAKER_03 13:40

Yes. Right before that, Paul is talking about contentment.

SPEAKER_02 13:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:44

And that always struck me because I was reading that at a time where I was like, I hate where I'm at. I just want to I was getting agitated. It wasn't so much like, oh, I'm so sad, but I was bored, you know. I was like, I wanted to do something. I want to do something different. And when I read that, I was like, okay, I felt like I could relate to him in that moment. It was like, that's where I could do all things through Christ who strengthens me. It's not something, you know, that requires so much faith that I can move a mountain. It's literally, I can stay right here for this next week, and I don't need anything to move in my life. Right. I can live my life the same. I don't need God to do a move right now. I can be content. Yes. And I feel like that is such a great illustration for people who are waiting. Because they that verse, like, oh, I can do all things who strengthen me. I can lift this rock. I can do this, you know, I can heal somebody. But he was talking about contentment and being content where you're at. And so I just love that verse. And I I think a lot about um when you're a senior in high school or in college. Yeah. And I see it a lot when I'm interning at uh Westminster on the side. And when they enter their senior year, they are like so frustrated with or they're excited because they're, you know, they're seniors, but then midway through the year, they get agitated because they're like, I'm not supposed to be here anymore. Exactly. My head's in college. I'm ready to be in college, I'm ready to be in the next season. And really, I feel like that's when the waiting starts for people.

SPEAKER_02 15:09

So true.

SPEAKER_03 15:10

The waiting doesn't start when you're excited, like, oh, you know, I'm excited to enter marriage season or a bigger house season or kids season. The waiting starts and the testing starts when you get agitated. And when you're like, it's still happening. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:24

Yeah, you're programmed early on, even you know, wait till you get into your senior year, wait till you get out of here. Oh, you're gonna love it. You're gonna all say it, but we I think we say it to help that person get through their senior year. But now you're programmed to think, oh, what's next is way better than what's now.

SPEAKER_03 15:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:40

And that's not necessarily true.

SPEAKER_03 15:42

Yeah. And I think what's but what's awesome to see is that in their head, and in literally just everything in them, they are ready for the next season. Right. If they were to stay in high school for another year, they would be totally outmatured. Like they they would not be ready for another year of high school. They are ready to go to college. And I think what's amazing about God is that agitation that comes from, I don't want to be in this season anymore, I want to be on to the next. Yeah. I think that's sent by God because He is growing you and uprooting you. And that's why you feel a little bit agitated because you are not supposed to be in the season you are in forever. Right. So he is moving you onto the next, but there is gonna be that feeling of, okay, I don't like this anymore. I'm tired of, you know, being single, I'm tired of not having kids, I'm tired of being this in this small house forever, I'm tired of whatever. But I think God gives that to you so you don't miss the season before. So you remember that agitation and you remember that. But yeah, I always find that interesting when it's like the perfect example when you see seniors in their last year and they get about that midway point and they're like, I'm done, I'm done. I can't even identify with high school anymore.

SPEAKER_02 16:51

No, I know, I know. And I think there's there are is the balance between it is so it's it's beneficial to always be looking forward for what's next in your life because I believe too that God puts in every single human being a desire for more. Yes. We're we should never want to stay right where we are. If we want to stay right where we are, that's complacency and it's a comfort zone that we can get in, and it's it could be detrimental to our lives. So there is a spurring on or a calling for more that comes in all of us. And I think what we do though is if we get out ahead of that and our timing and our expectation, that's where we fall into what I see today is some anxiety. Because one of the reasons we talked about this in the car is that if you don't get your thinking right, if you don't process those waiting seasons right, that it is a season, just like fall, spring, summer, winter, they come and they go. And then the next season comes. Some of the best advice I've ever gotten was from my mother. And she'll still say to these days, Mary, it's just a season. It's just a season. This too shall pass. So when you think, if you start believing this is where I'm at, oh my gosh, how long am I going to be abandoned here? Instead of waiting, I'm exiled. Yeah. You know, I'm stuck on the island of waiting. Well, that's not true. You're just in a season of waiting. Embrace it. And you said something in the car, I wrote it down that I thought was really good. Um that when you are in that season, one of the ways it helps you process it, especially if you're a godly person, is when you pray about that season, you really have to mean it. It's not just lip service. Because when you were going through a season of waiting in your life, you said, um, and I this made me cry. Because family's moving out, people are gonna get departments, you know, your friends are going on. But you made this statement if I have to stay home and take care of my parents for a season, I'll do it because it honors God.

SPEAKER_03 19:01

Yeah. Now you're gonna cry again. No, because I made you cry, Miss Booth. No, no, no. No, no, no. It's there's so many elements to that because sometimes you pray and it is kind of lip service, and you're like, I'm just gonna keep saying it till I mean it, right? Like, I don't, and I'll be, I'm very open with God. I'm like, I I I am how I I have my own relationship with Him. So a lot of times I'll pray and I'm like, I don't know if I mean this, God, but I'm gonna keep saying it till I mean it. And eventually it comes out and I'm like, I mean it. And it feels good to mean that. And so you do have to pray, okay, just keep declaring that over your life. You know, I'll stay in this season as long as you need me to, and not just so you could be sharing your testimony one day and say, Yeah, I prayed this to God. You know, right? Because I feel like we do live in a generation where people do things so their voice can be heard. Yeah, people, every move is intentional because they want to do a podcast, they want to share their testimony, they want to share their story on Instagram. So everything, at least to me, seems like lip service.

SPEAKER_02 20:04

Right.

SPEAKER_03 20:04

So with God, we have to be 100% authentic that even if nobody else hears it, if we never share our story, if we never ever get a chance on a podcast to share our testimony, that that is our ultimate prayer to God. That's right. That it's coming from a deep place, a wholesome place, that even if nobody knows, if it's just between us and God, that you know, we really mean it. Yeah. And it can't just be lip service to God because it doesn't count.

SPEAKER_02 20:29

And you know what? As a parent, when we were raising you guys, lip service didn't work with us either. It never worked. So if you guys, any of you had a bad attitude and you were disjointed about something, we'd send you up to your room to get it right after we'd preached you a sermon. Um, and then when we'd see you come back down, we knew right away your attitude hadn't changed. You were just tired of being in your room. Exactly. And we would be like, No, you're not we're not moving on until you fully exhale and realize that behavior was wrong. Are you ready to receive that that were? And you could tell as a parent when your child goes, Okay, I give, you're right. Yeah, exactly. And it's like a brain thing, it takes some time. And I think I think God works that way with us still. Because here's what happens when we don't release those things, whatever that is we're waiting on and wanting to come through, we really do set ourselves up for discontent. And it's like if I'm waiting in the the doctor's office for um my appointment, and I go to the doctor's office and I'm sitting there and I start getting a bad attitude that I'm having to wait, and I don't like this, and I've got things to do, and why am I waiting here? And why aren't I considered? And all those things start piling up. That's not gonna speed up the doctor. Yeah, he's not gonna come out and go, I am so sorry. He's gonna go, Do you see how many patients I have in this waiting room? I'm sorry you had to wait, but this is a doctor's office. There are emergencies here.

SPEAKER_03 21:55

And also, one thing you always taught us was like, if you're gonna wait in line, put some music. On right and have a good time. Exactly. Which works for your waiting season too. Like have fun. But what I've really implemented is a big pet peeve of mine is when you hear people always complaining about the season they're in, yeah, but they don't consider changing their attitude, right? Changing maybe how they take care of themselves, changing their spiritual walk. That's right. They just assume I'm perfect and only God needs to move. Well, maybe God's not moving because you haven't looked at your heart. You haven't taken a look in the mirror and considered, okay, what are some things about myself that need some changing? That I can change. That I can change. That's right. And there's zero accountability for yourself, and God's just supposed to do the moving. Right. And that was something we talked about in the car. It's like, yeah, if you can tell, you could just feel in the Holy Spirit, okay, I've got a while, I've got to wait, then take a good hard look in the mirror. What are some things I could change about myself? That's it. Can I get closer to God? Yeah. Can I develop, you know, better, a stronger emotional side? There you go. Can I get tougher mentally? Yeah. Can I, you know, take care of myself physically? If you're not putting in that kind of work, I don't understand why we put everything on God to move and we're not doing it moving.

SPEAKER_02 23:11

So well, I love that because what we're basically saying, dad preached a sermon years ago, he needs to preach it again. Exterior, let me get it right. Internal pressure versus external pressure.

SPEAKER_03 23:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:23

And if you're a person that only responds to external pressure, that's not good. You need to grow to be a person that responds to internal pressure. So for instance, when you're in a season of the next thing for you hasn't happened yet, if you are allowing, only allowing the external to navigate your life and to place demands on you, that's not good. There are some external pressures that are good, an accountability partner or the Bible or the Holy Spirit or going to church and hearing a good word. That external pressure is good, but it should then cause you to say, all right, I'm gonna put pressure on myself. Yeah, there needs to be a follow-up with yourself. Absolutely. I'm just not the universe is not gonna dictate what's next for me. You know, I'm not like put my finger to the wind and go, do I, oh, what's happening next? No, I have a lot more power and control than I think I do. And uh and a verse that you you quoted Philippians, one of my favorites is um whatever you can think of that's lovely, that it's a good report, that's of happiness, all of that, all the good stuff, the Bible says, think on these things. You have that power. He's not saying, I'm gonna put lovely things in your thoughts and put butterflies so that you don't have to worry. And you know, you have to have enough internal pressure to say, Yes, I know what's good for me, I'm gonna operate in it. I'm sorry and not just wait for external. Go, go, go.

SPEAKER_03 24:51

And I'm I'm so glad you brought up that verse because you preached a while ago and you said, if you have a waiting season or if you're going through a tough season where you're waiting on a house, and you talked about the miracle of our old house. Yeah. You said, first of all, name it and put a Bible verse to it. That's it. And just declare that Bible verse. Well, I've had that Bible verse, that's been like my number one Bible verse because for me, I'm just like a doomsday thinker. I'm like, nothing's gonna happen. It's all gonna, but that verse, I love it because it does say think on good things, think on whatever's beautiful, whatever is lovely, think on good things. And so that has really helped me. But it is whatever season you're in, it is important to literally cast down thoughts of doubt, to cast down thoughts of, you know, it is never gonna happen to me. So as much as there needs to be, like you said, what is interior, um internal versus external. But internal, what is it? Pressure? Pressure. Internal pressure. You also have to be aware of, okay, if there is negative external pressure that you do see affecting your internal pressure, right? And it's not healthy, like there's a difference between somebody challenging you and somebody literally just bringing you down.

SPEAKER_02 26:00

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 26:01

Um, then I do think cast down those thoughts and do think on whatever's power you do have the power. And that's where I think as somebody learning about, you know, being account who's studying to be counselor and learning about the mental health world, a lot of people just want God to move, yeah, but they don't want to develop the mental strength. So why is God gonna move you into a season of marriage that requires level five or a bigger house which requires level eight mental strength when you can't even get past level three. Yes, you know? So it's like there are levels to life. That's right. That you've gotta, if you can't think on whatever is good, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, you know, that's a step you gotta take. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 26:42

And that gives you control. I mean, I think that's so great that the Bible is so filled with so many verses that literally give you back your power. Yeah, exactly. Everything that's been stolen from you, it gives you back. And and I just want to say this is the last thing I'm gonna say. If you want to say anything else, we're gonna close out the podcast. But the problem with not embracing the season you're in and succumbing to not being an internal where you're putting pressure on yourself. I'm gonna do the right thing, I'm gonna take control of my life, and you're letting external comparisons or pressure. If you don't get that right, what will happen is in that season of your frustration, somebody will come along that isn't right for you. Yes. And they'll put pressure on you. Marry me, come see me, work for me, move, come to you know where I'm at. All these things that might not be, you might not be ready for, but because you you're just tired of the season you're in. You know, there are seasons that these winters last too long, summers last too a little bit too long. But relief always comes and never lasts that much longer than it's supposed to. So I I think that this particular topic today in this podcast is just one of practical um understanding that you do have control of your life. Yeah, that there is no one out there but God dictating, and not even God dictates to you what you have to be. He doesn't put any of us in a box, and we should not allow ourselves, our thinking, the season we in, we're in, or anyone else put us in a box.

SPEAKER_03 28:12

Yeah, absolutely. And we have control over our thoughts, over our emotions, over our actions. And once we conceive that, but also conceive the word and his wisdom, then that's when we're walking in line with his will for our life.

SPEAKER_02 28:25

So and then we're content in every season we're in. So, well, we hope that you've enjoyed this episode. Lauren, it's always great to get in the podcast booth with you.

SPEAKER_01 28:35

It's good to be here. I was getting emotional.

SPEAKER_02 28:37

I know. I I held back, which is a miracle. Well, thank you. We hope you enjoyed it. Have a great day.

SPEAKER_03 28:44

Thanks so much for joining the family business today. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to follow or subscribe, share with a friend, and leave us a review. We appreciate your support and can't wait to have you join us next time. Because family is everybody's business.