How to Handle a Waiting Season (Flashback Episode)

Lauren Alessi [00:00:00]:
Hello, family business podcast Family.

Lauren Alessi [00:00:03]:
I am Lauren Alessi and I have not been on the podcast for a little bit. I'm sorry about that. But I promise I have a good reason because I've been a little bit busy. But please enjoy this kind of Replay podcast from a few seasons back and it's with me and my mom. My mom's interviewing me about how to handle a waiting season, how to handle that kind of in between seasons, waiting for change, waiting for something to happen. And that's kind of why I haven't been on the podcast in a while, because I was in that season for a bit and a lot has changed. I'm married now. I was planning a wedding on a honeymoon, gone for a long time, but now I'm back.

Lauren Alessi [00:00:39]:
Or not a long time, it was actually pretty short. But anyways, now I'm back and I'd love to share my story of how I met my husband and I can't wait to introduce Daniel to the audience and to all of you very, very soon. But. But for now, enjoy this replay and this flashback of a podcast and I hope you enjoy it. Please forgive the fact that it's an old video if I say anything that was crazy. It was a long time ago, so forgive it. And forgive the terrible hair and makeup. I'm sorry, I've come a long way.

Lauren Alessi [00:01:07]:
I'm trying, I'm trying now, but anyways, enjoy the podcast.

Mary Alessi [00:01:21]:
Welcome to another episode of the Family Business with the Alessi's. And I am here again with my daughter, Lauren. Yes, our daughter Lauren. I have to give dad credit or he won't like that. Our daughter, Lauren Alessi, who is. Well, it's great to talk with you in this podcast booth. We always have some very interesting conversations and we're going to talk about one today that I think is going to help a lot of people, whether you're married, single, waiting on something, whatever the situation, whatever season you're in. We're going to talk about a subject that actually you and me were driving to a doctor's office.

Mary Alessi [00:02:00]:
I think we had a you to drive me to the doctor's office and we had a long drive in the car and we just started talking and processing. And through that conversation I started, I grabbed my phone and I started taking notes and I said, we've got to jump in the podcast booth, Lauren, and talk about this. Because this is something that either you've been here, are here, or will be here, and maybe a couple times in your life you might revisit this season and we're really kind of talking about waiting, and everybody associates waiting to singleness, but that's not always the case. There are seasons that, throughout our life where we're gonna have to wait on things. I know for me, I had to wait to have kids, and I've told you guys that story more times than you probably want to hear it, but I had to wait to have kids. I wanted to have kids sooner. I had to wait on that. And the truth of the matter is, I did not handle that waiting season well at all.

Mary Alessi [00:02:58]:
I had a very difficult, very difficult season because I didn't understand why I had to wait. There had to be a reason I was waiting. And so as we were talking about it in the car, you said some really profound things, because you're still young. You're not really in a real waiting. You're kind of somewhere in that, but you're not, like, really waiting. You're enjoying your life. You're single, but you're enjoying that.

Lauren Alessi [00:03:25]:
I'm trying to just enjoy my life.

Mary Alessi [00:03:27]:
And you have two siblings that got married, and you and Gabby are living this single life and enjoying having your freedom. And you have had such a great perspective about that, and I've watched you and Gabby have such a great attitude about it that I have reflected back to my own situation when I was in a waiting season, and I look at you guys and I go, wow, they're so mature. I was not, because I wanted whatever I wanted, and I wanted it now. So kind of talk about that, because what we were saying in the car was a way to get through the waiting is how you spend your time waiting.

Lauren Alessi [00:04:04]:
Yeah. I think being the third child is very helpful at times if you choose to do it wisely, because you kind of get to see two others go before you.

Mary Alessi [00:04:17]:
That's true.

Lauren Alessi [00:04:18]:
And so you get. By the time you're like the fourth child, you get to see three others go before you. But kind of being younger on the totem pole of siblings is super helpful because I've always just been an observer. I've just been someone who watches and listens. So that's been helpful because I just get a of lot. I've gotten to see them, you know, in their singleness, in their married season, in their having kids now season. So. And I know that's to a lot of people, that's just three steps of waiting.

Mary Alessi [00:04:47]:
Right.

Lauren Alessi [00:04:47]:
For Steph, it wasn't waiting. She just, you know, got pregnant, got married.

Mary Alessi [00:04:51]:
She doesn't wait on anything.

Lauren Alessi [00:04:52]:
She doesn't wait on anything. But there is a lot of little details in there, like, okay, you know, waiting to find the right person, and then you find the right person, and then you're waiting for, you know, to actually get married, because now you've got a date, and then you've got to get engaged, and you've got to get actually married. And then now you're waiting on a house. Now you're waiting on the right house. And in this market in the city, that's a lot of faith that you got to have to find the right house. And so it's a lot of little bits of waiting and praying and having faith. So I think being the third sibling, it's kind of just been interesting to watch and learn and observe just to see how they've done it and to see their process through it and also learn from not anything they've done wrong, because the fruit of their life is awesome. You know, it's great.

Mary Alessi [00:05:37]:
Oh, yes.

Lauren Alessi [00:05:38]:
But just to kind of see how I would like to do it. And I think for me, if I get stuck in one place too long, I just get very agitated. So enjoying this place of, okay, you know, I am free to do things. I am free to travel. I am free to enjoy this season. That's. That's a blessing that I have in this waiting. Whatever you want to call it, season.

Mary Alessi [00:05:59]:
So. Right.

Lauren Alessi [00:06:00]:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi [00:06:00]:
You know, I think what I would. And I'm Obviously, I'm not 24. I'm 54. Right. I'm 30 years older than you. I'll just say that. 30 years older. I had.

Mary Alessi [00:06:12]:
I had you when I was 30. And in my mind, I was supposed to have all my kids by the time I was, like, 24. I had it in my head that for some reason, why would I wait to have children? My clock is ticking. And we've been, you know, we've heard that all our lives, that things are supposed to happen this way. There's this pattern that you get out of high school and then you go to college, and you get out of college and you find Mr. Or Mrs. Right, and then you marry them, and then you wait two years, and then two years, oh, that's perfect. And then you have your boy, and then you wait, you know, two years and then you have your girl.

Mary Alessi [00:06:44]:
Then you guys decide if you want to get a house, you get a nice house, you then you decide you want to have more or if you're done. And really, that. Who invented that?

Lauren Alessi [00:06:53]:
Yeah. And I don't know why, but a majority of girls think that way. By 28, I should have all my kids in my generation, too, pushing it like, 28. By 20, all your kids should be born.

Mary Alessi [00:07:04]:
So if that doesn't happen, then the waiting becomes a season of being weary, and we're frustrated because we're having to wait. And there might even be a season where you have to wait for the right job, wait for school. There's things that are happening in school, and something that I admire and I see as a sign of maturity at whatever season or whatever age you're in, is when you can sit back and say, if I'm supposed to be in that season, I would be in that season. Because I've done things right up to this point. I've made practical decisions. I've used wisdom. I've obeyed my parents. I haven't done crazy things.

Mary Alessi [00:07:38]:
I've not spent lots of money. I don't have $50,000 in credit card, loan, you know, debt, bills, and debt. I've done things well. If I was supposed to be in that season, I would be in it. And I think that's a sign of maturity when you could say, hold on, I want to enjoy the season I'm in. Because I know for me, Lauren, one of the things that. And it's a character flaw. It is not a personality trait.

Mary Alessi [00:08:03]:
It is a character flaw to not be satisfied where you are and always want to be somewhere else. That is not healthy. No, it's not healthy because you'll get married to the love of your life and look at that person and go, ooh, what if it was better with someone else? You know, I waited to get married, and now I'm looking at you. And now we've been married three or four years, and I'm just being honest. Okay, this happens. These are the things people think. We all think, now I look better than I did in my 20s. What if I had waited? Would I have gotten a better spouse? That sounds really awful and cruel.

Mary Alessi [00:08:34]:
I'm not saying I looked at your father, but I would.

Lauren Alessi [00:08:38]:
You've heard or seen people with that.

Mary Alessi [00:08:40]:
But I know that we all have the propensity to do. I'm. I'm a better version of myself now. Would I have made different decisions? Yeah, because now I'm healthier and I'm stronger and I'm. I'm more mature. But I had to have it back then. So when you rush a season, it can create a sense of real insecurity in the future that you did not see coming, because you just have to have what you want right now. Oh, and God forbid the village around you, the people around you are all getting married or have kids.

Mary Alessi [00:09:07]:
Yeah, well that's a mistake for you to dive into something that you're not ready for. And it's a sign of immaturity. But when you can look at your life and go, okay, all my friends are married and they're all having kids and I'm not there yet and that's okay. Or all my friends have graduated and they're in these full time careers.

Lauren Alessi [00:09:27]:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi [00:09:28]:
And I'm not there yet. I'm still working at, you know, two jobs, but I have dreams, I have

Lauren Alessi [00:09:35]:
goals, or even like all my friends, because I see this happening with some friends who are married having kids. All my friends live in really nice houses. You know, they're making a good amount of money. I can't get a raise. I've been at the same job for how long? I can't get a good paying amount of money at my job. Like I've just been stuck here. I can't do anything. No good job opportunities are coming up and so that's a very big one too.

Lauren Alessi [00:10:01]:
It's just like you're stuck financially, you're stuck career wise and everybody else is moving on up and you're just stuck.

Mary Alessi [00:10:08]:
They're moving up and you're stuck. But I think I go back to a sign of real sense of worth and maturity is when you stop and you look at where you are and you start counting your blessings and you realize, I think I might have it better than they have it because they've already got a lot of pressure, a lot of burdens, a lot of responsibility. I'm not in their shoes just yet. One day I will be and I'll have all that load financially and expectation. Why am I squandering a season of freedom or a season where I could contribute, give back, sow into other people. There's so much that the season, first of all, of being single, how you can add value to your society, add. And there's as much if not more than when you're married and you don't have kids yet. So I'll tell you perfect example.

Mary Alessi [00:11:05]:
The four years that I tried to have children and couldn't have kids, which seemed like an eternity back then. I look back and I have friends that waited 10, 15 years to have kids. So I don't even like to tell my story, cause it sounds like I'm a whiner. But one of the things I learned after like the first year and a half I had A friend of mine look at me and say, well, it's not going to happen for you because you're all locked up. You're so filled with anxiety and what you should do. And she was my one friend that wasn't like a Christian. In my mind, she wasn't Christian. She had the best advice.

Lauren Alessi [00:11:41]:
In my mind, she wasn't a Christian.

Mary Alessi [00:11:43]:
She was really a Christian because I was just so religious back then. But she said, what you and your husband need to do is you need to go away to an island and spend the weekend together and have a glass of wine. And I remember thinking, oh, my God, she's such a sinner. She just told me to have a glass of wine. I didn't even wanna tell my mom. Meanwhile, I look back and I'm like, that was the best advice. Take a chill pill. You know, relax.

Mary Alessi [00:12:09]:
You're not gonna go to hell if you have a glass of wine and you relax. As a matter of fact, God's probably looking down on you going, finally, will you relax?

Lauren Alessi [00:12:16]:
A glass of wine.

Mary Alessi [00:12:17]:
You won't listen to me.

Lauren Alessi [00:12:19]:
Well, and I think we throw around this word a lot in today's culture, but that is literally how anxiety is created. Because fear is like, okay, you're just scared of something. Anxiety is when you are living in the future or you're afraid of something that has not happened yet and it is not possible to happen yet. You know, So a lot of people are living in the future, are living in six months from now. And I remember you telling me this. You're like, Lauren, you're worried about something six months or a year from now, and. And you're living in that time and you are living in today. And you need to realize that you cannot make decisions based on six months from now.

Lauren Alessi [00:12:55]:
You have to live today. That's right. And so I think you were talking a lot about, you know, just being content where you're at. And I'll never forget, I think it is the famous verse in the Bible, Philippians 3:14. Forgive me, I'm terrible at quoting Scripture. I read my Bible and I know all the time, but it's like movies. I can watch the movie over and over again, but I can never quote it. That's how I am.

Lauren Alessi [00:13:16]:
But it says whatsoever. For I can do all things. Which one is that? I can do all things to Christ who strengthens me. Yeah, that's Philippians.

Mary Alessi [00:13:25]:
Yeah, but it's not four, eight.

Lauren Alessi [00:13:27]:
What is it? Okay, we got. We're all on the same page.

Mary Alessi [00:13:31]:
Write to us and Tell us the right scripture. We would love for you to put that in the chat.

Lauren Alessi [00:13:34]:
Or three. Something like. Okay, that's the famous verse.

Mary Alessi [00:13:37]:
Yep. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Strengthens me, yes.

Lauren Alessi [00:13:40]:
Right before that, Paul is talking about contentment.

Mary Alessi [00:13:43]:
Yeah.

Lauren Alessi [00:13:44]:
And that always struck me because I was reading that at a time where I was like, I hate where I'm at. I just want to. I was getting agitated. It wasn't so much like, oh, I'm so sad, but I was bored, you know, I was like, I wanted to do something. I want to do something different. And when I read that, I was like, okay. I felt like I could relate to him in that moment. It was like, that's where I could do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Lauren Alessi [00:14:06]:
It's not something, you know, that requires so much faith that I can move a mountain. It's literally, I can stay right here for this next week, and I don't need anything to move in my life. I can live my life the same. I don't need God to do a move right now. I can be content.

Mary Alessi [00:14:21]:
Yes.

Lauren Alessi [00:14:21]:
And I feel like that is such a great illustration for people who are waiting, because that verse, like, oh, I can do all things who strengthens me. I can lift this rock. I can do this. You know, I can heal somebody. But he was talking about contentment and being content where you're at. And so I just loved that verse. And I. I think a lot about.

Lauren Alessi [00:14:41]:
When you're a senior in high school or in college. Yeah. And I see it a lot when I'm interning at Westminster on the side. And when they enter their senior year, they are, like, so frustrated with. Or they're excited because they're, you know, they're seniors. But then midway through the year, they get agitated because they're like, I'm not supposed to be here anymore. Exactly. My head's in college.

Lauren Alessi [00:15:03]:
I'm ready to be in college. I'm ready to be in the next season.

Mary Alessi [00:15:06]:
And.

Lauren Alessi [00:15:06]:
And really, I feel like that's when the waiting starts for people.

Mary Alessi [00:15:09]:
So true.

Lauren Alessi [00:15:10]:
The waiting doesn't start when you're excited, like, oh, you know, I'm excited to enter marriage season or a bigger house season or kids season. The waiting starts and the testing starts when you get agitated, when you're like, you're almost. Yeah.

Mary Alessi [00:15:24]:
You're programmed early on even, you know, wait till you get in your senior year. Once you get out of here. Oh, you're going to love it.

Lauren Alessi [00:15:30]:
You're going to love it.

Mary Alessi [00:15:31]:
We all say it, but we, I think we say it to help that person get through their senior year. But now you're programmed to think, oh, what's next is way better than what's now.

Lauren Alessi [00:15:40]:
Yeah.

Mary Alessi [00:15:40]:
And that's not necessarily true.

Lauren Alessi [00:15:42]:
Yeah. And I think what's. But what's awesome to see is that in their head and in literally just everything in them, they are ready for the next season.

Mary Alessi [00:15:50]:
Right.

Lauren Alessi [00:15:51]:
If they were to stay in high school for another year.

Mary Alessi [00:15:53]:
Oh, my gosh, yeah.

Lauren Alessi [00:15:54]:
They would be totally out matured. Like, they. They would not be ready for another year of high school. They are ready to go to college. And I think what's amazing about God is that agitation that comes from. I don't want to be in this season anymore. I want to be on to the next. I think that's sent by God because he is growing you and uprooting you.

Lauren Alessi [00:16:12]:
And that's why you feel a little bit agitated, because you are not supposed to be in the season. You are in forever.

Mary Alessi [00:16:18]:
Right.

Lauren Alessi [00:16:18]:
So he is moving you onto the next. But there is going to be that feeling of, okay, I don't like this anymore. I'm tired of, you know, being single. I'm tired of not having kids. I'm tired of being this. In this small house forever. I'm tired of whatever. But I think God gives that to you so you don't miss the season before.

Lauren Alessi [00:16:37]:
So you remember that agitation and you remember that. But yeah, I always find that interesting when it's like the perfect example when you see seniors in their last year and they get about that midway point and they're like, I'm done, I'm done. I can't even identify with high school anymore.

Mary Alessi [00:16:51]:
No, I know, I know. And I think there's. There is the balance between. It is. So it's beneficial to always be looking forward for what's next in your life. Because I believe too that God puts in every single human being a desire for more. We should never wanna stay right where we are. If we wanna stay right where we are, that's complacency.

Mary Alessi [00:17:16]:
And it's a comfort zone that we can get in and it could be detrimental to our lives. So there is a spurring on or a calling for more that comes in all. And I think what we do, though, is if we get out ahead of that and our timing and our expectation, that's where we fall into. What I see today is some anxiety because one of the reasons we talked about this in the car is that if you don't get your Thinking, right. If you don't process those waiting seasons. Right. That it is a season. Just like fall, spring, summer, winter, they come and they go, and then the next season comes.

Mary Alessi [00:17:53]:
Some of the best advice I've ever gotten was from my mother. And she'll still say to these days, Mary, it's just a season. It's just a season. This too shall pass. So when you think, if you start believing, this is where I'm at. Oh, my gosh, how long am I going to be abandoned here? Instead of waiting, I'm exiled, you know, I'm stuck on the island of waiting. Well, that's not true. You're just in a season of waiting.

Mary Alessi [00:18:20]:
Embrace it. And you said something in the car. I wrote it down that I thought was really good. That when you are in that season, one of the ways it helps you process it, especially if you're a godly person, is when you pray about that season. You really have to mean it. It's not just lip service. Because when you were going through a season of waiting in your life, you said, and this made me cry. Cause family's moving out, people are getting apartments.

Mary Alessi [00:18:52]:
You know, your friends are going on. But you made this statement, if I have to stay home and take care of my parents for a season, I'll do it because it honors God. Yeah, now you're gonna cry again.

Lauren Alessi [00:19:03]:
No. Cause I made you cry this boot. No, no, no, no, no, no. It's. There's so many elements to that, because sometimes you pray and it is kind of lip service. And you're like, I'm just gonna keep saying, right? Like, I don't. And I'll be. I'm very open with God.

Lauren Alessi [00:19:21]:
Like I am how I have my own relationship with him. So a lot of times I'll pray. And I'm like, I don't know if I mean this, God, but I'm gonna keep saying it till I mean it. And eventually it comes out, and I'm like, I mean it. And it feels good to mean that. And so you do have to pray. Okay, Just keep declaring that over your life. You know, I'll stay in this season as long as you need me to.

Lauren Alessi [00:19:42]:
And not just so you could be sharing your testimony one day and say, yeah, I prayed this to God. Because I feel like we do live in a generation where people do things so their voice can be heard.

Mary Alessi [00:19:53]:
Yeah.

Lauren Alessi [00:19:54]:
People, every move is intentional because they want to do a podcast. They want to share their testimony, they want to share their story on Instagram. So everything, at least to Me. Seems like lip service, right? So with God, we have to be 100% authentic that even if nobody else hears it, if we never share our story, if we never, ever get a chance on a podcast to share our testimony, that that is our ultimate prayer today.

Mary Alessi [00:20:17]:
That's right.

Lauren Alessi [00:20:18]:
That it's coming from a deep place, a wholesome place, that even if nobody knows, if it's just between us and God, that, you know, we really mean it, and it can't just be lip service to God, because it doesn't count.

Mary Alessi [00:20:29]:
And you know what? As a parent, when we were raising you guys, lip service didn't work with us either.

Lauren Alessi [00:20:35]:
Never worked.

Mary Alessi [00:20:36]:
So if you guys, any of you, had a bad attitude and you were disjointed about something, we'd send you up to your room to get it right after we preached you a sermon. And then when we'd see you come back down, we knew right away your attitude hadn't changed. You were just tired of being in your room.

Lauren Alessi [00:20:49]:
Exactly.

Mary Alessi [00:20:50]:
And we would be like, no, you're not. We're not moving on until you fully exhale and realize that behavior was wrong. Are you ready to receive that? That. And you could tell as a parent when your child goes, okay, I give. You're right.

Lauren Alessi [00:21:05]:
I'm good. Yeah, exactly.

Mary Alessi [00:21:06]:
And it's like a brain thing. It takes some time. And I think God works that way with us still. Because here's what happens when we don't release those things, whatever that is we're waiting on and wanting to come through. We really do set ourselves up for discontent. And it's like if I'm waiting in the doctor's office for my appointment, and I go to the doctor's office and I'm sitting there and I start getting a bad attitude that I'm having to wait, and I don't like this, and I've got things to do, and why am I waiting here? And why aren't I considered? And all those things start piling up. That's not going to speed up. The doctor, he's not going to come out and go, I am so sorry.

Mary Alessi [00:21:48]:
He's going to go, do you see how many patients I have in this waiting room? I'm sorry you had to wait, but this is a doctor's office. There are emergencies here.

Lauren Alessi [00:21:55]:
And also, one thing you always taught us was, like, if you're gonna wait in line, put some music on. Right. And have a good time.

Mary Alessi [00:22:01]:
Exactly.

Lauren Alessi [00:22:02]:
Which works for your waiting season, too. Like, have fun. But what I've really implemented is a Big pet peeve of mine is when you hear people always complaining about the season they're in, but they don't consider changing their attitude changing. Maybe how they take care of themselves, changing their spiritual walk. They just assume I'm perfect and only God needs to move. Well, maybe God's not moving because you haven't looked at your heart. You haven't taken a look in the mirror and considered, okay, what are some things about myself that need some changing?

Mary Alessi [00:22:34]:
That I can change, that I can change.

Lauren Alessi [00:22:35]:
That's right. And there's zero accountability for yourself. And God's just supposed to do the moving.

Mary Alessi [00:22:40]:
Right.

Lauren Alessi [00:22:41]:
And that was something we talked about in the car, is like, if you can tell, you could just feel in the Holy Spirit, okay, I've got a while, I've got to wait. Then take a good hard look in the mirror. What are some things I could change about myself? That's it. Can I get closer to God? Can I develop, you know, better a stronger emotional side? Can I get tougher mentally? Can I, you know, take care of myself physically? If you're not putting in that kind of work, I, I don't understand why we put everything on God to move and we're not doing any moving so well.

Mary Alessi [00:23:11]:
I love that because what we're basically saying, dad preached a sermon years ago, he needs to preach it again. Exterior. Let me get it right. Internal pressure versus external pressure. And if you're a person that only responds to external pressure, that's not good. You need to grow to be a person that responds to internal pressure. So for instance, when you're in a season of the next thing for you hasn't happened yet. If you are allowing only allowing the external to navigate your life and to place demands on you, that's not good.

Mary Alessi [00:23:48]:
There are some external pressures that are good. Accountability, partner, or the Bible or the Holy Spirit or going to church and hearing a good word that external pressure is good, but it should then cause you to say, all right, I'm gonna put pressure on myself.

Lauren Alessi [00:24:04]:
Yeah, there needs to be a follow up with yourself. Absolutely.

Mary Alessi [00:24:06]:
I'm just not. The universe is not gonna dictate what's next for me. You know, I'm not gonna put my finger to the wind and go, do I, oh, what's happening next? No, I have a lot more power and control than I think I do. And a verse that you quoted, Philippians, one of my favorites, is whatever you can think of. That's lovely that it's a good report. That's of happiness. All of that all the good stuff. The Bible says, think on these things.

Mary Alessi [00:24:35]:
You have that power. He's not saying, I'm gonna put lovely things in your thoughts and put butterflies so that you don't have to worry. No. You have to have enough internal pressure to say, I know what's good for me. I'm going to operate in it.

Lauren Alessi [00:24:49]:
I'm sorry.

Mary Alessi [00:24:49]:
And not just wait for external. Go, go, go.

Lauren Alessi [00:24:51]:
And I'm so glad you brought up that verse because you preached a while ago and you said, if you have a waiting season or if you're going through a tough season where you're waiting on a house. And you talked about the miracle of our old house.

Mary Alessi [00:25:01]:
Yeah.

Lauren Alessi [00:25:02]:
You said, first of all, name it and put a Bible verse to it.

Mary Alessi [00:25:05]:
That's it.

Lauren Alessi [00:25:05]:
And just declare that Bible verse. Well, I've had that Bible verse that's been like my number one Bible verse. Because for me, I'm just like a doomsday thinker. Nothing's gonna happen. It's all gonna. But that verse, I love it. Cause it does say, think on good things. Think on whatever's beautiful, whatever is lovely.

Lauren Alessi [00:25:23]:
Think on good things. And so that has really helped me. But it is, whatever season you're in, it is important to literally cast down thoughts of doubt. To cast down thoughts of, you know, it is never gonna happen to me. So as much as there needs to be, like you said, interior, internal versus external. But internal. What is it?

Mary Alessi [00:25:44]:
Pressure, pressure.

Lauren Alessi [00:25:45]:
Internal pressure, you also have to be aware of. Okay, if there is negative external pressure that you do see affecting your internal pressure, and it's not healthy. Like there's a difference between somebody challenging you and somebody literally just bringing you down.

Mary Alessi [00:26:00]:
Yes.

Lauren Alessi [00:26:02]:
Then I do think, cast down those thoughts and do through whatever's in power. You do have the power. And that's where I think, as somebody learning about, you know, being a counselor who's studying to be counselor and learning about the mental health world, a lot of people just want God to move, but they don't want to develop the mental strength. So why is God going to move you into a season of marriage that requires level five or a bigger house, which requires level eight mental strength when you can't even get past level three. Yes. You know, so it's like there are levels to life.

Mary Alessi [00:26:34]:
That's right.

Lauren Alessi [00:26:35]:
That you've got to. If you can't think on whatever. Whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, you know, that's a step you gotta take,

Mary Alessi [00:26:41]:
you know, and that gives you control. I mean, I think that's so great. That the Bible is so filled with so many verses that literally give you back your power.

Lauren Alessi [00:26:48]:
Yeah, exactly.

Mary Alessi [00:26:49]:
Everything that's been stolen from you, it gives you back. And I just want to say this is the last thing I'm going to say. If you want to say anything else, we're going to close out the podcast. But the problem with not embracing the season you're in and succumbing to not being an internal, where you're putting pressure on yourself, I'm gonna do the right thing. I'm gonna take control of my life. And you're letting external comparisons or pressure. If you don't get that right, what will happen is in that season of your frustration, somebody will come along that isn't right for you and they'll put pressure on you. Marry me, come see me, work for me, move.

Mary Alessi [00:27:24]:
Come to, you know, where I'm at. All these things that might not be, you might not be ready for, but because you're just tired of the season you're in. You know, there are seasons that these winters last too long, summers last a little bit too long, but relief always comes. It never lasts that much longer than it's supposed to. So I think that this particular topic today in this podcast is just one of practical understanding that you do have control of your life, that there is no one out there but God dictating. And not even God dictates to you what you have to be. He doesn't put any of us in a box. And we should not allow ourselves, our thinking this season.

Mary Alessi [00:28:10]:
We in. We're in. Or anyone else. Put us in a box.

Lauren Alessi [00:28:12]:
Yeah, absolutely. And we have control over our thoughts, over our emotions, over our actions. And once we conceive that, but also conceive the Word and his wisdom, then that's when we're walking in line with his will for our life and then

Mary Alessi [00:28:26]:
working content in every season we're in. So. Well, we hope that you enjoyed this episode, Lauren. It's always great to get in the podcast booth with you.

Lauren Alessi [00:28:35]:
It's good to be here. It's emotional.

Mary Alessi [00:28:37]:
I know I. I held back, which is a miracle. Well, thank you. We hope you enjoyed it. Have a great day.

Lauren Alessi [00:28:44]:
Thanks so much for joining the family business today. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to follow or subscribe, share it with a friend and leave us a review. We appreciate your support and can't wait to have you join us next time because family is everybody's business.