June 23, 2021

How to Love People (With Problems!) w/ Steve Alessi and Gaby Alessi | S1 E9

In Episode 9 of Season 1: Being before Doing, Steve Alessi talks with his youngest daughter Gabrielle, and they unpack her unique perspective as she grew up watching her family process the trials and struggles of relationships both at work and in the home.


How do you teach your child to love what you do - even when it means dealing with difficult people?

In every home and workplace, dealing with people means we have to deal with their problems - and this is especially true in the Alessi family, whose business is ministry.

 

In Episode 9 of Season 1: Being before Doing, Steve Alessi talks with the youngest of the Alessi children, Gabrielle, and they unpack her unique perspective as she grew up watching her family process the trials and struggles of relationships both at work and in the home.

Together they reveal how loving and caring for people - even when it's difficult  -  can make a huge impact on your family.

Key Takeaways from This Podcast Episode

Don't forget to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE to our channel! 

https://www.youtube.com/c/SteveAlessi

Join our family business every week as we talk about life, and help you build a great future with your family, no matter what business you are in. New episodes are uploaded every Wednesday! 

Listen to the audio version of our podcast on your favorite app:

 

⬇️ Pick your favorite listening app

🎧 Listen to 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗿𝗲 𝗲𝗽𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗱𝗲

✔️ Hit Subscribe or Follow 

👉 Rate 5 stars 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

✏️ Leave us an honest review

 

• 𝗔𝗽𝗽𝗹𝗲 (https://apple.co/35ynlkt)

• 𝗦𝗽𝗼𝘁𝗶𝗳𝘆 (https://spoti.fi/3vuxA40)

Amazon (https://amzn.to/3iL5vmh)

iHeart Radio (https://ihr.fm/3q4ov0A)

• 𝗚𝗼𝗼𝗴𝗹𝗲 (https://bit.ly/3q6QkFr)

 

To learn more about Metro Life Church:

https://metrolifechurch.com

 

Get your copy of Chris Alessi's book for next generation leaders, "Up Next"

http://chrisalessi.com

 

Follow Us on Instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/steve_alessi/

https://www.instagram.com/maryalessi

 

Follow The Family Business on Facebook

https://facebook.com/metrolifechurch

https://www.facebook.com/Steve-Alessi...

https://www.facebook.com/MaryAlessiMusic

 

 

 

 

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

#familybusiness #christianliving #familyfriendlypodcasts .

Transcript

Steve Alessi  0:09  
Welcome to another episode of The Family Business podcast because let's face it, family is everybody's business. And today we're going to be talking with, of all people, Gabrielle Alessi, and we're going to be talking about things here in our family business podcast studio... 

Gabrielle Alessi  0:32  
Yeah.

Steve Alessi  0:32  
.... that we cannot talk about on Sunday, Gabby? Yeah.

Gabrielle Alessi  0:36  
Yes. 

Steve Alessi  0:36  
Because I'm not sure people can handle all this information you're going to be sharing. 

Gabrielle Alessi  0:40  
It's too much business, dad. 

Steve Alessi  0:41  
 Too much for just one Sunday. We have Jon Roman that's in the studio. And he may just say something on the mic. And then Ashlie's helping us, behind the camera, so I hope you're ready for this.

Gabrielle Alessi  0:54  
I'm excited. 

Steve Alessi  0:55  
Are you really?

Gabrielle Alessi  0:55  
 I am. I have two things to tell you about the young generation, what they call this thing now.

Steve Alessi  1:00  
Oh, what do they call it?

Gabrielle Alessi  1:00  
They call this we're in the Stu...

Steve Alessi  1:03  
in the Stu...

Gabrielle Alessi  1:04  
 and we're recording a pod. So, just felt like you should know, if you wanna get your audience to watch in the stu, recording a pod.

Steve Alessi  1:12  
In the stu...

Gabrielle Alessi  1:12  
 Yes.

Steve Alessi  1:13  
And we're recording...

It sounds like you're in a bathroom, but...

In the pod, and we're recording a stu... I got it. Well, if you're watching via video, you can see a beautiful family photo of the whole clan... There we go. The whole clan with the family business and all the way to your left,

Gabrielle Alessi  1:38  
 Yes. 

Steve Alessi  1:39  
...is Gabrielle, she's the little one that's off to the side. The only other one we haven't talked to yet is the one next to you, Lauren. But here we are Gaby. In the stu...

...in a stu...recording a pod 

recording a pod. I love it. So here's here's what you're doing today. You're our youngest child at 21. The truth is, I think you were born 21 years of age, because you were always very advanced and mature for your age. You were almost a millenum baby. 

Gabrielle Alessi  2:20  
Yes, I was. 

Steve Alessi  2:21  
Yeah.

Gabrielle Alessi  2:21  
I was one day away from you getting money.

Steve Alessi  2:24  
Some kind of money or at least recognition.

Gabrielle Alessi  2:26  
Or like an iPad nowdays. 

Steve Alessi  2:27  
Yes. December the 30th. Not the 31st. Not midnight. And your mom had you. And we immediately went out to a church event the next day, because it was...

Gabrielle Alessi  2:37  
I thought it was a family event. Whatever...

Steve Alessi  2:39  
 family church event...

Gabrielle Alessi  2:39  
I was there, I remember because I was a day old, I know.

Steve Alessi  2:42  
Yes, you were there. So, but now 21 years later, you are serving as people see you most of the time in praise and worship.

Gabrielle Alessi  2:53  
 Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  2:53  
As you're part of the leadership there. And then in our business, you're also taking care of the youth ministry...

Yes. 

...where about a year and a half ago, you stepped in to help take the leadership from that ministry and you're working through COVID. You were in place with COVID, you did a great job keeping those young people together. We've got the video of you having your first zoom party and you're dancing in your office. It was great. It was great. And they were engaged with you and the parents were very appreciative, Gabs, that you kept it up and running during COVID. So you did a great job, job navigating... 

Gabrielle Alessi  3:37  
Thank you.

Steve Alessi  3:38  
 ...the youth through COVID. So how you feeling today?

Unknown Speaker  3:43  
I feel great. Yeah, I feel great. I feel great, because now we're past COVID. And as at least a ministry and we're in the middle of figuring out how to do life now with it around. And the youth is just really, it's getting to a really good place where the kids are. They're amazing kids, and they want this so bad. .

Steve Alessi  4:03  
Yeah. And there's a... there's something that's magnetic about you, Gabs. And I think it really is the touch of God on your life. But it's bringing even some great parent leadership around you, that come alongside of you and serve in that area of ministry, that allows us to feel real secure, because you're not doing this alone as a 21 year old. 

Gabrielle Alessi  4:28  
No. 

Steve Alessi  4:29  
You have some great people that are around you that can also speak into your life and speak to the young people's lives to help them, so that's a it's a real plus to what we do as a church, because you're helping. But here's what people want to know. It's like a guy came up to me over the weekend. And I met him for the first time. I know his kids because his kids come around, and he's from Georgia. So he comes over and the first thing out of his mouth was "Wow. Your family is so involved, your kids are involved in the ministry. You must be so proud." And I am, Mom is. But here's what people always ask him. How did you guys do it? 

Gabrielle Alessi  5:17  
Yeah.

Steve Alessi  5:18  
 You know?

Gabrielle Alessi  5:19  
 I asked that question. 

Steve Alessi  5:22  
So let's go back to the early years. What was it like, in the home? Before we get to church before you get involved in church, want to be a part of church? 

Gabrielle Alessi  5:35  
Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  5:36  
Okay? What was going on in the home at an early age that made you want to get involved, that's going to help other people say, Alright, this is how I can help set the atmosphere of my home, so my kids will follow my footsteps.

Gabrielle Alessi  5:51  
Yeah, well, I think first, everything we did was church. Every conversation, every event, we went to, every person that came over, everybody, everything was linked to church. And that was a big deal for us. And number one, yes, because that was our our living. That's what we did. That was our call. That was not just you and mom's call. It was... because it was y'alls, it was ours, too, and we took that on as kids. But everything, I mean, even at school, I was talking about church. And

Steve Alessi  6:20  
 yeah,

Gabrielle Alessi  6:20  
 it just, it followed us everywhere. So it was really in our bones as a kid. But I remember we would sit around the dining room table for dinner. And it was a special time that we would all come home and you guys would come home from work. And we'd come from home from school, and we'd be having dinner together and you go down the list of what your day was like. And almost every conversation was about church. 

Steve Alessi  6:42  
Yeah.

Gabrielle Alessi  6:43  
 And some of the conversations were tough conversations about decision making. But every conversation was, this is what God is doing in our church. And this is what God is doing through us. And this is where God is taking our church. And what I loved about it was our family, to this day, we're doing that. But even when we were young, I mean, when I was like eight years old, and then Chris at that time was probably... I'm not going to do the math right now. Maybe 16, I think. And so from that age range, all of us were in different ministries, even at that age. And Chris was helping in the youth at that time. And Steph was a part of the youth. And I think Lauren, and I were in children's ministry, and I always just thought I had a job. I mean, remember, I wanted to be the coffee girl when I was 13? I wrote him a resume to be the coffee girl. You remember the list or the letter?

Stephanie Alessi  7:27  
 Yeah. 

Gabrielle Alessi  7:28  
So I always wanted a part. So even in the children's ministry, I would, we'd all have come together with what we thought of church that day. So like on a Sunday for lunch, we'd all come together with what we experienced. And I always just wanted to be a part of the conversation. And not because I felt left out, but because it was just so exciting. And it was so fruit-bearing and I could see the passion in you and mom, and I could see the passion even as Chris was growing up, I saw it in him. And I remember sitting at the table as the youngest thinking, "Oh, I want this." I want that same excitement that all of them have for the church. I want to be able to add to the conversation. I'm a talker, you know. I wanted to be able to....

Steve Alessi  8:09  
Really? 

Gabrielle Alessi  8:09  
 I know right? I wanted to be able to add even my own input from the ministries that I work in, or I experience. Even the children's ministry, they would say worship was great today, Dad. Mom would say, Oh, yeah, your sermon was great. And I'd say well, the nursery did amazing. It's  because I wanted... I wanted to be a part of it. But it all started at that dinner table experience, because we just discussed it so much.

Steve Alessi  8:34  
Did you ever feel like this is mom and dad's ministry? Or did you always feel like it was our ministry?

Gabrielle Alessi  8:42  
It was always ours.

Steve Alessi  8:43  
 Yeah. 

Gabrielle Alessi  8:44  
Number one, you and mom were very intentional with making it that. You never wanted it to be the parents, and then those are the kids. And you never gave us too much. You never spoiled us with... you never gave us titles we didn't deserve. You never gave us jobs that we didn't deserve. You always...you both always had us  earn those titles and those responsibilities. But when it came to the calling, and the vision and the path and where we're heading, it was always the six of us are going there. And you trusted that at our appointed time that God would call us out for that ministry and for this ministry. And we always just went along, and that's where even all those years of pastors appreciation, the church made it a point that they honored you and mom, but they always honored us. I mean, there's photos of us as kids in the old building. And we're opening gifts of like Barbies on stage in front of everybody because the church would not only honor you guys, but would honor us for for leading. And you always involved this, even building projects. Anything that... any vision that the Lord showed you and mom and the vision that you're going to take the church, you always shared it with us before you shared it with the church. 

Steve Alessi  10:01  
Yeah. 

Gabrielle Alessi  10:01  
And you always brought us in. And that's just what I loved about it. To this day, he does that. Like to this day you share it with us as a family. And then you take it to our church people.

Steve Alessi  10:10  
You remember the show, we were watching Yellowstone, we loved Yellowstone, right? Of course, Kevin Costner is the head of this big empire of his land, and all that goes into it.

Gabrielle Alessi  10:23  
And the cattle and all that. 

Steve Alessi  10:24  
And there was one episode where he was being recognized and honored at an event. And he's dressed in his tuxedo with his black cowboy hat on. And he's there being, you know, toasted and honored for what he did. And he takes the honor. And then he goes back to his seat, and he sits down, and he's by himself. 

Gabrielle Alessi  10:49  
Wow.

Steve Alessi  10:50  
 And you remember that episode, none of his family showed up to be a part of it. They all had their own drama. They all had their own thing. And he's looking around the table. And everybody's talking to one another. And he's looking and feeling like, Man, this is... it's nice to be honored and recognized. But this is really empty without my family around me.

Gabrielle Alessi  11:13  
Yeah.

Steve Alessi  11:13  
 And Gabs, I can tell you from day one. I knew that this could not just be dad's thing. Yeah.

This could not be an event where dad would be honored or just where mom would be honored.

Gabrielle Alessi  11:25  
 Yeah.

Steve Alessi  11:26  
 This had to be our family. I just don't know what is more fulfilling and rewarding than having the family being honored or recognized, or just a part of something that brings so much fulfillment to our life. And I would say as a father and minister, Pastor. I'm, I'm totally fulfilled in what I do. Why wouldn't I want that for you? 

Gabrielle Alessi  12:02  
Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  12:03  
If it fulfills me, How much more will it fulfill Mom, Chris, Steph, Lauren, and you? I knew it would. I know it is, that's the ministry. That's our business that we're called to. 

Gabrielle Alessi  12:17  
Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  12:18  
And how unique is it? So it's pretty... It's... it should be pretty intentional that we have to make the family feel a part of what we're doing. Because it can't be dad's thing. Can't just be mom's thing. It has to be our thing. 

Gabrielle Alessi  12:40  
Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  12:40  
The family's. 

Gabrielle Alessi  12:41  
And it has to start when they're young. 

Steve Alessi  12:43  
Yeah. 

Gabrielle Alessi  12:43  
And not when they're just teenagers. I think that was...quickly, that was the thing that really got us. It wasn't, it was dad's thing up until he started to notice that we had it in us. And then he used us. You prayed, and you and mom prayed and believed, that this is what... what is in us is in our children. Just like your blood is my blood. You believe the anointing that you had and the passion and the... the call of God, your children had that too. So when we were kids, you you raised us in that.

Steve Alessi  13:15  
Yeah. And some people don't think that way. 

Gabrielle Alessi  13:16  
No.

Steve Alessi  13:17  
It's... they live these separate lives. And it's either a job or a career, and then there's home. We have to, if we want our kids to follow in any example that we want to set before them, okay? If we want them to follow in it, it's got to be a healthy example. 

Gabrielle Alessi  13:34  
Yes. 

Steve Alessi  13:34  
And then you need to invite them in. If we don't invite them in, then other people are going to invite them into their world. 

Gabrielle Alessi  13:41  
Yes.

Steve Alessi  13:42  
 And if you're talented and you're gifted, I just know this. I want you to be on my team. 

Gabrielle Alessi  13:48  
Yeah.

Steve Alessi  13:49  
 In our ministry, where we're giving our life to and sacrificing. Why would I want somebody else to hire you away 

Gabrielle Alessi  13:56  
Yep.

Steve Alessi  13:57  
 So I wouldn't want that. I want you to use your gifts and talents to be able to bless and build and complement what we're building, which then meant when we were around those tables, okay? There were things we could share with you. But there's also things we couldn't share with you. 

Gabrielle Alessi  14:15  
Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  14:16  
We had to talk more about the wins. W-I-N-S, not the losses. 

Gabrielle Alessi  14:23  
Yeah.

Steve Alessi  14:23  
 Because we had some downtimes and we had some losses and we went through some hard times. But how often do you remember us ever talking about those things, Gaby?

Gabrielle Alessi  14:32  
the hard times or the good times? 

Steve Alessi  14:33  
The hard times. 

Gabrielle Alessi  14:34  
 Oh my gosh, I... if I took away anything from the hard times, it was never what it was about. It was never how we all spoke. It was how you guys handled those times. That's what I remember. I don't... I cannot tell you when... when or what happened at that time. But I can say, Okay, I don't really know how or who's involved. But I remember that dad... He called all of us in and said, Hey, guys, this happened. And this is how we're handling it. And then you'd say, Mary, do you want to say anything? And mom would say, Okay, this happened. And girls, and she would tell us girls, even as, as women, young women, how we handle this, you guys all....I don't remember the stuff that happened, but I remember how we went about it. 

Steve Alessi  15:22  
And I say that and ask you that question...just kind of throw it at you here. Because sometimes we don't realize that if we're always complaining about people that we're working with, yeah, or about the challenges that we're facing, we could turn our kids off to what we're asking them to get involved in. And then all they do is talk about the problems. And I know in my line of work, there's plenty of leaders, that when they power down after a service, and they bring their family around for lunch or something, they're so absorbed with the negative that happened or person that caused a problem, that they want to talk about that stuff. And I don't care what line of work you're in, there's always going to be problems. And there's always going to be disgruntled people, disgruntled employees, people that fail you people that say things negative about you. But we had a rule in our house. And we had a rule about certain people, that if their name kept coming up, we were...

Gabrielle Alessi  16:32  
I was usually the one that brought their name up too much. 

Steve Alessi  16:34  
 What am I talking about there? 

Gabrielle Alessi  16:34  
 if you... if someone's name came up too many times in our house, then there was an issue, and we were going to stop talking about it. And instead of talking about it, we were going to handle it. 

Steve Alessi  16:45  
That's right. 

Gabrielle Alessi  16:46  
And that was how....and I remember being the person that brought somebody's name up too much. And I never wanted to handle it. And you would say, "That's it. I've listened to you girls complain and complain. We're doing something about it." And once dad got involved, it was like, Oh, god, it's final. And this is gonna be bad. But, what like I said earlier, you showed us how to handle the things. And I think when moms and dads come home, and they're talking... they're complaining about the business, or if also they're in ministry, and they come home, and they're complaining about the worship leader who didn't make it on time for service, if that's what you're focusing on.... your kids aren't.... I think parents think their kids are sitting back and saying, "Okay, so that's not...we shouldn't do that. We're learning from people's from people's faults." No, your kids are seeing how you're coming home and talking negatively. And they're seeing what you're doing, not what you're saying. And they're seeing that you're disappointed that the worship leader was there late or you're disappointed.

Steve Alessi  17:43  
Sorry!

Gabrielle Alessi  17:45  
Time to eat?

Steve Alessi  17:46  
It's time to eat! 

Jon Roman  17:48  
 We'll fix that in post, Pastor, don't worry we'll fix that. 

Steve Alessi  17:53  
Leave it in there. We're eating. Allen popped in! Love it, Allen's here. So continue, do you know what you were saying? 

Yes, I do always. No, your kids are seeing what you're doing when you get home. And they're not listening to the words as much as they're seeing how your attitude is, and and how you're speaking to them. And the......the spirit that you carry if you're getting to the dinner table, or the lunch table after, or the dinner table after work. And you're like, Okay, let's eat, you know, today was just so hard. And then you want your kids to speak up and say how their day was. That's not.... it doesn't work that way. Your kids won't respond... 

Yeah,

Gabrielle Alessi  18:08  
 ..because they're watching you and seeing what you're doing, not necessarily what you're saying.

Steve Alessi  18:36  
I want to go back to what we... what I meant by that whole thing, if somebody's name comes up too often. What we would find is, because our line of work is always involving people, we would have people problems. Happens in every organization, every family, yeah, you got people problems. The point being, if that name of the individual that one of you were having problems with, kept coming up, then it showed me that we weren't resolving our issue.

Gabrielle Alessi  19:09  
 Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  19:10  
Because we may have people problems. But people are why we have our ministry.

Gabrielle Alessi  19:17  
 Yeah.

Steve Alessi  19:18  
We do this, yes. God's called us to it. But God's called us to shepherd his people. 

Gabrielle Alessi  19:23  
Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  19:23  
And people are going to have issues. People have problems. People are never the problem. 

Gabrielle Alessi  19:31  
Exactly. 

Steve Alessi  19:32  
But we can make them the problem. We can make them an enemy, we can make them... a case against them and judge them the wrong way. And yet we're people, in our line of work, that's supposed to be helping people be their very best. 

Gabrielle Alessi  19:46  
Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  19:46  
So what good does it do to keep talking over and over again about somebody and make them out to become an enemy?

Gabrielle Alessi  19:56  
 Yeah.

Steve Alessi  19:57  
 Because we can do that. 

Gabrielle Alessi  19:58  
Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  19:59  
When in reality ...what we can do on occasion, is we can vent. When we vent about a person, we're just saying this happened

Gabrielle Alessi  20:10  
 Yep.

Steve Alessi  20:11  
 And now because we work together, and we have even different viewpoints, because we may see a person in different rooms, per se, and that which means then we see them under different circumstances. As we share, we're not gossiping. 

Gabrielle Alessi  20:27  
No.

Steve Alessi  20:28  
We are just processing 

Gabrielle Alessi  20:30  
Yes, 

Steve Alessi  20:30  
not gossiping. 

Gabrielle Alessi  20:31  
No

Steve Alessi  20:33  
 processing process-sing, so that then the family could give input, which then helps us bring a resolve. So if a person's name came up four or five, six times...

Gabrielle Alessi  20:43  
Yeah!

Steve Alessi  20:44  
...that meant the person who keeps bringing their name...up, isn't doing their part to bring a resolve.

Gabrielle Alessi  20:51  
And the person that we say is a problem. Now we're the problem. I think that's where you were always... because we kept bringing them up and bringing them up...the girls and I, we created this thing, you know, how we have the vending machine? And we call it the venting machine where you're only allowed to open it once about one problem. And you put your quarter in, and you get it, one drink. That's it. And you get once that venting session. And the rules are everybody around the venting session gets to say, Oh, I know, it's so hard and not allowed to correct us. But once we're done with that session, you're done. And you can't bring it up again.

Steve Alessi  21:24  
Where can you get this venting machine?

Mary Alessi  21:26  
I don't know, I created that line.

Steve Alessi  21:28  
 Is it on Amazon? 

Mary Alessi  21:30  
every family go home right now, create it for yourself. But it's because when you are making somebody a problem, if you're saying oh, this person's a problem, you will soon soon turn into the problem because you're not handling the issue that's at hand. 

Steve Alessi  21:43  
Yeah. 

Gabrielle Alessi  21:43  
And you always taught us handle it, nip it in the bud, get rid of it, not get rid of the person, but you find the issue. What's the root issue, ask them how they're doing. And don't just keep piling on with all the problems. 

Steve Alessi  21:55  
Yeah, that turns you off to the ministry. If all you see is problems, it's going to turn you off as a young lady to the ministry and you'd say, Man, I'll just go ahead and do something else.  I'll go sing or I'll go work, uh, you know, serve coffee at Starbucks or something. And we never wanted that. It had to be, first because it was sin. Come on, we can't be at one side of our mouth, trying to bless people on Sunday, and then curse them all during the week because we're having problems with them. Yeah, we can't, can't do that. That's an unhealthy environment. 

Gabrielle Alessi  22:30  
Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  22:31  
.....For any kind of guidance that you want to give to the kids. The people are never the problem. 

Gabrielle Alessi  22:37  
No.

Steve Alessi  22:38  
We know we have an enemy of our soul, always trying to disrupt things. People have issues way before they ever came to get involved in us. 

Gabrielle Alessi  22:48  
Yeah.

Steve Alessi  22:48  
You know, in our line of work, they come with their... all their own set of issues. Who are we to think we can change them? Yeah. 

Gabrielle Alessi  22:56  
When we have our own issues. 

Steve Alessi  22:58  
We've...don't say that too loud please. Because mom's gonna pile on when you start pointing the finger at me. 

Gabrielle Alessi  23:06  
I love how we becomes you. 

Steve Alessi  23:08  
Yeah. That's about it. Thank you.... so much for us... now It's you Dad, that's your issue. Thank you very much. Okay, another question I want to ask you Gabs, because you have a gift. And it's not the one you're in your mind thinking I'm going to compliment you on. It's a gift that we noticed when you were young. And we started to encourage it. And we'd go to you for certain things because you had this unique gift of knowing everybody's name. 

Gabrielle Alessi  23:38  
Oh, there you say food. Obviously. Yes, but that too. 

Steve Alessi  23:41  
You know everybody's name.

Gabrielle Alessi  23:42  
 Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  23:44  
That's crazy. Because that... knowing the name, you're like the the Rolodex in old days where you just go to the A's and find somebody's name. You're a directory.

Gabrielle Alessi  23:56  
 Yeah, I'm the Breeze of Metro. 

Steve Alessi  24:00  
So when we were talking about.... if we didn't know their name, we say "Hey, Gabby. 

Gabrielle Alessi  24:06  
Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  24:06  
Who's that person with the bald headbthat's tall and skinny that plays the keyboards on Sunday? Allen Paul? 

Gabrielle Alessi  24:15  
Well, I just need to know... give me where do they sit on a Sunday? 

Steve Alessi  24:18  
Yeah.

Gabrielle Alessi  24:19  
That's all I need to know. Give me the family who's their kid? What is their..it's like, give me some of their mannerisms. And I... it just sticks with me.

Steve Alessi  24:27  
And then you ...you.... You do it from the children's ministry too. Because this was something I said we noticed early on. Because when we would mention somebody you would tell us what their kids look like and that their kids were in the children's ministry. And you knew them by name.

Gabrielle Alessi  24:42  
It's it's a ...I'm grateful for it.

Steve Alessi  24:44  
 Yeah. 

Gabrielle Alessi  24:44  
Especially working with youth, now. I never unless the girls' names are Sophia and Isabella because everybody's a Sophia and Isabella, but I could always remember. I'm grateful for it. Because now on a Wednesday, I'm like, Oh my gosh, Dre and Zack and Ady... I just know them and it helps because that builds the connection with them.

Steve Alessi  25:03  
Oh, that is tremendous. That is. I've read a book, like three times, I can't remember the name of the book. But it was a book about....

Gabrielle Alessi  25:12  
How to remember names? 

Steve Alessi  25:16  
 I still can't remember all that. But you were the go to, which showed me early on, Gabs. Okay? I know you can sing, and you do a great job. And you really are, you have a gifting for that. And we're thankful for where you're at. And we feel comfortable throwing you the ball in anytime in the middle of game when it comes to singing, because you can really help out now, as you get older, you get better and better and better. But early on, though, I knew you were a singer. Just because you could record remember people's names, I also knew you had a shepherding gift. Because you were aware of people, not just notes, not just music, you were aware of people, which then as Pastor...

 yeah.

... As your father, it was then my job to help direct you towards where you are strongest. And it became evident that you have that going for you, as well as the singing. Now Steph,  I don't know if she remembers anybody's name. But she's great when it comes to getting up there and singing...

Gabrielle Alessi  26:35  
She can write a song like nobody's business. 

Steve Alessi  26:37  
She's doing a great job at her age. I mean, that's great. 

Gabrielle Alessi  26:40  
Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  26:41  
But we know from that gift that started to manifest itself early on, when she had her little guitar...

Gabrielle Alessi  26:47  
She can make up people's names, like lyrics.

Steve Alessi  26:51  
And even certain English words she comes up with, adds them in the dictionary as we go along. But she, she had her area of gifting. And I could see early on that you had your area of gifting, which then brings us to where you're at today, being able to call off these young kids' names. And you're ministering to them as a youth director. You are living in a way where some of these precious kids come running up to you on Sunday to you know, embrace you, hug you, grab your leg. The... the families, the Rossi girl...

Gabrielle Alessi  27:34  
Oh my gosh.

Steve Alessi  27:35  
Just ...they draw little pictures for you. And they hand them to you on Sunday. You and the family. It's there already. It's...It's where we start to see you going and you feel called to this place because of it.

Gabrielle Alessi  27:52  
Yeah, definitely. And I think the more I am on Wednesdays and Sundays and even Monday nights, how we have that.... The more I'm around the people, there is a ....there's just I mean, our church is based on relationship. Our business is based on relationship. And that was something that.... it did come naturally to me, relationships, it always came naturally. That wasn't something that I had to really strive to figure out. But the more I practice it, and I'm around it, and I'm learning new things, and I'm getting to pray over different people. The more I feel God is just...he keeps equipping me and.... and now it's so funny because there's different things that I just know how to do. And it's because I've been watching you and mom do it for forever. Like, that's....I think every people are like you have great instincts. And it's like, No, I have great parents. Because they're the ones speaking to me all the time. Like your words, y'all.... you and mom's words are constantly ringing in my head when a situation happens. I look at you guys, I see how you guys do it. That's how we got through COVID with the youth. I saw how you did it. And I was like, Okay, well, we're just going to figure out our own youth version of how Metro is doing as a whole and Metro Youth followed. 

Steve Alessi  28:59  
Yeah.

Gabrielle Alessi  29:00  
But yeah, it's just something the more you practice and God graces you for that.

Steve Alessi  29:04  
Yeah. Well, you have it. It's great to have you alongside of us. You're the youngest bringing up the back of the journey here. 

Gabrielle Alessi  29:13  
Caboose.

Steve Alessi  29:14  
And we're super, super proud of you in the way that you're handling. So I like to end with certain questions that we ask people. 

Gabrielle Alessi  29:21  
Okay.

Steve Alessi  29:21  
So you of course you've been in youth now you're in youth. But you were in the children's ministry while you were small. Remember the time we left you in the car?

Gabrielle Alessi  29:33  
 Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  29:36  
That was scary. That was terrible. 

Gabrielle Alessi  29:37  
I remember when you left me in the car, mom left me in a... like one of those houses in Santa's Enchanted Forest?  Because you had a lot of kids.

Steve Alessi  29:44  
Yes, we did yes we did. Yeah, We left you when we pulled up to church. You were sound asleep in the back of the car. We got out, packed up, went into church and a few minutes later somebody says "Oh my God, Gaby's crying in the...

Gabrielle Alessi  29:57  
In the suburban, banging on the back window.

Steve Alessi  30:00  
Okay, but you would then be whisked off to the children's ministry. 

Gabrielle Alessi  30:03  
Yes. 

Steve Alessi  30:04  
When you were young. Okay, so you were known for something in the youth ministry. Excuse me, the children's ministry. What were you known for in the children's ministry? What was your rep? 

Gabrielle Alessi  30:19  
Was this what we talked about earlier?

Steve Alessi  30:22  
Pearly whites? 

Gabrielle Alessi  30:24  
With my chompers over here. I had a biting problem. And I don't know why! I think I just got... it wasn't excitement. I was just mad. I mean, when you're the pastor's kid, you run those streets in children's ministry and you feel like...Yeah, I remember Addison, poor Addison Gomez, he and I would go at it. 

Steve Alessi  30:43  
No.

Gabrielle Alessi  30:43  
 Oh, my gosh, all the time, though.

Steve Alessi  30:46  
 Fighters?

Gabrielle Alessi  30:47  
Fighters. Well, I would bite him. Apparently I bit Jon. But that's just weird to me. I don't know. I don't remember anything. 

Steve Alessi  30:54  
Well, we sent you to BA, Biters Anonymous and you finally stopped biting people. Well, listen, this has been a great time to be able to share and hear it from Gaby yourself about how the Family Business continues to go from one generation to the next. And I hope today, you were encouraged. 

Chris Alessi  31:14  
Thank you for listening to The Family Business with The Alessis. You know, I bet there's someone you know who can use this kind of advice and encouragement. So make sure to share this episode with them and their family. Because let's face it, family is everyone's business. If you want to be a part of our family, subscribe to the show right now on your favorite app, and make sure to download the episodes so you can hear them at any time. Oh, and one more thing. One of the best ways to help us spread the word about the family business with the lsaps is by reviewing the show on Apple podcasts or your favorite app. So help us out, write a review and join us next time at the Family Business Podcast with the Alessis.