May 10, 2023
Parenting 102: Honest Reflections on Starting a Family from Two Young Couples | S5 E17

When you're starting your family as a young couple, things can get interesting quickly! Here, the newest parents in the Alessi family compare how they are starting their families right in their early years of marriage.

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Young married couples may not know what to expect when they're expecting...but it's great when you can ask a couple who is just one step ahead!

In this episode, two young married couples in the Alessi family share their experiences as young and expectant parents!

As Chris and Richelle Alessi prepare for the arrival of their first child, Marino Alessi, they share their expectations and questions with Christopher and Stephanie Muiña, who recently celebrated the first birthday of their daughter, Gianna.

You'll hear the honest and practical solutions these young parents have discovered to help them find balance in their family life, joy in their marriages, and the ability to prioritize the right things for their young family.

If you love this, you really should check out:

Year 1: The Highs and Lows of Parenting as a First Year Couple | S4 E13

How Successful Parents Set the Right Family Priorities | S1 EP2

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New episodes are uploaded every Wednesday! 

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Chris Alessi: Well, all right, everybody. Hello, and welcome to another episode of The Family Business with the Alessis. My name is Chris Alessi, and I'm here with my wife, Rochelle, and, of course, the Muinas And we're getting to do, uh, today's podcast because because family is everybody's business. And, uh, I try to do my best Pastor Steve impression while I'm up here. Um, no, but it's really cool because we get to talk about something really fun today. Again, family is everybody's business, and right now, we're in the business of preparing for little Marino John Alessi. Um, when this thing launches, when people are watching this back, he'll be a couple of weeks away. And so we had a doctor's appointment earlier today. Everything looks good. And, uh, we thought we'd spend some time talking about some of the lessons that we're about to walk into that you guys are experiencing already as Gianna is turning one year old soon.

Stephanie Muiña: May 3.

Chris Alessi: May 3. So may have already passed, if you're watching this past that day. Um, but why don't you say hi to everybody?

Stephanie Muiña: Sure. Hi, everybody. Thanks for having us on. It's been a very exciting year. And congratulations, Chris. We did it. We did. One year. We made it.

Chris Muiña: We did. Gianna's alive.

Stephanie Muiña: She's alive.

Richelle Alessi: She's healthy, she's fed, she sleeps, and.

Stephanie Muiña: She'S the best girl ever. And you did a great job.

Chris Muiña: So did you, step you stepped into things in motherhood that were instinctive that nobody, maybe, I'm sure you were prepared for, but just things that we learned along the way. And I think we're doing a good job.

Stephanie Muiña: We are. Good team. We love it.

Chris Alessi: Well, you have raised somebody that we all love.

Stephanie Muiña: I know.

Chris Alessi: And brings us all joy better than us sometimes. So we thank you for it. We thank you for it. But we're here to talk a little bit about, um, not parenting from the perspective of, like, we have all of this wisdom about parenting. None of us are there yet, but just more of what we've already experienced. So, like, you kind of look at it. There's a story in the Bible where God's, uh, people are looking at, uh, the Promised Land, and the first thing they see are the giants. And that can kind of be our perspective right now. We can discuss some of the giants in the land of you weren't a parent, and now you are. Uh, we've already started to feel like we're stewarding a life already. Like, we're finding he has different quirks, and he's not even out of the womb yet, but he's already got a personality.

Stephanie Muiña: Yeah.

Richelle Alessi: Talk about it's. Um, funny, because I remember the first, uh, like, the 20 weeks, and you get to see him through the ultrasounds and all of that. And I would tell Chris he seems a little feisty. He's calm, but he's a little feisty sometimes. He did not like when they were trying to move him or anything, he would put his hands up. And today when we went, it was just another confirmation because the lady's like, yeah, he's cute, but he doesn't like pictures. This boy doesn't like it. And we got to see on the ultrasound his little face. And the moment they press a little harder, immediately his hands go up and then you can't see his face. So it's sweet because already I'm already getting it. Um, just like, imagining what he's like. And I feel him every day, too, so I know the hours he's active, I know the hours he's sleeping and the way he moves. And it's like, we're already preparing for this is the type of baby we're having. And of course, when he's here, we'll see so much more. Um, but even that already is so cool.

Chris Alessi: It's a little glimpse into his personality.

Stephanie Muiña: You said you guys were stewarding already. The life. What are, like, one or two things you guys are excited to implement in your family? Like, short little things when he comes and when you have more kids.

Chris Alessi: Okay, so one of the things that we do every night, we have a prayer. We say it every night. I almost don't feel at peace until I say it. It's the weirdest thing. Mom and dad said a version of it to us when we were kids, and we just kind of brought it back when we got married. It encompasses everything in a short. It's great. Uh, well, about a week ago, she started to really have trouble sleeping. And so we started to include him in the prayer from the perspective of, like, I would do the prayer more around here to make sure he heard it. Um, I would talk to him and be like, hey, give your mom a break tonight. Let him sleep. Let her sleep. And ever since then, he has started to listen and she has slept great. And so I'm excited to incorporate Marino into our little routine before bed of praying. And here's how we do it. And it's not some super spiritual thing, but, um, I'm excited for something as sweet as that, as small as that. Do you have anything?

Richelle Alessi: I think I am also excited for nighttime. I don't know why. I've always loved the idea of it's time we all get home. We've had a long day and we have our routine, but like bath, reading a book, spending that time with your baby, that's something that I'm really looking forward to. But also, honestly, it's just all the church things we do, like all the events we have, and just introducing him to what we already do and bring him along to all of that gets me really excited. Like, thinking of the Spring Fest, the Life Fest, all these things we do, and we already see kids running around, and I just can't wait to see my little kid running around and being excited for those things, too. Introducing him to just a lot our community.

Chris Alessi: And Chris always says the mornings are great, so I'm excited for some mornings.

Stephanie Muiña: They are great.

Chris Muiña: Yeah. Morning times with Gianna, she's the happiest. She's rested, she wants to cuddle a little bit, but she also wants to get up and go have breakfast. I think incorporating or what you're excited to introduce to your kids is really what you're already doing and what you like, already like. For Stefan, I it was important that Gianna had sat down at the table with us and had dinner with us. M. Why? Because that was important to us. Ever since we started dating, like, sitting down at a table, having good conversation over a meal was important to us. So we've really tried to implement that into Gianna, where, hey, it's dinner time. You're not going to be watching TV. You're going to be sitting there with mom and dad, and we're going to be talking. She can't talk, but she can sit there.

Stephanie Muiña: She babbles thinks she's talking.

Chris Muiña: Another thing is we like the beach. So Gianna, guess what? Gianna is going to like the beach. We're going to take her with us and we're going to give her toys and introduce her to the water. So it's really whatever we're already operating in that we enjoy and that we value, like your nightly routine or something like that. Your child is going to adopt that.

Stephanie Muiña: Yeah. And it is fun to what you said, letting your kid become a church kid.

Richelle Alessi: Yes.

Stephanie Muiña: That's a really fun thing to watch. And I already see it with Gia.

Chris Alessi: Uh, yeah, she's already starting to run around with the kids and she can't run yet, and she's watching them run around and she's like, I know I'm being left out of what's happening right now, but I want to be a part of it.

Stephanie Muiña: Yeah.

Chris Alessi: And I think you hit something that is probably one of the giants of the promised land of this next season for parents and people developing is everybody says it, you bring that kid home for the first time and your first thought is, we're alone. Uh, we're going to keep this kid alive. How do we do that? So you go from that to, I mean, preparing for this kid, you're so excited to all of a sudden it's there, he or she is there.

Stephanie Muiña: It's crazy.

Chris Alessi: And you have to keep them alive and you have to keep them going and they cannot communicate with you. And you go from that to feeling like, I have to do the things, uh, that they need in order to keep them going. But that can go too far a little bit to now they dictate what my life looks like, the baby dictates my schedule or dictates the things that we do to enjoy. And you guys have not done that, you guys, from the beginning, like you just said, uh, she's going to come with us wherever we go. We're not going to say no to church events because we have a baby now. The baby is just going to sit through them. We're not going to say, hey, you know what, we can't have dinner. So you eat dinner now, I'll hold the baby and then, you know what? Then you eat. You don't do that.

Stephanie Muiña: It's true. We knew that pretty early on. We wanted our baby to just kind of come with us everywhere we go. And of course, the more kids we have, it'll get a little crazier and we'll have to manage that. But it'll, uh, be the same with as many kids as we have. We were raised in a family of four kids and you were raised in a large family and you just followed the parents and it was a blast. I think what's great about having a church that prioritized kids as well was I went to go see my best friends at church. It was family. We would watch mom and dad do their thing. We would hang out in dad's office and then our best friends, all of their family served and their parents served at the church too. So it was always a family affair. It was a friend affair where, uh, our life was always just it was the church and it was at the church and it was just always a blast going. And I'm so glad they created a space for us there because we never dreaded it. We learned so much from our parents. Going and seeing our parents served in that capacity and seeing them grow the church in such a pure way only stirred up a love for the church. Myself, I never felt like I lacked time with my parents ever. Ever. Like looking back, hearing other parents today kind of complain about how there's too many things going on at church. They can't manage family time and church time. It's, uh, hard for me to understand that because our parents built the church and so they were there for literally everything.

Chris Alessi: Our church summer camp was coming to work with them.

Stephanie Muiña: Yeah. And hanging out with Michael and Alexis and Addison and all at the church. And I never felt like I missed out on time with my family. If anything, the church became such a huge part of our family and um, it was the best it was the best childhood to have.

Chris Alessi: Well, was that a struggle at first? The idea that now we have this child, they need certain things. Did that time management issue become a struggle at all?

Chris Muiña: Well, I think you always have to manage your time wisely now. I think with a mistake where you can or the trap that you can fall into is the scarcity mindset of time. A lot of people just contribute scarcity mindset to finances and money and, uh, material goods. But really in our society, time is such a valuable and priceless commodity that it could be looked at as are you looking at time with a scarcity mindset? Um, yeah. You look at Matthew, chapter six, when he talks about how look, uh, at the sparrows and the birds of the field, how God protects them and he clothes them, and the flowers of the fields, how they grow and it rains and God provides for them. And then it says, oh, you have little faith. Don't you know that, uh, if God can do that for those things, don't you know he's going to provide for you and clothe you and feed you? Um, don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow is going to bring its own worries. That's the time aspect of it. Um, so it's like, we can trust God with our finances, we can trust God with certain things. We got to be able to trust God with our time. Um, and it doesn't mean withdrawing from serving Him. It means serving Him with our family together, not keeping those two separate and then trusting Him that he's going to provide that quality time with our family, um, that we need.

Stephanie Muiña: And, um, you're absolutely right. And what I noticed when we had Gia was, even if you were raised in that way, where we were at the church all the time, and our parents never worried about, oh, we're losing family time because of church, that we never had those conversations. I thought it would be easy for me to just assume that same role when I became, um, when Gia came and I became a parent. But I had to fight that temptation as well, where there were times I was really tired and I was nervous. Oh, Gia, she needs she's too overwhelmed, she's too stimulated. I really want to sleep train her. I really want to put her down by 830 tonight. And I need to feed her. I need to practice the baby lead. Weaning so this is a little too hard for me to go to these super late night events and to be constantly bringing her to church where I can't train her. And I remember thinking, oh, my gosh, that scarcity mindset is coming. Uh, I never thought I would have to die to that. And every parent has to that's a struggle for every single parent. And you also have to be wise about which other parents you listen to and you spend time with, because there's a lot of parents out there that can complain more than they can celebrate their time with their children. And you have to be very careful of the voices you allow in. But every parent, no matter how you're raised, you all go through that temptation to become more of a, uh, conservative with your time than m just serving God whenever he calls you to serve.

Chris Alessi: So I heard them talk about how you guys, when you sit down to dinner, you sit down and you talk. That's what you do. And it's beautiful. Uh, we're kind of different. We're different because you may not know this. She's a big talker. Yes, she's a big talker. And for whatever reason, our house is never silent.

Stephanie Muiña: Yeah, you guys talk a lot.

Chris Alessi: Unless one of us is asleep and the other one is listening to something, we're talking. We wake up. I feel so bad. But when she wakes up, I'm m like, I got eight things to either tell her or ask her. We're talking all the time. The only time we're not talking is when the TV is on.

Stephanie Muiña: Mhm.

Chris Alessi: That's the only time that we're not talking. I'm excited to bring our kids into that. That our kids will be here constantly talking with us and all that. The reason I say that is when you look at the two things, the different ways of doing it, the intentional, we're going to sit and we're going to talk, which we still have to do from time to time. And us, which is the entire drive here. We're talking about things. We wake up, we're talking. We go to bed, we're talking. We're constantly talking about things. Both are good because they both follow a principle. You're communicating, you're talking, you're enjoying your time. You're also, uh, ready to change. If the marriage or the season needs the change, the principles are all there. Um, it doesn't mean that your kids may grow up one day and be like, you know what our parents did, they always were intentional about dinner and that's going to sound so great and amazing. And then our kids are going to be like, my god, dinner was the one time there was silence in our because all we did was talk. Both are good because they follow principles. And the thing that people forget, especially when they read a book on time management, or they read a book on balance, or they read some kind of self help book that's like assign, uh, a purpose for every minute or make sure you do every day, what stinks is that that becomes the only principle they now follow. Yes, they only follow the principle of time management. And they forget all the other principles that God tells us of something like sea time and harvest or just being present and enjoying it. Not always thinking about the next thing, being mindful of what's happening right now.

Stephanie Muiña: Yes.

Chris Alessi: I think that's what ends up happening. People forget the other principles. Like when I bring my family and lead them in the way of the Lord, they will never depart from that. They forget when, uh, he who waters will be watered. When I come to church with my family and I teach them, they're going to be watered by that, not drained by that. And that's one thing that she saw growing up was that her and her siblings made the decision to come here and be watered. So they were here all the um time. And that's going to be normal for our kids, too.

Richelle Alessi: Yeah. And I love that because I think from the beginning, we need to start thinking about we're givers with our time, too. Like, we talk about giving financially and all of that, but that our kids should never feel like, well, we get to say, well, now I'm tired, I need to go home. Mhm and if you're tired, find a space underneath the chair, fall asleep for a few minutes and then wake up and keep running around. But our family what we do, this is what we do. If you're an LSI, this is what we're called to and this is what we're going to do. We're not going to put excuses around it. And like you said, we'll just manage our time better. And be intentional about our vacations, be intentional about the times that we'll say, we'll go away for these three days, uh, for this week, but when we're home, when we're here, the ministry in the church, this is what we do. And so, because of that, we'll be here from ten or eight in the morning till ten at night, because we have work, we have services, we have all these things. But we'll even find ways to make that fun for them. Yes, they'll have friends, they'll have cousins. So at some point, I love them, montejo family, because they love coming to church. And those kids walk in and it's like they know this is their church. And it's beautiful to see a four year old, a three year old, a six year old walk in and be like, this is my church, I know.

Chris Alessi: They I own this place, I know.

Richelle Alessi: Exactly where to go. And when their parents bring friends, you already see the little kids saying, come with me, let me show you. And that just happens because they're here all the time. There's never an excuse of, I can't be here super early because in the morning, uh, it gets crazy. That has never become an excuse of being givers with our time, but also being intentional about the times that we'll go away, we'll recharge, we'll spend time together, but that will never become an excuse for what we do.

Chris Alessi: It's true. Well, it's kind of like, okay, I hate to say this, but it's kind of like a prenup in a way. The minute you sign a prenup, you're basically saying, before we get into this, I'm withholding something. M, that makes you a withholder. It means that as life continues to happen, you'll find more to withhold. Why? Because you've operated in a principle of if something is of insane value, well, then I have the right to withhold it. Right when you start to say something like, as simple as, I have to have a schedule for my child, and so I'll leave my friend's house at 08:00 because I've got to go get my kid to bed, or whatever. You've created a principle. Now which is their uh, needs matter more than anybody else's needs. Mhm, um, their needs matter more than the friend who may actually need me, mhm? And may be waiting to get through an hour of relational time to be open with me. Um, you have now created an environment where the kid leads and that's hard to just turn off.

Stephanie Muiña: Yes.

Chris Alessi: Same thing with the uh, involvement in the church and the things that it's really not just church, but we talked about it when we went to the beach a couple of days ago. Taking your family to do things they will remember does not come naturally.

Stephanie Muiña: No, it does.

Chris Alessi: When we look at uh, getting them involved in sports, that's hard to follow up with that time restraint, uh, to make enough money to be able to take them to vacations and all of that. That stuff is hard. Not just the church stuff. Like just living the life they want to live. If they have a kid who's super talented and wants to be in theater and sports and choir, there's a lot of things with that. But when we live by our principles and we're never led by all of those things, uh, we start to realize, okay, the same way that um, ah, the church isn't one of the things that takes time away.

Stephanie Muiña: No.

Chris Alessi: It is the thing that waters everything else. It's the well I draw from for everything else.

Stephanie Muiña: Yes.

Chris Alessi: If you put a line on that principle to your kids, which is we will go to church events on these occasions, but these things take precedence, then you create principles like the prenup, like the thing I mentioned earlier, where those principles will grow like the others will. And before you know it, you create kids who put church in a box, god in a box. And they never get to experience the fullness of the principle of uh, giving everything to God and watching him out. Give me.

Stephanie Muiña: Yeah, we were talking about that and I think because he's seen a lot of pastors kids stray from church, stray from their parents. Uh, I didn't really follow a lot of pastors. So I only knew my own experience, which was everything's amazing. I love church, my parents are amazing, I'm going to be in the church, this is great. But there is that uh, reality of okay, there's a lot of families that believe church is bad because those pastors kids left the church. And I was thinking about it and I said, well, you know, it's easy to blame the church for um, why that family might have been torn apart. But has anybody questioned the pastor's heart in serving? Because maybe that pastor just didn't serve purely. It's not about the church that ruined it. It's about weak parenting. And I'm saying that kindly. But it's about um, somebody who did not serve the church with a pure heart, who did not serve his family with a pure heart. I have dreams and I have goals, and I want to put out albums, okay? I would love to see Metrolife Worship go on a tour. I would love to see books being put out by everybody in our family. I would love to see our church grow. But I laid all of those visions and plans down before the Lord. My number one calling is to serve the Lord and the things of the Lord and to serve the church because I love him more than anything. Not because I want to complete these goals and I want to achieve these things, but because I love the Lord and I want my guilt children to see that everything that I do for the church is because I love Jesus and he has made my life incredible, and I'm happy with him in my life. And it's a pure heart in when you serve. It's not an egotistical heart. It's not a selfish heart. And I was telling him, I was like, really? We saw the up close and personal issues with some of those pastors, and it wasn't the church that tore their family apart. It was their heart.

Chris Alessi: They wanted to protect their kids from the church. And that's the thing that sometimes they don't realize becomes the standard that I have to protect my kid from the church. And the church is going to ask too much of my kid, even as a pastor. So I have to protect them. And that never happened for us.

Stephanie Muiña: Never.

Chris Alessi: But do this for us. Give us a couple of things. We got about seven minutes left. Give us some rapid fire things that we should be looking forward to preparing for or learn from. And let's get real practical. Like, you guys came over the house a couple of days ago to help us with the baby room, and you gave us a tip on the closet. Let's get real practical for a couple of minutes. What are some things we should know.

Chris Muiña: When you're changing a diaper? Put the fresh diaper under the old diaper first.

Stephanie Muiña: Yes.

Chris Muiña: And then remove the old diaper.

Stephanie Muiña: Yes. And then when you are still changing his diaper, you have a boy, so it's different. You've got a shooter. So put the top of the diaper on top of him because then he will start peeing and it will stain your walls. Literally. I still have poop stains from Gia, uh, staining the walls.

Chris Alessi: Man, I can't wait until she's 20 years old and hears that. That was on a podcast one day.

Chris Muiña: It's going to be great. David Roman, he told me, make bath time super fun. And he actually Amazon us and sent us a bunch of bath time toys, like water toys and things. And Gianna loves bath time. She always has. But she loves it now because it's like a theme park in that bathtub for her. So I would say that make bath time very fun. For them.

Chris Alessi: What else?

Stephanie Muiña: Um, don't get too stressed out about the order of things. I can get so worried sometimes about, oh, well, I can't put her to sleep because I don't have this ready, and I don't have that ready. If the baby's falling asleep, just let her fall asleep. If she's in just her diaper and you didn't get the chance to put on her PJs, just let them fall asleep. You'll be fine. And don't be so stressed out that they're sleeping in your bed for too long. Ah, people have their preferences. That's fine. But that baby is only going to sleep in your bed until they're, what, four max? Four is max, I think. And that only goes by so fast. So if the baby sleeps with you for too long, that's totally fine.

Chris Alessi: They're parents of, like, 14 year olds, and their kids feel soft, and they're like, I shouldn't have let them sleep in our bed. What are the things you feel like you've already learned just eight months into pregnancy or from seeing them?

Richelle Alessi: Well, I've learned a lot from seeing them. Number, uh, one is they are brave with Gianna. They take care of her really well, but they introduce her to things like, they're not afraid to introduce her to a new food or something like that. And I love how they let us spend time with her, and they're not so, like, sorry, guys. Yeah. Um, we can't hang out with you because Jianna is tired, and that's created, like, the most joyful baby, because every time Gianna comes around, it's a party mhm all the time.

Chris Alessi: And she loves the family, because she.

Stephanie Muiña: Does love the family.

Chris Alessi: The other night, a storm broke out while they were at our house, and they lived five doors down, but a storm broke out. It was a hurricane. And they were like, we have to brace the storm, and we have to go home. And the minute they took Gianna, she started to lose it. She's like she wanted to stay.

Stephanie Muiña: I know she liked the party.

Chris Alessi: She loved that. That's the opposite of what some people are experiencing, especially anybody that had a kid during COVID They have children that can feel very, um, anxious around people. But you guys did start very early, letting other people carry the baby, letting other people have their moments with them, with her. And now she loves people.

Richelle Alessi: I love that about her. Um, I've learned many things, um, but I think that's one of my favorite ones, because I want my kids to not just love us, but love also their family. And we see that with her, and it's so sweet. I say this all the time. I feel like she gives everybody exactly what they want, and they need, like, when she's with me, she's with me, and she's sweet with me, and she'll play with me. And then Uncle Chris comes around, and, uh, she'll go with him. But she'll give him the same. And I don't know how a baby can do that.

Chris Alessi: She can monitor whatever one needs.

Stephanie Muiña: She's so good. Something about that I had to learn was parenting. And, like, newborn parenting, the baby parenting is already stressful enough. Get around people that are relaxed. Get around other parents that are really carefree, have good kids, but just they know how to have a good time with their kids and surround yourself with those people. I was so worried about the food she ate. I kept telling you that. I was like the biggest thing that stressed me out in the first year was the food or how she would eat the food and should I do purees or the baby lead? Weaning and I was just so stressed out. He remembers all that. And then when I would get around my mom, and my mom was like, here's some broccoli. Try some broccoli. And she would eat it. And I'm like, okay, I need to spend more time with people like that, with people like that that know just how to relax you, because you're going to be overthinking a lot naturally, and you want to be around people that just level you out.

Chris Alessi: I will say I think I learned from the two of you, mainly from you because of the gender. But, um, you were really good the whole time about just being very upfront about hormones and what that would be doing. And she'd walk in one day and go, hey, today's just a bad day, just to make you aware of that or whatever. And that always helped because she never made that an excuse ever. And now the example that we have is you don't make those things an excuse. Yeah, it's true, and some people really do. But the thing that I learned from you about it in reference to this was how to still be a husband who led well and recognized when things were going off the rails. You still did that well with patients because of the different scenario, but at the same time, not just letting the hormones lead the home. So you did good in that. How'd you do that?

Chris Muiña: Well, I will say when the second one comes around, you kind of know how to you you can read that much better. The first time your wife is pregnant and hormones are changing the way her behavior, you're kind of thrown off in a little bit. You're like, what's going on? Like this not, uh, you the second time, you kind of know what to anticipate. And I can already read, like, okay, she's having a tough morning, so she's going to take a step back, give her some space, go maybe work in another office, or I'm going to take a walk, and when I come back in 15 minutes, she'll be fine.

Stephanie Muiña: Um, there was that one time, the first pregnancy, that you were like, okay, we need to stop this. You've got to get your act together. I think it was like a small, it wasn't an argument, it was a small conversation where you said, I need you. Even though you feel exhausted, I still need you to help me with things around the house. I still need you to help me cook. And you just made it clear, like, I can help in all these ways, but I still need you to hold your end a little bit. Do you remember that?

Chris Muiña: Not really, but I agree because he.

Chris Alessi: Blacked out because he went in and is like, I could die when I say this.

Stephanie Muiña: No, it was super kind and it was like, okay, you're right, you're right. Because I want a lot of kids so I'm going to be pregnant plenty of times and I've got to learn how to manage this, how to be doing my chores, doing my household things and having a good attitude while, uh, we're at work and at church and treating them right, but also managing those hormones.

Chris Muiña: And I think wanting to pick up the slack is a natural tendency for husbands and men is like, we see our wives and they're going through something that is hard, so we want to help, which I think is perfectly fine and normal instinctive. Um, but at the same time, hey, we need to eat a meal for dinner type of thing.

Chris Alessi: Um, however we're going to go broke or die, however that looks for your.

Chris Muiña: Certain scenario, whatever that looks like.

Chris Alessi: Yeah, that's one of the things that I think I really saw. Well, you guys just handled that stuff well and we could probably talk for a very long time about just the little things that we picked up on. Um, but the truth is, I think the main lesson that people need to pick up from this, whether they're people that are hoping to get pregnant or are pregnant or have been there, we um, have what we have because we're a part of a multilayered generational environment. We have people from all walks of life, all different types of experiences, some in their sixty s, forty s. We have parents of kids who are two or three years older than our kids. We have people that are just getting pregnant like us. We live in this multilayer generational environment. So there are lessons everywhere. So if you guys did it well, it's partially because you're standing on someone else's shoulders.

Stephanie Muiña: Mhm?

Chris Alessi: And that's the environment that the church provides. That this provides, is that you really do get to pick up so much from other people and not just from podcasts, but from actually listening. First trimester was actually really hard for her show. She connected with women that she had never talked to before, that also had hard pregnancies at the beginning. And it was amazing how what they said either helped her realize maybe this isn't as hard as I thought it was or dang. This is normal. It's okay. It doesn't mean anything is wrong. So I think making that environment part of your family business, no matter what our family, what we do, we're a part of a church. I think that really goes a long way in helping, uh, change the dynamic of your family and your history. So, uh, we're at 32 and a half minutes here, so we thank you for joining us for another episode of The Family Business podcast with the Alessis. Because family is everybody's business. Be blessed. You've just enjoyed another episode of The Family Business podcast with the Alessis, and we can't thank you enough for being a part of our podium today. Now that you've learned more about us, here's how you can join in in the family business. First, make sure you're following our podcast right now and download this episode so you can hear it at any time. Second, think of someone you know that m might need or enjoy this episode and share it with them. You'll be helping them and helping us to spread the word about the family business. Third, go to and tap the Ask the Alessis button. This is really cool. You could use it to record a voicemail comment or question, and we can add your voice to our conversations. Finally, while you're on our page, tap the Reviews tab and you'll see a link to leave a review on Apple podcasts. We love reading your reviews and we might even share them on the show. Thanks again for joining us, and we'll see you next time at The Family Business with The Alessis. Because family is everybody's business.

Chris AlessiProfile Photo

Chris Alessi

Pastor / Author / Speaker

Christopher Alessi was born and raised In the beautiful and diverse city of Miami Florida. He earned his bachelors degree in psychology with a minor in leadership communication at Florida international University.

Christopher serves as the next generation pastor in the church that his parents, Pastor Steve and Mary Alessi, founded and continue to lead, Metro Life Church. His desire is that all children, youth and young adults would recognize the true Ephesians 3:20 nature of God and inspire others to do the same. At his side in ministry and in life are his wife Richelle and his three young adult sisters, Stephanie, Lauren and Gabrielle.

Stephanie Alessi MuiñaProfile Photo

Stephanie Alessi Muiña

Steph Alessi Muiña, is a singer songwriter and worship leader from Miami, Florida. Born in a family dedicated to serving Christ in their community, Steph is now director of worship at Metro Life Church.

Steph is a beacon of unifying, faith-filled music permeated by holiness for the Church of today. After her 2017 debut EP “Still Waters” and multiple projects with Metro Life Worship, the singer songwriter is now ready to share her story through her songs more than ever!

Steph started journaling and songwriting as a child. Faced with periods of loneliness, she developed a close relationship with the Lord at an early age and processed her emotions in writing. At the same time, Steph was exposed to the diverse nature of God’s family from the beginning, shaping her heart for international communities and for people of all kinds of walks of life. Stephs involvement in women’s ministry also opened her eyes to the individual, it forged a wide view of church that she keeps in mind when writing songs. Since then she has been writing profusely with purity and honesty oozing out of her songs.