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November 03, 2021

What's In a Name? Why Legacy Matters in Our Family Business | S2 E8

In this episode, Steve and Mary Alessi reflect on the blessing of a good name, and explore how Rev. John Alessi helped to build the Alessi name into one full of legacy and purpose.

In this episode, Steve and Mary Alessi reflect on the blessing of a good name, and explore how Rev. John Alessi helped to build the Alessi name into one full of legacy and purpose.

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The Family Business with The Alessis

What does your name say about you? 

 Do you have a lasting legacy attached to your family name? 

And if not, can you start building a legacy that future generations will be proud to carry? 

The Alessi family name would not be what it is today without Rev. John Alessi, Steve Alessi’s father, who pastored in Miami for over 60 years and was instrumental in launching Steve and Mary into their calling of ministry.  

Pastor John exemplified service to his church, his family and his community, and was married for over 60 years to his wonderful wife, Ann Alessi.  Rev. John Alessi was called home to his eternal reward in October 2020, but his legacy lives on on in two generations of Alessis that continue to operate in the family business of ministry.

Exactly one year following his passing, Miami-Dade County honored Pastor John’s work by naming the street in front of his church Rev. John Alessi Street. 

In this episode, Steve and Mary Alessi reflect on the blessing of a good name, and explore how Pastor John’s life helped to cement the Alessi name as one being full of legacy and purpose.

 They openly talk about how they embraced the responsibility to honor their name, and explain how you can do the same no matter what your past experiences have been - so that your name can be remembered for all the right reasons. 

 

Join our family business every week as we talk about life, and help you build a great future with your family, no matter what business you are in.

New episodes are uploaded every Wednesday! 

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Transcript

Steve Alessi  0:09  
Welcome to another edition of the family business podcast with the Alessis, and I am here today with my wife. And we're talking about legacy. And we're talking about family. Because family is everybody's business. It really is. 

Mary Alessi  0:28  
Yes. 

Steve Alessi  0:28  
It really is, I'm glad we can go ahead and hit some subject matters. And today we're going to be talking about legacy and family, which is seemingly a real sweet spot for us at this season of our life. Here in our podcast, as we talk to our podience, we are able to discuss things here that we don't necessarily get around to being able to talk about so much on Sunday. And so it's nice to be able to go a little deeper. So I had an event this week, Mary. We had an event. 

Mary Alessi  0:58  
Right....

Steve Alessi  0:58  
... that was about a year in the making. So it was very, very special. Because on October the fourth of 2020, my father passed away and thankfully, he's in glory today. And at that viewing that we had, of his... the church family coming and honoring him and us, a friend of mine, that is a commissioner here in Miami, came and hugged me and said, Hey, listen to tell me if there's anything I can do for you, you just let me know. And I said to him, as he walked away, I went and grabbed him. I said, Listen, I need us to get this street in front of this church, named after my dad. And he looked at me said, You got it, we'll take care of that. So a year to the date after dad's passing, October, the fourth of 2021, we had a beautiful ceremony with our family. My mom was there. Our church family was there, especially those that were a part of the Grace Church years where my dad and mom pastored that church on 104 Street for 50 plus years before we stepped in, and took over the pastorate and the leadership there. And now it's Grace, a Metro Life Church. But we were all there to celebrate the unveiling of the sign that says Reverend John Alessi Street, right there in front of the building.  

Mary Alessi  2:41  
That's really cool. 

Steve Alessi  2:42  
..that my dad and my mom gave their lives to...

Mary Alessi  2:46  
... that's right...

Steve Alessi  2:46  
for so very long. 

Yeah. I wanted to come on the podcast to share that a little bit today. Because everything you and I are walking into today started down at that campus. 

Mary Alessi  2:58  
That's right. 

Steve Alessi  2:59  
When my dad and mom were pastors, because your mom came on the scene. She was the music director. My dad hired her. And she was the music director and you came down. You visit. And you fell in love with me Instantly. 

Mary Alessi  3:14  
Instantly. Yeah, love at first sight. 

Steve Alessi  3:16  
And then I fell for you. And we ended up dating and getting engaged and getting married in that church. 

Mary Alessi  3:23  
That's right.

Steve Alessi  3:25  
 And then we serve there for I worked there for 13 years serving my dad who is a pastor, mom's a pastor, we served alongside of them, only then in 1997, to come over and start our church in Doral. And what's so beautiful about that whole story is that like I said, 50 years after my dad and mom started that church. And about 20, about 15 years after we started Metro... 

Mary Alessi  3:55  
Yeah...

Steve Alessi  3:55  
...my dad and mom are ready to retire. And they asked us to come back in pastor that very campus.

Mary Alessi  4:02  
 Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  4:03  
And we were able to do so. So then to go back all these years later, and put up a sign in front of the building on the street...

Mary Alessi  4:13  
 Pretty cool

Steve Alessi  4:14  
... that my dad built his life on... And Mom and Dad literally live down the block from that. And in order to get to the main highway, they are on 104 Street and pass that church all the time, every day. To be able to dedicate it to him...

Mary Alessi  4:33  
 Yeah...

Steve Alessi  4:34  
...was a real honor.

Mary Alessi  4:36  
And it was really amazing to see the people that came out for that. And those that were able to come because it was the middle of the day -  people had to leave work to see that ceremony in that moment, which was only just a quick, five minute moment. But the staff went all out. Many of the volunteers went all out because it really was special. How many times do you get to go to an unveiling of a street naming, and know the person? Know them personally? But not only know them, they were very instrumental in your spiritual walk with God. 

Steve Alessi  5:06  
Yeah. 

Mary Alessi  5:07  
So that means a lot to people. I know it meant a lot to us because it was also, you know, he's our father, he's my father in law, your dad, but also a spiritual adviser and pastor in our lives that gave us a job. And when we got started at the church, although he was not easy to work for or with, he gave us an opportunity that nobody else stepped up and offered us and gave us free rein to do what God had called us to do. And we did it and that that's where even this family business podcast got his start. A lot of what we are today and what we know today is because of those early years working with him and your mom and for him, so it was really apropos, something that he wouldn't have ever asked for or done is to name the street after him. He wanted a street name, but he wanted it to have the name of the church on it. 

Steve Alessi  5:54  
Yeah. 

Mary Alessi  5:55  
So Steve, for you to take it a step farther and say no, I want to name it after my father when we see streets all over Miami, named after men that we don't know.

Steve Alessi  6:03  
 Right. 

Mary Alessi  6:03  
And it just means a lot for our church family and for our children that are coming behind us and our grandchildren. 

Steve Alessi  6:10  
Yeah. The street right next to the church itself to the east of it is the street he wanted to call Grace Lane, right, because it's just a little turnabout at the end. And my mom was like, well, he couldn't get this the street named Grace Lane, but you ended up Steve, getting the whole street named John Alessi Street. How cool is that? We've driven by a number of times, they actually put up three signs. And we've driven by it. And every time we see his name up there, oh, my gosh, it does our heart good.

Mary Alessi  6:49  
It makes me...my heart just fill with joy.

Steve Alessi  6:51  
Yeah, yeah. And he would definitely, he would love that. Because... dad had a good ego. 

Mary Alessi  6:58  
He certainly did.

Steve Alessi  6:59  
 He had a good ego. And the fact that I can sit back a year later, and we can laugh about it, and we can enjoy it. There was so much therapy there.

Mary Alessi  7:09  
There was a lot of healing, a lot of healing. I'm glad we did it on the year of the anniversary of his graduation into heaven. 

Steve Alessi  7:16  
Yeah. And it was empowering. I liked that he passed on a Sunday, which is typical. I mean, if there's going to be a day my dad should pass, it would have to be a Sunday because every pretty much every day of his adult life, he woke up on Sunday, to help people spiritually. And then for him to now be... us to be able to celebrate his passing a year later, which occurred on a Monday was pretty significant. Because it's like, okay, we dealt with the grief and the loss and the sadness for a year and it takes long. It does a year's a good time, though. Because we've got through all the number ones, the firsts. 

Mary Alessi  7:52  
Yes.

Steve Alessi  7:52  
 that were needed. The first anniversary without him, the first birthdays without him,  the first Christmas without him. Thanksgiving. 

Mary Alessi  7:57  
Father's Day. 

Steve Alessi  7:57  
Father's Day without him. There was a lot of firsts. Thankfully, we're out of it. But now like a Monday, it's time to get to work. Yeah, it's a new week, a new season. And I thought my mom did great.

Mary Alessi  8:08  
She was amazing.

Steve Alessi  8:09  
 Yeah. 

Mary Alessi  8:10  
She glowed.

Steve Alessi  8:11  
 She did.

Mary Alessi  8:11  
She just glowed, and I think it brought some healing to her too. Yeah. Because she knows she'll be the first one to see him again. And she's gonna get to say what you think about that, John? 

Steve Alessi  8:20  
Yeah. 

Mary Alessi  8:21  
You know, because that was really for her too. It maybe it had been his name. But she was someone that that really knew who she was and supported your dad. 

Steve Alessi  8:30  
Yep. 

Mary Alessi  8:31  
Every single day building that building. And people don't know when they see the sign. They don't know the blood, sweat and tears that went into that building on the corner. 

Steve Alessi  8:40  
Yeah. 

Mary Alessi  8:40  
They don't know the story of what he fought just to get the small building built. 

Steve Alessi  8:46  
Oh man. 

Mary Alessi  8:47  
Let alone the big one that is left now behind for many generations.

Steve Alessi  8:52  
Our local commissioner was there.  Our first chairman,  Jose Pepe Diaz was such a blessing to make this happen. So big shout out and a thank you to our commissioner and church member. I mean, a real church member with his family, because his kid's involved in our youth ministry and helping our daughter Gabby.

Mary Alessi  9:09  
Amazing. 

Steve Alessi  9:10  
Maria is just a strong woman we love so very much. I thank Chairman Jose Pepe Diaz is for making that happen. 

Mary Alessi  9:18  
And they're avid podcast listeners. Let me just say.

Steve Alessi  9:20  
 Oh, good. 

Mary Alessi  9:21  
They don't miss an episode.

Steve Alessi  9:22  
Oh, I'm so proud of them. And then a big shout out to Commissioner Raquel Regalado, who's in that district there in South Miami. And she was there and she made some great honouring compliments about the whole deal because she's going back as a young woman that was in Miami in those early years and 70s in the 80s. And she can remember what that area looked like. There was nothing when dad started that church. 

Mary Alessi  9:49  
Nothing out there. Nothing.

Steve Alessi  9:50  
Nothing. And what she did was honor the visionary that dad and mom were to be able to step into an environment like that where there was nothing and now it's like a hub. Oh, and by that church, they know that church...

Mary Alessi  10:05  
Absolutely. 

Steve Alessi  10:05  
 My mom was a little ...and  dad when when he was alive, we took all the names off of the signs. So there's no Alessi on the church sign. It's Grace, a Metro Life Church. So when we did that, and we changed the name from Grace Church to Grace, a Metro Life Church, and then eventually Metro Life Church, as we do our big remodel coming up. They were a little, they were a little... I don't want to say hurt, but maybe a little disappointed. They, they wanted to keep the name up there. And I got it. I did. But then to be able to turn around and not just put the name on the church building, but put it on that street right there? It's like we reclaimed something for them. And why do we make such a big deal about this, Mary? It's for me, you know, maybe people think, Oh, it's just all ego. It's just all ego. And some people may think that, that we would want to do this for the sake of just our pride and our ego. And usually people that will make that assertion are people that have big egos. 

Mary Alessi  11:15  
Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  11:17  
But it's - what this came down to, was what -  You know, we, we give our lives to...

Mary Alessi  11:25  
 Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  11:25  
Legacy. 

Mary Alessi  11:26  
Absolutely. 

Steve Alessi  11:27  
If we don't intentional eyes, legacy, it'll be forgotten. 

Mary Alessi  11:32  
That's right. We have to. 

Steve Alessi  11:34  
We have to be very upfront with it. If a man gave himself for 50 years to better a community, and there's something standing there...

Mary Alessi  11:47  
 that's right....

Steve Alessi  11:48  
 That he physically put together, you have to honor that. 

Mary Alessi  11:52  
You do.

Steve Alessi  11:53  
Because as you honor that, for one, the gift of honor, when you honor another, there's honor that comes into your life. When you dishonor someone, you sow seeds of dishonor, you're going to get a harvest of dishonor. When you honor though, you're up lifting. Those are seeds of honor that you sow that's going to allow then you to be honored. But the legacy aspect of it, if we don't intentionalizew legacy, and only think in the moment, then we will, it shows that we have a narrow vision. 

Mary Alessi  12:24  
Right.

Steve Alessi  12:25  
 I'm all about the long game. Especially at this season of my life. I saw dad, he lived a beautiful life. I used to love the fact that I had someone that I could reach up to, which was my father ahead of me and then had another, my son and daughters that I can reach down to. I loved being in the middle of that, that whole legacy. Losing dad made me "Oh, shucks, I lost something that was above me." Now it's on me to keep reaching down, reaching down and making sure my kids got it together and they're prepared to then pass it on to their kids. That's, that's the part of legacy that's just to me, so important. So this really came down to honoring the legacy of the Alessi family. 

Mary Alessi  13:12  
That's right. 

Steve Alessi  13:13  
That pulled its roots up from New York and came down here and started its self here, through seed in the ground. Wasn't just here today, gone tomorrow. 

Mary Alessi  13:23  
That's right. 

Steve Alessi  13:24  
But was a lifetime and now two lifetimes moving into a third lifetime. That just needed to be intentionally recognized. 

Mary Alessi  13:38  
Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  13:38  
And so it gives us great joy, gives us a healthy pride, to be able to say the Alessi name will be in the community because of what happened in two generations. And now what's going to happen in the third generation. 

Mary Alessi  13:58  
Absolutely.

Steve Alessi  13:59  
That's got to live.

Mary Alessi  14:00  
And you know, something Pepe Diaz said to me when we were at the roadside. He said, You know, it's a miracle that we got this done in the timeframe that we did, it was nothing short of a miracle. And I said why? And he said, Ah, well, you know, bureaucracy, red tape, everything's a snail's pace with government. And he said it shouldn't be. It should just be this is a good man. He's been here for 60 years in this community. He built this building with his own back, worked with parishioners to get it done at cost, has been in this community, saving people's lives, making the community better, was one of the first ones out here before anybody else even had their eye on this community. When you think about that, how many people you know, if you built anything, you know how hard it is.  Just a house, just go build a house, but he he could have built a house he didn't. He lived in a trailer for a while so that he could build God a house. And I said, Well, you know, how did you get it done? And he said, Well, the truth is, because the family has such a clean record. And he said you have to do all this background check, and they have to check and see, did he say anything? Is he done anything? Because every time people drive by that road sign they see his name. 

Steve Alessi  15:09  
Yeah.

Mary Alessi  15:10  
 And they have to make sure it checks out. And I thought, Oh, the irony that politics are going to check out and make sure, you know, I'm like, whatever. And don't don't go there... 

Steve Alessi  15:16  
Be careful.

Mary Alessi  15:17  
Receive it as a miracle. But the truth is, there was clearance, you know, and it's not that Papa was perfect. It's not that he didn't have his areas of indiscretion and some failures along the way. But the word I kept hearing that day, which is why legacy is so important, is the word redeemed. 

Steve Alessi  15:35  
Yep.

Mary Alessi  15:36  
 The mistakes he made, the mistakes people in the family have made, were redeemed. Because choices were made to redeem them. To stay together to fight, and not stop fighting. To not let setbacks cause him to quit or to give up on the family. And when I look at the whole big picture now that Papa is in heaven, my perception has changed so dramatically about the hiccups and the failures of a man along the way. 

Steve Alessi  16:02  
Yeah. 

Mary Alessi  16:03  
I don't even it's you know, it's obviously we say, this is not how you start. It's how you finish. And it's very, very true. And we can say when we drive by that sign, it's not whether the man is deserving, because we know all the glory goes to God. But the reality is the principles that were in place, the decisions that were made...we're all together as a family because he and your mom made decisions that a lot of people refuse to make. And so we're really--- it's legacy. But it's also showing our children the way.  It's a monument. It's a reminder, every time they leave Whole Foods and spend way too much money for groceries, and they drive past that... either they're working at that office, or they're driving home, coming either whichever direction they're coming, that that's a man in their bloodline that made decisions along the way to take God at His Word, and to do the right thing, and to stand strong and to stay committed to the original decisions he made when he was a 30 year old man.

Steve Alessi  17:02  
 Yep. 

Mary Alessi  17:03  
No, no. Was he perfect everyday? No. But he stayed on course.

Steve Alessi  17:08  
 Yep.

Mary Alessi  17:08  
 And he did finish the race. Well, and there's a scripture verse that we quote, as ministers, if you put your hand to the plow, and you look back, you're not fit. 

Steve Alessi  17:17  
Yeah. 

Mary Alessi  17:17  
And one of the things that sign said to me was, God redeemed it all. 

Steve Alessi  17:21  
Yep. 

Mary Alessi  17:22  
all the good, the bad, the ugly. And this is a sign of what it looks like. These are the ones who honor they put their hand to the plow. And they don't look back.

Steve Alessi  17:30  
 Yeah. 

Mary Alessi  17:31  
And for me, and I could sob thinking about it, but I'm not, it's the podcast, I'm gonna keep it together.  I also think about how right after that, I went to Waco, Texas to visit Magnolia and Chip and Joanna Gaines, who have made such an incredible impact around the world with home design. And when you go to Waco, nothing against Waco, I've got friends in Waco, it is not a pretty town. Y

Steve Alessi  17:52  
Yeah. 

Mary Alessi  17:53  
It's not a place people want to go live and raise their kids. But one couple have made a decision, they're going to make the place where they are better. And do it for the glory of God. And unless you go visit there, you don't know that about them. They're not just... HGTV Hollywood stars, they're not. They are a couple that are really building a monument that's been more memorable because it's making an impact. And we should do the same for families, for churches, for people that are saying, I put my hand to the plow for the Kingdom. And I made the community better. People got saved here, set free here. Children got raised in this church. They're on course to live a life that's free and that's happy. Their marriages are together. Because John Alessi made a decision with Ann Alessi to start a church when they did not know what the heck they were doing. But they trusted God. And that sign says all of that. 

Steve Alessi  18:44  
Yep.

Mary Alessi  18:44  
 In one word.

Steve Alessi  18:45  
It does. And it speaks of when we say legacy. And you got to think of longevity...

Mary Alessi  18:51  
that's right. 

Steve Alessi  18:52  
Because a lot of other guys came to town, thought they heard from God to come to this area, only to stay temporarily and move on to a ground that was easier to harvest than in South Florida. Come and start something from nothing. That's right. And try to stay with it in the religious community. 

Mary Alessi  19:11  
Yes. 

Steve Alessi  19:11  
We're not hirelings. 

Mary Alessi  19:12  
No. 

Steve Alessi  19:13  
 we in our line of work us the Alessis, we are not hirelings. Nobody hired us. Nobody can fire -  fire us. We are apostles, we have that, meaning we go into an area, we establish something and we work hard, day in, day out to build what is in our heart to build. That had to be recognized and honored. And that's why we were pushing that through. I, I was... I was excited to come alongside of our commissioner and say, Come on, let's get this thing done. And for him to jump through the hoops that he jumped through to make it happen was just a real, a real blessing. And I thank him for that. But let's talk about something for a sec. Because we're talking really about a name that sits on that street. So if we could put a title to this particular podcast, it almost be like what's in a name? 

Mary Alessi  20:08  
Yeah.

Steve Alessi  20:08  
 Because what is in the name that allows us to go and get our local government to make this sign and put it out there and declare that area of road is going to be honored in this person's name? So Mary, what is in a name? And I think it starts with this. A name gives a person identity. 

Mary Alessi  20:28  
That's right. 

Steve Alessi  20:29  
And that word identity means I identify with.

Mary Alessi  20:36  
Right.

Steve Alessi  20:38  
 So in our line of work, the name Alessi when you think of it now, it's not the salt shakers that you see.

Mary Alessi  20:48  
Although we wish we own stock in that..

Steve Alessi  20:50  
... or the bakery thatis in Tampa. 

Mary Alessi  20:53  
 right. 

Steve Alessi  20:53  
Or the leather that you'd find in Italy. Our name represents ministry. 

Mary Alessi  20:59  
Yeah. The Kingdom. 

Steve Alessi  21:01  
Yes. And that helped me throughout my life. When I thought I wanted to be a police officer. I was reminded because I'm an Alessi. Here's what I identify with. I respect law enforcement, but my life is to identify with kingdom. 

Mary Alessi  21:18  
That's right. Kingdom builders. 

Steve Alessi  21:19  
 Kingdom builders, right, my kids? 

Mary Alessi  21:21  
That's right. 

Steve Alessi  21:22  
If they're in Alessi, their lives identify with the same thing. 

Mary Alessi  21:28  
Yes. 

Steve Alessi  21:28  
So there's something in a name that gives us identity. And in our case, you think of Alessi when my kids drive by it and others. They're thinking religious, they're thinking righteous, they're thinking godly, they're thinking ministry. It's not sports, when you look at that name, it's not all business in the sense of business. When you think of that name, it's that. What does that then mean to people in their families today? To make sure they're passing on legacy through their name. 

Mary Alessi  22:00  
That's right. 

Steve Alessi  22:01  
It helps the next generation identify with all that is right. 

Yeah. 

In the....from the previous generation,

Mary Alessi  22:10  
And we're, we've definitely lost something in this culture and in this climate, and everyone knows it, if you don't know it, you live under a rock that we are losing fast... being in touch with identity. And, you know, that's really tough when you say that to a single mom, who... What do ...what does she pass on? Well, she does still pass on her name and who she is, by staying true to the principles that will get her the same fruit and the same results that get you and I. We're still Kingdom builders. So when it comes to family units that are making a decision, you know, listening to this podcast, saying, that's what I want, I want that. You're just starting out, I'm not married yet. That's what I want. Good. Make decisions that lead you to that start that culture. Right now. That's those are your core values, even before you get married, have those core values for yourself, that you are going to marry someone who appreciates those same values and you're fighting for the sake of building not your own kingdom, you're building God's, but a family that you identify with that strong and secure. And kids are raised up knowing who they are, knowing the role that dad plays, knowing the role that mom plays. And the truth is, you know, that might not be difficult, as we've said, yes, it's work. But wow, does it pay off! You know, when we had that unveiling? I can't say it enough. People don't know what has gone into that moment. The fight, the struggle, the the setbacks, the days of wanting to quit, but guess what? Didn't. Stay faithful stayed focused. Yeah. And what that means at the end of that of what's in a name? Strength, longevity, a sense of real confidence. And the truth is, there's not a teenager on the planet that doesn't want to know where they come from and where they belong. We all want to know who we are and who we come from. 

Steve Alessi  24:09  
You and I know there's a there's an enemy of our soul. We know that. And what he wants to try to do is jack up your identity. 

Mary Alessi  24:17  
Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  24:17  
He wants to remove the one who carried the name out of the family. So divorce is rampant. And the child doesn't know who to identify with. He wants to go back to some of our forefathers and destro the monuments that is in their name like Jefferson and like Washington. They want to wipe all of that out of our memory. That's right, because the.... the enemy of our soul doesn't want us to look at the good the person has done. They want to try to bring up a little bad that the person has done and allow that to be removed - remembered. But every man is human. Every man is flawed. There's no perfect scenario. So if the enemy of our soul can wipe out the identity of the name of the person that we received our name from, then we find ourselves unsettled. We don't know who to identify with. And then we're looking at people that won't be in our lives in the next five or 10 years. And we're going to identify with that? 

Mary Alessi  25:24  
Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  25:24  
No, there's something about legacy that has to be intentional. And if you're going to do it, it requires honoring the name right from whence you came. Here's a beautiful picture. We're gonna put up on screen here of all of us out there on that particular day. And families in front, mom's right in the middle, she's so cute. She's leaning up against that pole. 

Mary Alessi  25:46  
Leaning against the pole...

Steve Alessi  25:47  
 My uncle is to her left. Pepe Diaz is there, my cousin, of course, our staff and our family. And it was a great day, Reverend John Alessi Street. What a crazy afternoon that was, here's something else, a name gives you Mary. It gives you security, right? When you know who's you are. 

Mary Alessi  26:09  
 That's right.

Steve Alessi  26:10  
You don't have to go try to find and make out or figure out who you are.

Mary Alessi  26:15  
 You know who you belong to, you

Steve Alessi  26:16  
know who you belong to? You see your roots tell you that you've come from someone.  

Mary Alessi  26:22  
Yeah.

Steve Alessi  26:24  
 And I would encourage all of those hearing this. Look at the good the people you have come from had in their life. 

Mary Alessi  26:35  
Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  26:37  
Don't focus on the negative now, don't focus on the bad. Look at the good that that individual has brought you to because that right there, knowing your name brings security and stability to a person's life. They... they can identify with something that brings them strength. And why do we have so many people unstable today? We have people running crazy with their emotions that now, if their emotions are causing them depression, there's medication they were holding them up. And well, let's not ask them to rise to the level of their best instead, let's just pamper them where they're at. And we write we come around them. Yes, I got it. Mental illness is tough. And depression is hard. You got to deal with it. But you don't have to live there.

Mary Alessi  27:27  
 No. 

Steve Alessi  27:28  
Let's -  let's figure out a way to help you get stronger. It's all coming down to insecurity. And they really don't know who they belong to. 

Mary Alessi  27:37  
That's right. 

Steve Alessi  27:38  
That name has been taken away. But we know where our name ,there's security. 

Mary Alessi  27:42  
That's right. 

Steve Alessi  27:43  
You'll hear our kids say, Hey, my mom and dad would say to us as Alessis,  this is what we do. 

Mary Alessi  27:50  
That's right.

Steve Alessi  27:50  
And this is what we don't do.

Mary Alessi  27:51  
 That's right. 

Steve Alessi  27:52  
Why? Because it gave them something to stay secure in. Let me, let me attach myself to that name. 

Mary Alessi  27:59  
That's right. 

Steve Alessi  28:00  
Because the name represents a certain type of life that I should be living. And I'm secure with that. 

Mary Alessi  28:04  
That's right. 

Steve Alessi  28:04  
Why is there such thing as adoption? Yeah, you take somebody that didn't have a name, somebody that doesn't know what their history is, and you give them a name. And you're saying, all right, we're going to help you with the tough beginning that you had, we're going to give your name, it's going to help bring you security throughout your life. 

Mary Alessi  28:26  
That's right. That's right. 

Steve Alessi  28:28  
You wanna  say something?

Mary Alessi  28:29  
I was gonna say, you have three daughters that won't continue on with the Alessi name, but yet they are still Alessis in their core values as to how they were raised. So I don't want anybody to get stuck on "Oh, but that's, you know, I have a different last name or I don't really know who my parent is." The truth is, it's what you stand on. It's the principles you're raised with within that family unit that is what last you forever and ever and ever. That's the legacy that's left. It's those principles and those values.

Steve Alessi  28:58  
I - maybe it's because I have my three daughters now, one of them's getting married, got married. I don't think it's a bad thing for the young lady to keep that last name in the middle of their name. I mean, you -  people change their name all the time. Steph is Stephanie. Good gosh, I forgot her left -  Last Name. Stephanie. Elaine Alessi. She she puts Stephanie she wants to be referred to Stephanie Elaine Alessi Muina. Well in the sense 

Mary Alessi  29:31  
yeah.

Steve Alessi  29:32  
What? 

Mary Alessi  29:33  
She took Elaine out. 

Steve Alessi  29:34  
She took Elaine out. 

Mary Alessi  29:35  
Yeah, that's my middle name. She took that out.

Steve Alessi  29:37  
...and replaced it with Alessi. 

Mary Alessi  29:38  
She did .

Steve Alessi  29:39  
So why is that important? Because again...

Mary Alessi  29:41  
Identity.

Steve Alessi  29:42  
  It's identity. Keep that in place which is precious to be able to keep that and your grandchild or your children will know what that name represents. That it's, it's in our DNA. It's, It's who we are. So bring security. I'll also say this Mary that a name gives you a future. 

Mary Alessi  30:01  
It does. 

Steve Alessi  30:03  
The name you had yesterday, that's been passed on to you, gives you a future. See, what it's telling you is you're bigger, your life is bigger than just yourself. 

Mary Alessi  30:15  
Right. 

Steve Alessi  30:16  
You, you have to keep a standard about you. If your father was educated, and you carry his name, then you want to be educated because it's passed on to you. And you're thinking, all right. I want that in my future. 

Mary Alessi  30:33  
That's right. 

Steve Alessi  30:33  
I want an education. I don't want to be crippled. I want to have my feet under me. I want some security. I got a great future. 

Mary Alessi  30:44  
Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  30:45  
That shows us what the future can look like. Now, if you want to go biblically, biblical here. ..Bible, the Bible is all shows us that God is all about preserving the name. That's why he talks about Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. You mentioned at home today about wells that were built. 

Mary Alessi  31:08  
Yes. 

Steve Alessi  31:08  
And they were named after the man who built it. 

Mary Alessi  31:11  
That's right. 

Steve Alessi  31:12  
Dug it,  Jacob's Well,  that even Jesus goes to. There's always that connection in the Bible to names. 

Mary Alessi  31:21  
That's right. 

Steve Alessi  31:22  
Why do we have books of the Bible named after men? That's right, because there's something about the name. 

Mary Alessi  31:29  
Yeah. 

Steve Alessi  31:30  
In Jerusalem, the city of David, the name and he wasn't perfect. You don't have to look for perfection for this know, the city of David. Why? Because there's something about a name. And when you hear the name, you identify with the life.

Mary Alessi  31:47  
...and the history, the story...

Steve Alessi  31:49  
that's it...

Mary Alessi  31:49  
of what that place represents, which is so incredible to leave for your children and your children's children. And the the community that's impacted by it, to be able to leave a story on this corner on this street. Right here. This is where lives were changed. This is where families were impacted.

Steve Alessi  32:08  
Yeah. I can't say about everyone, but I will say about me, this has nothing to do with ego.

Mary Alessi  32:14  
Not at all.

Steve Alessi  32:15  
 It has everything to do with intentionality.

Mary Alessi  32:17  
Right.

Steve Alessi  32:17  
...of legacy. And I'm finding more and more healthy pride, yeah, at this season of my life, to the Alessi name, to recognizing that I have this responsibility to get it to the next generation. It's the long game for me. 

Mary Alessi  32:35  
Sure. 

Steve Alessi  32:35  
It's not what I do just today, or this week, or next month. It's what I'm doing at the end of this year, and the year after that, five years down the road, 10 years down the road as well. So that means everything. So we were honored to be able to put dad's name of honor up there. And now every time I drive by it, I'm reminded, I've got a lot to still live up to. And my kids have a lot to live up to. So I hope our listeners, our podience, will embrace their name. Make it special. See the legacy attached to it. Let it lead you, let it bring you identity, let it gives you security and allow it to schedule and look at forecasting your future. Well, that's enough from us today on the Alessi family... business podcasts.

Mary Alessi  33:32  
Say one more time, say it again.

Steve Alessi  33:33  
I can't... the business podcast -  family business podcast. What is up here? With the Alessi. Thanks for joining us today.

Chris Alessi  33:44  
You've just enjoyed another episode of the family business podcast with the Alessis and we can't thank you enough for being a part of our podience. It's now that you've heard more about the Alessi, we want you to join in the family business. And here are four easy ways to do just that. One, make sure to follow the show right now on your app and download this episode so you can hear it at any time. Two, rate our show and leave a review. We love reading your reviews and we often share them on the show. Three, share this episode with someone who could use this advice and tell them why you enjoyed it. And lastly four,  you can go to Alessifamilybusiness.com and leave us a voicemail comment or even a question so we can answer it on a future show. We'll see you here for our next episode at the Family Business with the Alessis because family is everybody's business.