Your Family Vision: How to See It, Share It and Make It a Reality | S3 E4

Steve Alessi  

Welcome to another episode of The Family Business with the Alessis. I'm so glad you are with us this year as we kick off a new season of podcasts, Mary, with our audience, as well as the New Year. 

 

Mary Alessi  

Yes.

 

Steve Alessi  

New year, new you, new life. 

 

Mary Alessi  

New us. 

 

Steve Alessi  

New us. Good things are happening in the coming year. I'm pretty excited about it all.

 

Mary Alessi  

I like 2022 already. 

 

Steve Alessi  

Yes, me too. 

 

Mary Alessi  

I like the year. I like what it feels like. I like where we're going. It feels different than 2021. Certainly different than 2020, but that's way too far back.

 

Steve Alessi  

Yeah. Well, we got a— seems like, right? We've got a few weeks under our belt here, working and getting things done, days. I don't know about you, but it is fun as vacationing was during the holidays. I do like, not because I need it, per se, but I do like being back in the flow of let's get going. 

 

Mary Alessi  

Yes. 

 

Steve Alessi  

Let's see what we can do this year.

 

Mary Alessi  

Routine. Uninterrupted routine.

 

Steve Alessi  

Everybody needs a new— a fresh start. 

 

Mary Alessi  

We do. 

 

Steve Alessi  

There's nothing wrong with that. 

 

Mary Alessi  

No.

 

Steve Alessi  

Now, you've already been busy. You came out of a huge Christmas season. But then you jumped right back into another type of shopping experience, where you just were in Atlanta. What are you preparing for? Another venture that we're adding to our family business... 

 

Mary Alessi  

Creative dream. 

 

Steve Alessi  

Yeah, that's good.

 

Mary Alessi  

I'm excited about it.

 

Steve Alessi  

Yeah, I'm glad you did that, Mary. That's very motivating. Very motivating. 

 

Mary Alessi  

That means a lot. 

 

Steve Alessi  

Yeah, as a husband, to see my wife jump up at the beginning of the year, I know you're tired from the travels still, the fog of the holiday. But to see you jump into what you want to do this year is motivating for me.

 

Mary Alessi  

You know, that is not something that I would have ever said was like— 

 

Steve Alessi  

Are you at a loss for words? 

 

Mary Alessi  

I'm kind of— Well, I'm tired from— Very busy. No, I was going to say it, and it sounded bad. Like, I wouldn't have set a goal in my life to motivate you. But it's pretty cool to think that my goals motivate your goals, because I can tell you, over the years, yours have certainly motivated mine. Building churches and meeting with bankers, and doing things that I would have been terrified to do on my own. I don't even know that I would have gotten that far. But you always had a lot of courage to do big things. So, I was kind of cool to think I've motivated you a little bit. 

 

Steve Alessi  

Yeah, you did, instead of irritating me with those new goals, or new things you want to tackle this year.

 

Mary Alessi  

Doing and not talking about it. 

 

Steve Alessi  

Yeah. 

 

Mary Alessi  

Yeah. It's a big difference, which is what we're going to talk about today.

 

Steve Alessi  

Yeah, yes, we are. So, here we are. We're talking about things here in the podcasts that we can't talk about on Sunday. And a lot of it has to do with family. So, we call our podcasts, The Family Business with the Alessis, because family is everybody's business. 

 

And I'm getting a great response already in some of our New Year podcasts, I've got some great texts from some people, already watching and listening, and telling me how much it really helped them with kicking this year off. So, to us, this is like second nature. It's what we're required to do to lead our business, which is the church world. 

 

We know we need to be out ahead because we're pastors, we're the leaders. So we have to have a vision for where we want the organization to go. That's just, kind of, part of what we do. And that's what I like, I love being able to get down, find out with my ear to the ground where are we going to go in the coming year. 

 

But we also, when we break this down from a family perspective, we also, since we work together, we have to include our kids in the process of planning, and not just planning, but getting a vision for what they can do in their individual departments, as well as come alongside of us and help us accomplish what the business needs to accomplish. So when we do that— you may want to get a little closer to your mic when we do that, we include the family.

 

Mary Alessi  

We do. They go with us. They dream with us. They plan with us. We throw those ideas at them. And sometimes they're, like, "Are you crazy?" But what's great is to see that they jump on board, because I think all of us, instinctively, and especially our kids, they want to be led, you know? We want somebody to motivate and inspire us to do things that might be, just churning, on the inside of us. 

 

So, when we're with vision, and we pitch ideas, and things that we want to do, this is where we're going as a family, or this is what we're doing as a church, they jump on board, and that's where they get to hone their skill. So, if we don't have those dreams, and those ideas, you could easily get to a dormant place. But it's been really amazing to watch our four young adult kids thrive in gifts that they didn't even really realize they had, just because of a vision that we had, to go bigger, do something greater, something different. 

 

And it's just really neat to watch. It's giving them an opportunity to develop gifts, and put that— We put the pressure on them that they put on themselves to really expand their own dreams, and how high can they go. There's always more in us, than we think there is.

 

Steve Alessi  

Yeah, part of our dynamic as a family is always talking about where we can be, because of a principle base that we hold on to, which we pick up from the Bible. They're always out ahead of us, we're always trying to pursue them, it's not something that we always are able to navigate in the now, sometimes we make mistakes, and we stumble, and fall along the way. 

 

But we do our best to stay ahead with those principles. So, they're always out ahead of us, which is a natural dynamic, then, to leading you, you have to have that in place. So, that also has to occur with the future, a vision for people's lives. How do I have a vision for our life, my life, our family, our business? And if it is, the family working in the business together, how are we helping our family lock into the vision that we have? 

 

So, part of it is, yes, we constantly talk about where we're going, not just dealing with the stuff that we're struggling with, or that we're working on that the present project. But when you say we share this with our family, I can't say that it's just, "Okay, let's all sit down family, we're going to have a vision casting meeting." 

 

Mary Alessi  

No. 

 

Steve Alessi  

We don't do that. But we are sharing, and I guess, from a parent's perspective, we're just not keeping the vision to ourselves. 

 

Mary Alessi  

No.

 

Steve Alessi  

I'm just not keeping the vision for this organization to myself. I'm sharing it with you. I'm bouncing it off you. I'm bouncing it off the kids, and my son, who's now a young man, and my daughters who are women, I'm bouncing it off of them. And I'm watching Muina, the son-in-law, respond, and Richelle, and I'm picking up little feelings along the way. Because I'm sharing the vision that we have for an organization. But at the same time that stirring up vision for their own life.

 

Mary Alessi  

So, that is such a brilliant, simple thing, that I think most people leave on the table. They don't understand, when you're working with your family, if you really do truly want a family that honors and respects one another, the young adults, and the in law kids, respect you as mom and dad, when you just share what you see for your own life, and you are open enough to share with them, it stirs enough up within themselves. 

 

It's so easy for us. And I think it's human nature to say, "Oh, our kids don't care about that. They don't want to hear about the idea that I have, they don't care." And they might act like they don't, but they do. And when you're on fire for something, not just talking, but walking it out. You can't have a house without plants. You can't get a car, you can talk about a dream car, but you've got to make plans and have the money, go to the dealer and do the deal to get the car. 

 

I don't care what it is, you don't just— we don't just walk in and, boom, there it is. You have to talk about it, you have to plan for it. And there's nothing greater for the people that we have the greatest influence on, which is our family members, there's nothing greater for their own lives, than for them to see us, not only talk about visions, and dreams, and ideas, but to see us walk them out. And it can't be, "Well this is what Dad's doing," mom and dad, and we have our own life. 

 

No, we're constantly teaching. We're constantly instilling in them, "This is how you do it," so that they don't think it's just, "Well, one day, when I get to 50." No, you can start right now. And it's the small that leads to the big, it's the menial, that leads to the fruit. You've got to sow the menial seeds, and water, and take care of it every day, to get to the big harvest that you're asking for. 

 

But when we, just as, either parents, or family members, I've got my thing, and you've got your thing. We don't really get the benefit of learning from one another. But when we do, we see this with our kids, when we're sharing, we're going to remodel something, or we're going to start a new campus, or we're going to do something, the first ones we sit down and share it with our kids. 

 

And we don't let their first reaction have any influence on whether or not we're going to take this ball down the field. We're going, and they're watching, and they're hearing, and they're listening. Not all the good stuff, but they're also in the belly of the beast, because they're watching the day by day tasks that we have to do to get where we said we're going to go. And they're watching that, and they're learning from it. And then, hopefully what they're saying is, "Man, if mom and dad can do that, we've got to do that, and then some."

 

Steve Alessi  

Yeah. You know, it's funny because Chris and I were talking this week, just something simple as this. Talking about how we always can talk, share with them. Chris was saying, "Dad, what's really a vacation in our family? What is really a vacation where we do not disconnect from what we're doing in the business?" 

 

Mary Alessi  

Right. 

 

Steve Alessi  

There's a few of them that we get to take, you know, we're able to get away, Charleston was like, "No, there is no church talk, there is no talking about vision." We just had fun and enjoyed the holidays. But time's up at the farm, we're always on our computers.

 

Mary Alessi  

Dreaming, casting, building.

 

Steve Alessi  

We're talking about staff, we're trying to figure what departments, we're— it's always work related. Because the vision has to always be out there. I would say this to a parent that doesn't feel like it's their role, per se, to— or they're not thinking, "I need to even share the vision for my own life with my kids or help them find a vision." Here's my thought, if you're not doing it, who is? Somebody is setting a vision— 

 

Mary Alessi  

Thank you. 

 

Steve Alessi  

— for your kid's life. And there's a biblical principle we follow that says, train up a child in the way that they would go, so then, when they are older, they will not depart from it. What we don't want is an educator— That's not the job of an educator, to set the vision for your kid's life. It's not the job of their friends—

 

Mary Alessi  

Or an influencer. 

 

Steve Alessi  

To set the direction or vision for a kid's life, or some social media, Hollywood person, that is out there setting the vision. I'm reminded of Gabby going to an event not too long ago, and because Gabby is so strong in her personality, and leadership, and so forth. A parent came over to her, a very well, to do parent and said, "Would you please talk to my kid?" 

 

And sat down and started telling Gabby all the things that she needed to talk to her kid about, slow down, sweetie. She told Gabby all these things, and then she offered, "I'll even pay you to have some one-on-one time with my kid." And Gaby's like, "I can't do that. That's that's not how it works. I'm not going to let you throw your money away. That's not how you get your kid on board." 

 

Parents, we can't leave it up to some youth director. 

 

Mary Alessi  

No, no, no. 

 

Steve Alessi  

Some boss, some teacher, professor, educator, some friend, we can't do that. We should say to our kids, "Let's talk about the vision for our future. Here's the vision for our future. Here's where I'm going." And especially, if you run an organization, you've got to get everybody on the same page. Because, I promise you, if you're working with a younger generation, they are going to try to present to you visions that they're picking up from some other influencer that looks so cool on social media, and this is how you have to do it. 

 

When you're the head of the family, head of the organization, you need to know what your vision is. Because, if you don't have a vision for your life, somebody else will set your vision. 

 

Mary Alessi  

And listen—

 

Steve Alessi  

You better say that was great, because that was very cool.

 

Mary Alessi  

I was getting ready to say that. 

 

Steve Alessi  

Okay, say it. 

 

Mary Alessi  

That was great. 

 

Steve Alessi  

Thank you, that was profound. 

 

Mary Alessi  

Because it just started me up in thinking about how imperative it is, as parents, to have vision for your life. Because you have your kids watching. And I don't know why we adopt, as parents— I don't know if it's TV, I don't know where we get this mentality that our kids don't care what we're doing. They don't care who we are. They don't care what we do.

 

Steve Alessi  

Oh, yeah. Good. 

 

Mary Alessi  

They need to. 

 

Steve Alessi  

They do. Deep down, they do. 

 

Mary Alessi  

And they do care. You're their only parent, you are their parent, you're their mom, you're their dad. To compartmentalize our worlds is not really helpful, it's important. Maybe you're in a car dealership, maybe you're the manager of a car dealership, and you have a son, and he's not interested in being a car dealer. So what? There's a whole lot of things, working for the car dealership, a lot of wisdom that you've garnered, a whole lot of knowledge you've garnered, pass down what you know to your kid, whether or not they're going to be a car dealer. 

 

I say that because we do turn our kids over to other influential voices, and say, "Learn from them." And we devalue our own. And when we are not sharing our own dreams— First, it starts with us having dreams for ourselves. We will have a much more profitable life, because the Bible even says, without a vision, a dream, the people perish. When you have one for your life. It's easy to pass that on to your kids. And then your kids want to know what's going on in your life. They want to come to you. You are their greatest voice of influence.

 

Steve Alessi  

Okay, so we're hammering this thing out. Let's talk about personal vision. Because, if you have a personal vision, then you can go ahead and work on sharing the same vision with family, and helping family members, or those in the organization grab hold of yours. But, from a personal perspective, let's talk about how to create a vision for our own life as we go into this new year. 

 

What do I want to see happen in 2022, '23, '24, '25? So, it's Vince Lombardi who said that, men decide their habits, but their habits decide their future. So, how do we set ourselves up with a vision to make sure that what we're doing on a daily basis is giving us the future that we want?

 

Mary Alessi  

Yeah. I can only talk from my own personal experience. Can I go there, first? Because I, back, a year ago, almost a year ago, I really wanted to do something that was bigger than anything I'd done before, in a particular area, something that I'd never tapped into the creative side. And that was to open up a store inside our church and have a Christmas store. 

 

I did that simply for the motivation of post-COVID bringing people back home for Christmas. And it was really an inspired idea that just was so heavy on me, I knew I had to do it. The idea in and of itself was so fun to think about, the dreaming side of it was just amazing. And I, you know, it's not a hard stretch to have an idea like that, you know, you go places, and everybody's looking for a Christmas experience. So, why not us? Why not our church? Why not? We're creative, we could do it, our church is amazing, we have an opportunity. 

 

So, it wasn't that big of a stretch to have that idea. But now, the execution of that idea was a completely different thing than the idea itself. So, dreaming about what we could do in the lobby, dreaming about the people that would come dreaming about the desserts we could sell, and the gingerbread milkshakes we could have in the coffee bar, all of that in dream form was as exciting as it could possibly be. 

 

But the execution of that dream is where it really made me stop, and process right on the regular, is this dream something that I have the ability to bring into the reality? Because it was a lot of work. Now, what I learned from that process is, it doesn't matter. I started this engine, we're going to go all the way on this journey. And what made me enjoy the journey more is realizing that I can't have the big dream without the menial tasks. 

 

I can dream all I want about this big landscape of something amazing, but I need to be just as excited when those boxes show up on those huge pallets, and then, they're in the back stockroom, and I run back there with a box cutter, and I start opening every box, and pulling everything out, and looking at the line sheet, making sure we have everything. I can't hate the work part of the dream. I have to love and get excited about the work part of the dream. And I have to get people around me that I infused. 

 

They don't have to come loving to open boxes. But I have to infuse my enthusiasm, because we're going for something. There's a dream at the end of this rainbow. There's a finished product that's so amazing. Now, is that easy? No, it's a mindset. And you just said it, what Vince Lombardi said, it's habits. If I had a mindset where I fall into the habit of, "This is too hard. This is too costly. I didn't know opening boxes would lead me to have to pay for three massages in the middle of it all, because this is such work." 

 

If I kept the right mindset and the right attitude, not only would we reach the goal, which we did, and it was greater than we expected. Yes, more work than I ever anticipated. Yeah. But it's what it's done, what I watched it do was not me being in the stockrooms, loving the— This is my idea, and my dream. But this is part of that. The sweat equity. I'm wearing sweats, and a pair of tennis shoes to work because, today, I'm not Pastor Mary singing, you know, teaching, I'm the stockroom girl, but I love that just as much. 

 

You're waiting for things to come in, and getting it in the stockroom, and taking all the bubble wrap, and popping it and throw it in the garbage. I have to love and be as enthusiastic about all the menial tasks that are backbreaking as I am excited about the big picture of the dream.

 

Steve Alessi  

What you've just done is, given an example as it played out, of what seeing a vision for your life or year looks like. 

 

Mary Alessi  

Yes. 

 

Steve Alessi  

But then, what it takes to get it accomplished. So, you had a vision, you got busy, there's a lot that went into it, you had some people come around you, you did the hard work that it took, at the end of it all, it was successful. And we did something that we had never experienced before. Which reminds me of that old saying, that if you want something you've never had before, you got to do something that you have never done before. 

 

So, here's how we can break this down for our podians. I think, first off, if you want to have a vision for your life, you do have to write it down. 

 

Mary Alessi  

You do. 

 

Steve Alessi  

Write it down, it's not good enough just to think it. 

 

Mary Alessi  

No. 

 

Steve Alessi  

If you think it, you have to ink it, you've got to write it down. They say, a sharp pencil is as powerful as a sharp mind. Doesn't do you good to think on something, and think it's so great, if you don't write it down, because, usually a sharp mind is going to come up with something else, next month, and something else the month after that. And if you don't go back to writing it down, then you'll never move forward with the vision.

 

Mary Alessi  

That's it. That's right. 

 

Steve Alessi  

Even a biblical example of that, as he says, if you've got a vision, now write it down so that you can then run with it. 

 

Mary Alessi  

Right. 

 

Steve Alessi  

So, it's important that first we write this thing down, maybe it's a person's name you're looking to have a relationship with, maybe it's a new job that you want to have, maybe it's an amount of money you want to make, maybe it's a goal of weight, either putting on more muscle, and more weight, or trying to lose it and getting lean. You got to write it down. 

 

When you write it down, you're looking at it on a daily basis. And that's going to help you run with it. Second of all, you— from our line of work, we know we have to ask for divine assistance. 

 

Mary Alessi  

Yeah, you do. 

 

Steve Alessi  

The flesh, the old way, the routine, the rut, doing life in that comfort zone, it's hard for us to get out of it by ourselves. We need help to do so. And the divine assistance that comes when we ask for that help will be given to us.

 

Mary Alessi  

Can I just interject really quick on that part? When I went to the big showrooms, where all the Christmas decor was, where all the big box stores come, some of the private stores, and they buy from, you know, 500,000 square feet, I didn't know where to start. I had never done anything like this before. The truth of the matter is, if you just looked at it from the outside, you'd say, crazy idea. 

 

But I prayed before we walked in, because I knew no one, I didn't even know where to start. And I remember walking through those front doors going, "Okay, God. I need you to lead me to the right people," not to the right things, not to the right opportunities as far as our budget, lead me to the right people where I'm making relationships. 

 

Which is our core value, as a church, and as a family. Help me make relationships with the right people, I will meet the right people, that not only I can get the merchandise I need, but can teach me and show me. And that's exactly what happened. It was just— That was what was so great, to watch that process. But I had to ask, I didn't go in blindly. I really ask for God's help. And I got God's help.

 

Steve Alessi  

When you ask for divine assistance, you're going to get divine direction. 

 

Mary Alessi  

Yes. 

 

Steve Alessi  

It's going to guarantee divine participation, 

 

Mary Alessi  

That's, ah.

 

Steve Alessi  

You're going to get assistance from environments that you did not even know existed. If you go ahead and get the divine involved in what you're trying to do with your life.

 

Mary Alessi  

And it's the most incredible moment, when you see God intervene, because you asked Him to.

 

Steve Alessi  

Yeah. I'm not much into this, but this is important. A dream wall, a vision wall, things. A vision board. How important those things are. If you take some pictures of what you want to look like, go back to those younger days when you were a little thinner, put them somewhere that you can see them regularly. That's going to motivate you. If you want— I don't even want to come across carnal here, okay? 

 

But, but, gosh, if you want a car, go cut out a picture of a car that you want, and put it somewhere. 

 

Mary Alessi  

That's right. 

 

Steve Alessi  

Those vision boards, those dream walls, are so important to help you stay motivated. Because what's going to happen is, the old is going to pull you back. And you can't go forward if you keep doing it the old way. Remember, the secret of your success, Mike Murdock, says, is found in your daily routines. So, you're going to have to look at something to go after it, not just write it down. Put some pictures together. Your brain will get accustomed to seeing that and then— What?

 

Mary Alessi  

Now, you know what you always tell me when we are sitting in the hunting stand. You always tell me, what do you tell me? Practice your shot. Look through the barrel. Look through it. Do you have it? Get a tree, nope.

 

Steve Alessi  

Scope, not the barrel. 

 

Mary Alessi  

Well, you know what I'm talking about. Look through the scope, for all the hunters out there went, "Oh, she said barrel." Um, look to the scope. Make sure it's right. What can you see? Practice seeing, before it ever comes in your line of shot. How many times have we sat there and never saw it? And I still practiced like it was coming. 

 

To me, that's what a vision board is. 

 

Steve Alessi  

It is. 

 

Mary Alessi  

You're practicing, looking for what you want. It's in front of you at all times, you don't know what you want, until you get a picture of what you want. So what are you practicing? Just, that's all. 

 

Steve Alessi  

No, that's important. 

 

Mary Alessi  

Just adding in there for free. 

 

Steve Alessi  

You know what they say with the practice is, the more you practice, it's like muscle memory. It's mind memory, the more you see it, okay? So, this year in this hunting stand, something came out, a nice deer came out. And I was in such a hurry to get the shot off— 

 

Mary Alessi  

Oh, boy. 

 

Steve Alessi  

That I didn't go through all of my—

 

Mary Alessi  

Protocol! Like you tell me to do.

 

Steve Alessi  

Though, I did it before, at the beginning of the hunt, before the animal came out. But I was rushed, took the shot, thought I missed, you remember? And I sent a text all the family, "I can't believe I just missed the deer," only to get out, and go look on the ground. And sure enough, there was blood, I found I did hit the deer because the muscle memory kicked in. 

 

Mary Alessi  

That's it.

 

Steve Alessi  

When I didn't have a chance to go through all of the protocol, because of how quickly I had to get it. 

 

Mary Alessi  

You got to practice seeing. 

 

Steve Alessi  

That's what a dream board— 

 

Mary Alessi  

I love it. 

 

Steve Alessi  

Yeah. A vision board, dream wall, will give you. Then this, Mary. You have to determine wins along the way. That's what scales are for. Anybody that's trying to lose weight, or gain weight, put on muscle, take— you know, get lean. They have a scale, and they jump on it, if not once a day, which is not good because it could get frustrating. But once a week, and then, after a while, once a month. What are you looking for on that scale? 

 

You are looking for wins, wins. W-I-N-S. Where did I win this month? That's why I think monthly wins need to be determined in advance. How am I doing with my money? If I'm trying to save so much money, I'm looking at that bank account, not every day, but I'm looking at it, at least once a month, to say, "Do I have more in it today than I had last month?" Okay? 

 

You have to determine monthly wins as you put forth this vision for your life. And then, you're going to have to go ahead and pursue this. 

 

Mary Alessi  

Right? 

 

Steve Alessi  

It's not passion if there's no pursuit. Okay, and this is what you were talking about. 

 

Mary Alessi  

That's right. 

 

Steve Alessi  

You were willing to step out of the normal role, your comfort zone, as Pastor Mary in the office, dressed up, hair done right, and everything. You were willing to give that up, because you were passionate about this vision. 

 

Mary Alessi  

That's right. 

 

Steve Alessi  

So you got busy doing things you never did before. 

 

Mary Alessi  

And you won't lose the weight, you won't build the business, you won't buy the car, you won't have the Spotify— Not Spotify, Shopify account, whatever your dream is on social media, whatever it is, without the hard stuff. Without having to be the one that's opening those boxes. You don't get the dream without the hard tasks, the menial, the mundane, the stuff you don't want to get up and do. 

 

But it has to drive you, in order to reach, and fulfill the goal that you have. The truth is, I thought about this as you were talking about weight. I have said now, this is my third year, well, second, coming around to the third, that I have said that by Easter I'm going to wear a certain outfit. I'm going to wear it, I'm going to be in shaped by then. This will be my third Easter, if I don't reach that goal this Easter, then, It's been three years. Now, by osmosis, am I going to reach that goal? 

 

No. I know what I have to do. I have to set in motion the stuff I don't want to do, that I hate, that, oh, my goodness, I'm getting hives thinking about it. But if that really is my goal, I can't just talk about it. If I really keep saying it, then I've got to do it. Otherwise, I just keep pushing back Easter. I'm going to go, "Oh, whatever, I'll just wear all black on Easter. Forget it. I missed it." And I missed it again. But at what point am I committed enough to myself, and committed enough to my word, that I will treat myself right and reach that goal? 

 

Steve Alessi  

That's good. 

 

Mary Alessi  

This Easter.

 

Steve Alessi  

Yes. So, your pursuit really is determined by your passion. And that means, every day I'm doing something, in one way or another, to move. 

 

Mary Alessi  

To get there. 

 

Steve Alessi  

To move closer to my goal. Then something else is going to be important. If you're going to have a vision for your life that's different than the one you currently have, then you're going to have to find friends, and people around you, that are different than the ones that you currently have. People don't like that, but here's what we learned over the years: New relationships for us always mean new levels. 

 

Mary Alessi  

That's right.

 

Steve Alessi  

That we're about to step into. And it's a sign from the Divine. 

 

Mary Alessi  

Yes.

 

Steve Alessi  

Get ready, I'm taking you somewhere. So, you have to look around, look around at uncommon people, uncommon relationships for you, because those uncommon relationships, that are not in your life right now, they are going to bring you towards the vision. And it's not that you're using people, you know, "Oh, I just can't— I want to have a relationship with this person just so I can get to my goal." 

 

This is your life. 

 

Mary Alessi  

That's right. 

 

Steve Alessi  

Hey, if if you're hanging around people that are not pursuing the same goals as you, then you need another outside influence to come in and help you get there. 

 

Mary Alessi  

That's right. 

 

Steve Alessi  

So, if all of my friends are a little heavier than I like being, okay? Because I'm comfortable with them. 

 

Mary Alessi  

Yes. 

 

Steve Alessi  

I better look around if I want to get better, and get leaner, lose some weight, and bulk up a little bit. 

 

Mary Alessi  

Got to get around the right people. 

 

Steve Alessi  

I'd better find the guy that's ripped. 

 

Mary Alessi  

That's right. 

 

Steve Alessi  

So that when I get around, it me makes me a little uncomfortable.

 

Mary Alessi  

And I will say, if I can do it, you can do it, put the pressure on you. See, and I think that's the other part that makes us quit our dreams. We don't like the pressure of what the daily grind to get that dream requires. You don't like the pressure. And so, you don't invite people into your life that put pressure on you. You repel them, you reject them, you find reasons to disagree with them, why they're wrong, why they're— you don't have chemistry with them. 

 

And it's all because you don't agree. And maybe you need to step back. I know you and I have processed this, where a new idea, or a new divine thought, that God gives us with this next level, and then a new relationship comes, that makes us a little uncomfortable, because they push us, just their lifestyle pushes us, the fact that, the thing that we might be making a big deal, they've done it five times. 

 

You know? And you're what's— 

 

Steve Alessi  

Those are great people. 

 

Mary Alessi  

They're great people. 

 

Steve Alessi  

Those are great people. 

 

Mary Alessi  

And they'll put pressure on you, and you have to learn to love that, and invite that, and be willing to pay for that, sometimes. Put some money in that. 

 

Steve Alessi  

Yeah, I worked— You know, I've done some health-coaching over the years, and you've helped people outside with the oils to help better their lives... 

 

Mary Alessi  

Essential oils, yes.

 

Steve Alessi  

And so forth, you know, what I've found is that a lot of people don't want a coach. 

 

Mary Alessi  

No. 

 

Steve Alessi  

They want to talk about what they can perceive in the physical realm, but they don't want the accountability of a coach that's on them, daily, or every other day, from texts, or calls, to say, "Hey, how you doing with yourself?" 

 

Mary Alessi  

Pressure. 

 

Steve Alessi  

They don't like that. 

 

Mary Alessi  

They don't want the pressure.

 

Steve Alessi  

They don't want the— They really don't. They say they want the vision for their life. That's what I love about our South Florida community. We got a lot of talkers, big talkers. 

 

Mary Alessi  

I love our people.

 

Steve Alessi  

I love our people, not our people we see, I'm talking about South Florida. Okay?

 

Mary Alessi  

Right. The culture here. 

 

Steve Alessi  

A lot of talkers. Yeah, it's a lot of talking, few doers. 

 

Mary Alessi  

Now, it's true. 

 

Steve Alessi  

And I've always been drawn to the doers. And I so appreciate that, because it motivates me towards my dreams, and my vision for my life, which then ends with this: If you're going to have a vision for your life, you got to be a finisher, commit to finishing. It's easy to start something, not so much to finish. I see people that buy a brand-new car. 

 

Mary Alessi  

That's right. 

 

Steve Alessi  

They love it for about a month, it's clean. There's no garbage anywhere in the floorboard, they vacuum it, it's clean on their own, give it about two or three months, and it starts to look like the old, because they quit pursuing excellence. They quit pursuing the new that they've just been given. We have to be a finisher. 

 

Mary Alessi  

Yes. 

 

Steve Alessi  

I say to our staff member the other day, we are talking about just stuff as simple as how we organize a storage unit, and I said, make it the one touch policy. 

 

Mary Alessi  

I love this. 

 

Steve Alessi  

When you put your hand on something, walk into that place, don't just drop it on the floor— 

 

Mary Alessi  

Don't get to it later. 

 

Steve Alessi  

Don't put it on your desk, don't get that mail and look at it, and then put it on the counter. No. Immediately, when you have it in your hand the first time, do what you're going to do with it. If it's going to be put on a shelf, make room for the shelf right then, put it on the shelf. Put it in your— if you're going to have a bill that needs to be paid, it came in the mail, don't just drop it, put it to the place where the first thing you do is pay that bill. 

 

Mary Alessi  

I love it. 

 

Steve Alessi  

Move forward with a one touch policy. What are we saying? Be a finisher. Don't jus start something and then stop along the way because you get distracted.

 

Mary Alessi  

No. 

 

Steve Alessi  

You got to finish.

 

Mary Alessi  

That's been my Achilles heel, and I, honestly, I'm committing to this, as you know, I've gotten way better. 

 

Steve Alessi  

I so love you. 

 

Mary Alessi  

But I am committed to being better, because I know that is the kryptonite to fulfilling the dreams. It's the little things. It's not the big things. It's— The Christmas store is up and running, but what does it look like when it's closed? Are things put away properly? And I love this saying, it's a new one, I don't know who gave it, but I love it. Finished is perfect. 

 

You're waiting for perfection? Finished is perfect. 

 

Steve Alessi  

That's good. 

 

Mary Alessi  

It's finished. It's done. It's wrapped up. It's tied up. It's put away. That's perfect. But when we leave a lot of things undone, because it isn't perfect, and we don't have the right boxes to put it in, or we don't have the right places, finished is perfect. And I heard someone say that is a multimillionaire, young woman, on social media, selling tea bags. She said, if you're waiting for something to be packaged perfectly, to get it out, what they've learned in marketing, and what they've learned in people that do very well, in that particular line of work, is, if you're waiting for it to be perfect before you get it out, it's too late. 

 

And that really struck me, because I'm not a perfectionist by any means. But I have struggled with finishing, and finishing strong. And I get tired three fourths of the way through and go, "Oh, whatever is there, let's just be done with this." And that's not who I want to be. 

 

Steve Alessi  

No. And we can only blame it on being a blonde for so long. 

 

Mary Alessi  

Well, it has nothing to do with being a blonde. It is just... It's a habit. 

 

Steve Alessi  

I love you. 

 

Mary Alessi  

It's a habit.

 

Steve Alessi  

I'm so proud of you for making some of those adjustments because— 

 

Mary Alessi  

Somebody has to, honestly. 

 

Steve Alessi  

Yeah, it sure makes a difference in the relationship that we have, and in the organization that we run, and the family that we have. So, finish strong. And that'll come later as you continue your journey with these visions, and these goals, and dreams that you have for this coming year. Hopefully this has been a help and an encouragement to you. And you can use all of these principles, whether it's in your own personal life, in your family, or even in your career. 

 

We want to help you have a better year, this year, and prepare you for an even greater year in '23, '24, and '25. 

 

Mary Alessi  

Let's do it.

 

Steve Alessi  

The best is yet to come. Thanks guys. Hope you enjoyed our Family Business podcast with Steve and Mary Alessi.