May 17, 2023
Beat Burnout! How to Do Great Work That Matters Without Getting Weary | S5 E18

How do you avoid burning out when your job requires so much? The Alessis share keys that will keep you consistently motivated in any service-first profession.

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Are you running out of steam in your career - even though you know your work truly matters?

Every profession carries a certain level of stress...but when your job focuses on helping people, the danger of burning out is even greater. 

What can you do to maintain your desire to impact the world and fight the temptation to quit too soon?

As a family that has maintained their love for ministry for multiple decades, the Alessis have a world of experience on staying motivated and not getting weary as you strive to bless others.

In this TFB episode, Steve Alessi sits down with his daughters Gabrielle Alessi and Lauren Alessi to  shed light on this  often neglected issue of burnout.

You'll gain valuable insights and discover practical strategies to preserve your well-being and avoid burnout as you pursue a fulfilling and meaningful career!

If you enjoy this, you'll love:
Why Music and Ministry Matters in Our Family Business (and How We Do It) | S4 E10

How to Love People (With Problems!) w/ Steve Alessi and Gaby Alessi | S1 E9

How We Found Our Sound: Blending Music, Ministry and Business in the Family | S3 E11

Steve Alessi's powerful new book "FORTY-TWO"  is Now Available! 

For 42 frightening minutes, Steve Alessi's life hung in the balance.  Now he's sharing the truths learned from facing death - and coming back stronger.
His new book  will show you how you  can finish well,  even when you were almost finished!  

TapHEREto order your copy!

We're celebrating our 100 episode milestone by including you in the Family Business! To participate, you can:

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Steve Alessi: Hello, and welcome to another episode of The Family Business with the Alessis, where family is everybody's business. I'm here today in the podcast booth with my oldest daughter that's still home, Lauren Alessi and my youngest daughter that's still home, Gabrielle Alessi.

Gaby Alessi: Final two.

Steve Alessi: The final two. And their mother's not with us today, so we're going to be sharing, , some very, , interesting information. I think this is going to be a really good podcast because it's going to, , I think bridge subject, , that a lot of young people are dealing with, as well as some older people. So it's a good conversation to have. And I have to give some props to Lolo, who came up with this subject.

Lauren Alessi: It was my idea.

Steve Alessi: It was your idea.

Gaby Alessi: She found this out.

Steve Alessi: Hopefully your sister Stephanie will listen to this podcast.

Lauren Alessi: Oh, my goodness.

Steve Alessi: Because you all have already admitted publicly that you all don't listen to each other's podcasts.

Gaby Alessi: We don't.

Steve Alessi: Why don't you do that?

Gaby Alessi: I always hear such good things about Lauren's podcast, and I was like, I don't need to listen to it.

Steve Alessi: That's terrible. And, Lauren, why don't you listen?

Lauren Alessi: We already talk so much to each other that I'm like, I already heard the podcast. Does that make sense?

Steve Alessi: Okay.

Gaby Alessi: Sharing those.

Steve Alessi: Yeah. Why don't you tell them about that beautiful text I sent you the other day? Yeah.

Gaby Alessi: Was it Monday?

Steve Alessi: Sunday? After a great church service where you served at two campuses, I went out of my way to send a nice.

Lauren Alessi: Well, we each served at one campus.

Gaby Alessi: Well, it was a great Sunday.

Steve Alessi: It was a great Sunday. Thank you very much.

Lauren Alessi: It doesn't help at all.

Gaby Alessi: I don't know what you're trying to do.

Steve Alessi: And it was you, Stephanie, you two, and Stephanie. And I just sent it.

Gaby Alessi: 07:00 p.m.. Go ahead. While we were watching Love Is Blind, dad sends us a text with the song best Parts of Me by Will Dempsey.

Steve Alessi: It's a Christian song.

Gaby Alessi: All of you bless me in ways no one on this earth can. Thank you for being great, and I mean great. Knowing each of you were on the platform leading our church today made me the proudest and happiest dad. As you grow up and even end up with a hubby, just remember, you'll always be my baby girls. It was very sweet, but none of us answered.

Steve Alessi: Nobody replied.

Lauren Alessi: I was waiting for someone else to reply, and then I'll be like, okay, now I know what type of text I'll send back.

Steve Alessi: That was terrible.

Gaby Alessi: I was waiting to listen to the song. Problem was because we were watching Love is Blind.

Steve Alessi: Your love is blind for sure blinded you that stupid show.

Lauren Alessi: I read it, and in my head, I responded, yes, I'm very grateful.

Steve Alessi: Your husbands will appreciate that. Honey, I wanted to tell you I love you in my head, but I.

Lauren Alessi: Just didn't write it down.

Steve Alessi: That's a man move. It's not a girl move. What's up with you? Okay, so now that you have totally, , humiliated me, , by that, because most people respond when I send a text, but my own daughters but then again, I don't feel too bad because you don't even listen to each other's podcast episodes. All right. Hey, have you read my book yet?

Lauren Alessi: I have.

Gaby Alessi: I finished it.

Steve Alessi: Perfect.

Lauren Alessi: No, I told we have this discussion. We have this discussion. I'm reading a book and you gave me permission. Like this thing because I'm ready for an exam.

Gaby Alessi: Lauren's learning how to diagnose people. So she has a very big job.

Lauren Alessi: Completely different.

Gaby Alessi: And she's already diagnosed me three times.

Lauren Alessi: Completely different book. Once I finish that textbook, I will move on to your book.

Steve Alessi: That's great, because I did notice when you were watching Love is Blind for that 2 hours. You were blinded by time when you could have been reading my book. But no, I know. Love is Blind is more important. Okay, here's the subject matter so much. Lauren, why don't you go ahead and pitch it? Because it was your idea and I think it's a real good one. So go ahead and what are we going to be talking about?

Lauren Alessi: Thank God we're moving on to the podcast. , okay, so I was with a group of people yesterday, and it was in a school setting. And we were talking about how basically, , people working in the school setting were, for lack of a better word, getting burnt out by helping people, their principal, school counselor, , a coach. And I was just sitting in as, like, , an intern. But I was listening to what they were saying and they weren't complaining, but they were just explaining about how it's a very stressful situation, how their job is to help people and to be there as a principal, a counselor, a coach. But it's not their job to raise other people's kids, right? That's not their job. And I was like, man, this would actually be a really great podcast idea because being in ministry, doing what we do, we've kind of become professionals, especially you and mom at not getting weary and well doing. Because helping people is our job. And helping people and being there for them, that's what we get to do on a daily basis. But when you're working with people, it can get tiring because people can just wear you out. So I was like, this is a great podcast idea. How not to get weary and well doing and essentially in the workplace, how to avoid burnout when you are working with people one on one. So that's kind of what I thought.

Steve Alessi: We should I think it's a great one. Now, first off, I want to thank whoever those educators were for saying it's not our role to parent these kids, raise kids. And, , I appreciate that because that's not the narrative of some of a very liberal crowd that's out there that is saying, we need to parent your kids and tell them what their gender is and walk them through all of their sexual issues as kids. So, thankfully, they're letting parents do the parenting at that particular wonderful school that you intern at. But it's a great subject, avoiding burnout, how not to get weary and well doing. And, , mom and I now okay, so I think we can look at this because it's not just a matter of your job. Some people say, well, some jobs are more labor intensive or mentally draining or spiritually exhausting than others. But I see this in every area because the ministry is an area where I've seen some people get burned out and then I've seen some people get burned out in education. , so it's not a specific place where you can work and say, well, it's because there's more stress there. I mean, these politicians, how in the world do they do it? All the stuff they deal with. So how do we think we could avoid burnout? And, , I would like to pitch better yet, why don't you pitch the questions? Because we're talking about myself. I'll be going into my 40th year of ministry, mhm, next year in 2024. Started in 84 when I came out of college. Going into it 40 years next year. All right? And I love it. So why don't you ask the professional.

Gaby Alessi: Dad, after 40 years of ministry and working, , and you didn't just do ministry, you even tested other things before ministry. But how do you avoid burnout, getting weary and well doing? How do you continue to be passionate about the thing that you're doing?

Steve Alessi: Very good question.

Gaby Alessi: Right?

Lauren Alessi: Because I think it's a must.

Steve Alessi: Sorry.

Gaby Alessi: But quickly, I think it's important to preface.

Lauren Alessi: We were talking about this last night.

Steve Alessi: Sure.

Lauren Alessi: M, we've been in ministry, but for maybe, like, hard hands on ministry, maybe five to ten years. So we have experience from youth group, right. And, , working with young adults, but we haven't worked with people in their whole, I don't know, cycle of life multiple times like you and mom have. So that's where real wisdom comes in. And that's why we were like, we need to be pitching these questions to you.

Steve Alessi: Why? Because sitting at the table last night while we were having dinner came up.

Gaby Alessi: With, yeah, we were talking about the discussion. It's funny, because I took my phone out and I started to record it because I didn't want to miss out on anything that we were going to talk about here today. And I know that I had come off of a zoom call where we were working.

Steve Alessi: Exactly. We were working after hours now. So your nine to five thing, ten to five in our case was over, but you took a zoom call at about 630. And I was bothered by that because we were wanting to go to dinner. And then you had another call at 08:00 830 with a parent. And, , so it was getting in the middle and now going later into the evening, but yet you do it right?

Gaby Alessi: Yeah. And I was talking to people about a situation that we all were saying, okay, let's pace ourselves. We can easily get weary and well doing in this situation. So let's just keep praying. Let's remember, God is the one that helps us.

Lauren Alessi: He's our provider.

Gaby Alessi: We're not trying to build something. We're helping God. But he's ultimately. So we were all in that conversation of, how do we do this? Leaning on God, trusting in him. And then Lauren brought it up at the table, and it was like, this is a great topic, but we don't know the answer to this topic.

Lauren Alessi: And as we were venting about it, you were like, okay, so here's the answer.

Steve Alessi: Yeah.

Gaby Alessi: , he's quiet, taking notes. And what are the answers, dad? How do you get burnout? Or how do you avoid burnout?

Steve Alessi: First off, remember what you said the other day where we were getting ready to go somewhere and you said, okay, here's our week. And the schedule was not the week scheduled during the day. It was the week scheduled during the evening. The weeknights the weeknights. Because every night, pretty much, there was something going on that was getting your attention, keeping you out of the house and so on. And you all are young. You're starting young. You have this energy. You don't go home at the end of the day, or you don't go to some coffee shop and veg out all the time. There's things that are usually happening. So here's what I would say. And again, going into this 40 years, watching my mom and dad, my dad never wanted to give up. He just, up to the very end, always was active. He loved coming around church, loved ministry. , my mother in law faith, she still goes strong. Okay, so we've got great role models ahead of us that avoided the burnout of the ministry. So I think, first off, if we're going to look at this, and I'm going to come at it for a minute from a spiritual perspective, because I look at the words of Jesus, and here's the first thing that came to my mind when we thought about burnout. My yoke is easy, and my burden is light. Yeah, my yoke is easy. The responsibility that you have to carry on the work of ministry or whatever I put in you to accomplish my yoke is easy. HM. The yoke is what you've been tasked with in life. My yoke is easy. It's not that heavy. It's not that burdensome. , he goes on to say, then my burden is light. It's not really that heavy. It shouldn't be so consing you that you're burning out that already in your 30s. You're like, I got to have a ministry shift or career shift, I got to change things. And by the way, young people in your day, they are changing careers two or three and four times. They're always looking for something new. Well, I'm tired of doing the old thing. I'm tired of doing this, that, and the other. Here's how I think you first have to find your sweet spot, okay? Because everybody needs to have one. And it's called a calling. Mhm so here's my first question to you. If you're struggling with burnout, mhm, my question to you is, are you called to this? Because if you're not called to it, then forget it. You're going to spin your wheels. It doesn't matter how much work you do or how little work you do, if you're not called to it, you're going to get burned out. And here's what I know about what we do. I love it. Mhm and doing it for almost 40 years. I still love coming around, seeing the people. I still love seeing the programming take place. I love how the office works. I love how the programming works. I love to see the staff come together. I love hearing strategies, how we're going to do things different, how we're going to do things better. It's exciting to me and to your mom because we really are called to it, which, when you start looking at two people coming together, even with marriage, you better both be on the same page. Mhm you got to make sure your calling is similar in life. It may not be to work together, but how about the calling to your family? You got to be called to raise your kids. That's what you're supposed to do anyway. Why do you get married? You get married to have a wonderful life, but also to raise kids and to build a family. That's a calling. You don't give those responsibilities to somebody else at the daycare or at the school system or at the, , high level of education. It's not up to that professor to raise and educate your kids to the highest degree. That's what a parent is for. So the first thing I would say is, are you called to it? Because if you're not, then there's going to be this constant resistance internally and you're going to start looking for something else to do with your life. And we always said this early on in the ministry, if we could do something else, then do it.

Lauren Alessi: Mhm yes.

Steve Alessi: Because in our line of work, if you have the option of painting houses, selling cars, building businesses, whatever that is, if you have that option in your heart, then you're not called to do the ministry.

Gaby Alessi: Yeah, I feel like when you're called to do the ministry, or even, I'd say, any job that you feel called to, because there's a lot of people that feel called to the ministry, but there's a lot of people that feel called to serving others. We know great friends of ours are lawyers, and they love that line of work and they love that industry. And you know, you're called when even when you don't receive a paycheck, you're still there Monday morning, willing to be there to set up, to make it happen, to get on a zoom call. It doesn't matter if it's outside of work hours, you know you're building it and you're called to it. So, yes, I'm going to get on a zoom call at 630 and we're going to talk and it's going to go 30 minutes, maybe an hour, but take away the paycheck, take away anything that would help me in the I still have to do it and I'm still going to do it. And that's a great evaluator of am I called to this? Do I love my job enough to spend four years of my life to study for that career? Mhm because not a lot of people do that. But do I feel called enough to actually get the credentials, to get the major, to get the certificate to go into that career?

Lauren Alessi: Yeah. And I think a question that I would have next, because actually, I remember we've had this discussion before where you just get tired in ministry, not that you're necessarily burnt out, but you're doing the same thing over again. You've been doing the same thing for two years now. You see no change, right? Or like, you've been working with the same person for quite a while and you see no change. Whether this is in ministry, whether this is in the school system, the school system, outside of ministry, or the school system. It could be anywhere, right, in your career. So let's say you're not necessarily burnt out. No, sorry, this is what I was going to say. , I remember we were having this conversation about a year ago and we said we mentioned being burnt out in ministry, and mom quickly corrected us. She's like, Hold on a second. If you're burnt out in ministry, you're not called to the ministry, period. She's like, my mom and your grandparents, they worked till their 60s in the ministry and they never once got burned out. So that was like, all she needed to say. And I was like, she is absolutely right. And it was like a healthy conviction that I needed. But also not that somebody's necessarily burnt out, but if they're just tired of the repetition and not seeing change, right? You're working with the same person and you're not seeing any change, or you are trying to build something within the ministry, or you're trying to build something within the school system or within your work and you're not seeing any change, how do you avoid not getting weary and well, doing?

Steve Alessi: , okay, so all of this is great, right? And by the way, if we would do a little tag on to calling, being called to something notice, , this I really believe there's a difference between a person's gifting and a person's anointing. And that's another podcast, but I'd love to be able to capitalize on that, maybe come back at the end. But Lauren, here's the other thing. I think what you're asking is all right, and with that question, the whole burnout aspect is when you're working with other people, especially in a leadership role, you got to know that what you're doing is God's work. After all, in any profession, when you're called to do something, you don't really do it for yourself. Now, some people get a job and they do it for a paycheck. Terrible motivation. Paycheck motivation is not a good motivation.

Lauren Alessi: That's how you get burned out.

Steve Alessi: You're going to get burned out because you're feeling like, well, the, , sacrifice that I'm making isn't worth the money m I'm getting. So I know from our line of work, and even educators can understand this if they're called to it, hey, this is ultimately the work of the Creator who put me here on Earth. So if it's his work, I'm just on the payroll. I don't have to be so burdened by this job that it's causing me to burn out. Yeah, well, I think it's because I'm doing this with God at the helm. God needs me to educate these kids. God needs me to, , minister to these people. God needs me to do this. So if it's his work after all, he's the one that's going to carry the majority of the workload, not me. So when I lay my head down at night, as much as I love the people of our church, I know the people of our church are not my people. Now, if I take that on, then I'm going to become very egotistical, very prideful. You're going to hear, hey, my people, keep your hands off of my people. They're my team. This is my hey, none of this is mine. And for all the years that we've been building the churches, it's always been, I'm on God's payroll, so therefore I don't have to carry all the weight of it to burn me out.

Gaby Alessi: And I think that goes for wherever you're working, wherever you're getting paid or you're on staff, but it's a good practice to step back and see your job as the big picture. I know we're going to go into this in a little bit, but take a step back and notice that you're not alone in it. You're not the only person that's on staff. You're not the only person carrying the load of that job or carrying the responsibility. John, , Maxwell says it, it's lonely at the top, but it doesn't have to be. And we so get stuck in the wow, it's lonely. And that's where your ego comes in, man. Just when you're a leader and when you're at the top, you don't have friends anymore and you're like, take a step back. Yes, you do. Look at the people that you're working with. You don't always have to see yourself as the big dog or as the only one doing all the work, or as the only one showing up at 09:00 p.m. When nobody else is here and everybody no step back. Look at the staff members that you're working with. Look at the team members that you're working with. You're not alone in it. And if you're feeling that load or that burden, they're feeling it as well. And it's a good burden to carry. You should see it as a responsibility and take pride in it and don't work like, wow, I'm the only person that's making videos, or I'm the only person that's there to clean up this portion of the building or whatever. Because when you get that, you can get into a bad mentality where you take for granted the job that you have. Meanwhile, that job can be gone tomorrow.

Steve Alessi: Which would lead us to this. If you're going to do something, do it with people you like doing it with, , being surrounded by good people. I know people in corporate America today. They would rather work in a healthy environment that is supported by people they like and not make as much money as opposed to working in an unhealthy environment with people they don't like, making more money because the money doesn't make up for that emotional drain that is on you when you're hanging with the wrong people. Which would then say to me this I've always tried to avoid negative people that have negative things to say about my line of work. And they're out there, and it's very easy to get, , absorbed in that. I don't care what you do if you're working and leading other people, other people are going to create some kind of stress around you. When you're helping people, trying to pull them up to the next level of life, you're always going to be tempted to look at the negative in people because of the problems that they have. Everybody's got their problems, which is why you have a job. Quite frankly, if everybody's perfect, I wouldn't be a pastor. I wouldn't need to be here and do my deal. I'm called to be around people that are imperfect going through the challenges of life to keep them try my best to keep them connecting with God that's going to ultimately allow them to better their lives. So if I start looking at the negatives of the people that I'm trying to help, it's going to weigh me down.

Lauren Alessi: Ah.

Steve Alessi: So I want to make sure that the people that I'm working with are not stressors negatives. Nancy's always trying to bring up the bad side of my job and my profession. No, I'm going to hang out with people that share my same values, that are positive, that want to get the people where I want to get the people. And that's going to take the stress off of my job, which could cause me to be burned out. Mhm, you got to surround yourself with the right people. If this is the workplace, man, stay out of the lunchroom. If all they're doing is talking negative about their job or your boss or the boss. And yeah, by all means, stay away from the person that's always putting down the supervisor or the boss that's above you. Stay away from those people because, , it's just going to drain you. And God forbid you pick up that negative mindset. A lot of this we're talking about, girls, has to do with an attitude.

Lauren Alessi: Yeah.

Steve Alessi: And M, I'm sorry, just because you're in my line of work where you're leading a church, doesn't mean your attitude is all that. , people need to get their attitude saved. They need to get that working. So that makes a big difference. Who are you working with? And make sure you're hanging out with the right people that you like working with. They don't even have to be the coolest people on the job or the smartest, but they're likable.

Lauren Alessi: Yeah. And one of the things I like about this podcast is we said we called it, like, oh, Avoiding Burnout, because probably that's something that people could relate to right away. But what I like is that we're really fixated on how to not get weary and well doing because that's a biblical application of this. I'm sorry, it's allergy season and all of us are like, coughing away. But really what we're trying to do is good. At the end of the day, we're trying to have good attitudes and we're trying to help people. We're really trying to be the best versions of ourselves and we're trying to pour into people. But how do you not get weary in that? And that's what we're talking about today. Burnout is just you've worked too hard in your job. You, , physically and mentally and emotionally exhausted yourself too much and you're burned out by that. This is more than that. You're trying to pour into people. You're trying to do good and you're getting tired because you're not seeing results. Which is what I like about this podcast so much. And what I loved about the last two points you just made, which was, no, it's God's work after all. And also do it with people you like, is that it reminds me of when Jesus is sending out the disciples to do work, and one of the things he tells them is he's like, if they don't accept you, you walk into somebody's house good, and they don't accept you. Shake the dust off your feet, , essentially walk away. You tried, you did your job. They're not accepting of it. And I think that's such an important point to make. If you're trying to do good and somebody's not accepting of it, don't get yourself emotionally involved in it too, , much. You're doing god's work. You, , don't need to be liked by everybody. And that's one of the things you've taught us so well that I so it saved us so much time and emotional capacity to where people don't have to like us all. Not everybody has to be a fan of what the LS are doing. We just need to fixate on the good. And if they don't like us, we shake the dust off our feet and we move on. And we fixate on the ones that are willing and open. With that being said, we know that there are seasons where it's really good, good. And a lot of people are like, we're loving what's going on. But then we also know that there are seasons where there's no movement and there's no growth or it seems like everybody hates you. Right?

Steve Alessi: Yes.

Lauren Alessi: So the seasons come up and down. , what is some advice you would have to people who are getting weary? Right. Because the seasons are changing. The seasons are going up and down.

Steve Alessi: Perfect. Part of your year, I try to look at the whole year, part of the year of doing what you do in your line of work always, , should be seen through the lens of the seasons. So I know at the beginning of the year, we better be ready to work real hard. And it's going to cause us to put a lot of focus and energy on January, February, March up to April, which is going to then be Easter. So we're going to kill it. We're looking at growth. We're looking at external nbers in our church programming and everything to get us ready for Easter. Once Easter comes, it's like an exhale. Okay, now it's time to rest a little bit and say, what will I start to work on now? Because naturally, as we've just seen, after Easter, the crowds go down a little. So you start to have this accordion effect Easter. It's real big after Easter, bring that accordion in. Things are not going to be as big mhm. So don't fret on it. Anticipate it. I start to anticipate it. Now. I know there's a different kind of growth that's going to take place, so I expect it to not be a growth season as we now go through the smer. Right?

Lauren Alessi: Yes.

Steve Alessi: So I'm okay with it. I'm okay that the big nbers are not out there in the you're not emotionally I'm not emotionally going home. I'm almost anticipating just knowing, okay, this is what the crowd is going to look like. Here's what I'm going to be speaking to, who I'm going to be speaking to. Here's what I'm expecting with the funding coming in over the smer, this is what we know needs to be done. Then I realize, all right, here's about August, I'm amping back up again, ramping back up again because we're going to hit it real strong. September. October, November, and whereas it used to be December, we just chill and have family time until mom started doing all these crazy things with us. I just knew those last four months were going to be another growth period. So knowing the seasons, growth, not so much growth in the smer, but growth at the end of the year to then get ready for the new year. I just knew how to anticipate what would be the lulls, the highs and the lows, so that it wouldn't get to my heart and cause me to then break down and get discouraged. It's a different kind of growth that takes place. We're growing all year long. The organization is growing, but sometimes it's internal, sometimes it's external. And in the school system, for instance, during the smer, teachers take off. It's a whole different vibe for them. The educators get a break because they're killing it for. So the same way that they do that, we should be looking at areas of our own areas of growth or with our work. Maybe at the first part of the month things are hard, but maybe the last part of the month, they're not just anticipate some of the seasons when it comes to growing. Then let me also say this. I would encourage you to not burn out and not get weary and well doing. See the fun in what you're doing. Mhm. Not the negative, not the work. Don't focus on that. But what's the fun aspect of it? I know David and Tony next door with the construction group for construction. When they start, I'm always amazed at their line of work because they start with nothing, an empty parcel of land, and they go to work. And when they're finished with it, there's a beautiful building that they've had to build. And it's not just the concrete going down now, it's as you get higher, you put walls, you put the roof, but then you go in and you're putting doors, you're putting door knobs, you're putting toilets, you're doing lighting, you're doing AC, you're doing this beautiful decor. When it's all said and done, it's a lot of work and a whole lot of money. They're doing 40 and $50 million job projects, but at the same time, when it's finished, you have such a feeling of accomplishment that it's rewarding and it's fun. I would say always focus on what the reward is going to be and make it fun, because the work is always going to be work. And I don't care what it is. It's the only four letter word we don't like to use in this day. It's going to cost you some time and energy and mental space, effort, sacrifice. It is what it is. That's why you work for it, get paid for it. But look for what is fun in our line of work. Seeing marriages stay together and prosper, young kids getting married, seeing you all play the other night on Monday out there at the Daeland campus at 11:00 at night. It was your last volley. I love watching that. It's fun to see the young people, young adults, connecting like that. It's fun seeing our men go up to our camp and our ladies go to the womanity camp and see them tackle some issues and come back, change. All of that, to me, is fun. So I would encourage you to see the fun in what you are doing. And when you do that, then you'll recognize, okay, I'm contributing to something.

Lauren Alessi: Yeah.

Steve Alessi: I mean, come on. What if you were a soccer player or a football player? Baseball. You're playing a game and you're getting paid for it. Are you tired? Do you hate having to prepare for it? Yes. But in the long run, guess what? It's a game.

Gaby Alessi: It's a game.

Steve Alessi: Have fun with it.

Lauren Alessi: But you know what, dad? , I don't think anybody is telling young people what you just said besides the fun. I think some people right. Nobody's telling young people or, like, millennials or Gen Z about the seasons of work that you're going to go through. Like we had said before, people go through, like, three career changes in their life, right? Specifically, this younger generation, because people just get bored and they really don't know the definition of success. And these days, we see success as constant. It needs to be across all four seasons. And if you're not successful in the wintertime and in the spring, and you're only successful in the smer and in the fall, then you're a failure. Right. And it's so nice to hear that. No, let's think about it. Even professional athletes, they play like football players play what, August through if you're really good? February.

Steve Alessi: Right?

Lauren Alessi: , that's it. And then they practice, and that's their definition of success. And then you can still be a professional athlete and then play August through December, and you may not even make it. So every person, every worker in the world goes through seasons, and it's just good to anticipate those seasons. And the truth is, that's the secret to, , longevity. That's the secret to success. Not that you're going to be successful all year round. Not that there's going to be constant success, but it's just that you have to anticipate those seasons and have fun in the seasons where you have a little downtime, have fun in the seasons where you're seeing that change. And so that's just wisdom.

Steve Alessi: And I just I wish parents would grab that. I wish young couples would get a hold of this. When your kids are driving you crazy, remember, I mean, steph to this day, it's so cute to watch her and Moena handle Gianna, because at first they wanted to be around her. Twenty four, seven. And now that she six months down the road, eight months down the road, when she was absorbing so much of their energy, they're like, okay, would you all take her for the afternoon?

Lauren Alessi: It's true. They didn't want to let her go.

Steve Alessi: No. And all this is a season with her where some parents and young women, quite frankly, can say, I'm burned out on parroting. You've only had one, and they're only two years old. Or maybe you do have three and they're six, five and four. Maybe you do. It's just a season. You're putting in the work. You're not burned out. There's going to be a day when you look at that work of art that you have painted in your kids that you're going to be so proud of. It's going to be so fun. It's beautiful. As they get older, it changes and they start adding. It adds fun, spice to your life. The vacations you'll spend, the things you'll do together, the school plays you'll go to. Yes, it's a lot of work to drop them off to this practice and to that event. It is. But you're not going to get burned out. I wish you would just kind of let's get rid of that term because.

Gaby Alessi: You don't have to you can't say that word.

Steve Alessi: I just would rather do this in my life. Okay, dad's 62. , I'm not going to burn out. I'm just going to blow up one day. Boom, it's all over. Because gave it to the end, but in nice bite sized pieces that made the journey so much funner. Because I'll tell you right now, just releasing the book. I never thought I'd release a book. Right. Just releasing the book, doing that deal, having these grandkids come around, seeing the church at the season that it is in, , seeing you girls with your brother, your future spouses on the platform, seeing Marina up there with Steph, which is what inspired me. Watching you all on Sunday to write that text you didn't even reply to. That really is this is the best season of my life, and there's no such thing as burnout for us. And your mom's the same way. I mean, right now she's shopping for furniture in South Carolina with a few ladies in the church. Broken arm, a broken shoulder. Yes. Last week, she's on the road spending time and get sick and come, , home. And then she's out of commission for a couple of days. I got to continue nursing and taking care of her. You know what? She doesn't burn out. We just don't believe in that. So we're not going to get weary and well doing, because over the years, we've learned one we're called to this, yes, we're doing the work, but ultimately it's God's work after all. We do it with great people mhm that we really like, and we've been doing it with them for some of them 25 plus years. Same people in the boat with us. We've learned the seasons and how important they are, and we're having fun along the way. And I would encourage all of our listeners to do that very same thing in your own life with the work that you are called to do, and you will find yourself never getting weary in doing well. Thanks for joining us again for another episode of The Family Business with the Alessis. That would be Lilo, Gabby and Steve. God bless.

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Gabrielle AlessiProfile Photo

Gabrielle Alessi

Youth Ministry Director, Metro Life Church